Art of loving each other even when you're away | Spencer Reid x reader
this is reeeally short, just something i was thinking about and decided to write down <3
Contents: fluff, love notes, estabilished relationship
Warnings: None
You and spencer had met two years ago, both visiting a museum exposition of some unknown artist that you now realize is so on brand for both of you. He started rambling to you about the paintings, you two started going out, and a few dates later you were officially dating. Spencer was happy with you, well no, happy was an understatement. The certified genius PhD Spencer Reid was head over heels, whipped for you.
Because of the intensity of his feelings, something he'd never felt before, he was so scared of fucking it up. Due to his work, the amount of time he'd spend away on cases, the baggage of it all, he'd thought you'd give up, get tired of him never being around and of his crazy schedule and leave. Well, what he didn't expect was that the women he was pretty sure was his soulmate would have a routine almost as insane as his.
A few weeks into the relationship he realized how perfectly your lives matched into each others, yes the distance still hurt, and you were always worrying and calling him to make sure he was safe and alive but having jobs with crazy schedules brought a new level of understanding into your relationship in a way that neither of you had experienced in any other relationship before. And now, a couple of years into the relationship and living together, you might have perfected the art showing love to each other even when you're away.
So, before he leaves for a case, in the table of the living room in the apartment you share, he starts leaving you little notes, poems and sometimes a book he loved and annotated just for you. In return, before you go out for a work trip you leave him love letters with a kiss from your lipstick in the end (the maroon one, spencer's favorite of yours), sometimes the same book he left you but now with your notes (because he loves knowing you took the time to read something he enjoyed).
It makes you miss each other a bit less, the distance feels less harsh and even though you two spend a lot of time away, you'll always be thinking about and love each other.
You're just a little bit too much like me | Spencer Reid x Reader
Enemies to lovers | angsty fluff
Word count: 1755
Warnings: Normal criminal minds type of violence, mention of guns and gunshots, age gap (Reader is about 25, and Spencer is in his late 30s)
Content: Spencer being an asshole because he doesn't know how to deal with his feelings and how you remind him of his older self, past Spencer trauma (implied but not directly mentioned), self-doubt, Post prison! Spence
It was a difficult situation, only your second week on the job and the first time you had to make that kind of decision. You went alone to a location where the suspect might have been at, all of your teammates were further away so, as reckless as you now recognize it was, you went there alone, instead of waiting like Spencer and Emily asked you too. You didn't want to lose your chance, there were more than 3 days on the field at stake here, you did not want to disappoint your colleagues and just stand there waiting like a dumb newbie, so you made the decision.
“I'm going in” You warn your teammates in the radio, not waiting for a response before storming into the unsubs house.
You bust the door open with your feet, storming into the house. As you look inside, you find the unsub taking his gun from a drawer. Thinking you had an advantage as his back was facing you, you rush to try and immobilize him, but somehow he managed to turn around and shoot you.
You growled in pain as your body dropped to the ground, just before you passed out completely you heard the sound of rushed footsteps. You heard two voices, one you recognized as Emily's going after the unsub, and the other as Reid's talking to you.
“Please don’t go to sleep, we need you awake” His voice was soothing, far different from the tone he always used with you ever since you joined the team this year, but he sounded so worried, and you really did try to stay awake for him, for your team, to show that you were okay and that they needed to go after what's important, the unsub, but you couldn't. The last thing you heard as your vision got black was him yelling at his radio, “Medical, we need medical right now”. And then, everything went black.
You are now back at your first day on the job. Still at your house, confused as to what outfit you should use, so anxious about being so young at the top team of profilers, even thought it was a last year internship you hoped to impress them enough that they would hire you officially for the team, so your anxiety was through the roof wondering whether you really deserved to be there (goddamn that impostor syndrome). But most of your worries went away when you met the team, you would never imagine that the best profilers in the FBI and maybe in the world would be such good, kind and even funny people. They all welcomed you, seeming excited to be able to work with you, except from one of them.
Doctor Spencer Reid, you had read about him and his genius mind, you even went to a couple of his lectures on forensic psychology, honestly? You were a fan, and you were so excited to meet and work with someone you looked up to. Unfortunately, he didn't seem as eager to meet his new coworker. He just stood there in the back, staring at you while you introduced yourself to the team, the most he did was mutter a “morning” when you sat next to him in the briefing room.
Never meet your heroes, they say.
Now, you're back at… Where are you again?
Your eyes begin to open, you're completely adrift until you finally begin to recognize the awful white light, and the coldness of the room. You're at the hospital, no idea as to how much time has passed.
Jennifer comes into your line of vision, holding your hand, “Hey, how are you feeling?” her voice is calm, as she watches you sit up in the hospital bed.
“I'm fine, I think... I didn't even realize what happened back then. Oh shit, did you guys catch him?” You abruptly try to sit up, remembering how you couldn't get the unsub when you got shot, guilt washing over you as you started to piece together what happened
“Hey slow down, Emily went after him and made the arrest, the victim was rescued. He shot you, but it just grazed you. You did lose a lot of blood, that's why you passed out, but the doctors say you'll be fine to leave today. Don't worry.” She says as the doctor comes in to do his final checking.
You just agree with your head, lost in your own thoughts. You knew it wasn't your fault that you got shot, but still you felt so stupid. The hurt of not being able to catch the unsub might've been even bigger than the one from your wound, all of them had been in even more difficult situations than you and made it out without so much as a scratch, and you couldn't even catch an unsub that was alone?
