Thats What my Sweater Says...

ask me things and I'll love you

[sonnea]

[xndecisive]

thought i’d try being artsy for once

[notonyourbarricade]

It was a huge disappointment as a child to fall in love with the stars and then find out how much math it requires to get anywhere near them. 

[cornwallacebienbenaruoo-deactiv]

Shoutout to everyone that had a dream career or ideal life but were roadblocked by math. 

[lucid-dreemurr]

me: immune system why do i have a fever

immune system: well the bacteria can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long so i thought i’d raise the temperature to kill them off!

me: 

immune system:

me: 

immune system:

me: we also can’t survive outside 37 degrees for long

immune system:

[democrips]

fake conversations in your head of you venting to someone

[gahhhdamn]

how I stay sane

[ellsari]

[kidouyuuto-deactivated20140411]

how did they learn to translate languages into other languages how did they know which words meant what HOW DID TH

[brigwife-deactivated20240426]

English Person: *Points at an apple* Apple

French Person: Non c’est une fucking pomme 

*800 years of war*

[agentverbivore]

Fun fact: There are a lot of rivers in the UK named “avon” because the Romans arrived and asked the Celts what the rivers were called. The Celts answered “avon.” 

“Avon” is just the Celtic word for river.

[thejazzykittykat]

Fan Fact #2: When Spanish conquistadors landed in the Yucatán peninsula, they asked the natives what their land was called and they responded “Yucatán”. In 2015, it was discovered that in those mesoamerican languages, “Yucatán” meant “I don’t understand what you are saying”

[xyxul-deactivated20201020]

W H E E Z E

[jomjjeoro]

hey guys. this is my invention. check it out

[bastionkeeper]

listen no matter how depressed I am whenever this post shows up on my dash I fucking lose it I just laugh so hard, it’s such a good post. The way it’s presented? Soap on a sink nozzle, okay clearly this is some sort of handwashing appliance. Then there’s just water going everywhere no further explanation it’s so good I’m so happy

[jennamourey]

A Full Face of Rhinestones

[lovepsychothefirst]

#listen I don’t watch Jenna Marbles#I’ve never subscribed to hr channel#but there’s one thing about her that I absolutely respect#she does NOT clickbait#she fucking COMMITS to whatever bull shit she says she’s gonna do#90% of her video titles LOOK like clickbait#but then the video is EXACTLY what the title says#how many balloons does it take to life my chihuahua off the ground#I DON’T KNOW JENNA WHY DON’T YOU FIND OUT#spends entire video reporting on increasingly annoyed Party City employees#as she ties over 100 helium balloons to a sling that her dog falls asleep in#while floating 4 feet above the ground#because she fucking found out how many balloons it took#‘MY DOG RATES SOAP’ says the video title#her Italian Greyhound has some kind of soap licking neurosis and shows clear preferences#by the end of the video her dog does indeed have a favorite brand of soap#I EAT DOG TREATS WITH MY DOGS#literally does exactly that and actually enjoys like 2 of them#I don’t follow her at all but DAMN does Jenna Marbles not fuck around#she just … does exactly what she says she will#like some kind of chaotic entity that combats clickbait by being exactly as absurd as the marketing implies

[michaun]

[846782364278]

[cottoncatking]

[meggory84]

IKEA bringing the SÅLT

[gunpowder-tea]

that guys comment says so much about the american nationalism and attitudes towards other countries 

[mouvemente]

“If it comes; let it. If it goes; let it.”

— Unknown (via syntacked)

[buttrimming-deactivated20190103]

me, when I run up stairs but don’t get out of breath: omg skinny

[animals-lovers]

(Source)

[rosemarysmaryjane-blog]

This was very pleasing

[trixforadults]

Such a good dog 😍

[rue-by-another-name]

the biggest lie i ever told & how my husband came to protect it

for years i have lived this lie telling everyone i am allergic to peanuts because i hate the smell of peanut butter and don’t really like peanut butter that much but whenever i used to tell people i don’t like peanut butter they’d get all defensive like “peanut butter is amazing how do you not like it?!” and then i’d have to go into this whole thing to defend my taste buds.

but then i got tired of it and started telling people that i’m just allergic to peanuts because that way it’s not my fault that i hate the smell of peanut butter - it’s now like i’m a sad little baby who will never get to taste peanut butter ever in her life and everyone feels sad for me.

but the problem is that i really love peanut m&ms and so now i can only eat peanut m&ms when i’m at home in secret. the only person who knows my lie is my husband. and so at work this evening we had a small celebration for someone and they had peanut m&ms and i really wanted some but obviously couldn’t eat them in public because then people would know my peanut secret. 

and so when we got home after work my husband tipped his jacket over and emptied his pockets and at least thirty or so peanut m&ms fell out of his pockets and he whispered, “i was sneakily accumulating them all night for you because i could see the pain in your eyes.”

and if that isn’t love then i don’t know what is. 

[subtubitles]

[thingsonhazelshead]

keeping up with the news during vacation.