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Relationships With Selfishness

Have you ever had someone invite you out with him, only to watch him talk to himself, love himself, etc. You'd say no, but a lot of relationships are actually like that. People often seek relationships for nothing other than validation of themselves. Even though they think they are looking for someone to love. They are actually looking for someone to give them validation. Unfortunately, this is the way society teaches people. We are told that the person we are with should cater to us, while we are left off the hook. This leaves us with a bunch of people with the mindset of "what's in it for me." As a result, we have tons of relationships with both parties in it to receive something. Unfortunately, in order for one to receive something, someone has to give something. How can anyone receive anything if no one is giving anything? Take a look at the divorce rate and failed marriages. Also, take a look at all of the cheating going on. What is at the root of this? The people involved in the cheating typically say that their partner doesn't satisfy them anymore. This boils back down to selfishness. Also, with the divorce rate, there is selfishness involved in relationships that end in divorce in most cases. A lot of relationships end for basically the same reasons as there is unfaithfulness. There is also the issue of domestic violence and other forms of abuse which stem from selfishness. Sadly, this is our natural state. We are selfish beings. In order for any relationship to work, we must overcome that. Otherwise, we are pretty much left with failed relationships. The sad thing is that it takes two parties to make it work. Even if one party was selfless and the other was selfish, the relationship would still be in trouble.

The Ladies Man and the Attractive Woman

Do you ever wonder what it is that makes the ladies man and the attractive woman so popular? Of course, the answer is obvious. It is looks. However, it is not just the good looking person who will get all the great attention. Now, I can only speak form my experience. I have seen many different people who are well liked and popular. They did not all look like studs and super models. A lot of them were every day people. One thing that I have found that they have in common is that they are more giving. They are more concerned with others. This tends to attract people. The more you give value, the more people are going to want to be around you. While you do give back what you get, you don't want to give with the purpose to get something back. Somehow it backfires on you. Another thing they do is get involved in their community. I'm not necessarily talking about doing community service. They just talk to people that they meet. They take the time to listen to what other people have to say. In other words, they make people feel valued. People love to feel valued. If you make others feel valued, then you will in turn be valued. Yes, it is true that the better looking person is going to have an easier time attracting people. However, here's a couple of things to consider. The average person can become better looking if he or she put in the necessary work. Also, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Honest people are going to be attracted to different types of people.

The Truth About Rape

This one is for the people who were unfortunate to go through this. (Women and men). Rape is a really horrifying and disgusting thing to go through. The strange thing about it is that it is a violation of a sexual nature. Sex, which is supposed to be something pleasurable and fulfilling, becomes something that is damaging to the core. To make things worse, the victim is often blamed for it. She is accused of enticing the rapist in some way. Another thing is that people of all races sexes and ages get raped daily. It's a bad thing to turn around and tell the victim that he or she was too sexy, too cute, too irresistable, etc. At the same time, the rapist is let off the hook. It should be the other way around. Rape is a life changing event that many will never recover from. What a rape victim needs at this point would be the support of friends and family. He or she needs an outlet to be able to let all of the pain and shame and the suffering out. Another thing to understand is that rapist rape for a variety of reasons. It is not always going to be because they are just so horny or the victim is just too sexy. It is a flaw in the perpetrator himself. While there are a variety of reasons for this disgusting behavior, one thing that is common among all of these violations is selfishness. The rapist seeks to get something from that person. Unfortunately, he becomes successful if he commits that violation.

Dealing With Perverts

You've heard about them. You were probably mistaken for one. It's really easier to act like one than you think. However, if you are a man, you probably do not think you will ever deal with one. I didn't think I would have to deal with one, but he sneaked up on me, and I didn't figure it out until it is too late... ...No, I did not suffer THAT tragedy... yet. He's still tryin, unfortunately. When I say perverts, I do not mean gay people. I mean someone who has a real sick mind. Perverts come in many different shapes and sizes. In my experience with one, the only thing I can advise you if you happen to run across a pervert. RUN!!! Don't look back, don't even glance at him. If you can prevent him from stalking you, good. Otherwise, you are going to be in for years of aggravation.

Friend Zone is not that Bad

The friend zone is one of the most feared things that guys deal with. However, I can explain to you why the friend zone is not that bad. It really depends on how you are as a person. You can use the friend zone to actually get with other women... depending on why you are friend zoned. That hot woman that friend zoned you most likely has hot female friends that you can go out with. However, you have to work on not being so needy so that you will have a better chance of avoiding the friend zone. It is very important to work on your confidence. If this means getting in shape, then by all means get yourself in shape. Women look for men who are actually men. They don't want any overgrown babies. Women are generally smaller and weaker and they know it. They look for a man who is the stronger man that she needs. When you look at the friend zone as something you can handle, you will automatically become more confident. Also, it is important to keep in mind that you are very likely to meet someone who is even hotter than your "friend." When you look at the possibilities, you will feel a little more optimistic depending on the type of person you are.

