I'm Not Afraid to Die Anymore

Jodie Holmes It made me the person i am today A freak, a mistake, someone to hate { - Independent RP Blog from Jodie Holmes from Beyond: Two Souls game - } Face claim: Ellen Page CHECK THE RULES PAGE BEFORE RPING #relinqux

[leechinglight-deactivated201608]

Firstly, I’d like to thank everyone for getting me this far! This blog has been around for about 5 months (I think???) and I honestly never though that there would be 103of you guys!

Prime Conduits - aka my closest friends on here

kxrat - Sofy! You’ve been here from the start and really helped me get Sarah going! We’ve had plenty of fun planning what’s going to happen between these two, hell, we’re real suckers for torturing Sarah, aren’t we? I really look up to you, you’re hilarious and a great friend! Keep it up! 

defixntdevxl / canisxcurious  - Ziggy, where do I begin? You have been a brilliant friend on here and we’ve sure as hell had a lot of fun with our muses and I hope we get to continue to do so in the future! We actually met on my old account (ew) and we’ve been having a blast since then. I know you’ve been having a tough time but I adore you and you’re a fantastic friend, don’t forget that!

short-circuited-outlaw - Alright, you dweeb, we’ve had some shocking times on Skype between these two asses, haven’t we? I adore you’re Cole, even if he is an ass at times, and you’re super nice! I know we’re gonna have more shenanigans between them in the future!

eideticker - I know you probably won’t see this since you’ve been having laptop problems but I’ve actually known you since the beginning of my first account. You’re an incredible writer and you’re Will is really sweet!

Suspects - Radical people that I really want to interact with, have interacted with and are damn awesome

akomishnolonger akomish-born armedwithmxtal bluelxghtning bioterrorisms burnemopen carminecrown devxl evohound eyesandearsoftheorder gasmxsk heisdeadtotheworld hxroicus infamousismymiddlename junglekxng kyratxrebel metalbarnes officialdup protectorofconduits paperconduit rakyatxwarrior sickeyes thecrankysheriff 

Civilians - Everyone else that has been awesome enough to follow me! (not in alphabetical order since i’m lazy)((you’ll be here even if i haven’t followed you back))

pxndyssixn knightofslatefalls kaijusplotch wall-streets-finest bannerxman brent-walker rjdarlenankb dxntstartfights let-us-drag-you-to-hell pseudonymdias hiemexsicarius kantreven superxcop goodguydelsin judasxkiss akomishcop princepsignis awful-lot-of-runningto-do ashesmade backinred smokexstack emxvita ohspyro neveraninnocent idontdomercy virulent-end cytotoxics destruxitsole hellfireswarm conduitism mxcgrath iinfiinity raininghellfire relinqux concretexqueen abaddonthedarkone cometdrop infamous-smoker soundxwaves eidetic187 tvengeanz pxisonx network-robin riseinflames glitchwings xamelixrate nottxfuria mxrcxnary umbrasaga lxsergirl chasingthelxght vaasaisinsane pixl-sw0rd bloodsuckingleeches oopsriight carminecrown energy-bomb-rapunzel glxtcheddruggie neonsnipper weaponxweirdo power-xf-imagination i-am-he-who-dwells pxperdoves torexdor brutebritbeaut vitixted justrxde soundwaves-and-screams theoutcasthunter texancreep theduphacker 

[bringaladderx]

Here we are again...What the H-E-double hockey stick are you doing here. August 2014 Follow Forever.

Yowzah! I can’t believe there is 500 of you.  How in the world do you find me?  I’m started to believe the only explanation is that you guys are crazy and that’s why you stayed.  That’s why I decided to make a crazy banner thingy.  My editing skills are getting so much better, right?  But anyways, I just want to do some special mentions first and then the rest of the follow forever!  I love all you guys.

