Daniel Molloy @reporter-boy-blog - Tumblr Blog

fivehundredyearsyoung.

You always know how to say the sweetest things, beloved.

Should I take this to mean that you’re cancelling our plans for this evening? I would hate to interrupt the flow of writing.

I know. I’m the sweetest. Aren’t I? Oh. Well. No. I’m not cancelling. Are you cancelling?

fivehundredyearsyoung.

Hm. I may need to get my cellphone checked. I think it just chimed the requiem bell of your imminent demise.

Apparently if I talk to Fareed he could probably clone you. I’ll request a slightly dumber version.

I’m not scared. You can’t intimidate me. I’m impervious to your meanness.

That’s hurtful. I’m wounded. Go ahead. I’ll get a clone of you made, too. That way when I tell you to go fuck yourself, you can take it literally. Since you won’t be getting any action from me.

Too busy writing fanfiction, you know?

fivehundredyearsyoung.

I hope you’re still fully insured for that nerve I just struck.

And if you’re going to divulge more blender jokes, I doubt there is anything new I haven’t already heard.

I’m going to strike you down, you little man.

Let’s not talk about blenders. Want me to bring up your Easy Bake Oven episodes? That apartment will never get the smell of the shit you melted inside of it out of the walls. How about when you discovered Purple Rain and decided purple velvet frock coats were making a comeback? Five years too late. I can keep going.

fivehundredyearsyoung.

Do you think they would like to know what Mulder and Scully were doing behind that digsite? Or your Chandler/Monica/Joey bit of masterclass writing? I don’t lie, beloved.

I just gather lots and lots of blackmail material for use at just the right time.

That’s total bullshit! STOP. You’re being a dick! Don’t make me start telling secrets about your obsessions. Because I’m about to dish some truth instead of FALSEHOODS and RUMOR SPREADING.

fivehundredyearsyoung.

You’re a bold one to talk about other people’s written works of fiction, xxbutterflyxx69.

Or did you think I wouldn’t rat you out to them?

This is all a fucking lie.

talamascan-miller.

Oi! They’ve gotten better about being more, uh, morally responsible with their choices. A kinder, gentler Talamasca. It helps that most of the overzealous ones were weeded out a few years back. Not so likely for random, vaguely threatening letters to get sent out to supernatural groups. Awkward.

I’ve been in this for a while, yeah. I just look young. It’s good genetics. That, and operating off a diet of coffee, cigarettes and sarcasm tends to help keep the wrinkles away. How do those random ads go? “Dermatologists hate him!” Like that.

If you ever want a personal tour of the Motherhouse, I’m sure I could get you in. It’s really not as dusty as they’d lead you to believe.

Aw. Weird guys who have stalker obsessions with the paranormal have suddenly gotten morally responsible towards the ones they bring under their wing? That’s a nice change. “Weeding out” is a good way of putting it. Let’s stick to that. Sounds better than an awful lot of them turned up dead, huh?

That’s my favorite kind of diet. Worked great for me until the drugs and alcohol sort of counteracted it. Thank God for blood fixing that reflection I saw towards the end. Anyway. Moving on.

Sure. I’d love a tour. I don’t mind dusty. I’ll return the favor even. But let’s keep the location a mystery until we meet. Too many prying eyes here. Too many “NO DANIEL DON’T YOU DARE”s that I’d rather avoid. They get annoying after a while.

And I never listen anyway. You’d think they’d learn but they don’t.

So good to see you here again :)

Hello there. Good to see you, too. Whoever you might be. Come say hi if you’d like. I promise to behave myself. Most of my sarcastic, witty charm is reserved for those I love dearly. Or, oddly enough, also those who I can’t really stand. Not sure what that says about me but..I am who I am. Always have been. Always will be.

talamascan-miller.

There’s not really an extensive hiring process when it comes to joining the Talamasca. I mean, nothing that I’ve seen consistently over a decade of being attached to it. Much of the time I think they just go out onto the streets, find whatever person looks like they wouldn’t be scared shitless if confronted with bleeding walls or hellish screams, and offer them a position. Fuck, even the coffee delivery guy needs to handle the occasional supernatural occurrence.

I mostly handle the computers here. Sometimes they send me out on the field with different Divisions to make sure they don’t fuck their equipment up too badly. That means on some nights I get to deal with Aliens all X-Files style and other times I go wading through swamps because enough drunk gator hunters reported seeing the Honey Island Swamp Monster.

I’m driven enough to be useful and lazy enough not to commit to any particular Division. Guess that makes me a jack-of-all-trades and a master of none.

A respectable title. I can appreciate that. Thing about being a jack-of-all-trades is you get to play off anything you don’t want to do as you not knowing anything about doing it. Trust me. I didn’t live a life in the media circus of journalism and radio not to realize when it’s best to play the dumb game while taking everything in that could be of use to me.

It’s nice to have your fingers in as many pies as possible while being overlooked because someone else is “more suited” to do the dirty work. Kudos to you for pulling it off.

Pretty sure your coffee guy deserves a raise for putting up with that and still coming back time and time again. You might want to get him a gift card for Christmas to say thanks. Poor guy just wanted to barista his ass off and now he has to worry about Linda Blair following him home. Not nice to do to someone.

You been in this long? You don’t look old enough to be. Then again. From what I gander? The Talamasca has no problem with child labor if the kid’s odd enough to draw their attention.

#places i call home #new york city #daniel things #photos

berfrois

On some nights I still believe that a car with the gas needle on empty can run about fifty more miles if you have the right music very loud on the radio.

Hunter S. Thompson (via berfrois)

#Hunter S. Thompson #daniel things #quotes

talamascan-miller.

Oh, you know. I’m into the same stuff as your typical, every day kinda dude. Long walks on the beach, constant existential crisis, scraping up Bigfoot shit in the Ozarks in the middle of winter, video games – the norm.

Dude. If you were to leave lace underwear as some kinda Talamascan bait, you’d send the Division into a frenzy of speculation for a month. The antics of you guys are pretty much the equivalent of a Spanish telenovella for people in the Motherhouses. They wouldn’t know what the fuck to do with such a scandal.

And I’m one of those really dumb ones that tends not to be too afraid of the things that go bump in the night. Oops.

You had me at Bigfoot shit.

I mean..how does one go about seeking that out as a potential career choice. Do you put that on a resume right underneath your school credentials? Just curious.

I think a trip to Victoria’s Secret is in order then. Can’t have them finding something cheap in there. I want them to think I like to be sexy. Give them something to rant about for at least a week or two.

Is it an oops though? Like for real? Because if you’re not afraid of “things that go bump in the night” while knowing fully well what exactly makes the noise? Then I’m not thinking it’s an oopsie moment. What are you currently studying? Give me a little hint? Minus the colossal sized turd stories.