Approaching is not that Bad

For some reason, a lot of guys seem to have this problem with approaching. The fact of the matter is that it is not that bad to approach. Unfortunately, a lot of us have the mentality that we will only go out with the hottest girl in the room. Nothing wrong with aiming high so to speak. However, it is also good to recognize other women in the area as well. If you recognize the others, it may make the object of your infatuation seem less significant. Then again, she might become more significant in your eyes. Anyway, get into the habit of approaching women. You never know. You might actually make her day. At the same time, there are some women that are actually get annoyed with someone approaching her. However, if you can dust it off and move on, then you will find that approaching will get easier as you go along. Don't put so much pressure on yourself to reach your goal on the initial approach. You should be more interested in getting to know people. Talk with various people and let things flow a bit. The most important thing to be is honest. If you are honest with people you deal with, they will likely let you know where you stand. Make sure you give off the vibe of someone who is secure in himself as opposed to someone who is needy.

Staring, but Not Approaching: How Women Feel

Are you the type of man that stares at women, but do not approach? If so, I have news for you. It is not going to work.For one thing, you have to think about how women feel when they come across someone that stares at her. One thing to understand is that women are also romantic people. As a matter of fact, they have a reputation as being more romantic and relationship minded than men (this is likely due to culture and societal expectations). I'll tell you a lot of women love men every bit as much as men love women. No when a woman comes across a man who stares at her (if she is single), she will feel a little frustrated if that is all he does. She may even wonder if you are actually a dangerous man with ill intentions. She may think you are a rapist. The least you can do is smile. This would ease her concerns. If she returns the smile, the ball's in your court. (Women usually initiate the smile) You don't even have to approach at this point, just a smile eases her concern for the day. Women do complain about men who stare and don't approach. They get turned off. For one thing, the single ones may feel a little let down. Ultimately, it works against the man as he gets written off as someone lacking social skills. Advice, don't just stare. It is not good to stare anyway. A good glance is all you need.

Pick Up Artists

http://www.carlosxuma.com/newsstand/how-to-be-a-pickup-artist/how-to-be-a-pickup-artist-without-being-a-creepy-dude/ Some people love them, many people hate them. You know them as pick up artists. There may be a huge diversity when it comes to them, but a lot of people think of pick up artists as those dudes who run around using lines and techniques. They often have videos that show case their successes (and often omits their failures). The common message among pick up artists seems to be that a man can get any girl that he wants, period. The actual facts may differ form that statement. Most men are not going to be found attractive by most women. Also, the fact that there are thirsty desperate boys running around trying to bed anything that has a pulse actually lowers the appeal. A man that is a little on the slovenly side is going to have it almost impossible if it depends on his looks. There are some pick up artists that have a more rational and elaborate explanation of "The Game." They are also more realistic in their approach. The truth is that I don't agree with a lot of the pick up artists. A lot of them are just good for getting the shy guy out of his shell. After that, a man is going to have to pick up some actual social skills if he is planning on actually getting anywhere with women. If a woman rejects you, move on. There are plenty more fish in the sea.

Dating Gurus

I personally do not blindly jump on the latest dating guru. There is one person who seems to have some pretty straight forward and very helpful advice, not just for dating and relationships, but for living in general. His name is Jad T. Jones. His words of wisdom are sure to change your life if you pay attention to them. The interesting thing is that I have come to a certain realization when it comes to relationships in general. That very same week that I came to this realization, I found Jad T. Jones, who pretty much states what I am thinking.

What Makes a Person Attractive

Image from Shutter Stock There are many different aspects to attraction. While it is true that physical attraction is a powerful form of attraction, it may not be as powerful as many people might believe. There are many other factors that can create or kill attraction. One common factor that influences attraction is habits. A person with healthier habits is more attractive than the other person. It doesn't matter how good looking the person is with the nasty habit. No one is going to want to be with anyone that they know is unhealthy. Another factor is your social behavior. If you have the social behavior of someone that is out going and actually involved with people, you are more likely going to find yourself in a relationship. If you keep to yourself, your chances are smaller. Of course, a man that takes pride in himself to take care of his appearance is going to have more opportunities to put his foot in the door. At the same time, his personality determines how he fairs after that. Otherwise, if you want to put your foot in that door, it is a lot simpler than what you make it out to be. The best way to get dates and other relationships is to actually care about others. If you care about others and you show that, then people will be more willing to give you the time of the day. If they sense that you are out to get something from them, then they would be a little reluctant to have anything to do with you.

Dating For Uglies

From Timothy Anderson Art One of the common complaints from single men often deals with the assumption that they can't get a date because they are ugly. While women do respond to appearances, they don't appear to be as visual as men do. (I'm pretty sure that men and women are actually equal when it comes to physical attraction, we shouldn't kid ourselves. Also, men can judge by personality) A lot of people who are "ugly" are not ugly, but probably overweight. If they took the time to build themselves up, they may find themselves rivaling the likes of Brad Pitt among others. It is basically the mindset that you have about yourself. It also influences the energy you give off which can attract or repel. Your real problem is that you are insecure. If you give off that insecure vibe, people are going to avoid you like the plague. You have to give off that assured and confident vibe so that women will be more receptive to you. Okay, there are people who have physical disabilities that can make it harder for them to get dates or a relationship, but the fact is that the average man should have little problem getting into a relationship with a woman. Unfortunately, we have allowed ourselves to get indoctrinated with the confusing messages of society. We have to get rid of those messages and take our lives. As we do it, women will flock to us, almost regardless.

