[c-a-r-n-i-f-i-c-i-n-a]

[p-a-r-a-n-0-i-d]

[d-i-a-b-o-l-i-s-m-s]

[deathly-awake]

You Beauty

[thiniing]

[sexemulators]

People must learn to hate and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love.

Nelson Mandela (via quotethatword)

[uvre-deactivated20160506]

[confessionsabouted]

34465) I’m relapsing again but I don’t know how to reach out to my bf because we’re too focussed on our son.

[markmcevoy]

Bad idea

[trilllions]

[kis-met]

‘Recovery is a journey, not a final destination.’ I’ve heard/seen some form of that quote everywhere lately… and it’s true. But it’s very frustrating. How do you know when you’ve reached recovery? You keep going when your eating disorder is screaming and kicking and crying and begging for you to relapse. Sometimes you slip into disordered behavior, and your eating disorder feels like a warm blanket, or like home. It’s what you know, what feels natural, what you’ve learned to see as something you deserve. Recovery is the process of challenging the thought that you don’t deserve happiness. It is telling yourself that you will keep fighting because there was life before your ED. Maybe your muscles remember what happiness feels like even if you can’t recall exact dates or replay those memories with crystal-clarity like a movie. Maybe the people who love you but have been too afraid to say anything can still remember a time when you laughed at their jokes or wanted to do something other than sleep all day. Your parents have seen you change. When was the last time there was light in your eyes? Your favorite teacher or professor notices the days when you say less in class and when you doubt yourself more. The people who love you notice when you aren’t there, mentally or physically. That one moment when it hits you… do you know what I’m talking about? Maybe it happens in dozens of little moments. But there is one instance when part of you realizes that this is not living because you can’t remember the last time you weren’t thoroughly miserable. Historically, war has happened in separate battles. In recovery, you are the commander and all of the soldiers and the enemy all rolled into one. The casualties build up over time. Recovery is one memorial after another. It is mourning loss but also celebrating every victory. It is facing defeat and feeling discouraged when one battle goes wrong, but it is also the fire inside of you to win the war.

K.N.

“You just have to keep going because you have faith in the idea that one day it won’t be so hard, and one day you will see that people care about you and you’ll be able to care about yourself because you are loved and so, so worthy of health and happiness.”

(via fragile–fighter)

Okay, so you all know how CAED does private advice if you ask? This is part of something I just sent to one beautiful follower. I hope it helps.

- K

(via confessionsabouted)

[howlyshit]

[amargedom]

A great future doesn’t require a great past.

William Chapman (via amargedom)

happy new year

(via besenkammer)

[drinkt0forget-deactivated202303]

I was only eighteen and yet I felt as if I had already lived life enough.

5:39pm (via drinkt0forget)

[m3mories]

[plussitive]

[trilllions]

[depressingxthings]