After a few hours, you were back on the jet, finally heading home. The guilty was still bothering you, and you even apologized for the mistake. Hotch just asked you to be more careful and follow instructions next time, but overall, the team seemed genuinely happy you were fine. Except, of course, for Spencer, who ever since you got in the jet was staring daggers at you.
Later, the jet finally landed, and you were eager to get home. You quickly went to the office to get a few of your things, Unfortunately, you and Spencer were now all alone in an uncomfortable silence waiting for the elevator.
“That was reckless” Spencer mutters under his breath
“I'm sorry, what?” You turn in your heels to face him, had you heard that right? Is that the first thing he's going to tell you after you just got shot?
“What you did on the case, was reckless and naive. You should've followed our instructions, you can't just do what you feel like doing” he's looking in your eye now, his voice coming out angry but with a hint of… worry?
“I'm sorry ok? I tried to do something, I just did not want to just stay there waiting while he could be doing god knows what inside that house” Your voice comes out more shaky than you wanted it to, the weight of the guilt pressing into your chest
“Still, it was reckless and stupid, you should never just storm into, alone, a place where an unsub might be, you never know what he might do to you, what might be waiting inside.” His gaze is cold, almost as if he's not actually here talking to you, but somewhere inside his head and his memories.
“Trust me, I know that. I regret my decision, but I wasn't doing what I felt like, I tried my best, Reid.” You turn to look directly in his eye. Yes you did something wrong, but you wouldn't let him out of all people talk like that to you “I might be the youngest on the team, the one with less experience but trust me… I'm not dumb, I earned my place here.” Your voice shaky when you said that last sentence, the insecurity you felt showing through your words.
Something in his gaze shifted after that, his expression became softer, almost sympathetic. “Listen, I'm not saying you're not qualified, I'm sorry if it came off like that, just be careful… That could have ended a lot worse, trust me I know”
“ I will” The air between you two less intimidating now but still heavy with tension, you two step in the elevator, the whole way to the garage an awkward silence until you two finally reach the bullpen's garage.
Even thought you felt like now maybe he didn't absolutely want you gone from the team, you were still curious as to why he is so cold to you
“Sorry, I need to ask… Why do you hate me?” You turn to him, after finally gathering the courage to ask this question
“What do you mean, don't hate you”
“Yes you do, I mean you're not obligated to like me but since I joined, you didn't even meet me yet and just gave this cold look”
His eyebrows furrowed as he processed your words, clearly taken aback by your directness. He sighed, a hint of regret in his eyes, and rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. "It's not about you personally," he finally admitted, his voice softer than before.
“What is it about, then?”
He takes a deep breath before starting to talk “You're only 3 years older than me when I joined this team, I know what it does you, to your mind. I guess I just saw way too much of me, of who I used to be, in you, and it terrified me to be honest” His cold facade disappeared completely now, in its place a soft and genuine expression.
“So you were, and I'm sorry for the words, an asshole to me because you were worried?” You almost can't wrap your head around it, all this time you felt like one of your biggest references in the BAU hated you, but instead he was caring for you.
“Yes, I see how it comes out as “asshole” behavior, but my brain just went full shutdown when i saw you” His face turns slightly red when he notices what he just said – Freudian slip or just a bad choice of words? He doesn't's know for sure – His hand goes to awkwardly scratch the back of his neck “I mean… for the resemblance, of how I acted when I had just joined, of course”
You give him a small smile, and just like that your side that has been a fan and read all of this man's articles comes back to life “Of course. Thank you for worrying but maybe instead of hating me you could… I don't know, if it's not too much of a bother of course, help me? I value your worries Doc, maybe you could help me not make the same mistakes you did”
He nodded, a hint of relief washing over his features. "I'd be happy to help," he said, a genuine smile finally breaking through. "I might not have all the answers, but I can definitely share what I've learned along the way."
“I'm happy to hear that, thanks, Doc. Reid” You wave at him as you begin walking over to your car.
“Hey, just call me Spencer” He smiles warmly at you
All these little things pt.1 | Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
fluff <3
The little actions that made Spencer fall in love with you
Warnings: None!
Content: Reader helping Spencer with migraine, friends to lovers but not yet
You joined the team only one year after Spencer, you and him were the youngest on the team and ended up growing really close over time. You two not only bonded over being the same age and sharing experiences, but both of you we're also the biggest nerds to ever walk on the face of the earth.
It all started when Spencer came to work with a ‘doctor who’ mug that was shaped like TARDIS, it immediately caught your eye, as you were a fan of the show for a really long time and, it only being your third week on the job, you were really looking for a reason to become friends with the team.
“Spencer, is that a doctor who mug?” You say, approaching his desk and leaning against it to face him
“Yeah, are you a fan?” He says, looking up at you
“Of course! I've been watching it since I was a child, i'm obsessed with it. Actually, i am going to need the name of the place where you bought that mug” You smile as you remember the afternoons spent in your childhood home, watching doctor who and eating a mountain of chocolate
Spencer smiles at you, happy to have someone who shared the same interests as him, maybe, he thought to himself, he would finally have someone to listen to his nerdy rants.
A month later, you two were already acting as if you've known each other for your entire lives, discovering other shared interests, similar humor and life experiences, you two were perfect for each other. You had gotten close to the rest of the team, but what you and Spencer had was something else, and everybody noticed.
“Hey, do you want to marathon some documentaries with me? I've been meaning to watch them, but I would love some companion” Spencer says to you, as you both got ready to leave the bullpen
You're caught by surprise by his invite, you've been meaning to invite him but never gathered the courage to do so, scared that your friendship wasn't at that point yet, you were glad he had asked.
