Second Chair Syndrome

[reedytoxin]

#REEDYTOXIN a private low-medium activity portrayal of jan bellows from ONLY MURDERS IN THE BUILDING. always placed first by cooper [ over thirty; she/they ]. crossover-friendly, canon-compliant with aus. dark themes present; please dni if you're under 18. not a spoiler-free blog.

¹carrd ²prompts ³promo ⁴starter call

a study in the hunger for validation, the resentment that simmers beneath perfection, weaponized band-nerd energy, moral drift, and being perpetually “almost first”.

accomplices: @rehabillitada, @unbeleveable, @alyafae

[reedytoxin]

it's been a long time coming, but i'm making it official: i'm going on hiatus. feel free to keep in touch on discord. to quote e.t., be good 💜

[reedytoxin]

𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐮𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐬 ﹙𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐰𝐞𝐫 & 𝐭𝐚𝐠 [some] 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 ﹚

Favorite Colors // Yellow makes me happy

Last Song // Song of Happiness by Trickstar

Currently Reading // I Wanna Be Your Girl #3

Watching // Into the Dark: Midnight Kiss, School Spirits, Starfleet Academy

Currently Playing // My forever obsession: Ensemble Stars

Craving // Biscoff kisses from @practicalmcgic 🥺

Tagged by // @diviningtime thank yoou! 💜

Tagging // @rehabillitada, @ghstlnes, @legalmaneuver, @chronically-engaged, @foreverbutcher & anyone else who hasn't been tagged!

[practicalmcgic]

practicalmcgic// An independent, selective, multi muse featuring Lucifer Morningstar (Highly canondivergent) and Lilith from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, and more from Chilling Adventures of Sabrina with crossover friendly and various witch and other supernatural muse, and other muses from various fandoms.

RULES, AND MUSES

[reedytoxin]

“I was an only child once… the happiest four years of my entire life,” she sighed wistfully. “Are you self-taught or have you been taking lessons?” While she loved playing the bassoon, she had never thought of it as therapy, but in many ways it did help her channel her anger… just not well enough sometimes.

@mysteriousmissweems cont.

[chronically-engaged]

Plotted starter for @reedytoxin

The cold metallic walls of the facility and complete lack of natural light gave Maigret the feeling of stepping into a world which wasn’t quite real. Where the ordinary rules of society didn’t apply, only the cold churning of the machine.

It seemed as if he had been walking through an endless number of identical corridors, each with cage doors at the end which the guard leading him had to unlock, when at last he caught sight of who he’d come to see.

The visiting cell was probably more spacious than she was used to. It was empty aside from a table and chair at the center. Maigret approached the cage with small box of cookies which he held up for her to see before passing it to the guard to deliver to her cell. He’d made a stop at a bakery back in the city proper. It was usual for him not to visit empty handed when he journeyed up to the big prisons. Especially those that held lifers.

“How are you?” He said in a tone which matched the unreality of his surroundings.

[reedytoxin]

The dark blue shade of the jumpsuit they made her wear drained what little color she had left. She missed the ritual of dressing up for visitors: doing her makeup, choosing a perfume, planning what to serve. The one thing she didn’t miss was the social mask. That part had always been exhausting.

The guard warned her to behave and guided her to the chair in the center of the room. She slumped into it, actually appreciating not having to see a visitor through glass for once. The detective must have had some pull to secure accommodations like these. When she noticed the thoughtful gift he’d brought, she lifted a hand in a small wave and mouthed a silent thank you.

At his question, she tapped the table lightly, an invitation to come closer. “I feel like I’ve turned back time, Detective. I’m back in high school,” she said dryly. “I fill my days with scheduled activities, get fed some nutritious slop”. The adjective dripped with sarcasm. She was shocked when she first learned what could pass for food here. Not even school cafeteria food had been this awful. “My social visits are screened and timed, and I’m just…” She set her cuffed hands on the table, the metal clinking softly against its surface as she leaned forward with deliberate intent. “…so incredibly touch-starved.”

A beat. Then, smoothly, “But how are you? How are things at home?”

[legalmaneuver]

continued. || @reedytoxin

"I don't hate so easily. I know it feels like I should. People have this stereotype about lawyers, but I like to think the southern gentleman stereotype cancels it out." Well, it was only partly true. He really hated most of the criminals he spoke with, only because they looked down on him. Hell, he should probably hate Vivienne after what she did to him, but he didn't.

"I've dealt with a lot of people in my line of work and I can assure you that I've probably heard much worse than whatever it is." He shrugs and pours himself another drink. "I mean, I'm not going to get you shit faced drunk just to hear whatever it is, but if you want to drink more then... that's not my choice, right?"

[reedytoxin]

Oh, what she’d give to be more like him, to stop feelings from overpowering her. She had come to realize that the distance between loving someone and hating their guts was minuscule, volatile. She had worked on that realization with several therapists, across countless sessions. Still, the way she felt about her sister had metastasized over time, growing all-consuming. It had come to define her—her relationships, her desires, even the shape of her self-worth.

