In 2018, I wrote down a passing thought in my cheap little leather-bound journal I was writing a collection of songs in that would go on to become Preacher’s Daughter. “If I finish this album the way it needs to be finished, it will change my life, and it will leave a hole in my heart for years that I won’t know how to fill.” I’ve always had a knack for eerily accurate self-premonition. Preacher’s Daughter certainly left a hole, and it certainly changed my life, but only on the outside. All the songs I wrote for it were about characters, a girl in a “faraway” place living her “faraway” life, albeit still parallel to mine, but wholly detached from me. Willoughby was doomed to be closer to home. I wrote Nettles and Waco the same week, the first week I spent in the Alabama house where I would finish Preacher’s Daughter after so many years of trying. The difference was I wrote them about me. There were no characters at first; it was just me. In fact, I wrote them in an attempt to hide from Ethel Cain for a moment. She eventually devoured those little ditties too, of course, as she always does. In hindsight, I’m glad I had to share them with her. I couldn’t have carried the full weight of them myself, I know that now. My premonitions were out in full force; over the course of the next few years, I’d script out my own life in the same morbid fashion I always have. Maybe it was a lesson in not training my eye downward as I’ve spent the majority of my life doing.
I had 3 weeks for the holidays between mixing and submitting Perverts and jumping back into the maw of taming an unfinished Willoughby Tucker. I spent the first three months of 2025 on probation, unable to go much of anywhere, awake only when the sun was down. I’d never mixed a record of that magnitude, which was daunting with deadlines immovable. I remember 9am on my 27th birthday rolling around after being awake for hours whittling away at mixes, announcing the album and entire tour before going back to mix an album that still wasn’t done. I’ve never cried so much finishing a record, and that was before it was even out. Combining your Saturn return, your first shot at true love, and the longest tour of your life is something I would never recommend to anyone. It was the death of both ego and everything around it. I couldn’t be more grateful. Never in my life have I been so turned inside out, so uprooted and unraveled. Looking back, I needed it more than anything.
Thank you to everyone who listened. Ethel Cain and Willoughby Tucker will always be my children, my burnt offerings, what I leave in the storm. Sometimes I wish it didn’t have to be this way, but I also fear it’s the only way. Ethel Cain, Willoughby Tucker, I really will always love you. I feel as though in this moment here, saying goodbye, you and I are closer than ever. I hope you can forgive me.
I love how versatile dadbastian is a concept. like I think a lot of ppl look down on it because they think its a fluffy, wholesome interpretation of sebastian and ciel's dynamic which sanitises the dark tones of the manga. but in my experience Wholesome Dadbastian is mostly just a thing in memes and art/fics which are set in modern AUs. there are so many ways to portray dadbastian that aren't just strictly wholesome. for example:
Manipulative dadbastian, where Sebastian is deliberately performing a fatherly role to make ciel trust him.
toxic dadbastian, where Sebastian is raising ciel to be evil like him.
accidental dadbastian, where Sebastian has a sudden realistiation of 'oh shit I've basically become this kids father how did that happen'. I especially love the idea of this dynamic during the early days of their contract
reluctant dadbastian, where Sebastian is very much aware he's acting like a dad and doesn't really want to
angsty dadbastian, where Sebastian becomes attached to ciel and acknowledges paternal feelings, but knows that he will eat his soul anyway and feels guilt/regret over it
One sided dadbastian, which could be from either character's perspective and can tie in really well with the other interpretations. such as ciel subconsciously starting to see sebastian as a father figure, not realising that it's all just manipulation. or sebastian harbouring genuine paternal feelings for ciel while ciel doesn't see their relationship that way at all
in conclusion, dadbastian can be as dark or as wholesome as you want it to be, so it's completely fine to enjoy certain interpretations of it and discard others. but personally I will eat up absolutely any portrayal of this dynamic because I love the endless possibilities with it
Earl "using everyone as pawns" Phantomhive and Sebastian "emotionless demon" Michaelis gotta try harder to sell this "dont care about this lot" facade, no one is buying this shit.
when people talk about emotional attachment between sebastian and ciel (or lack thereof) they almost always talk about it from sebastian's perspective, but imo ciel's is the most interesting.
because no matter how carefully he maintains his cold persona and denies his own vulnerability, ciel is underneath it all a traumatised and grieving child. regardless of emotional attachment in either direction, sebastian has taken on the role of psuedo-parent in day to day life. and that matters, that has an impact.