“Yeah, of course” You smile at him, “What are they about though?”
His face lit up at the question, clearly excited to tell you about them, you loved how passionate he was about his interests, and you loved to be the one who heard all his rants.
“Alright, so there's this one, which I think you'll love, that is about the history of music and music genres”
“Oh, I will love that. Let's go?” You say, holding onto his arm as you two walk to the elevator
“Ohh and there's also this one about unknown facts of the French Revolution, it's in French and might not have subtitles yet, but I can whisper the translation for you while we watch”
“Sounds fun, Spence” You giggle at his enthusiasm as you two head to his house
You two spent the whole night watching the docs and then talked until late at night, he didn't let you grab a taxi that late, so you ended up sleeping at his couch (after arguing a lot, because he wanted to leave his bed for you). The next morning, he woke up early to make you coffee and breakfast. You spent the rest of the morning together, laughing and talking about random topics. For you that was it, he was now your best friend, and you knew he saw you as such too.
Now, 5 years later you and Spencer are the closest you've ever been, the sleepovers at each other's houses are basically routine, you two will go on road trips when off of work, share hotel rooms while away on cases, do everything together. With time, both of you started blurring the lines between friendship and something else. It was clear to everyone else that you two felt something for each other, it was even clear to both of you, but neither would ever risk confessing.
Until, Spencer started noticing these things, little things that you did, and they made him fall so deeply in love with you. Then, there was the moment he knew he had t have you.
He had been complaining to you about his migraines, the next day you appeared with two drinks in your hand and a bag full of stuff
“Good morning to you” He told you, smiling at you as you put all the stuff you were holding on his desk
“Good morning spence, I spent like, 3 hours searching stuff to ease migraines and I might have the solution to your problems” You say, pulling out all the things you bought him.
“You didn't have to do that”
“Of course I had, you're my best friend and there's no way I'm letting that beautiful brain of yours keep hurting” You smile at him, you really hated to see him in pain, and you knew that migraines had a big effect on his mental health, he always seemed more irritable and sad when he had those. “Alright so, according to my researches' caffeine can help, so this is a black coffee, with very little sugar which I know you hate, but it's for your health so drink it” You hand him the coffee and watch him take a sip and make a frown
“Alright doctor, what else” He's laughing at your serious tone that really makes you sound like you're his doctor, but also his heart couldn't help but flutter at how much thought you had put into helping him get better, how much you cared about him
“The article also said ginger helps, so I made you ginger tea, which has sugar so that's a win for you, and also a sleep mask because they said that dark helps. Also, you need to start sleeping earlier, you can't keep going to sleep at 4 a.m and expect to be fine” You finished helping – and lecturing – him, with a smile on your face, Spencer tended to close himself off to being helped and taken care of, and you knew how hard that could be so you were happy to help him.
“Thank you honey” He says, smiling at you
“You're very welcome spence” You smile back at him and start making way to your way to your desk “... oh, I forgot” you say turning in your heels “Get up”
“What, why?” His face is confused as he gets up from his seat
“For this” You hug him deeply, not letting go until a couple seconds have passed “my grandma always says love heals everything”, Spencer's face softens, and he hugs you back.
He pulls away, still smiling, and says “Thank you”. You both hug again before separating.
This was it, there was no way he could hide it anymore. Even if it ruined everything, he had to tell you how much he loved you.
For the rest of the day, Spencer did what you told him to do, even clocking out earlier to try and sleep better. But, throughout the whole day all he could think about was how much you cared for him, how you inadvertently told him you loved him. The next day, his migraine really had gotten better, and he would choose to believe it was you who made it all better and not the ibuprofen he had taken before sleeping.
Late night confessions | Spencer reid x Fem!Reader
only fluff allowed in this house
In which Spencer can't believe how oblivious you were.
Warnings: Pretty sure none!
Content: Love confessions, reader is oblivious, really cutesy, petnames (stuff like darling...)
--
It’s a Saturday night, and you’re getting ready to go out with your friends from the BAU. Somehow, you guys got lucky enough to have this day off and decided to go to a bar and have some fun. Hotch and Rossi both said they’re “too old” for this and decided to not go, which honestly left you relieved, you really did not want both your bosses to see you in the outfit you had planned for the night. Besides them, everyone was going, and you were excited to see the team outside of work – particularly excited to see a certain genius.
You and Spencer are the kind of friends that everyone perceived as “suspiciously close” and everyone that didn’t know thought you guys were a couple. Actually, there was a bet amongst your friends as to how long it would take you two to actually get together.
At first, you and Spencer found it uncomfortable and got awkward every time they made a joke about you two being together, but after some time, you guys started to join in a bit. Now, the irony of it all is, between all the flirty jokes, the way Spencer became so comfortable with you being clingy to him besides his germophobia and the way he cared so much about you… You fell in love with him.
Arriving at the bar, you spot your friends all sat at a booth and head over to them.
“Hey guys”
“Hi sweetie, you look gorgeous” Garcia says, giving you a kiss on the cheek
“Thanks darling, you look stunning too” You say, taking a seat between Spencer and Penelope.
You talk to your friends, occasionally making eye contact with Spencer, who has been blushing ever since you came into the bar. You had always found it cute how no matter how many dates he had, he still would get flustered around girls he found attractive.
