Lack of Life

30+ Canadian (Queer, She/Her/They/Them) who is still unsure if she's doing things right. Enjoy story and romance. Believe in a good world for all. Can be found at pillowfort and twitter at (basically) the same name! Message me if you like, I don't bite!

[stealingpotatoes]

i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3

[see-arcane]

ok ok I'm still thinking about your long Azune, Murray post (which I agree with a lot) and I'm wondering why do you feel like it's going to explode? honestly to me it seems much more plausible that the confrontation just never happens and it's another social situation that Azune managed to barely skirt the consequences of. I feel like he would much prefer that the positive outcome of this situation finally cements in her mind that whatever methods he uses he is very careful with the people around him, which I think is what she's really worried about. I'm curious to hear your opinion if there is something that makes further confrontation inevitable?.

It doesn’t have to be an explosion—assuming Marisha and Luis even have time to hash out this character-centered rough patch instead of focusing on pushing the story through, which would be understandable—but I think someone has to snap or put their foot down or otherwise have a cold slap of reality from a third party nailing the issue from outside their own relationship. If the whole thing winds up being confronted with something more hushed and sincere, I’d love to see it. I'm sure it's possible.

Yet from what we’ve seen of their dynamic so far, Murray’s far more kinetic and vocal than Azune is, and the only times we see him speak up on his own behalf it’s been either carefully chosen words in a voice that doesn’t raise, or else it’s with an eruption of tears and desperation that implores or self-berates, but doesn’t lash outward.

But neither quiet voicing of his fears nor a full panic attack were enough to really budge Murray on what she believes is true. That Azune is her best friend in this whole cursed world and there are definitely no invisible lines she’s drawn around him that trigger an immediate switch to suspicion, veiled threats, and implicitly stamping him as being so good at his villain role that he can’t possibly stop now no matter the risks to him. Nor does she need to unpack anything to do with how blithely she implied that sorcerers are lazy mages who don’t earn anything they have—unlike good hardworking wizards like herself—while Azune was standing right there, keeping quiet.

Which is all to say: Something needs to change.

Azune will either be forced to stand up for himself on this point or, if he truly can’t bring himself to get into it with Murray (as he apparently hasn’t managed for years), there needs to be a big disruption to their current status quo. Another character chimes in, either hero or villain. Maybe one or the other will have an insight that pulls the rug out from under them. Something. Because if things carry on as they are?

Brennan’s wheels were turning when he played the roles of King Gus and Lord Otto in that episode. Clocking the bait Marisha was laying with her anti-sorcerer comments with one, having Lord Otto scoff at the idea of Capt. Nayar being a mere wizard (derogatory) with the other. If Murray and Azune don’t confront this on their own, I foresee Brennan ‘PVP’ Lee Mulligan setting specific dominoes up to force the issue. Especially in the context of how well Azune’s being set up by the narrative, by his identity crises (plural), and the fucking dice rolls to get painted by any suspicious party as being the undercover guy who’s so good at his job it’s scary. And who among the Schemers is the most paranoid of the crew? The one with a new theory to pitch at every meeting?

tl;dr: I think if the characters don’t get a moment to actually hash this out in conversation, the stage is going to be set for something much uglier.

[redstonedust]

the problem with movie remakes is that they always remake something that was already good, meaning at worst you ruin it and at best your remake is largely redundant. to make a truly good remake you need to start with source material that is absolute dogwater. ignore the pull of nostalgia. redeem the sins of moviemaking past.

[fifteen-ducks]

i do love

azune: you're very wise, occtis occtis, halfway through his last word: nope! thimble: you're so wise, occtis occtis, again halfway through the last word: i'm super not azune: why was that rejected so fast?

character sheet fades to occtis's and its wis 10 stat

[trailertrashgrog]

i do think as much as cas tried to justify his betrayal of thjazi to have been caused by thjazi's actions (and he does hit on thjazi's worst quality, which is his opacity), cyd makes it pretty clear that cas was not a man of principle that had been driven to desperation because of thjazi's neglect, he was always a self-serving asshole.

laughing about trying to kill thimble isn't the action of someone who might not have betrayed thjazi if maybe thjazi had thought to subsidize his conspirators. he was always going to be the weak link in the chain because his vision for a better world was always just a better world for casimir.

also frankly, thjazi's conspirators were all employed adults (* azune is an adult now who kept going because of his own issues) who did this voluntarily. it's not the same as the magpies, who were people fired by the enemy who needed to be fed to keep them from taking jobs with the enemy. like "hundreds of people who need to feed their families so they can be part of the rebellion" (a plan only possible because of a king) and "spend a decade taking care of your shady acquaintance who is in too deep with an evil thieves guild" are really different beasts

[jonnyrig]

Wick's occasional outbursts of anger are such an underrated aspect of his characterization. Beyond just being something refreshingly different from his usual sweet/sad/scared trinity, I think it shows A LOT about the environment he was raised in.