we know ciel seeks comfort from sebastian when his walls collapse ("stay with me until i fall asleep", clinging to him in circus arc), and we know he fears sebastian in similar circumstances (GWA). and that is chilling.
the horror of allowing yourself to be mothered and protected by something inhuman, evil, something that wants to consume you. the horror of realising you've grown physically and emotionally reliant on this creature against every better instinct.
and no matter how you try to distance yourself, no matter how much fear and hate you feel, no matter how deeply you understand that this imitation of a human cannot possibly care... you rely on it. and some tragic, grieving part of you still craves the comfort of the one you rely on most
What are your thoughts on how the characters are portrayed in the Kuromyu? I haven't watched them yet, but I've heard characters like Abberline get more screentime. Is the added lore good in your opinion?
Generally, yes, the added lore is pretty good. Reaper stans in particular love The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World for the musical-only characters Eric and Alan, as well as the elaboration on the Reaper office culture to a degree Yana has never spared time for. I personally am not really interested in it --- maybe I would be if I had seen TMBDITW with subtitles --- but I still think the Reaper parts seem fun and I can see why people enjoy them so much.
I talk about my feelings on the different portrayals of Sebastian by Yuta Furukawa, Yuya Matsushita, and Toshiki Tateishi here and, spoiler alert, the best Sebastian imho is Furukawa by a long shot. Furukawa performs in the second run of Lycoris as well as Noah's Ark and Tango on the Campania (my favorite one). I have less to say about Ciel, as he is frequently played by a minor, but also seems to more or less go in line with how I'd expect him to be portrayed on-stage. The one adult actor we've had for Ciel in the musicals, Eito Konishi, is probably my second favorite. He plays a very wicked and fussy Ciel which is fun to watch. Reo, expectedly, is my favorite; while I think he was too little to be in Noah's Ark especially, he still plays a very serious, convincing Ciel that contrasts well with the fact that he's still young himself.
Abberline is so, so enjoyable to watch on stage, especially with his comedy partner, the musical-only Hanks. And yes, Abberline is nearly completely different from his manga counterpart, but he's so charming that I don't think anybody has ever cared. My favorite AbberHanks skits are in Noah's Ark; they're really good at slapstick and physical comedy!
There are some other great standouts to mention, such as Uehara Takuya as Grelle! He's very good at dancing, his mannerisms are perfect for her, and he has such great respect for her character. His singing voice is not my favorite, but I can hardly blame him as he's usually expected to be hopping around the whole time and I can only imagine how hard it is to sing clearly while moving. One of my favorite adlibbed moments of Uehara's is when people don't cheer hard enough when Grelle comes out on stage and he looks at the audience as if disappointed and offended.
Shuhei Izumi is a fantastic Undertaker. He gets the mannerisms and vocal inflections down perfect; he really understands his role. And he can hit these deep baritone notes when singing that just resonate chillingly. As someone who isn't really a UT fan, I am definitely an Izumi fan!
Yoshide Sasaki, the second actor for Druitt, well… he's certainly convincing but he could stand to dial it back a liiiittle bit? Well I'm assuming he's just doing as instructed… He is a talented singer and his enthusiasm is clear.
The actors for Joker, Will, Ron, Rian Stoker, and Elizabeth and the Midfords also do an amazing job! I would say all the Furukawa musicals are absolutely worth watching. TMBDITW and The Public School's Secret are less my thing, but they're fine. I have yet to see the original musical, That Butler, Friendship, but hope to someday!
Out of curiosity…if Ono is your third fav Seb. What’s your Offical Sebastian Ranking™️?
Just as with the ask about the Anime Expo panel, it's fortunate for me that someone reached out, because I was thinking of making this a post on my own eventually someday anyway. What follows might be more information on my opinions of Sebastian than you care to have, so apologies in advance. Let's count down from worst to best:
6. Hiro Mizushima from Black Butler (2014)
There's a reason no one talks about this movie. It's because it sucks, and somehow I feel I can't really blame Mizushima for his performance, but... it is still a mixture of weird and unmemorable. That hairstyle does him no favors either, but maybe the fact that I find him a little bit frightening to look at should give him points rather than detract them. Off-screen, he looks like a completely normal man; somehow the film's efforts to make him a sexy butler were unfortunately funneled into making him unnerving and unappealing. And the movie is two entire hours long.