You spent the night dancing and gossiping with Penelope and Emily. Later, the group was starting to leave when you felt a hand on the small of your back, when you turn around you see Spencer standing there smiling at you
“Hi Spence, wanna dance with me?” You say, putting your hands around his neck and smiling back, voice coming out a bit dragged
“Not now darling” He said, softly laughing at the way you were, not that usually you were super uptight but at this moment you seemed so relaxed and carefree he loved seeing you like that “Did you drive here?”
“Nop, but don't worry, I'll take a cab back home”
“There's no way I'm letting you take a cab alone this late at night. C'mon, let's say goodbye to everyone and I'll take you home”
You roll your eyes at him, but the way he was being so protective over you made your heart flutter. You thought about contesting him, something about you being a “scary FBI agent” but you knew he was right and decided to just go with it.
You say your goodbyes to the rest of the group and go on with him to the parking lot. On the way to the car, Spencer is holding you by your waist to prevent you from stumbling, you're fully aware that you don't need it, you didn't even drink any alcohol, still you let him do it because there's no way you would ever shy away from being this close to him.
Back at your house, Spencer goes with you in the elevator, stopping at your apartment's door
“Alright, here you are, safe and sound” He says, smiling at you
“Thanks Spence” You reach out to give him a hug, and it lingers for more time than it normally does
All you wanted to do right now was kiss him.
“Do you want to come in? I'm not sleepy at all, and I would feel guilty with you driving alone this late at night, we can make some tea and talk maybe”
“I don't know, you really should rest…” Just as he began reclining your offer, you gave him the look you knew he would never say no to “Alright, I'll come in”
“What's going on in that pretty brain of yours Spence” You say, leaning on the counter top
You smile at him as you walk into your apartment, getting rid of your shoes and stepping into the kitchen. Spencer sits in one of the stools near the counter top and watches as you start to make tea. He watches every move you make, as if memorizing it, and maybe it's all in your head, and maybe you're just seeing what you want to see, but he has this look in his eyes, different from before.
“Not much” He smiles, and it feels like the world stops for a moment.
“Now that's a surprise, when have you ever not thought about everything all at once”
“You tend to have that effect on me” His gaze lingers on you, as if he was trying to tell you something. You can't help but feel a flutter in your stomach.
“What's that supposed to mean” You think you might know, but there's no way he reciprocates your feelings… right?
“You know exactly what i mean, there's no way you're that oblivious” He smirks at you, and god you think you might pass out right then and there.
“If I knew, I wouldn't be asking you, Spencer”
He laughs and stands up, getting close to you "Alright, what i mean is when i'm close to you, that's all I can think about… You. I've been in love with you for… honestly, I don't even know how long anymore” He takes a step closer, placing a hand on your waist and his voice drops to a whisper “I've made it pretty obvious too, maybe you took the ‘don't profile each other’ too serious. How did you not notice?”
You're shocked, you can't even process your thoughts right now. Your best friend, whom you've been in love with for years, just confessed to you. You did notice his change in behavior towards you, you just didn't believe he could ever be in love with you
“I noticed you treated me different, but I thought it was just…” You lose your words when he reaches out and cups your jaw, you look into his eyes, and you can see the love in them, and it makes you feel something inside.
“Can I kiss you?” He asks, and all you can do is take a deep breath and lean into his hand, feeling your heart flutter. You give him a small nod and close your eyes as he gently presses his lips against yours, and at that moment, you know that this is real.
He gently pulls you into his arms and kisses you on the forehead as he whispers “I love you”
“I love you more” You say, looking up, smiling at him.
I take time with the ones I choose | Spencer Reid x Reader
In which reader is jealous of Spencer after he kissed Lila on the pool
fluff, with a hint of angst but not really
Content: Jealousy, the tiniest bit of pet names, light swearing, munch & flirty Spencer bc we all know he can be that if he wants to <3
---------
You were finally back at the BAU, replaying details of this night as you anxiously worked on your paperwork, the whole team besides Spencer had gone already, and you cannot wait to get back home.
The team had finally caught the unsub that was stalking the actress Lila Archer. The stalker had showed up at the house Lila and Spencer were, which was supposed to be a safe house, but she somehow found where they were. You had stayed back at the precinct and, when you got back to the house they were at, you found out through Elle and the large amount of photos the stalker had taken that they had kissed, in her pool. Your heart dropped when you saw them, and you had become quieter since then.
You were jealous, there was no denying of it. But it was not just unfounded jealousy. You and Spencer had been friends since you joined the team and you two had always flirted with each other jokingly in the beginning but, with time, it started to feel like it was only a matter of time and taking the initiative before you two got together. Or so you thought.
What saddened you, wasn't entirely on the fact he had kissed her, but how fast it was. You had accepted the "slow burn" with him, years of back and forth flirting that you could swear was going somewhere. But now, when in the matter of in less of a day, he already kissed a girl he had just met? The only resolution you could find was that he might just not be into you.
"Hey, are you feeling ok?" Spencer says, standing next to your desk, his voice suddenly pushing you out of your thoughts.
"Hi, yeah I'm great, just tired" You say, giving him a small smile and trying your best to sound convincing
"I know you're lying, I'm a profiler and, your best friend for 5 years"
"Yeah, maybe that's the fucking problem" You lash at him, words coming out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. The instant regret hits you
"What? What do you mean by the problem" He says, his face with an expression mixed between confused and worried about you
You take a deep breath before answering, trying to decide between making up a stupid excuse to get out of this conversation or finally telling him the whole truth. You decide to go for the latter.