“I still don’t think you’d like me very much,” she said, a self-pitying chuckle slipping out as she looked up at him. “Even my own sister hates me.” Her smile faltered. “That’s actually what I came here to talk about. I’d like to explore the possibility of getting a restraining order against her. Is that possible?”

[rehabillitada]

as she leaned in closer, lucía's eyes focused on the phone; as equally excited as she was appreciative that jan went to the effort to snap a picture for her. ❛❛ okay, definitely far cuter than i imagined ❜❜ she admitted, allowing a delicate smile to form as slid the phone back across the table. she was definitely more of a cat person, she'd love to have one of her own. but with her work schedule, it wouldn't be fair to the cat. it always felt easier for her to live alone. ❛❛ maybe i'll get to meet him at the next meeting. ❜❜

❛❛ yeah, sometimes i'm not even sure that downtime is even a good thing ❜❜ lucía then admitted, her voice a little more tentative than usual and she let out a nervous laugh; almost as if she regretted saying it the moment it slipped from her lips — opening up wasn’t something she did often. ❛❛ because that's when it gets harder, ya know? moving from one case to the next gives me very little time to dwell on what i just witnessed. ❜❜ as she spoke, lucía's gaze moved around the room. her eyes momentarily lingered on her tea cup, then flicked briefly past jan, to finally land on the window.

[reedytoxin]

her gaze fell on lucía’s face, the small smile curving her lips enough to make jan’s heart flutter. she was exactly her type: a little sad, a little lonely, devastatingly beautiful. but the nurse’s work kept her too busy for anything beyond friendly neighbors or neighborly friends. ❛❛ or maybe we can come up with an excuse for you to visit howard, ❜❜ she laughed, tucking her phone away with deliberate care. jan couldn’t imagine being in a relationship with someone and not being the center of their universe.

and then lucía went and said something so honest, so unguarded—how could jan not feel something when a person bared a side of them like that? it was magnetic, because it meant lucía thought jan mattered enough to hear see this side of her. ❛❛ it might not be so bad if you find something to keep you busy during the downtime. something that helps you shed off all that weariness. ❜❜

[reedytoxin]

what? i'm actually working on replies today?!

[reedytoxin]

The sting of betrayal is palpable in her voice, in the way she insists on moving even as her body begs her to stop, to rest.

Jan’s eyes soften with concern as she rushes to her side, carefully slipping her arms around the other from behind to help steady her. “You know you shouldn’t be up,” she chides gently. “Why don’t you sit down and let me have a look around?”

She guides her toward a chair with a slight tilt of her head, voice low and reassuring. “Let me take care of this for you.”

@frstwomn cont.

[foreverbutcher]

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE SUCH A FUCKING SAINT . . . Shauna wasn't paying any attention when she turned with an iced latte in hand that soon ended up on the floor of a local coffee shop when she turned around, knocking into the other party. The liquid ended up on the bottom of her pants & shoes. ❝Shit.❞ It is only when Shauna looks up that she finds Jan, someone that she knows in passing. ❝Did I get some on you?❞ Her voice is soft, almost soothing, meant to invite trust. starter call by @reedytoxin

[reedytoxin]

❝It’s fine,❞ she shrugged it off, eyes dropping to her stained sneakers. She’d gone to the coffee shop in the same rags she’d been wearing while cleaning out her mother’s basement, never expecting to run into anyone she knew. Jan had desperately needed a walk, an escape from her sister. Handling their mother’s estate had turned out to be far more challenging than she’d anticipated, and Diana’s nagging suggestions were making everything feel unbearable. ❝It looks like you might actually be having a worse day than I am,❞ she added gently. ❝Let me get you a replacement—and someone to mop this up. What was your order?❞

[a-aunbeleveable]

↳ Good. I love your smile. ↳ Don't you dare!!! There will be a place for you somewhere. ↳ Besides, I need you. ♥️ ↳ I think I can manage that. Give me three hours.

[reedytoxin]

↳ I love yours. ↳ I miss it and the taste of your lips. ↳ 3 hotrs? ↳ What are you watchign? ↳ Gone with hte wind?

[rehabillitada]

she hadn't seen her girlfriend in a few days. not since jan left on a short trip, on which she'd told lucía that she'd be performing; and lucia was happy for jan. proud that she had such a great opportunity. but since her return, lucia hadn't exactly been acting like the most supportive girlfriend. in fact, she'd been a little distant. a text here and there — mostly with excuses as to why she can't see jan right now. work, meeting, etc.

but she had a good reason to be distant. at least, lucia though so. taking in a teenager was a big deal. but it was one she had done on a whim only a few days ago; and with how much the kid was dealing with, she wanted to give her a little time to adjust, before bringing jan into the picture.

however, the universe had other plans. ❛❛ oh... hey. ❜❜ lucia greeted, almost in shock, as she pulled open her apartment door to find jan on the other side. she'd been expecting the doordash guy any moment, with their food, so she'd let her guard down and threw open the door without double checking. fuck sake, luci. she scolded herself, as she forced a smile. and anxiety began creeping in. her heart raced as she stood in the doorway; pyjama-clad, hair pulled up into a messy bun. clearly hadn't been anywhere recently. ❛❛ i uh, how was your trip? ❜❜ she asked, awkwardly.