Wick is a patient man, he only actually breaks down into anger when he's already been pushed to his limit with stress. His grandmother refusing his pleas to spare Thjazi and Tyranny continually ignoring him, his first time on death's door, being insulted (and even punched) constantly by his allies, etc. And when he snaps it only directed at the cause of his frustration (Tyranny disobeying him, Thaisha killing one of the luxes in a spur of the moment, Julien punching him). And when he doesn't have someone in particular to snap at, he just simmers in self-resentment.

When he does lose his temper, it reflects on Yanessa in a couple interesting ways. For one, it honestly makes him resemble Yanessa's aggression a lot. It's quick, it's loud, and it's mean.

But moreso it reflects the effect growing up around her anger had on him and his ability to stand up for himself. He may have been his family's favorite child, but his reaction to Yanessa's outburst in episode 3 reads to me as someone who is used to seeing it and being cowed into submission by it, or seeing others be cowed by it.

It explains a lot about Wick, despite sometimes having misplaced confidence, being so hesitant to actually stand up for himself until his stress boils over into rage and he can't stop himself. Then he usually feels the need to apologize immediately afterword. Being in that environment trained him to be obedient and passive, even in the face of anger and insults.

He never learned to stand up for himself normally, so now he just lets his stress build up continuously until it boils over into aggression.

Angry Wick you'll always be famous I love you.

[bastardash]

Bolaire choosing to put himself in the hands of Tyranny and Wick after they "proved" themselves to him was a fun choice! Interesting that he wrote a letter and was like yeah I'll just be lying there pick me up or don't. (*cough* also shows how manipulative that scene with Hal really was *cough*)

It is now confirmed that he can be carried around without harm coming to him, and can be worn without bonding to a host. I did not think the second part was possible, so what the fuck is up with all the bodies? Besides Bolaire getting to live his independent life, what magical purpose do they serve? Because it does not seem like he has to siphon anyone's life force to exist, but as a Warlock that is his own patron does he need those souls to gain more arcane power? What's your actual deal my guy? Because I do not think it's survival.

Then there was the whole party master drug dealer reveal. I sat up and went oh he's that guy. The guy who's been in a PhD program forever never graduating. Throws the best parties, and is the king of his own small domain. Thinks he knows everything, but is too scared to actually join the real world. A bit insufferable to be around. We've all met a version of that guy.

It also contextualizes his behaviour towards Tyranny for me. Bolaire has gone to this school for over half a century--how quaint that this little freshman thinks they're equals, and she also thinks she's a real person better put her back in her place. Wait is she acing her classes on the first try and making more progress in 6 months than I have made in 60 years? Not sure I like that!

I think Bolaire has written himself a story that is very limiting and has stagnated. He is stuck. I don't know if he realizes it, but he is chaffing against it. He thinks Occtis and Wick are important not just for their weirdness and power, but because they're new. His interest in Hal is fueled by his own lack of imagination. Hal can write new stories, maybe he can write Bolaire a better one. Tyranny bothers him because she is not constrained by what the Creed made her to be, somehow she is a person. He befriended, and helped keep stagnant, Julien a man who is confined by the story of the Downfall of Thjazi Fang. He hates Thjazi, but can forgive him if he tells him a good enough story. He is starting to fear that Thjazi's story was very good indeed. (Notice the difference in attitude in the two team meetings)

Bolaire is not a person, he is a thing. He doesn't like to be used, but will discard himself at a moments notice for someone he considers worthy. He has no real sense of self, because he's not a self he is a story. Unfortunately he is a terrible writer.

EDIT: In my sleep deprivation I was confused and thought Bolaire's letter was to Wick not Tyranny, so the not bonding could be demon specific! Interesting that he is going all in on trusting Tyranny. Still would love a PC Bolaire can bond to put him on, so we can get more details on what is actually happening in there!

Bolaire's letter to Tyranny: It will not bond to you, you will be safe.

EDIT EDIT: Not demon specific Warlock specific. Tyranny can't be forced into service because she already serves her father.

(Anyone is of course free to disagree with me, but if you're coming at me with, but he's a poor wittle meow meow who has no choice and is only trying to survive, I am already bored and will not respond.)

[mareastrorum]

I think the most interesting thing about Murray is her unexamined bias, and I love that Azune brings them to the forefront of their conversations.