People who is smart, who is kind, and who is important.

silver-argents/chloewatchtowersullivan= Wow, uhm, where do I begin? bc you’re so awesome I don’t know what to do.  We have tons of threads and I seriously would not doubt if one day we get to 50 threads.  Court, you are so awesome and talking on Kik. with you is awesome.

beautifxlbanshee - Ellie is coolio, dawgs.  We talk about Teen Wolf, Supernatural, Guardians of the Galaxy and we usually talk in all caps bc that’s how we roll.  I’m really glad we started talking because you and Courtnee make this blog so much fun to be on.

alphadelameutedelycan/theprettiersourwolf/kitsuneauxyeuxdores = Eh, I guess you’re cool…  Just kidding, you are amazing.  I always like talking to you.  Tu es la pomme de mon yeux.  I hope I did that one right as well.  

prohevefilidevium/angeluscastiel - You are my rockstar, my only rockstar.  We follow eachother wherever we go.  We’re called brff and you are awesome.  Don’t stop being a rockstar, okay?  (sing that outloud wherever you may be).

austeruslupus = I really like our threads together.  You were one of the first Dereks that followed me and I just think you are really cool and nice.  You are awesome.  Awesome, you are.

badassbetaerica - yo, yo, yo.  I love you, ya know?  You are totally awesome and even though we haven’t talked in a while, I love talking to you.  I really like our threads too.  Especially the older Stiles and Erica one!

relinqux - Okay, I first found when I was looking through Jodie Holmes stuff and I fell in love with you by making a Jodie blog.  Jodie is awesome and so are you.  You two are complete badasses.  I love rping with you on kik.(which I got to reply too!  Sorry!) and you are just amazing.

ayrendium - Okay, so I just love you and talking to you in the tags is always fun.  I love your Castiel and you’re my favorite angel, mkay?(Don’t tell anyone else okay?  I don’t want to get in trouble.)

Okay so here are the people I say follow forever 5eva:

halerxiser, rougaroureyes mackenzibrooks, breakingrubyred, childlike-innocence, its-mama-stilinski, firstsilverarrow, whoyougonnamccall, coyoteunderneath, alphaintellect, derek-hale-the-sourwolf, coyotenotsougly, rockingrowingroot, motherfuckingrocketraccoon, vodkawithlime, isaacmcscarvelahey, isaacicametowinlahey, livinghercode, hotgirlscotty, wolfinthefreezer, justkirayukimura, nottobecrossed, ahunteruntilthedayidie, clear-as-abell secondbetaerica, canislupusstitem, lydia-the-emissary, notabetaanymore, thatthegooddieyoung, raisedbyravagers, plantostaythenight, youngsilverheart, undepredador, argentyougladimnotahunter, marmadukeyourecrazy, thenamesjasonstilinski, stilesthesarcasticstilinski

People who I admire from afar and/or just started/plotting a thread with(so you should really follow them):

sxsure, volxble, thebroodingbeta, thisxnofit, viixcn, dereksinferno, kingofpelvicsorcery, legendaryxutlaw, stardxrk, starxdouche, xsicariius, iamgrootx, thetruewolfpack, courageousalpha, dctah, heartofatruealpha, thegamoraofthegalaxy, photosynthxsis, oncallmccall, ravager-king, kreeguns-and-helmet, pxrrish, tenbxcks, hesinsatiable, coyoteinsane, ilickedtheswingset, beautifulbutdefiant, bootsareitalian, wewereoncenobody, sheriff-papa-stilinski, jacksonblueeyedbeta, ihavesentimentalvalues, wolfspirals, hasperformanceissues.  

You guys might be like, what the hell at the mention, but anyways…I put you on this list because I really like seeing your guy’s portrayal of the character on my dash.  You guys are awesome.  I just think you all are amazing, and sorry for the what the hell moment you probably had just a bit ago~

People who are in the v:bhnuthouse or plotting a verse with me(also follow these people):

silver-argents(x2), beautifxlbanshee(x2), badassbetaerica, justkirayukimura, hotgirlscotty, rougaroureyes, redeemedking, littlelionlahey, changemeback, ligolykos, lydia-the-emissary, notabetaanymore.

