milo | he/him

spend as much or as little time here as you like. this is a space for me to put things that don't go anywhere else. you don't need to find a home for them, but you are welcome to look, and to say as much or as little about them as you wish.

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

fucking adoring my current level of gender expression i.e. horrid teenage boy

messy-ass mullet, scruffy scraggledy poorly-shaved t-induced facial hair, smiths shirt, those fugly flannel boxers, and an ungodly amount of body hair. this is what happiness looks like and im not even fucking joking. i love this shit so much

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

here is my official submission for worst possible title you can give yourself in acnh

i mean jesus fucking christ why is fertiliser even an option

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

found this message i sent my friend in 2021 and um.

yeah no. still have not stopped thinking about it. three years later. good lord

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

norman takamori is simultaneously the worst fucking person ever and such a tragic story of like. a probably autistic man growing up in an oligarchical hellgalaxy with no other choice but to conform, and SO many options to stop doing that. god i have so many emotions about this awful fucking guy

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

it feels really fucking lonely being a queer man who's neurotic and terrified about sex.

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

'treat others how you want to be treated' is a good thing generally to remember but i think the other way around is equally important. 'treat yourself how you would want others to be treated' has been VITAL for me learning to not be mindlessly and constantly cruel to myself. highly recommend

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

i like to call this piece 'what am i, fucking catholic?' because today i had a real revelation about the way i view myself (i.e. that i basically believe atheistically in original sin but Only For Myself because i am Inherently Uniquely Bad And Evil. yes i was bullied as a child for obvious queerness and neurodivergency why do you ask) and realised i should just. not think like that. so i look forward to misusing university resources tomorrow when i print this out real big to go on my wall to look at and remind myself that i am not, in fact, fucking catholic.

also i have a real problem with using humour to cover up/replace earnestness in my life, and with my last two collages i tried to deliberately keep humour out of them so i HAD to be sincere. i think with this one i have struck a nice balance between the two, because it is sincere, but also it sounds more like my everyday tone because there is humour in there and the fact is i'm a funny guy for whom wit is the most comfortable form of expression. it's both earnest and humorous, and neither negates the other. i like that a lot, it feels genuine and true to me.

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

another collage i made. again probably not Good on a technical level, but i liked making it. it isn't quite about what it was about when i started making it - i knew it was going to involve some elements of what it ended up being about, but it took over the collage as i went, sort of by itself. kind of cool, that happened with my last one too, i like that they've both been processes. it feels like i'm learning more about myself and what i think and what i think about by doing this. i also just like looking at cool pictures and deciding i like them so much i want to do something with them. feels like i'm making connections to people and art and things by doing that

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

a collage i made, i'm new to making collages, maybe i'll keep doing it maybe i won't i don't know. it's not necessarily Good and certainly not Well-Made but i like it and i liked making it. it is about masculinity and gender for me. it can be about whatever you want it to be for you, or about nothing at all. i don't mind, i just made it

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

hit me like a dog, angel.

[stanza one is redacted]

hit me

like you are a priest,

and i am a simple man.

i could never read the bible, i don't know which commandment i break,

but i know i have broken it

and i want you to hit me.

[some of stanza three is redacted]

i want pain i understand

so i know when it's done

and i can come home and lay my chin in your hand

like a dog, angel.

[flowersandfashion]

I'm Your Man, Mitski /// “you said the lambs were ready,” come the slumberless to the land of nod, Traci Brimhall /// I WILL BE GOOD AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME, @thegirlhoodtheory /// 'the reciprocity of the attack dog and the hand that holds the short leash' (edited), @brutaliakhoa /// Moon Song, Phoebe Bridgers /// Still Life Based on Hunting (detail), c. 1665-1701, David De Koninck /// It Will Come Back, Hozier /// "you’ve always been more of a dog person," @tdaspoetry

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

i know i just reblogged from this account but i just saw this bigger post and it's so good

[irspoetry]

I WILL BE GOOD AS LONG AS YOU WANT ME, 1/28/24

image from wikimedia commons

[reluctantmosbyrelater]

this art reminds me a lot of a poem i wrote a little while ago. maybe i'll put it on here soon, once i've reworked it a bit. maybe i won't. maybe i'll just put a bit of it. i don't have to decide that now. this is my bookshelf and i'm going to put what i want on it. but this art is pretty cool. i like it a lot