"You know what, for a genius you're really oblivious sometimes, or maybe all those pet names you call me, and the hugs and the late nights at your house watching movies were all platonic and I got it all wrong. You know what, forget it, it's not your fault, I'm the one who's stupid for thinking something was going on. Sorry"
"Oh my god, I can't believe that you are jealous" He says, smiling now
"Yes, of course I'm jealous! Maybe after years of flirting with me, and not doing anything else I thought 'oh, maybe it takes him sometime to get there!' but then, you decided to kiss a girl you met a few hours before." You say, not wanting to overreact, but god, the fact he's so clueless about that just angers you.
"Oh honey, I had no idea you felt like this" He says, getting closer to you and placing a hand on your waist
"See, this is exactly the problem! You act like this" You say gesticulating between the two of you, "What the hell are we? I need to know, I can't keep acting like I'm fine with just being friends and I certainly can't keep seeing you kissing other girls, as dumb as it sounds "
"Remember that time a cop was flirting with you and I accidentally dropped coffee on him?"
"Yeah, what about it"
"It wasn't an accident, I just hated seeing you laugh at his stupid jokes. My point is, of course I feel the same towards you, I have to really force myself to not go ranting at every cop and detective that thinks they're good enough for you"
Hearing him say that, loud and clear, made your heart flutter, but still did not get why it took you freaking out for him to say something.
"Then, why have you never even asked me out"
"I don't know, I was just taking my time with you… with us. I really do care for you, I guess I was just making sure we did things right"
"I hate you, Spencer. You don't even let me get angry at you before you come in with a totally reasonable response. That's just no fun" You look up, jokingly rolling your eyes at him, pretending to be annoyed.
"Oh, I'm sorry. Should I remove my confession to you right now?"
"Don't you dare do that" You say, closing the space between you two and kissing him. He holds you closer, wrapping his arms around you and deepening the kiss, he smiles against your lips, wrapping his arms around you to pull you closer. You both stay in that position for a few moments, enjoying the moment. You pull away, looking into his eyes.
"So… Can I take you to dinner this Sunday?" He says, breaking the silence between you two
"I really thought you would never ask" Both of you laughing as he pulls you into another kiss
Am I allowed to cry? pt. 1 | Spencer Reid x Reader
In which you're in love with Spence, but never told him.
angst! (but don't worry, part two will be fluff)
warnings: Some light swearing and that's it i think (??)
content: Mutual pining (although spencer's side isn't really shown in this part)
a/n: I've been writing this one for 2 weeks and even deleted it once, but finally got to it and finished this!! Hope you guys like it <3
You had joined the BAU only 2 years after Spencer, and you two quickly became friends and only grew closer with time. Now, 5 years after meeting, you two we’re best friends, joined at the hip. Spencer was the greatest friend you could have, understanding and loving. Maybe that’s why your stupid brain decided to complicate things, at some point you started to see Spencer in a different light.
One day, when you were having the worst cramps ever during a case, Spencer went out of the precinct the team was at, when he came back he had bought you chocolates and heating pads to help with the pain. You felt like you could cry, and after he gave you one of his beautiful smiles, you realized.
Oh fuck… I'm in love with Spencer Reid.
That day, you also swore you would never tell him, there’s no way he felt the same, and you would not ruin the perfect friendship you both had.
What you seemed to forget about was that, at some point, Spencer was going to get a date, a girlfriend or whatever, and you didn’t even stop to think how you would feel when that day arrived.
Well... You don’t need to imagine it anymore, because it finally happened. The day before, Spencer had told you how he finally gathered the courage to ask a girl that he’d been on a few dates to be his girlfriend. Your heart sank when he delivered the news to you, though you did your best to seem enthusiastic for him.
“Really, spence, that’s great. I'm super happy for you!” You told him, before quickly excusing yourself to the bathroom.
You felt so dumb, you knew Spencer was not in love with you, you thought you had accepted that, so why the fuck are you feeling like the floor has been taken off your feet every time you think about him loving someone that isn’t you? God, you might be going crazy.
You knew you wouldn't be able to keep your "omg I'm so happy for you!" facade for long. Your genius solution was to avoid him, only for some time, while you dealt with your feelings.
You decided to talk with the only person that knew about your feelings besides you, Penelope.
You open the door to her office, “Pen, help me. I’m so stupid, my brain is broken or something”
Penelope turns around on her chair, pulling another one for you to sit
“Oh no honey, whatever it is you're not stupid, now, what’s happening?”
“Spence has a date… God, I’m 27 years old, why the fuck do I care about this”
“Ohh you’re in love, baby. Of course, you’re going to feel bad, that’s normal. Trust me, I’ve been there.”
“Maybe… It doesn't matter anyway. I'm going to avoid him for this week, process all this shit and then everything will be back to normal” You force a smile, that was meant to pass a positivity you didn't even really feel, but it just made Penelope feel bad for you.
“Maybe don’t do that. You know Spencer is going to notice, it’s best if you talk to him.” She says, repeating an advice she has lost count how many times she’s given you. Penelope has always been sure Spencer was into you, and always encouraged you to confess. Needless to say, you never heard her advice.
“No, I can't. I would ruin our friendship, he would hate me. And, it would be so unfair of me, I mean… I only confess now that he has a chance with someone?” You take a deep breath, and get up from the chair “Thanks for the chat pen, love you” You say, placing a kiss on her cheek and leaving her office.
You really did appreciate her advice, but there’s no way you would confess to Spencer, not only would it seem petty, but you were deadly afraid to ruin your friendship… not that avoiding him was doing any good, but fuck that you’re not in the mood to be rational right now.