It is finished.  I just want to say that all you guys are awesome and that I love following you all and everyone following me is awesome as well.  Thank you for 500~!

[relinqux]

“Can you walk?”

"Yeah, sure. I-- guess i can." Jodie answered with a nod. She can walk, but still feeling a hell of a pain in her right leg.

[relinqux]

evanescence lyric starters { fallen album edition. }

"Say you're here and it's all over now."

"No one's here and I fall into myself."

"Don't turn away."

"Don't try to hide."

"Don't close your eyes."

"Don't turn out the light."

"I can stop the pain if I will it all away."

"I rise to meet the end."

"I love you and I'm not afraid."

"Can you hear me?"

"Can you feel me in your arms?"

"You pray your dreams will leave you here, but still you wake and know the truth."

"No one is there..."

"Has no one told you she's not breathing?"

"Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to."

"If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream."

"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken."

"Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide."

"Don't cry."

"Hello, I'm still here."

"You don't remember me but I remember you."

"I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you."

"But who can decide what they dream?"

"Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?"

"I knew you loved me then."

"I believe in you."

"I'll give up everything just to find you."

"I have to be with you to live, to breathe."

"You're taking over me."

"Don’t say I’m out of touch."

"Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming."

"I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more."

"Am I too lost to be saved?"

"Do you remember me?"

"Will you be on the other side or will you forget me?"

"I want to die!"

"I know you're still there."

"I can feel you pull me down."

"I'm so tired of being here."

"I wish that you would just leave."

"Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone."

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears."

"When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears."

"And I held your hand through all of these years."

"But you still have all of me."

"Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams."

"Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me."

"These wounds won't seem to heal."

"This pain is just too real."

"There's just too much that time cannot erase."

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone."

"But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along."

"Have you no shame? Don't you see me?"

"You know you've got everybody fooled."

"Without the mask, where will you hide?"

"Can't find yourself lost in your lie."

"I know the truth now."

"I know who you are."

"And I don't love you anymore."

"You don't know how you've betrayed me."

"You're not real and you can't save me."

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?"

"Wake me up inside."

"I can't wake up."

"Save me."

"Call my name and save me from the dark."

"Bid my blood to run, before I come undone."

"Save me from the nothing I've become."

"All this time I can't believe I couldn't see."

"Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me."

"I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems."

"Got to open my eyes to everything."

"Don't let me die here."

"There must be something more."

"Bring me to life."

"Now I will tell you what I've done for you."

"I'm going under."

[askmethething]

SEND ME A SENTENCE [INJURED]

[hehunts-deactivated20180227]

askmethething:

“You should see the other guy.”

“I fought them off singlehandedly, all fifteen of them!”

“Is that blood?”

“Do you have to walk around with tissues shoved up your nostrils?”

“Ouch. That is not a pretty face.”

“They must have knocked all the sense out of you.”

“How many brain cells are you down to now?”

“Is there anything you need?”

“I’m sore in places I didn’t even know existed.”

“How long was I out?”

“Why did you hit me?”

“I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”

“Look on the bright side. You’re alive, aren’t you?”

“Can you walk?”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Is it as bad as it looks?”

“I think I see a light…”

“You should have told me sooner.”

“I had him on the ropes!”

“Sit still and let me look after you.”

“I don’t need you to treat me like a baby.”

[jennieroleplays]

SEND MY MUSE A SENTENCE

"You’ve got to me kidding me."

"Get your ass in here now"

"What have I done now?"

"How old are you really?"

"I can’t believe you lied to me"

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"I can’t believe you lost him."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

"Please, don’t leave."

"I told you. I do give the best hugs."

"You so owe me."

"What’s a soulmate?"

"Would you kiss me in the rain?"

"Get off me."

"Leave me alone"

"What are you doing here?"

[bringaladderx]

Stiles didn’t blame the other for her reaction.  ”Well, to be honest, there has been more awkward conversations.” he rubbed the back of his neck.  He realized the new resident holding her arms and frowned.  ”We should probably check that out, Jodie.” he told her and took a few steps forwards.  

