almost home
oozey mess
ellievsbear
NASA
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wallacepolsom
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
RMH
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blake kathryn
Misplaced Lens Cap
Today's Document
#extradirty
$LAYYYTER
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we're not kids anymore.
noise dept.
Cosimo Galluzzi
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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
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@reminderthatitsnottheend
the bad thing about having unhealthy habits due to mental illness, is when you DO do something healthy style you can't brag about about it because then people will then know you've been doing it yucky style all along. Like you can't brag you changed your sheets or brushed your teeth because then ppl will be like oh did you not brush your teeth regularly before? Thats yucky disgusting! So you just gotta keep it to yourself. And be proud alone, I suppose.
art will save you, being unreasonably passionate about something niche will save you, letting past sources of joy show you the way back to yourself will save you, earnestness over composure will save you, the natural world will save you, caring for something bigger than yourself will save you, daring to be seen will save you, kindness not as a whim but a principle will save you, appreciation as a practice will save you, daring to try something new will save you, grounding will save you, love will save you, one good nights sleep will save you
“i should take a walk for my mental health” boring, tired, i don’t even really wanna do it tbh
“i need to check the perimeter” i need to check the perimeter
Glennon Doyle, Untamed
literally though if you feel like your life is slipping through your fingers and every day goes too fast… try doing hard things, not just taking the easy route, like reading and making art and exercising and cooking a meal from scratch and journaling, doing these things without distraction, without being absorbed on a screen… the time will stretch and you’ll be reminded that life is long and beautiful if you make it so.
Reblogging this with these tags because oh my goodness
To the person I reblogged this from THANK YOU i am now going to stick this on my pinboard where I’m gonna see it every single day
“Life is long and beautiful if you make it so”
“No one remembered my birthday-” Well, but did YOU tell anyone it was coming up and you wanted to celebrate it with them?
“I wish someone would see through it when I tell people I’m fine-” Well, but have YOU considered not lying when people ask you how you’re doing?
“I am so resentful of my friend because they keep doing this thing that really bothers me-” Well, but have YOU directly communicated that the thing is bothering you?
“I am burning out because my friend keeps expecting me to help them with serious struggles-” Well, but have YOU tried to establish the boundaries you need to feel okay?
“No one ever asks me about this thing I really care about-” Well, but have YOU brought it up yourself?
“I miss my friend but they haven’t texted me-” Well, but have YOU been reaching out to them?
Sometimes people are mean, uncaring assholes, in which case you get to be mad. But sometimes you just need to communicate better. Try communication before you assume someone doesn’t care!
Having someone who knows you on such a deep level that they see past your mask, or sense you need a check in is such a deep satisfying fantasy. It’s up there with living in a cottagecore farm, or buying all your friends houses when you win the lottery. But you have to make peace with the fact that this is also a fantasy. It is unfair to expect people to “just know” when to respect your boundaries or to push them.
Being cared for is not a fantasy. But you have to let people know you need it. And you have to understand that sometimes they will let you down. Just like you totally could live in a cute farm, but you still have to shovel shit, and the crops sometimes die anyway. Or maybe you win the lottery, but you still have to manage your money and learn real estate law.
The fantasy isn’t the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work. And it sucks. It’s embarrassing. But like the meme says, it’s not rotten if it’s YOU. So do it for yourself.
“The fantasy isn’t the caring, the fantasy is not having to do the work”! Thank you for that addition. Because it’s not a naive expectation to want someone to care to treat you right. But it requires communication and mutual effort to actually get there
“i don’t like writing about my day, but i want to keep a journal”:
quotes and copywork. when reading, if you find something you enjoy, just copy it into the notebook. you can copy a whole chapter if you wish, highlighting what caught your attention the most.
definitions. look up on a dictionary and copy it. you could write your own dictionary as well, making up definitions for words.
lists. a classic, write movies to watch, books to read, the playlist of the month or just the groceries you have to buy.
maps. when going somewhere, you could draw the route you took or just a map of the place itself. just look up the place on google maps and copy it. you can draw a little map of all the places you have lived or the schools you have attended as well.
photos
take “notes” as you watch movies / documentaries. write down phrases that caught your attention or doodle.
illustrations and clippings. if you see an image or piece of art that you liked, put it in your journal. if it’s from a book or from a magazine I would recommend scanning it, tho’. it will serve as a record of what kind of art you enjoy through the years.
newspaper clippings from the day.
tickets and pamphlets. from movies, museums, transportation.
postcards
records. you could record for a month what the temperature was when you woke up and when you went to sleep. if you do that for a year, it gives you a better notion of the passing of seasons. you could record rainfall and other seasonal changes as well. you could choose something (an animal, a plant, an item or object) and write down every time you see it.
rubbings of leaves, coins, landmarks.
count. there’s a scene in the movie Coraline (2009) where Coraline’s dad tells her to go count the windows. you could do the same type of counting game if you are bored and write down.
mindmaps/sketchnotes + timelines of books, movies, music albums.
collages
pressed leafs and flowers
your collections. if you collect anything you could write down an inventory or maybe try to draw the items.
recipes. write down recipes and give it a score every time you try it. you could do the same for drinks you try out.
stickers
comic strips. you can find a bunch of it online, glue your favorites in your notebook.
you’ll achieve the most you can if you go at your own pace
i think being able to identify and deconstruct an irrational feeling should make it go away. i literally solved your riddle puzzle master can u let me OUT the damn TORTURE LABYRINTH
fyi. being intensely self critical is not the same as being self aware. if you’re really self aware you’ll be aware of the good stuff too. just in case anyone needs to hear it. don’t mistake constantly dissecting what you see as your flaws for some kind of personal enlightenment.