You head to your desk, avoiding eye contact with Spencer and just focusing on your work when Hotch calls the team. You guys have a new case.
“Great” You mumble under your breath, even if being in the office would be hard to avoid Reid, having to be out on a case with him will make it impossible. That doesn't mean you're not going to try. "Im an adult and a professional, this shit should not get in the way of my work." You think to yourself as if it's a mantra to keep you focused.
You enter the room, taking a seat between Emily and Rossi, as Hotch and Penelope brief the team you can see in your peripheral vision how Spencer's gaze shift to you, making avoiding it somehow more difficult. You're used to giving him small smiles, being beside him and always being in contact with each other somehow, he even would be fine with letting you hug him beside his germophobia, so you're sure he already noticed how distant you were being.
"Alright, wheels up in 30, We'll get more details on the jet"
—
On the jet, hotch distributes the tasks, as always, he paired you up with Reid to do the geoprofiling.
After a couple of hours, you and the team arrive at the precinct. As the rest of the team goes out to the field, you and Reid stay back doing the reading, and geoprofiling. You only speak to him when it's something regarding the case. Luckily, after a day, you guys finally makes the arrest, and soon you are back on the jet.
As soon as you arrive back to the BAU office, you just pass by Garcia's office to give her a quick goodbye and head to the elevator, ready to go home, and finally process your feelings - or better yet, force yourself to get over Spencer.
If this was under normal circumstances, you and Reid would be standing together in front of the elevator discussing which food you two would order as you watched some weird indie movie. The memory of those times brings a sharp pain to your chest, how could you be so naive? Yes, you told yourself he was not interested, but deep down between all those moments you two shared you hoped one day he would see you as something more than just a friend.
"Hey, is everything alright? You seemed off today" Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice when Spencer stood beside you, his voice pulling you off your thoughts.
"I'm great spence, just have a headache"
"Are you sure? You know, lying to a profiler has a very small percentage of working"
"I'm sure, don't worry… So, is it today?" You ask, as you two step in the elevator and press the button to the garage level
"Yeah, I'm really nervous."
"That's normal, but it'll be fine, don't worry" The elevator gets to the floor your car is at, you hold the door open and turn to him "hey, be yourself ok? She'll be lucky to have you." You say, before shooting him a small smile and getting out the elevator.
As you walk towards your car, a few tears start streaming down your face, you've known you love him for a long time, and you now realize that you might never know what could have been between you two. Maybe Garcia was right, but now it's too late to say anything.
Why does she give a damn about me? | Spencer Reid x Reader
cutesy, cheesy fluff
In wich Spencer thinks reader is out of his league but she could not be more into him.
Content: Garcia is a queen as always, sunshine!reader
Warnings: Maybe some light lack of self steem from spence, but nothing crazy!!
He was used to it at this point. Being the weird kid in high school and college, Spencer never really expected anyone to be into him and, after being rejected a couple of times, he had practically closed himself off in that sense. But then, you came into the picture.
You are one of those girls that everyone seemed to gravitate toward, not only because of your beauty but because of your essence. You were genuinely kind, smart and good with people in a way he wished he was, maybe that’s why he was so drawn to you, you had all the qualities he wished he had and being close to you made him feel complete.
Needless to say that he was in love with you, it had started as an admiration and when he realized he was thinking about you all the time, but he was sure you would never be into guys like him, he was sure you’d never see him as more than friends.
–
You had joined the team a few years ago, you were excited to finally be doing what you really wanted when you joined the BAU, going out in the field and being on cases instead of just working a desk job all the time. When you first met the team, everyone seemed very welcoming but you felt yourself especially drawn to Spencer out of all people, at first he seemed distant but with time you noticed how sweet he was and how much he cared for everyone around him and god that man was so funny, you loved his weird science jokes and his magic tricks. How were you supposed to not fall in love with him? You asked yourself that question every time he brought you coffee in the morning or went on his rambles about some random thing.
After a particularly intense inquiry from a very drunk Garcia in one of the girls' nights she organized at her home, you told her your feelings for Reid and she made you swear you would act on it.
“Garcia, I'm not confessing. He's not into me like that, i’ll just ruin our friendship”
“Oh honey, he practically kisses the floor you walk in, he follows you around the office like a lost puppy and practically kills any officer that dares to be the tiniest bit mean to you. There’s no way he’s not into you, at least try pretty please” She says, doing puppy eyes at you. Garcia took her job as a cupid very seriously and was not going to let this be her first fail.
“Alright, i’ll try but if he ends up hating me you’ll have to bake me cookies everyday until i die” You say rolling your eyes and finishing your glass of wine.
“Ohhh i’ll be cooking cookies for you guys wedding!”
–
So, here you are holding his favorite order from the local coffee shop and gathering the courage to press the button to the elevator
“Hey are you fine?” A familiar voice calls you, when you turn around its spencer.. Great, guess you’ll have to do this right now
“Oh hi yeah, I was just um… meditating”
“Did you know meditanting has been proven to increase your memory and is also great for reducing anxiety. I really should start doing it, what method do you use?” Spencer says while pressing the button to the elevator
“Ummm breath in, breath out i think” You say, unsure how to respond
“That's actually one of the best ways as it oxygenates your brain and helps it work better, it can also help you feel more calm since deep breathing activates the parasympathetic nervous system that sends a signal to your brain to tell the anxious part that you're safe and don't need to use the fight, flight response” He says, doing the little smile and head nod thing he always does after info dumping.