If the claws went in deep enough, it could have turned her.  That is if the werewolf was an alpha.  ”I can explain everything while we check it out.” he said, quickly giving a look to the others that they were not going to knock her out or something.  

What is the way you tell people thrust into the supernatural about the supernatural?  Most of the people they know in those situations didn’t have time to get the sit down and the talk besides his dad.  ”Same thing happened to us before.  It was quite interesting…”

[relinqux]

Jodie stared Stiles with a serious expression, as if to strike him at any time. And she could do it even if she were not scratched the arm. Then chose to ignore this and looked away, bitting her lips. "I'm fine. This is just a small scratch, it's nothing." Nothing compared to all the things that already happened to her. Or at least she thinks so.

She faced Stiles again when he approached. Then there's a explanation for that? Good. Jodie couldn't wait to know why a man that turned into a damn wolf tried to kill her. "Right. Uh--" With her good arm, Jodie took a lock of hair from her face and looked in the opposite direction. "My house is near here. We can go there. I live alone." She said and looked back at Stiles.

"Interesting? Then all of you guys were attacked by.....werewolves too?" That term seemed appropriate for the man who attacked her, even though Jodie almost gave a small laugh at the mention of the word. Werewolves couldn't exist right? Jodie was already the living proof in various supernatural shit that happened to her since she discovered the existence of Aiden when she was child. Even if she had something more supernatural things to discover, she wouldn't be surprised at all.

[bringaladderx]

Stiles watched the two before the shooter quickly turned and hit Jodie, running out as fast as they could.  Stiles finally realized that he just escaped his death and slid down against the wall.  ”I’m really starting to hate guns.” he murmured, running a hand through his hair.  He didn’t want to keep ending up as the person having the gun to their head. 

[relinqux]

Before Jodie could speak anything else, the person hit her face with the gun and ran. Jodie fell to the ground with her hand on her face and with the other hand holding the gun, pointed to the direction that the stranger fled. He had already fled, Jodie then lowered the gun and sat quietly. Even with the rapid breathing, she knew the worst was over. She could have laughed at that Stiles said, but did not. "Well, you are lucky to not have been hit by a gun or get shot." Because Jodie knew how is like to take a shot and is not a very pleasant experience. "Anyway, are you okay?"

[xonlymysteryworthsolvingx]

"Makin’ a soufflé! Would ya like to help me?"

[relinqux]

"Uh, sure. But why are you doing a soufflé this late?"

[askmethething]

SEND ME A SENTENCE [INJURED]

[hehunts-deactivated20180227]

askmethething:

“You should see the other guy.”

“I fought them off singlehandedly, all fifteen of them!”

“Is that blood?”

“Do you have to walk around with tissues shoved up your nostrils?”

“Ouch. That is not a pretty face.”

“They must have knocked all the sense out of you.”

“How many brain cells are you down to now?”

“Is there anything you need?”

“I’m sore in places I didn’t even know existed.”

“How long was I out?”

“Why did you hit me?”

“I didn’t mean to hit you that hard.”

“Look on the bright side. You’re alive, aren’t you?”

“Can you walk?”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Is it as bad as it looks?”

“I think I see a light…”

“You should have told me sooner.”

“I had him on the ropes!”

“Sit still and let me look after you.”

“I don’t need you to treat me like a baby.”

[sofia-sicilia-vargas-blog]

My character has had a rough day and lays their head on your character's shoulder/lap. Send me your muses reaction.

[relinqux]

"What are you doing?"

[jennieroleplays]

SEND MY MUSE A SENTENCE

"You’ve got to me kidding me."

"Get your ass in here now"

"What have I done now?"

"How old are you really?"

"I can’t believe you lied to me"

"Do you wanna build a snowman?"

"I can’t believe you lost him."

"I hate you."

"I love you."

"Please, don’t leave."

"I told you. I do give the best hugs."

"You so owe me."

"What’s a soulmate?"

"Would you kiss me in the rain?"

"Get off me."