@reedytoxin ៸ starter call

[reedytoxin]

it felt like her girlfriend had been going out of her way to avoid her these past few days, and the insecurities had been gnawing at her relentlessly. lucía was seeing someone else, wasn’t she? she barely had time for herself with work; how had she even met this person? maybe at work. maybe through her group. then, another thought crept in, unwelcomed but heavy enough to cool the anger in her stomach to a simmer. had she relapsed?

she couldn’t be seeing someone else—not in that outfit. still, it was obvious lucía hadn’t been expecting her to show up at her door. even though they lived in the same building and stopped by each other’s apartments all the time. jan had missed her. she’d hoped for more than a hey. she tried to rationalize her reaction—the tightness in her voice, the obvious signs of anxiety. it had to be the latter. it had to be. so she swallowed the bitter remark about how romantic being greeted like this was.

❛❛ it was, as expected, all work and no play, ❜❜ she said softly, pursed lips curved into a tight smile. ❛❛ brought you something. ❜❜ a small gift bag dangled from her index. was lucía not going to invite her in? ❛❛ is this a bad time? ❜❜

[diviningtime]

In answer to the derisive question, Lilia gave a one sided shrug. She'd long since stopped caring whether people thought her work was legitimate or not, especially when being perceived as a fraud had become her easiest and safest route.

"Does it matter which when it's true?" she asked simply. There was something between these sisters that started long before this child's birthday, long before the sister's marriage, long before a lot of things, and so much of it had just been allowed to fester, both from real offences and imagined ones. Lilia was just surprised something hadn't exploded between them yet.

"And you feel that's gotten worse since she married your brother-in-law," Lilia gauged, her gaze turning to find Edward once more among the crowd. "He's someone who could make a person feel small when he wanted to. Or raise them up if it suited his purpose. But," Lilia paused, turning her gaze back to the sister. Jan. "It might sound like something from an inspirational yoga lesson, but the only people who can make us feel small are ourselves. And we're the only ones that can help us step out of it," she added with emphasis.

"Trust me; I've lived long enough to know how true that is."

[reedytoxin]

It really didn’t matter, and yet a part of her wanted to know how serious this woman was about her craft. Evidently, she had learned how to talk around certain subjects, gently redirecting anyone who might be circling too close. Jan found herself admiring how unbothered she seemed by it all. She imagined others in her position might grow fidgety if their legitimacy was questioned in any way.

She nodded slowly. That was the heart of it, wasn’t it? How her sister had used marriage and a picture-perfect family to twist the knife she had allowed to stay lodged in her back all those years. “You know Edward personally?” she asked. Or had she pieced all of that together when he reached out to hire her?

“Madame Calderu.” Her lips curved into a smirk. “You sound exactly like my therapist.” But more assured somehow, as though she actually knew what she was talking about. The suggestion that this was something Jan could have controlled was absurd. At least, that was what she told herself. Otherwise, she’d have to confront the possibility that she’d been nursing that resentment long after the wound itself had stopped bleeding.

[reedytoxin]

She could still feel the way Mark had protected the back of her head as he pushed her against the wall. Even in the heat of the moment, he’d cared enough to make sure she wasn’t hurt. As she adjusted her coat, the memory of his tender gaze flickered through her mind. It had been so long since anyone had looked at her like that—like she was special, the center of their universe.

She tried to compose herself, but a tear slipped free anyway. “I’m sorry,” she murmured. “This is so… embarrassing.” And then @heartsofhabit had to go and say something like, It’s okay to feel emotional afterward. From what heavenly clay had this man been crafted?

She shook her head, refusing to let her feelings ruin her makeup. “Can’t let you see me without my mask,” she chuckled softly, patting her pockets in search of a napkin or tissue, hoping one would magically appear.

[reedytoxin]

“Why didn't you kill me when you had the chance?” What a curious question for @rcartwright to ask. Why even approach her; wasn’t he afraid of what she could do to him? Jan tilted her head slightly. “Where’s the fun in shooting someone from a distance? That’s never been my style.”

Her eyes were cold, perfectly in step with her voice, though her lips curved into something almost playful. “If you’re going to kill someone, you should be close enough to really see them, to hear the panic set in. Otherwise,” she shrugged lightly, “what’s the point?”

[reedytoxin]

🍓

mutuals send me a 🍓 and ill compliment u!

while we've only known each other for a few weeks, you’ve shown me what a genuinely kind and talented person you are. i really enjoy our conversations! your great sense of humor, passion for media, and enthusiasm for everything ben (both chaplin and barnes) are wonderful. and, of course, i love hearing about griff and seeing his adorable face. i feel very lucky to have found you!