''i wasted those years'' who cares. you lived the only life you could've lived in those moments
You did the best you could with all you had and knew. That was then. Here is now
prev tags correct
If you're someone who struggles with interoception (knowing/understanding what your body is feeling):
if there's a task, especially a recurring one, that you find difficult to do and that you keep avoiding, check whether you're in pain or physical discomfort.
For a long time I would avoid doing tasks like showering because they nebulously made me feel 'bad' or i just instinctively felt like avoiding them. It wasn't until I got a shower chair that I realised standing to shower was causing me pain. My bodymind knew that on some level but didn't tell the conscious me.
Similarly with sensory aversions (things you don't like). Before I got kitchen gloves, I did the dishes but it took me a long time and I never wanted to. Afterward, it got a lot easier to motivate myself.
"But how can you not know you're in pain/uncomfortabke?" Extremely easily if your brain is wired a specific way or if you were taught, intentionally or not, to downplay your own experiences or distance yourself from your body.
There's no shame in struggling with these things. hope y'all are having nice days and you're able to do something today that makes it a little easier.
Harrison Wood Hsiang
the really crazy thing about cooking is that once you practice it enough (for all the gamers reading this: "grind enough exp") your threshold for wuat counts as a low effort / depression / I Dont Really Want To Cook meal rises steadily and you can feel yourself becoming the kind of person whose "chill dinner" takes 1h45 and involves three pans
ok but how do I get there from "assembling a sandwich is too much work"
As someone who went through this and struggles with chronic pain and fatigue, add 1 thing semi regularly. And I do mean just 1 thing.
When I first moved out most my meals were instant ramen. Then I started adding 1 egg to that ramen to get a little protein in. In a couple months, 1 egg became two. Then it was 2 eggs and 1 chopped green onion. Then a couple months later I was adding carrots and other vegetables. In about two years I was able to skip the instant ramen part altogether and now use chicken broth and noodles and I’m basically making a ramenesque soup from scratch when I’m craving ramen. It took 2+ years total of just gradually, one at a time, adding one ingredient. Over a period of months/weeks.
Start with where you’re able. If a sandwich is too much, maybe try just a piece of bread and some meat or cheese. Focus on where you can be gradually introducing more nutrients into your body. 1 slice of deli meat. A couple weeks later, that plus 1 slice of cheese. Then 1 vegetable. Maybe they don’t all make it into sandwich form and that’s ok. But if you keep what’s the most basic and simple for yourself and slowly add 1 thing that’s not too much of a hassle, over a couple months you might start toasting the bread before putting cheese and meat on it. Then one day there’s more vegetables. Years down the line you might find yourself owning a panini press or slicing your own bread.
Most of us will never be gourmet chefs and that shouldn’t be the goal. You might not ever get to the point where you own a panini press. But the more important thing is that you’re finding ways that work, for you, gradually, in order to make your meals more nutritious. The expectation to cook a full, unique meal every night for dinner is a relatively new phenomenon and completely unrealistic for most people. Having the same 3 things you can make consistently and keep on rotation is plenty fine, especially if you get to the point where you can mix it up a little bit by adding ingredients in the method stated above. Feeding yourself should be the #1 goal, getting more nutrients in #2, and stepping it up to the next level #3 when you have the capacity to. Like with a lot of things, it’s really just about consistency. Start with where you can be consistent. If that’s 1 meal a week you cook yourself and the rest is hot pockets, but you can do that 1 meal consistently, then that’s where you start. Then when you have that down, maybe try two (of the same) meals a week, or ask what you can add to your hot pocket to make it a little better for you. (Some vegetables on the side for instance).
Don’t try to jump in from 0 to full course meal all at once or you’ll overwhelm yourself. Building a meal outward from bread and butter over a period of weeks is incredibly possible. No two peoples’ timelines will be the same, but it is entirely possible and that success will look different for everyone, and that’s also ok. As long as you’re feeding yourself, that’s what’s most important.
this is so helpful. too many times when I ask how to do something, people tell me to "just do it" like I'm supposed to already know what steps to take. and I almost never know what steps to take. someone actually telling me is so refreshing
My advice for getting from "sandwich too hard" to "can actually cook, somehow" is to get a rice cooker, start messing around with what liquid you cook the rice in, start adding stuff to the rice while it cooks or after it cooks, see where you end up. This can also like silverjirachi said be very gradual, one thing at a time. I make rice and eat it with butter. Eventually I make rice with chicken broth, and eat it with butter. I start adding canned chicken. I start adding poultry seasoning. I start adding dehydrated chopped onion. I start cutting up a little fresh onion. Sometimes I throw an egg in there now. I have a couple other rice cooker recipes of similar complexity. I still don't really use perishable ingredients except sometimes onion, because my executive function isn't that reliable.
Somehow never occurred to me I can use my rice cooker to cook things WITH the rice. So cool!!
i know we're all sick of self-care being a marketing tactic now, but i don't think a lot of us have any other concept of self-care beyond what companies have tried to sell us, so i thought i'd share my favorite self-care hand out
brought to you by how mad i just got at a Target ad
OP this is EXCELLENT
Now THAT’S a self care resource! If you’ve gotten distracted by capitalism’s appropriation of “self-care” and watering the meaning down to nothing this is a super helpful guide to cut through the bullshit.
Something I think people who don’t live with chronic illness don’t understand is that there is a big difference between resting to get better and resting to avoid getting worse.