You smile back at him, as you both enter the elevator and press the button to the BAU floor.
“I brought you something” You say, handing him the coffee shop bag
He opens it and smiles at you “I can’t believe you remembered my favorites, thank you so much” You love that smile so much, all you can think about is how perfect he is and how there’s no way you can continue on without dating this man.
“Actually, I need to tell you something spence… I was thinking, maybe we could go out together as like, a date or something” You say, already blushing from the embarrassment you felt and how scared you were that he did not reciprocate the feelings.
“Really? Of course i want, to be honest i’ve wanted to ask you to be honest but i thought you’d never see me like that”
“Are you kidding me spencer? I’ve had a crush on you since we first meet”
The elevator gets to the office, and you both walk in blushing and joking about how you two were so blind to each other's feelings. As you get in, garcia passes by you two stopping to stare
“There’s something happening here…” She says, pointing between you two and pressing her eyes together as if she’s profiling you two
“I asked him out”
“Oh my god finally, you see? I’m always right, I don’t even need to ask what he said, look at Reid, he’s glowing, ohh i’m so happy” She says, walking out to probably tell the news to everyone on the team.
a/n: This might end up being a two-part thing, but I'm not sure.
Warnings: There's some swearing and some very light lack of self-esteem if you squint. Early seasons spence! (love him with my whole heart)
It was supposed to be a good day. Your coffee didn't burn your tongue, the city was only half as annoying as usual and, even thought your job was to hunt monsters, going to the compound meant you got to see him. And oh, was it worth it.
You could not say the exact moment your crush on Reid started, you two had been friends since you joined the team and only got closer with time, but one day you realized what you felt was not exactly just friend love anymore. I mean, do friends generally feel weak on the knees every time their friend handcuffs an unsub? I don't think so.
The only person who knew about this crush of yours was Penelope, and she swore he felt the same, but you just didn't see it, and you would never confess your feelings to him. Your friendship was too good to risk something like that.
Now, as you entered the BAU office, you see Derek and a clearly embarrassed Reid chatting.
"Good morning, guys, why is Reid looking like he's about to run off to the hills?"
"Pretty boy here is just shy that I discovered that him and that girl from our last case out are officially dating" Morgan says, tapping Spencer on the shoulder
Oh.
Well, now your good day was ruined.
You felt your heart drop, the idea of Spencer dating someone that wasn't you, someone that looked so different from you, made you nauseous, which was such a dumb response from your body, it's not like you two had any chance at being together.
You were aware that they had been going out, but the fact that they are official now is just too real.
"Oh the actress? Really? That's great Spence" You smiled and congratulated him, trying your best to seem genuine, but inside you're aching. You wanted to feel happy for him, but you just couldn't. You felt a sense of envy and jealousy build up inside you. You knew he had found someone special, and it felt like you were being left behind.
-
If Reid was not a profiler, he would never notice the slight chance in your expression. The way your voice pitched a bit higher or the way your smile dropped a little bit, signs he knew, from studying your face and expressions for an embarrassingly long time, meant that something was bothering you. And, if he wasn't 100% sure that you only saw him as a friend, he would even think that you were… jealous?
No, that couldn't be right. There's no way the girl he's been in love with ever since she joined the team was feeling jealous of him. No way, you probably were just tired. He needed to get you out of his mind somehow.
-
You walk over to Penelope's office, being the only one you can confide your feelings. Tears start streaming down your cheeks as soon as you enter, remembering to close the door behind you, scared that someone from the team might pass by and see your state.
Hearing the noise, Penelope turns around on her chair, being met with the vision of you crying, mascara running down your eyes.
"Oh honey, you heard it? I'm sorry" She says, getting up and hugging you
"I'm being stupid, I'm being fucking stupid, oh my god. He's my best friend, I should be happy. What the fuck is wrong with me, I'm not allowed to cry about this"
"Don't say that, you're not stupid, you're in love, That's a normal response, you have to let it out."
"I don't think I'll ever get over him." You say, your sobs turning into a heavy crying, "I have no idea if I did the right thing, pen, and now I just have to live with that. I might have lost the love of my life"
"Darling, I know it hurts, but it'll pass. I'm here with you, ok?" Garcia says, trying to help you cope, but deep down knowing that it wasn't true.
"I hope you're right, thanks, pen." You give her a small smile and walk out. Keeping your head down, you go straight to the bathroom to try and take the "just cried my heart out" look out of your face.
—
Later, most of the team had already gone home, leaving only you and Spencer that were finishing the paperwork. If this was a normal day, you would now be sat next to him, both drinking coffee, laughing and helping each other. The memory of that brings back a sharp pain in your heart, and you decide that you really need to leave before you start crying again.
You're starting to gather your things as your wishes to pass by unnoticed are not granted when you hear Spencer's voice.
"Hey, are you ok? You seemed a bit off today"
"I just have a headache Spencer, I'm fine" You say, not wanting to make eye contact with him, knowing he would see right through your lie.
"You just called me Spencer, you only do that when you're mad at me. Stop lying, what's going on?"
"Fuck, It's nothing, leave me alone, go call your girlfriend or some shit" You really should not have said that, but just hearing his voice was making you feel angry and sad. Spencer is a genius, you know he would notice the obvious jealousy in your voice, and you really did not want to have that talk right now.
"Good night, Spencer" You say, getting up and leaving the office. You hear him say something, but you ignore and just get on the elevator, determined to forget about him.
Contents: Head over heels spence, pet names (honey, angel, darling...)
