This message was brought to you by someone inspired by a chapter in their Environmental Science book and the A they received in the class. Leave the potential alone, communicate, and be good to yourself.
One of the biggest lessons I've learned recently is as follows:
If someone wants you, they will get you. If someone wants to talk to you, they will talk to you. If they want to see you, they will see you. So on & so on.
In theory, these are very straightforward statements to understand. However, when life, love or lack thereof, and intimacy are thrown into the equation...... things tend to go left (mentally, emotionally, and physically).
Here's a scenario I'm sure a few of us have experienced:
Girl meets boy. (Or whatever one may identify as and with) They talk. They share mutual interests. They share a couple laughs or pain over shared experiences. Then it happens.
You realize that this person has potential.
What might this potential be? Well it depends on the situation. For many of us, this potential falls into two categories, and if one is lucky... it's felt mutually. The two categories are romantic potential and sexual potential.
Now between the two people, the considered potential may vary. One can look at their dealings and think of romantic potential. Could a relationship bloom? Could I spend the rest of my life with this person? We'd look good togethers and We compliment each other so wells. On the opposite end of the spectrum, the other could be thinking solely of sexual potential. What it would be like to go to the "next level" with the other. The feelings and pleasure that might come from connection on a physical, intimate level. What friends might think, etc, etc, etc.
Let's make something clear: It's possible to look at something in light of both of these categories of potential. However, the stickiness appears when we address whether or not the feeling is mutual. One person could be imagining weddings and back shots, while the other is only thinking of a quick sexual fix. This happens more often than not. Why is that? Co-mmu-ni-ca-tion!!!! With a lack of communication, shambles are truly to follow.
One can often hear me say that God is constantly teaching me a lesson in communication and solitude, but that's a post for another day. Regardless, one thing has been emphasized through my failed experiences with romance and, hell, sexual intimacy. Communication is mandatory. It HAS to occur. If not, things can become skewed and yucky and just letsleaveitaloneforevaaaaa-ish.
A lack of communication can result in wasted time, hurt feelings, wasted time, assumptions, and did I say.... wasted time!?! It can result in soul ties, lessons on life, and new outlooks. Honestly speaking, depending on the type of person you are, it could leave you scarred. Scarred and scared of trying again. Emotionally vulnerable.
If I could go back into time, I'd avoid all of the communication related mistakes I've ever made:
I'd abandon my fear of what the other might think and address things head on.
I'd ask what the hell we're doing.
I'd have us treat our situations for exactly what they are: potential romance or simply a sexual escapade.
I'd avoid the runarounds.
I'd dead any communication with someone that wasn't showing reciprocity.
I wouldn't try to bridge a gap that was intentionally being created, over and over.
I'd pay attention to signs.
I'd see someone's true colors and take them for what they were instead of trying to paint a different picture.
Most importantly, I'd put myself first. Myself, myself. Not my vagina.
While we love her, she's not the best at thinking and she tends to get us in more trouble than we think. I'd show myself more love so that I could stop trying to find it in people who were never giving it. I'd understand that people will treat you the way they want to treat you, regardless of what you may do. I'd understand that reciprocity doesn't exist for a lot of people. Decency is absent too. I'd take these seeds of wisdom and plant them in my garden of knowledge and understanding.
While most days my garden is still a work in progress, I can truly say that these seeds have bulldozed their way into my life and soil. Moving forward, I know that I cannot be afraid of vulnerability and asking questions. I know that I have to see people for who they are and not get lost in my fantasies. I know that saying these things is easier said than done. That's okay.
What's not okay is allowing someone to string you along or even allowing yourself to be strung on or mistreated under the assumption that love could arise. Realize that potential is potential until it's put in motion. Yanno? The difference between potential energy and kinetic energy. Leave the potential alone, communicate, and be good to yourself.