There's a lot I've deleted from my memory about the Black Butler live action film, but that lack of memory seems a sign that he should sit in dead last. Whether he's acting like a total weirdo or actually successfully impressing me, Sebastian should never be a forgettable character, and all I can think when I consider Mizushima's performance is that I never need to see it again.
5. Yuya Matsushita from That Butler, Friendship, The Most Beautiful DEATH in the World, and the first run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth
I know some people may find this placement to be blasphemous, but honestly, the only thing I really like about Yuya's Sebastian is his singing voice, and even then I'm not that wild about it. It's been a few years since I watched TMBDITW, so it's not super crisp in my mind, but I will give him some recognition as an early Sebastian who still had little material to work with. He probably had to do some of his own legwork to adapt the character to the stage and to the original stories he was expected to act in. That can't be easy, and it makes sense that his Sebastian would be one that had to stand somewhat independent from the canon. I also appreciate that he is playing Sebastian with purpose behind his actions and not a sexyman who just serves whatever convenient purpose the narrative dictates, like Mizushima's Seb.
With that caveat out of the way, I still don't like his Sebastian portrayal. It's clear Yuya really drummed up the "I'm no one but I can become anyone" aspect of Sebastian. He can invent personas that suit the situation, like when he decides to seduce Undertaker, but as soon as the problem is solved, he reverts back to being robotic and unsmiling. You get the feeling that he's rather cold and calculating and that he is only interested in doing things that will earn him Ciel's soul. I didn't watch with subtitles, so perhaps that evaluation is misplaced, but his mannerisms dictated that energy to me.
Also, I can't get behind the sort of sexual and romantic tones that sometimes felt present, especially when real children were involved. It will always taint his work for me. There's one song where he and Ciel look at each other the entire time and it's three and a half minutes long but it felt like a year. I wanted to crawl out of my skin because it was so horrifically awkward. Stick this man in fifth.
4. Toshiki Tateishi from The Public School's Secret
So I went into this musical fully prepared to hate Toshiki's performance, considering the act he was following, and... I thought it was actually pretty decent. When I think of Sebastian in the Weston arc, I think of the "sexy professor" angle Yana kept trying to push, and I was worried Toshiki would play into that, especially considering Ciel was being portrayed by a legal adult onstage for the first time. I was pleasantly surprised! That's not what happened at all.
Though likely unintended, I would say Toshiki gives off a rather maternal vibe, behaving more like Seb does in memes: kind of silly, kind of fussy, an overworked single mother who cares for her boy. Toshiki's Sebastian was very attentive of Ciel. He was frequently pleased with his kid's impish nature and didn't seem that annoyed to be taking on extra tasks, only complaining lightly, "Even though I have things to do too!" at the end of the chores song. When Ciel came up with a plan to foil Maurice, Toshiki seemed excited to praise him and gratified to help. He was like Sebastian Lite, only a bit insidious at times, mainly the ever-attentive helper.
To me, it's the first time one of the musicals has made Sebastian feel like a supporting character rather than the driving force behind the story. I prefer when he and Ciel are both treated evenly as protagonists, but I hate it when it's All About Him. I think Toshiki's performance has a good heart and he made me laugh at times. He's not quite canon Sebastian, but I like him. I trust him not to eat the sonboy just yet. Mostly.
3. Daisuke Ono from the Japanese dub of the anime
Daisuke Ono was a part of my first experience with Black Butler, so there's something about his voice that feels like it's just right for Sebastian. And it kind of is. It's a really flexible voice, and one that is clearly giving a performance when you listen to him. He also infuses his dialogue with what sounds to me like inherent smugness, which I think suits Sebastian perfectly. Ono's performance is the most self-satisfied in nature. It makes you think of a well-fed cat licking its chops while it considers its next meal.
His voice is not sexy to me, but I can see why people find it to be. At the same time, Ono isn't afraid to give Sebastian different inflections, even ones that some might consider too embarrassing or OOC for Seb. He's a veteran voice actor and he knows how to do whatever is requested of him. Sebastian treats his career just the same: he too will do essentially whatever Ciel requires. I think Ono is a natural match is what I'm saying, especially having now seen him in person and observing the way he works a crowd so effortlessly.