Murray organizes the people of the world into the oppressors and the oppressed, but stumbles when the lines aren’t clear cut. Murray stealing from and smuggling goods through the Penteveral is good, but Dean Kora (who has a similar background as Murray) doing it in an official way that brings funding to the school isn’t. Thjazi is suspect because he seemed to be so aware of and worked around the Sundered Houses’ machinations, but Azune isn’t because he’s talking to her about his spying? Occtis is a nepo baby despite 0 support or contact from his family during his entire stint at the Penteveral (he hadn’t even been to the family manor in the same city for years), but Hero D’vyen isn’t despite being raised in an influential merchant family because she was useful? Because she’s a wizard instead of a sorcerer? Because she’s Hal’s kid (and still also Elodie’s kid)?

The simple answer is that Murray picks favorites according to her strongest impressions, and doesn’t really think deeply about the why. It’s an instinctive thing, not a well reasoned perspective based in logic or moral judgment. That’s a fascinating flaw to have for someone so dedicated to the idea that magic is a science and belief systems like religion are just superstitions.

Of all the PCs, Azune is the one in the best position to prod at this flaw. None of the others really have reason to put heavy weight on Murray’s opinion of them. Azune was her pupil and both of them worked with Thjazi. They have personal and professional connections to each other.

So it’s Azune who brings up the ugly line of thought:

I like-- Sometimes you look at me and I think that you put on me a little bit of the disdain that you have for the institution that I work for and it makes me feel like I might be losing you because of the position I'm in, but moments like this remind me that that's probably just in my head, and I really--

Murray’s response is of course that’s all in his head, she doesn’t think of him like that because he’s a good egg.

He’s one of the good ones, and we’re not going to ignore all the biases that invokes for a character made by a white woman.

But the story didn’t end there in episode 22, and the conversation didn’t either. Azune keeps brushing against these biases, and Murray cares enough about him that she can’t ignore the discomfort.

Azune tells the group that he needs to present the case to Einfasen at the family manor. He is potentially walking to his execution, and they all know it because he asked for Demodus to go testify, and Murray objected that her student could die there. But so could Azune.

Is it fine because Azune was a child soldier and never really stopped being a soldier? Because he chose to join the Arcane Marshals to spy for Thjazi instead of pursuing a formal education for himself? Because he chose to lie to the Sundered Houses to further the Schemers’ plans and that means he solely bears the risks?

Of course it’s not fine, and Murray doesn’t pretend it is, but she clearly wants to escape that situation without having to face those questions, and Azune won’t let her. She objected, and now that all of that is laid at her feet, she has to choose to stand by that objection or not.

How can she criticize Thjazi for treating good people as expendable when that is exactly the dilemma before her? Doesn’t that suggest that Thjazi experienced similar turmoil when faced with these choices? We can’t even answer that because Thjazi chose to die for his cause rather than escape. He bore the same risks he asked of others and didn’t run.

So Murray goes with the group too, all jointly risking their lives, and Azune’s presentation works! She even has a discussion with Demodus where he points out that his lightheartedness isn’t from naïveté or ignorance, but because he chooses that in the face of despair. Azune got promoted, Demodus has a job set up for him with an escort to safety, and Murray faces no fallout.

But it doesn’t feel good.

Sure, the world would be better without the Sundered Houses using their monopoly on magic to reinforce class divides—but the divides will continue. Gus is only king because he had a valid claim of royal blood, with support from other nobles, and his heir will follow a monarchist convention for title and inheritance. The backup soldiers for the theater will only show up because Elodie D’vyen charitably paid for their meals. Students were available to help Bolaire obstruct the houses at the Archanade because of corruption at the Penteveral. We don’t get to pretend that the only reason these circumstances are in the story is some message about making unfair systems work for the heroes; the unfairness will continue even if they win.

The uncomfortable reality is that the world isn’t simple enough to determine who the good people are and then get rid of the bad guys. There’s no such thing as the good people, a class of good people, a set of pre-determined traits that identifies good people. Even if we pretended there was, they aren’t a unified faction whose interests and stakes will always align. The idea of always being able to make choices to benefit only the good people is no more rational than superstition. That’s an uncomfortable thought to bear for an intelligent woman who values scientific study of magic enough to dedicate her career to it.

Azune has accepted that already, and he clocked Murray right from the start: her support and friendship is contingent on him being one of the good ones, however it is that she defines that in her own head.

It’s so satisfying to see a Latino actor look a white actor in the eyes and perform his character begging to know how he can be one of the good ones. Azune wants to be and doesn’t know how, but he’s willing to do as he’s told. No one gets to be comfortable about this. Everyone gets to bask in how fucked up that mentality is and that there is no definitive answer except “the people I approve of.” Hypocrisy and tribalism on full display with a lovely little plaque added by Luis.

