Dr. Derek Merek was a sick, sick man.
Literally and figuratively. Heād come into the office this morning with a slight fever and what heād described as āa tickle in his throat.ā By eleven heād progressed to a racking cough and chills. Iād tried to convince him that he was making a bigger deal out of it than it actually was because he had a deception study date this afternoon and he wanted me to go in his place.
I had done my fair share of deception study dates in the beginning of our research. We had both decided that it was best for the data I did not continue. The fact that Dr. Merek had asked me to go in his place was actually a very good indicator that he was quite ill, but I still resented him for it. He should be taking vitamins and eating kale. He has children after all, he should be taking better care of himself. Ā
But that is how I ended up outside a cafe that could only be described as ātrendyā with a FindURPartner.com profile for Marie Harris open on my phone.
She fit the profile for the study precisely. Early thirties, an award-winning journalist, never married, but one serious relationship that had ended some time ago. She liked cooking, Audrey Hepburn movies, and spending time with her friends. I had seen literally hundreds of profiles exactly like hers. I had been on ten of these ādatesā and Iād read dozens of sets of notes from Dr. Merekās ādatesā with women like her. I knew what to expect from this encounter:
1. Confusion. I did not look like Dr. Merek. He was taller than me and had a beard. His eyes were gray and mine were brown.
2. Either pleasure or disappointment. Many of the women who were expecting Dr. Merek were pleasantly surprised by my appearance. I was younger and fitter than he was and women were generally pleased about this. But many wanted the tweed jacket and beard and didnāt let go of that expectation just because I had bigger biceps.
3. We would engage in conversation. It would be awkward and stilted, as was expected from a first meeting.
4. I would ask her my questions and she would be confused, but amicable because people are generally polite and will choose the path of least resistance when they encounter something out of the ordinary.
5. I would inform her of the study. She would be confused and maybe a little upset. She would eventually sign my consent form and Iād be home before 5:00PM on weeknight, which was unusual for me, but not unpleasant. Iād probably be able to go on a run with my neighbor for the first time in a month.
I made my way inside and found her immediately. She was sitting alone in the middle of the cafe and seemed to be engrossed in the book on her lap. They were always reading a book, even the ones who made no mention of enjoying reading on their FindURPartner profile. I postulated that they thought it made them seem interesting. Dr. Merek said it was because of a scene in the movie āYouāve Got Mail.ā Having never seen that movie, I stuck with my hypothesis. Ā Ā
It wasnāt part of our research, but Dr. Merek had started keeping track of the most common books that were brought to these dates. Books by Jane Austen or Charlotte Bronte were the top five, but Zora Neale Hurston and Maya Angelou had both recently showed up multiple times. Occasionally itād be a magazine like the Harvard Business Review or Psychology Today, but Dr. Merek didnāt track those as thoroughly, which I thought was pointless. He said it was just for fun and I knew that heād appreciate the data point, so I was looking at Marieās book and not her face when I approached her.
