Rent It Or Relent It: A Social Study In Middling Movies

...is a deconstructive movie critique of "mediocre" movies from the past 20 years couched both in social commentary and personal insight. There are numerous blogs on the internet that casually critique popular movies as either "bad" or "good," a la Rotten Tomatoes. "RIORI" tackles the movies that were deemed lackluster according to the movie machine. Meaning not all bad films were bad, nor all good films were good based against industry standards. "RIORI" is all about dialogue regarding the "misfits" released from Hollyweird, and perhaps may deserve a second look. There may be "diamonds in the rough" to appreciate out there.

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Balls to the wall. Cuz "Rent It Or Relent It" drives stick.

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RIORI Presents Installment #226: Bruce Malmuth & Sylvester Stallone's "Nighthawks" (1981)

The Film… The Players… Sylvester Stallone, Billy Dee Williams, and Rutger Hauer, with Persis Khambatta, Nigel Davenport, Joe Spinnel, and Lindsay Wagner. The Story… Deke and Fox are two of a kind. They are skilled undercover cops. Nighthawks since they keep a nocturnal beat. Busting muggers, drug dealers, violent crackheads. All in a days—night’s—work. When the moon falls down the rats come out…

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RIORI Presents Installment #225: Roland Emmerich's "Moonfall" (2022)

The Film… The Players… Halle Berry, The Story..   The Rant… Did you ever notice that the legend of the werewolf has no definitive source? We have Stoker’s masterpiece summing up all the nasty details that makes vampires vampires. Shelly’s seminal Frankenstein has informed us that f*cking around in nature’s domain will soon yield Freddy Kruger, Michael Myers, or Jason Voorhees. There are myriad…

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RIORI Presents Installment #224: Don Bluth & Gary Goldman's "Titan A.E." (2000)

The Film… The Vocals… Matt Damon, Drew Barrymore, Bill Pullman, Nathan Lane, Janeane Garofalo and John Leguizamo, with Tone Lōc, Jim Breuer and Ron Perlman. The Plot… The year is 3028. A groundbreaking scientific experiment known as “The Titan Project” incurs the wrath of the Drej, a hostile race of aliens made of pure energy. The motive of their invading Earth is unclear, but Prof Sam…

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Space. The final frontier. These are the voyages of the movie blog "Rent It Or Relent It."

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RIORI Presents Installment #222: DJ Caruso's "Eagle Eye" (2008)

The Film… The Players… Shia LaBeouf, Michelle Monaghan, Billy Bob Thornton, Rosario Dawson, and Anthony Mackie, with Michael Chiklis, Bill Smitrovitch, Ethan Embry, and Cameron Boyce. The Plot… Stanford dropout Jerry (LaBeouf)  learns that his brother, an Air Force officer has been killed in the line of duty. Not long after the funeral, Jerry finds a large sum of money in his bank account,…

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RIORI Presents Installment #224: Christophe Gans' "Silent Hill" (2006)

Up up down down left right left right A B select start "Rent It Or Relent It"

The Film… The Players… Radha Mitchell, Laurie Holden, Sean Bean, Kim Coates, Alice Krige, and Joelle Ferland. The Plot… Rose takes her adopted daughter, Sharon, to the town of Silent Hill in an attempt to unravel the mystery of her sleepwalking towards a place she’s never been to. After a violent car crash, Sharon disappears and Rose begins a horrific journey to get her back. The Rant… Okay.…

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RIORI Presents Installment #222: Christopher McQuarrie's "Jack Reacher" (2012)

"If you don't read the newspaper you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, then you're misinformed." "Rent It Or Relent It" loves Mark Twain.

  The Film… The Players… Tom Cruise, Rosamund Pike (and her chest), David Oyelowo, Jai Courtney, Richard Jenkins, and Joseph Sikora, with Robert Duvall and Warner Herzog (!?!). The Intro… Hey, welcome back aboard the Tom Cruise! For those who may have missed it the first time RIORI is running a mini marathon through Cruise’s lesser movies from the aughts. This installment disembarks here. Hope…

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RIORI Presents Installment #221: Steven Spielberg's "War Of The Worlds" (2005)

Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do. "Rent It Or Relent It" is so very lost.

  The Film… The Players… Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto and Tim Robbins (with narration courtesy of Morgan Freeman). The Plot… The aliens have landed, and their strategic invasion threatens the very existence of humanity. This catastrophic nightmare can’t mean the last hurrah for humankind; Earth on the brink of extinction. Could it? Well, perhaps not humanity as a…

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RIORI Presents Installment #220: James Mangold's "Knight And Day" (2010)

It’s 10 PM. Do you know where your children are? “Rent It Or Relent It’s” rifling through the freezer in search of popsicles.