I’m curious to see whether Murray will either confront her biases or lean into them further.

[see-arcane]

Oh but I am chewing the Einfasen audience scene to pieces

Azune’s Alter Self Einfasen makeovers are starting to pay off! And not just to the level of psychological maneuvering Azune was planning on. Otto and the rest vibed so hard with him that the implication has become a joking (?) suggestion that Azune is a blood relative?

Following the latter, Otto locks in so hard on this theory—or at least on the presence of his sorcery and Azune’s own lack of knowledge regarding its source—that in the middle of all this prep work for this big Sundered House meeting, he makes a note that research is in order. Research on what? Azune’s magic? His family tree? If the latter goes too deep, will that endanger his origin story told to Harondus? Or even avoiding that, will it dig up some lore that was better left buried than in the Einfasens’ hands?

Also hooray! Azune’s promoted to Captain! …Helped by Captain Fazir’s desk being already cleared out prior to this meeting! Meaning Harondus was already intending to plant Azune there to further the Einfasen takeover of the Revolutionary Guard! And anchoring Azune to a desk job means it will be increasingly difficult for him to do his undercover street patrols to meet up at the Archanade, Pentevral and Hallowed Round! Wheeeeeeeeee!

New hammer? New hammer! I wonder if it’ll come with new art since the design is different from the original head. (Plus he needs the staff for his arcane focus, doesn’t he? Maybe he’ll just swing two weapons now. Hammer 1 and Hammer 2.)

Something something Azune has spent his entire boyhood, adolescence and young adulthood in thankless toil and danger and double lives for the Good of the Cause, getting nothing but pep talks when he breaks down in order to keep him marching, caught in perpetual plotting mode, fresh from a solid day’s worth of having his face rubbed in the fact that his closest friend in the city (bar the soldiers who just now showed up and will likely ditch soon post-climax) provably sees him as less of a priority compared to other youths in need of protecting, was prepared to send him away empty-handed before a stranger’s non-platitude comfort embarrassed her into caving, and just spent a night verbally wringing him out with her kneejerk distrust and accusations and actual threats if her Sweet Honey Bear Baby Boy student gets done wrong by him, only for the fucking villains to clock all his hard work in one shot, immediately drown him in earnest accolades, tangible benefits, and an unofficial implied adoption something something

His earnest breakdown was seen as suspicious by his friends and met right up to the end with denials for aid and dismissal wrapped in ice cream. His performance for the villains of both houses is consistently met with approval, support and welcome. This will for sure have no negative repercussions on his mental state while he is also actively trying not to spiral down the drain of multiple identity crises.  

[lovelyswampwitch]

It was hinted last episode (or maybe the one before that) that the Sisters of Sylandri might be in cahoots with the Tachonises. Otherwise, how could they have gotten their hands on the Stone of Night Song.

Now, simply saying that they just want Sylandri back is one thing, I mean that could be all she wrote. But now, knowing that the elves are unable to reproduce, create new life of their own, makes the motivation to resurrect her might be their only way to continue propagate their people.

Brennan is so, soooooooooo fucking sneaky, man. I think he said somewhere in episode one that elves are very rare and seeing one in public is quite a spectacle. Most of us assumed that was just maybe because they kept to themselves. Nope, their entire bloodline is about to disappear and maybe some of them are getting quite desperate in finding ways to continue it.

[queer-bi-cliche]

Ah yeah, the classic knife tipped clown shoe routine. Works every time (exactly like in Calamity)

A legendary man. The human embodiment of a sleeper cell. An icon, a diva

Love Sam Riegel

[ryttu3k]

Azune: Terrified he can't keep up with the lies upon lies any more, having a full-on panic attack, desperately needing someone to tell him he doesn't need to walk into the lion's den any more and he doesn't need to keep lying.

Also Azune: Walks into the lion's den, gets a promotion, a weapon, a level-up, possibly a new family (enforced), and even more to have to lie about.

[jaz-the-bard]

One benefit to there being 1000 lucreziae is that people get to kill her 1000 times, which when you think of it that way, isn't nearly enough. Agatha alone deserves that many, but I'm sure everybody else needs at least 100

[regallibellbright]

Today's Girl Genius:

I'm not even surprised, and yet: Damn, Klaus.

I am hoping now that whoever came in last strip is an ally of Klaus specifically, whether that's Bohrlaika or Barry or someone else. He could use the hand, and is still not allowed to die before his children can yell at him.

[publishinggoblin]

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[goth-queen]

[faun-grove]

unicorn out of captivity, 2022