"Leave me alone"

"What are you doing here?"

[inboxideas]

Send a ✺ for my muse's reaction to yours hitting mine out of anger.

[relinqux]

Energy fanned around her, then focused. A stirring of warmth that closed around her and then left her be. As much of an 'embrace' as Aiden could give. 'Jodie, Jodie. I missed you.'

A warm and familiar energy began to focus around her and giving a half smile, she looked around. For the first time, Jodie did not feel a certain fear or anger to feel that warm energy. On the contrary. She missed him, missed Aiden. And by the way, he also missed her. Sitting on the sand, she realized that energy was closer. Aiden was trying to do something, maybe a hug. But Jodie was not sure how she should embrace an energy, so she just smiled. "Hey, look who’s back! I missed you too!"

[relinqux]

"I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you, Jodie... I wasn't a good mother to you... I couldn't stop them from taking you away from me..."

Send me anons from people my muse has lost. Haunt them.

"M—Mom?" Jodie’s voice failed and she gulped. Hearing those words was like she had been stabbed in the chest. But she knew her mother could not do anything to stop them to take Jodie away, it was not her fault. Although she did not know the whole story, Jodie knew it was not her fault. "I’ts—It’s fine, mom. It’s not your fault. I know you did everything you could." Uttering these words that seemed more a whisper, some tears streamed down her cheeks.

[relinqux]

evanescence lyric starters { fallen album edition. }

"Say you're here and it's all over now."

"No one's here and I fall into myself."

"Don't turn away."

"Don't try to hide."

"Don't close your eyes."

"Don't turn out the light."

"I can stop the pain if I will it all away."

"I rise to meet the end."

"I love you and I'm not afraid."

"Can you hear me?"

"Can you feel me in your arms?"

"You pray your dreams will leave you here, but still you wake and know the truth."

"No one is there..."

"Has no one told you she's not breathing?"

"Hello, I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to."

"If I smile and don't believe, soon I know I'll wake from this dream."

"Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken."

"Hello, I'm the lie living for you so you can hide."

"Don't cry."

"Hello, I'm still here."

"You don't remember me but I remember you."

"I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you."

"But who can decide what they dream?"

"Have you forgotten all I know and all we had?"

"I knew you loved me then."

"I believe in you."

"I'll give up everything just to find you."

"I have to be with you to live, to breathe."

"You're taking over me."

"Don’t say I’m out of touch."

"Oh, how I long for the deep sleep dreaming."

"I tried to kill my pain, but only brought more."

"Am I too lost to be saved?"

"Do you remember me?"

"Will you be on the other side or will you forget me?"

"I want to die!"

"I know you're still there."

"I can feel you pull me down."

"I'm so tired of being here."

"I wish that you would just leave."

"Because your presence still lingers here and it won't leave me alone."

"When you cried, I'd wipe away all of your tears."

"When you'd scream, I'd fight away all of your fears."

"And I held your hand through all of these years."

"But you still have all of me."

"Your face—it haunts my once pleasant dreams."

"Your voice—it chased away all the sanity in me."

"These wounds won't seem to heal."

"This pain is just too real."

"There's just too much that time cannot erase."

"I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone."

"But though you're still with me, I've been alone all along."

"Have you no shame? Don't you see me?"

"You know you've got everybody fooled."

"Without the mask, where will you hide?"

"Can't find yourself lost in your lie."

"I know the truth now."

"I know who you are."

"And I don't love you anymore."

"You don't know how you've betrayed me."

"You're not real and you can't save me."

"How can you see into my eyes like open doors?"

"Wake me up inside."

"I can't wake up."

"Save me."

"Call my name and save me from the dark."

"Bid my blood to run, before I come undone."

"Save me from the nothing I've become."

"All this time I can't believe I couldn't see."

"Kept in the dark but you were there in front of me."

"I've been sleeping a thousand years it seems."

"Got to open my eyes to everything."

"Don't let me die here."

"There must be something more."

"Bring me to life."

"Now I will tell you what I've done for you."

"I'm going under."