The Film… The Players… Tom Cruise, Cameron Diaz, Peter The Plot… Talk about how opposites attract. June works her weeks managing classic car restoration, yet she’s not keen on driving. Roy is a special agent with no such pedestrian occupation. But he can drive. Some might say he’s in overdrive. He’s got an important mission to complete. More like an errand of mercy, and he needs an accomplice,…

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RIORI Presents Installment #219: Cameron Crowe's "Vanilla Sky" (2001)

Trust In God, but lock your car. "Rent It Or Relent It" has a slim jim. "Rent It r Relent It" doesn't have a car. Oops.

The Film… The Players… Tom Cruise, Penelope Cruz, Cameron Diaz, Jason Lee, and Kurt Russell, with Timothy Spall, Noah Taylor, and Tilda Swinton. The Plot… David is the owner of a large publishing company. He’s upwardly mobile, knows all the right people and a bon vivant. He’s also in prison, accused of murder and wearing a prosthetic mask. He never killed anyone. However there was the time he…

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RIORI Presents Installment #216: Morten Tyldum's "Passengers" (2016)

That's no moon. That's... "Rent It Or Relent It!"

The Film… The Players… Chris Pratt, Jennifer Lawrence, Michael Sheen, Laurence Fishburne and Andy Garcia (for about 30 seconds). The Plot… The Avalon, a starborn luxury liner has over 5000 people in hibernation, She’s traveling from Earth to the planet Homestead II, a rich planet full of endless possibility. It’s a 120-year long journey, however. After only 30 years en route an asteroid…

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RIORI Presents Installment #215: Seth Gordon's "Identity Thief" (2013)

Does eating while pooping count as multitasking? "Rent It Or Relent It" could hardly give a sh*t...

The Film… The Players… Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy, with Amanda Peet, John Cho, Robert Patrick, Tip Harris, Genesis Rodríguez, Eric Stonestreet, Morris Chestnut, Johnathan Banks, Jon Favreau and a partridge in a pear tree. The Plot… Sandy is an upstanding citizen. He’s a family man, clean cut…and a chump. He’s always two steps behind opportunity, always guarded and always worried. His…

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RIORI Needs A Break...

The Intermission…  Welcome back, True Believers. I’ll keep this brief after the Stealth epic. That installment has left me drained, and I feel a break is order. Despite the $300 I dropped weeks ago renewing my WordPress account. I gotta take a vacation from all these mediocre movies salivating in my NetFlix queue, champing at the bit to be ripped to shreds or get pats on the head. In sum RIORI is…

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RIORI Presents Installment #214: Rob Cohen's "Stealth" (2005), Part 2

"Rent It Or Relent It" shoulda taken the blue pill...

The Film… The Intro… Hey, welcome back. Glad you could make it. Pull up a chair and have some popcorn. It’s my special recipe. It’c contains rum. Anyways, here we are at the landmark three-part shredding of Stealth. This time out we might actually get to deconstruct the dang film. Might. For those of you who may have missed/ignored the prior installment The Rant, part 2… This is going to get a…

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RIORI Presents Installment #214: Rob Cohen's "Stealth" (2005), Part 1

"Rent It Or Relent It'" took the blue pill...

The Film… The Players… Josh Lucas, Jessica Biel, Jaime Foxx and Sam Shepard, with Joe Morton, Richard Roxburgh, Ian Bliss, Ebon Moss-Bachrach and (the voice talent of) Wentworth Miller. The Plot… Technology is amazing.   The U.S. Navy has designed an elite AI fighter jet designed to study the habits of human pilots. Essentially a bot meant to generate strategic dialogue. Eventually the top…

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RIORI Presents Installment #213: Travis Knight's "BumbleBee" (2018)

"Rent It Or Relent It" doesn't care about your pronouns...

The Film… The Players… Haylee Steinfeld, Jorge Lendeborg Jr., Pamela Aldon, Stephen Schneider, Jason Ian Drucker, Jon Ortiz and John Cena, with the voices of Dylan O’Brien, Angela Bassett, Justin Theroux and Peter Cullen. The Plot.. Teenager Charley Watson is desperate for a ride. And we ain’t talkin’ Uber here.   Thanking or cursing her late dad’s motor addiction she tools around the local…

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