Just another day on the job for Inspector Clyde. Today he was going down to interview Butters about Kyle's mysterious rape. Butters had literally nothing to do with this case but Clyde was totally out of ideas and Butters always had fresh-baked banana bread and other tasty treats on hand. Also Butters could blather like an idiot for a while. Once, while Clyde had been digging buttercream frosting out of the inside of a cupcake and licking it off of his fingers, he had realized that Butters was admitting to running a stop sign. "There was no one around and I didn't hurt nobody, but gosh, I feel so guilty!"
Clyde had whipped out his handcuffs. "You're under arrest," he said, smearing frosting all over them. "Wait, these are all greasy now, give me a sec." It took Clyde a moment to get them open.
"I thought this was a social call," Butters had wailed. He later spent the night in jail, with no one to furnish his $130 bail. Meanwhile, the Park County Prowler had raided eight jewelry stores that night.
"Butters, Seriously," Clyde said, shoveling coconut cream pie into his mouth. "Are you sure you don't know who raped Kyle?"
"Sure as sugar," Butters admitted glumly, playing with the hem of his shirt. "I mean, Eric says he did it, doesn't he? It's awful, just ghastly."
"Yeah, but you can't really" -- Clyde made air quotes -- "believe him, can you?"
"I don't know," said Butters. "I only know about the law because I watch CSI, and also because of my law degree, so what would I know about it? But I kinda figured if he confessed, you know, that means he did it. Maybe."
"Maybe," said Clyde. He was going to have to ponder this one for a long time. "You got any coffee?"
"Oh, sure." Butters got up, gingerly.
"With cream," Clyde added. "Man, we're really burning the midnight oil here."