Reasons You Can't Find a Date

Image from Can't Get a Date A lot of men seem to be unable to find a date. I hear and read a lot of complaints about people who are spending another friday and saturday night alone. Here are some common pitfalls that can keep you in your solitary state. 1. You are not out going Face it, if you always keep to yourself, you are going to have a much harder time attracting women. Take the time to go out of your way to meet someone, instead of expecting them to go out of the way for you. The worst you are generally going to get is a rejection. The more you go out there and meet people, the better your chances for actually having a date. 2. You Have no Appeal. This is for the guys that are going out there, but are getting nothing but rejections (which is rather odd). If this is you, then you need to take an honest look at yourself, or find someone you can trust to evaluate you. Find out everything that is wrong with you and put in some effort towards fixing those problems. In many cases, just the fact that you are working on yourself and improving can attract women. 3. You'd Reject Yourself If many of us were honest with ourselves, we'd admit that we would reject ourselves if we were someone else. You'd be a fool to expect to be able to pull that super model when you are running with that bear gut and double chin. Okay, some people can pull it off better than others, but if it bothers you, then believe me, it bothers her too. Do whatever you can to take care of whatever problem that you believe is holding you down. A lot of it boils down to confidence. Women respond to the energy that you give off. If you give off the energy of someone that is at the mercy of this world, she is not going to want to be around you. However, if you can manage to feel like you are actually someone that is worth while and going places (it works better when you actually are going places), then you will have an easier time attracting women.

The Dreaded Four Worded Phrase

From Rofl Planet Not every man hears this, but an overwhelming amount of men do. This dreaded phrase that seems to really wreak havoc on a guy. I'm talking about the words that women say. "Let's Just be Friends." I hear this complaint all the time from guys. The top off of the complaint is that she goes after the one who treats her like crap. Often known as the "jerk." Half of the time, what you call treating like crap is basically the man having a back bone. But then there is the part where the woman whines about her boyfriend and how much of a "jerk" he is being. At this point, you have become the emotional tampon. Of course, if you are looking for a way to avoid this, it is simple. Grow a backbone. Do not let anyone walk all over you. Stand your ground, and you will be more likely to avoid this talk. There are ways to avoid the friend zone. The obvious nutshell way of saying this is to avoid doing things that get you in the friend zone in the first place. To be more specific, do not do things like shower her with so much attention. Being smothered is not a good feeling. Do not whine so much. Make her feel like she is dating a man and not one of her girlfriends. You'll be less likely to get friend zoned.

Insecurity

Image from http://justdme.wordpress.com/ If there is one thing that is a killer of life's enjoyment, it is insecurity. Insecurity is one thing that will interfere with your relationships. One interesting thing is that this phenomenon is somewhat misunderstood. Often times, the term "insecure" is used interchangably with the phrase "Low self esteem." However, there is a fundamental difference. The difference is that while low self esteem is simply a low regard for yourself, insecurity is a sense of not knowing where you stand. Even people with high self esteem can be insecure. It is just that there is a shaky foundation for one's own beliefs. The insecure person does not know where he stands. There are ways to reduce your insecurities. One way is to get help in counseling. An effective way to fight insecurity is by setting goals for improvement. Find out what means the most for you and take steps towards getting it. However, it has to be something other than romance. A better idea is to find something about yourself that you would want to improve. As you improve yourself, your insecurity will disappear. You will also become more attractive to people in general.

When The Feeling is Mutual

Image from Scientific American A lot of us always deal with these situations when we have a crush on a woman, and yet, we don't know if she feels the same. I myself have had times when I was attracted to a woman and found out that she was at least as attracted to me as I was to her. (I don't know why, or what she saw in me, but umm... hooray?) It is actually kinda intimidating for me. But this is probably one of the best chances a man could get. This is like the "yes" that comes before the question. So at this point, it is best to just skip past the "does she" mindset and think more about where to take your first date.

What Not to say to a Woman

It is much easier for people to say what shouldn't be said. Here is a list of things that would ruin your chances... "They are after me!!! They are out to get me!!!" "I'm so ugly!!! (boo hoo) "Are you ready for Jehovah's return." "Any corny pick up line." "Get to Dah Choppah!!!" "Is it secret? Is it Safe?" "Yeah, I'm a millionaire." "The Ladies don't like me Cuz I'm short." "This (pant) right here (pant) is my (pant) pretty boy swag!" "I hate gays" "Save the Whales." "Bitch!!! Where's my money?!! "I've been abducted..." "I know I will get laid... cuz I'm stronger than you..."

What to Say to a Woman

Below is a list of things that you can say to a woman. "Hello, my name is... What is your name?" "Nice to meet you." "What is your favorite activity?" "What kind of work do you do?" "Do you Enjoy your work?" "Are you originally from here?" When closing, depending on the chemistry... I enjoyed talking to you, why don't you give me your number and we can talk later. (Delivery is important)

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