Reign Of Zaius

1) The official tumblr of Brooklyn's top stoner metal quartet 2) The Internet's finest purveyor of Sci-Fi nonsense, metal musings, and, of course, DAMN DIRTY APES!

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Those crafty Aussies. Anyone buying this expecting to eat earbuds is in for an even worse-tasting surprise. https://www.instagram.com/p/B5BfSS2pIf7/?igshid=6oyp3n5foua3

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Oh goodie. We've moved on to hypothetical scenario cookies. Social progress in action. https://www.instagram.com/p/B4JcndWp0bi/?igshid=199us0iomr4ec

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Rocking out on Halloween! See you at Lucky 13! (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/B38jnExJQmr/?igshid=1eowseib0989a

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Happy Beard-iversary! https://www.instagram.com/p/B3V5XyXpIEJ/?igshid=k1dbtnavpp5m

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#WhiteGuysPickingBoogersOnTheTrain https://www.instagram.com/p/B27dkRmptDx/?igshid=1576miay825l

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I mean, I know what all these things are, but I cannot put them all together in a coherent story. https://www.instagram.com/p/B2pP1hNpzg_/?igshid=bpm8inco5qnf

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Good times ahead with Eternal Black, Vessel of Light, & Cortez! #BrooklynMetal (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/B2lJvq3polm/?igshid=84ycnvn598vh

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Not a Photoshop, not "found on the internet," just barreling towards me right now. Not sure if I should prepare to leap aside or check my pockets for fare. (at Queens, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/B17V0YKJssv/?igshid=189nk23qnekrl

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Normally I'd make a joke about drunkenness, but someone took the trouble to add an extension cord and they must be recognized for going the extra mile. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1R8Qjlp3Fv/?igshid=1p8sv0z45k78i

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Evolution. https://www.instagram.com/p/B1ElkI2JQnb/?igshid=1cejtp1feqb70

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"We're putting a lot of money into this book. Let's make sure the cover pops. Thompson! Take those pictures of poor kids eating sandwiches and photoshop in some harmonicas!" https://www.instagram.com/p/B0MHAZMJa34/?igshid=1lvql0je64o8v

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First gig for CLOTHESLINE 6/22/19 (at Tompkins Square Park) https://www.instagram.com/p/B0AoFZ1pFxN/?igshid=1jb3lbhzjckd9

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"We joined the Ape Army and you should too!" https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz4mxq6JU0E/?igshid=q0aadxigle3s

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Koopa evolutionary chart (at Headroom Bar & Social) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bz4mHxRJ4jI/?igshid=iigzuc6df5c1

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Friday July 12th at Headroom Reign of Zaius leads the #ApeRockRevolution through Jersey City on the march towards Primate Equality (at Brooklyn, New York) https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzj8sBKnRDx/?igshid=1e652oq6ndzqp

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I'm digging classic Jeopardy on Netflix, but boy, the producers and I have vastly different ideas on what constitutes a glass bottom boat ride. https://www.instagram.com/p/BzcIebrHKGX/?igshid=fq24i75b7tii

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Poll: Which of these toiletry spills looks most like a dong? (Please reply. If I get 100 or more responses I can sell the feedback to Steve Harvey.) https://www.instagram.com/p/BzXLu0EJORb/?igshid=w0tpnsdpr2h4