All that said... Ono's Sebastian is perfect. I don't mean that as a compliment: I mean he's too lacking in flaws. Sure, he has the big flaw (okay with killing a child) but he isn't really giving "silly idiot." Ono's Sebastian is the one the girlies write about in their self-insert fiction. And for the first two seasons, that's kind of who he was supposed to be, so fine. But even when he has silly or idiotic moments, it doesn't feel quite authentic, if that makes sense? I think to Ono, Sebastian's stupid mistakes are just a fluke, quickly corrected. It doesn't feel like they're a fundamental part of who his Sebastian is.
If you consider this nitpicking, you're right! The next two Sebastians are just that good. I still consider Daisuke Ono to be a very talented and accurately-portrayed Sebastian.
2. J. Michael Tatum from the English dub of the anime
While it's possible that I pick up on more nuance in Tatum's performance because he's the only one here who speaks the same language as me, how fortunate we are to have him doing Seb's English voice. He might not actually have a real British accent, but he's just too charming not to love. To me, he has all the vocal command of Ono but is more candid in his delivery. Ono may be Sebastian the perfectionist and Sebastian the performer, but Tatum is Sebastian the butler, well settled and confident in his human role.
I really appreciate the ways you can hear Tatum's voice change notably depending on Sebastian's emotions. This is especially prominent in Book of Atlantic during the flashback sequences: an annoyed Sebastian is an entirely different sounding dude than when he's being cunning, and again when he's being subservient. And he really does have this very silky, ASMR-ass way of speaking that suits Sebastian to a T. It's inherently convincing.
And more to my own interests, Tatum's voice for Sebastian has a really paternal nature to it, and I like that. I think it adds to the complexity of Sebastian's role in Ciel's life when you can hear this caring quality in the voice of a demon that will one day kill the child he works for. He can also be snipped and punctual, and then he can be gentle and reassuring, all in the same scene. And he can be scary too... and I'm super looking forward to hearing how this plays out during season 5.
To compare him to Ono again, I think Tatum knows Sebastian can be an idiot at times, but that quality still takes a backseat to the suaveness. He's almost perfect. And I probably would even say he is perfect, if we hadn't seen perfection itself. As he is, I think Tatum is an excellent voice actor for Sebastian, and I'm grateful that we have him in the position that we do.
1. Yuta Furukawa from the second run of Lycoris that Blazes the Earth, Noah's Ark Circus, and Tango on the Campania
Yuta Furukawa. What a legend. What an icon. This is where I would say "he isn't just playing Sebastian, he is Sebastian," but Furukawa is even more than that. He's what Sebastian should be. And that's not just me being rude to Yana. Yana has flat-out said that Yuta knows Sebastian better than she does herself. She's right.
If you have yet to see Yuta perform, then congratulations: you're in for a treat. What I wouldn't give to forget my first watch of Tango on the Campania and relive that magic all over again. Yuta knows who Sebastian is with every fiber of his being. And the fact that you see him over the course of three plays means you get to witness for yourself how his Sebastian goes from being a smirking demon who lives to impress, to a creature who understands fear, hardship, and pain. And yet you still wonder: is he really learning and growing after all? Or am I too being tricked by this suave being who appears to be emotionally moved?
I'm also proud to report that Yuta plays Sebastian as a true idiot. He says silly things, he behaves in silly ways! He's embarrassing enough to make Ciel roll his eyes, he uses his brawn before his brain, and he's often surprised enough to gasp. He's not afraid to look impressed or astounded or even frightened: he wears his emotions on his sleeves, but he can hide them just as quickly. This Sebastian lives for attention from humans, but what he loves even more is learning from them — perhaps so he can become a better hunter, perhaps so he can become a better scholar. He leaves you wondering which in the most intriguing way.
And I may be biased, but Yuta to me is the most paternal of all the Sebastians. Whether or not a fatherly nature is intended, I'm at least happy to report that his Sebastian is not one romantically inclined towards Ciel. His coworker is an actual child, so there's no reason that should be an acceptable angle anyway, but it really shows in all the little ways he primps at and supports Ciel on-stage. His rapport with Reo is especially adorable and shines through in their every scene.
Not to mention, he's so endlessly entertaining to watch. He has legs for days and he can fuckin groove. He may be playing a demon but he has the voice of an angel. If I called him to my house, he'd probably fix my leaky shower. What can't this gift of a man do??
I could literally go on and on and on for paragraphs. Yana is just the same. We all love Yuta Furukawa, the only Sebastian who is more Sebastian than Sebastian and probably the best thing, in my humble opinion, to come out of the Kuroshitsuji franchise. Thank you, based Yunbastian. We did nothing to deserve you.