Warning: none!
a/n: title is a reference to "helpless" from Hamilton & there's a scene inspired by "the tortured poets department" (can u tell I love music?). This is my favorite fic I have ever written.
---
You and Spencer have been dating for 5 years now and, since last year, the team had begun asking the two of you - especially Reid - when were you guys going to “tie the knot”. You and Spencer had talked about it, both agreeing that you both did want to get married, but we’re not in a rush.
Now, you’re at Spencer's house getting ready for one of Rossi's famous dinners. When you look through the mirror, you see Spencer leaning against the door, watching you getting ready while he cuffs the sleeves of his black button-up shirt.
“You’re looking divine angel”
“Thank you honey” You say, turning to him “By the way, this is your last chance to kiss me, unless you also want to wear some red lipstick to Rossi’s”
He giggles, giving you a quick peck on the lips before leaving the bathroom to let you finish getting ready.
Later that night, you, Spencer and the rest of the team are all sitting at the dining table, talking and laughing. This is one of those few, but extremely special moments in which you guys forget all the horrors that happen at work and just are happy together.
You’re in an extremely exciting talk with Garcia about the latest fashion news, a topic that both of you really loved when you feel Spencer playing with your hands, something he usually did, so you did not pay much attention to it. But, at a point you felt him place the small ring he sometimes wore on your finger, specifically your left ring finger, the one you put wedding rings on. When you looked down at it, your heart almost stopped.
He leaned closer to whisper in your ear “It looks perfect on you” and then took it off, continuing to talk to Morgan about… Something. If you were to be honest, after that, you spaced out for a couple seconds, your heartbeat seemed so loud that it replaced all the other sounds around you.
—
2 months later, you’re remembering this moment as you get ready for a very suspicious dinner date with Spencer. Since what happened on Rossi's get together, you knew he was thinking about it and started your detective work to try and figure out when it might happen.
You had asked - no, begged Morgan and Penelope for any kind of clue. It's not that you wanted to know exactly when and where, you just needed a clue to know how to prepare yourself. After a while, you just gave up and decided to let it happen.
You became suspicious when Spencer asked Hotch for you both to have a day off, something you both rarely requested. He also bought you a Vivienne Westwood dress you had been eying for years now.
“Spencer Reid, you did not. Oh my god you're crazy” You said as you opened the box
“Did you like it?”
“Are you kidding? I love it, thank you so much” You say, leaning in to embrace him in a tight hug
“Maybe I can take you to dinner this Saturday, and you can wear it” He says between giggles because of how wide your smile was, oh how he loved pampering you.
“Sounds perfect honey”
Now, finally the day you had been so excited for. Could Spencer just have felt like giving you the dress? Yes, but for some reason you felt there was more to it. Maybe the way he spent the whole day trying to hide how nervous he is, the way he’s letting you take your sweet time getting ready, saying things like “don’t rush honey” or the mysterious call he received from Morgan earlier that day but you were sure something was going to happen.
You finish getting ready and get into the car with him, he’s showering you with compliments the whole way. When he stops the car something is off, this is not a restaurant, in the dark you can’t really make out where you are but it seems familiar.
He gets out of the car, going around and opening the door for you, helping you get out. He walks you to the entrance of the place and opens the door that you now have recognized to be the library you two loved and also the place we’re he finally asked you out on a date after years of secretly-not-so-secretly being in love with you. Only now, there was a small round table there, with lit candles and a table set for two.
The shock made you not realize that Spencer had now let go of your hand, as you look to your side, you're met with your boyfriend down on one knee and a small velvet box in his hand.
“Honey, I have loved you since I first laid eyes on you. You’ve been my best friend, the best thing that ever happened to me, you make all the crazy stuff we go through easier, because we’re goin through it together. There’s no one I would rather live life with than you, so will you marry me?”
“Spencer..” That’s the only thing you manage to say, shocked and feeling a kind of happiness you never experienced before. “Of course I will. Oh my god I love you so much” You say, pulling on his arm so he stands up and you kiss him deeply. Feeling an amount of love you never thought was possible.
Once you pull away, he places the delicate ring on your hand and kisses you again. And all you can think is how you can’t wait to spend the rest of your life with him.
I think i'll miss you forever | Spencer reid x Reader (Blurb)
Content: If the argument between Spencer and jj after emily's return was with reader. Angst
word-count: 244 words (really short one).
Warning: Mention of spencer relapsing (doesn't actualy happen)
----
You had lied to his face, comforted him when he cried for his dead friend and now, as the grand-ending to this shit show you might have ruined the best thing that ever happened to you - Spencer's friendship.
“What if I started taking dilaudid again? Would you have cared then?” Spencer said, heartbroken and cruel.
You hated yourself for lying to him but it had to be done and you’ll just have to live with the consequences.
“Spencer, that's not fair. You know i would, you know i care for you above anything else.” You say, almost crying but holding back your tears.
“Do i? Because i thought i knew you would never lie to me, i thought i knew one of my fucking bestfriends was dead but aparently i was wrong. I honestly don’t think i know anything right now.” He says, trying really hard not to scream at you, his anger making him feverish. He was clearly heartbroken and you didn't know what to do.
“I’m so sorry Spencer, I wish I didn't get involved but they needed my help with the documents, i wish I had not lied to you but I had to. All I can do is say i’m sorry”
“Well, maybe sorry is not enough this time.’ He says, storming out of the room.
As soon as he exited you started sobbing, you regret everything and you’re terrified that Spencer might never forgive you after this.
