[TRANS] Amber: The Celebrity, February 2016
Q: We shot photos today in your natural state without any make-up. How was it?
Amber: It was so much fun. I really like the natural look. I usually wear sweats like this and don’t wear any makeup. Honestly, wearing makeup is a bit annoying. Is it because I’m getting older? (laughs)
Q: You just turned barely 25, you already feel old?
A: I do feel it a bit now. Even yesterday, I spent 3 hours building Lego with a friend, and now my back hurts so much. But things like Legos and puzzles are perfect for relieving stress. I continue playing with things I enjoyed as a kid. I ride my skateboard around and also sometimes draw.
Q: What kind of drawings do you draw?
A: I’m drawing things you cannot know. I tend to draw when my mind gets complicated, so a fourth of my drawings are just full of a bunch of random quadrilaterals.
Q: You recently won the ‘Best Female Rookie’ award at the 2015 MBC Entertainment Awards. Is there anything you forgot to say during your speech?
A: I was so nervous then that I don’t even really remember what I said. Yoo Jaesuk was chanting “the members! The members!” at me, so I was remembered to thank the members. There are so many friends and people from my company that I am thankful for. If I want to name every single one, this entire magazine would just be filled with my Thanks To. To those I forgot to mention, I’m planning on giving them a gift or a hug.
Q: You have a lot of friends. Is there a secret to making so many friends?
A: I used to be very shy. But I know how awkward that can get so I started changing my attitude. There are some people who can’t even speak because of how awkward it gets, and during those times, you just have to be the first to say, “Talk to me. I’m good!” and say “How are you? Nice to meet you. Fine!” If there’s a similar trait between all of my friends, it’s that they’re all honest people. They don’t put up a charade, and they don’t have anything to hide.
Q: A lot of stuff happened last year. f(x) released their 4th album, you released a solo album, and you did a lot of variety shows. What went through your mind as the year ended?
A: It was my busiest year, so I really enjoyed it. Whether it’s singing, or going on variety shows, if I’m able to make people happy, that’s fun for me. Of course, I realize that I won’t be able to make every single person in the world happy. But I can bring joy to someone. Whether it’s 5 people or just 1 person.
Last Christmas, Sean and I moved coal. No, I wasn’t trying to become the ‘Queen of Coal’ (laughs), but it was so we could help others. When I was younger, even if I wanted to help others, I didn’t know how to do that. When I get more stable and settled in, I want to be able to help more people.
Q: If you were in another career field, would you have these same thoughts?
A: Yeah. But it’s just that I didn’t know that my goal was going to get this ambitious. I want to help those around me, almost like how a scientist would look for ways to protect the environment. Isn’t helping others the most joyful thing in the world? It’s not fun to just be receiving all the time.
Q: Was there something in particular that made you take this belief?
A: When I volunteered in America, I realized how fortunate I was. Of course, there are hardships I have to face with this job I have, and there are times I don’t do too well. But the bad never outweighs the good. I never have to worry about not being able to eat. I think the fact that I get to decide what I want to eat is a luxury. I want to help those who aren’t as lucky as I have been. I think we’re all here for only one reason. It’s to help each other. There isn’t any other reason.
Q: What do you think about kids looking to you for a role model?
A: I definitely feel good, but it’s still burdensome for me. There are a lot of areas in which I lack, and I still have so much left to learn. But as long as they’re not looking at me thinking, “I want to be perfect like Amber,” I think it’s fine. If they’re looking at me thinking, “I want to be as humane as Amber,” then I am very grateful for that. I still make a lot of mistakes, but I’m trying to get better and better. There have been times where it’s gotten tough, but I’ve used those experiences to determine what fits me and what doesn’t. I’d like it if they thought about life the same way I do.
Q: Do you feel you’re the same since debut?
A: I am 100% a different person. I was just talking about this with some friends. I told my friends that no one ever changes 100% for the better. Humans aren’t perfect. But if you look at the bigger picture, I think I changed for better. As I got older, I’ve become more mature. I realized in which direction I want my career to go, I accepted what I needed to give up. Back then, I had a bit of a phobia of speaking. I stumbled a lot with my Korean, and I was afraid that the person I was speaking to would misunderstand me. Now, I try to speak as much as I can. And now, I’ve even written my own songs and released an album that I wrote. I’m still working to become the best person I can possibly be.
Q: Are there aspects of fame that’s taken away your freedom?
A: I think people tend to think of celebrities as people who live in this far away land somewhere else. That’s not the path I want to take as a celebrity. When people see someone famous, they go, “Wow! It’s a celebrity”, but I don’t want to give off that feeling. If I want to go out, I go out, and if I want to hang out with my friends, I go and hang out with my friends. If I try to disguise myself, it’s worse because people catch on and I have to be more careful. I think it’s important that I live life while having fun. I even tell my hoobaes that if you live your life constantly worried about what others are thinking, you’ll be captured inside a prison in your own head. If you really want to show your fans a joyful and happy appearance, you really have to be happy.
Q: Does that mean you don’t want people to see the depressed and sad side of you?
A: I want them to see that too. There are times that I cry, and there are times I have hardships. I wish people wouldn’t be so surprised at that. Even to my parents who don’t want me to have any hard times, I say to them, “I am going to have difficult moments. That can’t be avoided. Mom, dad, you’ve had hard times too.” I hope fans are able to accept me as this complete person, who of course has sad times. It’s like when your friend is really going through a rough time, you try to help them, not avoid them.
Q: Since your style is different from other female idols and tends to be more masculine, I feel like that could have helped you protect yourself but also been stressful for you.
A: There are times someone will ask me, “Amber, why don’t you wear a skirt?” At first, I thought it was okay for people to ask me that as they were just trying to get to know who I was. But now, when I receive that question, I just want people to just accept me the way that I am. Girls aren’t girls because they wear skirts. Everybody develops his or her own style. We need to respect everyone’s individuality. So in 2016, I hope people are able to accept me just as I am.
Q: You’re currently preparing for f(x)’s first concert. Can you feel the 7 years?
A: Preparing for the concert has been so much fun. It feels like we’re finally able to truly show the music we’ve been working on for 7 years. It makes me think about how much we’ve grown, and all of our memories pop up. Sometimes I think we were so cute back then. In particular, the song ‘Gangsta Boy’ was like that. We’re all so grown now, so singing the fun, cute lyrics in that song was so weird and funny. It’s probably like how Kangta feels when he sings H.O.T’s ‘Candy’? It’s embarrassing to death, but we want to sing our older songs to bring back memories.
Q: What kind of songs have you been writing lately?
A: I jump between different genres, so I’m currently working on five different songs. I’ll go home and wrote a verse on one song, leave it alone for a few days, and then work on another song another day. Just a few moments ago, a melody popped into my head and I had to record it. The songs I’m writing right now are a bit straightforward and dark, but it’s my true feelings.
Q: What do you think differentiates you between the other artists?
A: The randomness? I feel like I’m a squirrel. A squirrel can work so hard to dig a hole in the ground, but if something distracts it, it just looks that way and then if another distraction comes, it looks that way. I’m like that.
Q: Out of all your random thoughts, is there any you want to really try?
A: I want to try shooting a really chaotic music video that involves something like shooting out a bunch of fake money or doing a one-take where I spray paint everywhere. I think it’d be more fun if I invite all my friends. I really really want to shoot a music video like that. But I’m sure the cost would be high? And you have to clean all that up after…
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