Me. @rhetorically-domestic2 - Tumblr Blog

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Y'all remember when you would make an ugly face and your mama would tell you your face was going to get stuck like that? My face is probably going to get stuck because I've always got *that* look on mine.

The internet is wild.

I am so burnt out.

I've never felt like this about my job, but I have felt it bad for the last 2 weeks.

I don't even think any amount of time off would help.

When I really think about it, I think it boils down to the frustration I have with one person.

My fucking blood pressure is through the roof most days because of her.

I saw this on a video last night and honestly, I'm going to try to remind myself of this every day.

Working calmly because the company isn't mine. My paycheck stays the same regardless. Stress makes me sick. Nobody's handing out awards for burning yourself out

I hope I'm out of this funk soon.

But I fear this will last a bit longer.

In September of 2019 I asked a question under a tiktok video.

It is now 2026 and people are still liking it.

It has thousands of likes.

I have no idea why.

Family vacay starts today! My mom started the day yelling at me about politics she brought up.

It's going to be a great week!

Had a "fun" 🙄 meeting at work Friday.

The invite said cameras on and to use AI to create a "fun, beach themed background."

I literally copied and pasted "fun, beach themed background" and used the first one it spit out.

In the meeting, they put us in breakout rooms and one of the things we were supposed to discuss was what inspired our background.

What inspired mine? The fact that I was told to create a "fun, beach themed" one. That's it.

I would not have created one at all if I wasn't told we had to.

So fun.

Trying very hard to not go to the gas station for a plate lunch.

Beach in 2 weeks.

Torture.

3 things I hate so much:

1. Ice breakers

2. Breakout rooms

3. "Camera on" people

I have a meeting every Monday that starts with an ice breaker. We go around and each tell our high and low from the weekend. 90% of the time we get:

- the weather was (fill in the blank)

- the weekend wasn't long enough

- I ate a lot of food

That's it.

And then everyone just agrees.

It's such a waste of time and I fucking hate it.

Then we have people who want to make meetings "fun" 🙄 or "let's get to know each other!" 🙄 so they put us in breakout rooms.

So we sit in a group of 4-5 in mostly silence. Because no one wants to be in a fucking breakout room either.

This month, our Pride ERG has several sessions and I really want to attend them, but I have absolutely no interest in being put in a breakout room or forced to do an ice breaker, so I just won't attend. And I really hate that.

I hate that people can fuck meetings up - especially important ones - so much by trying to force "fun."

If you don't have enough content for a meeting, don't have the meeting.

And for fuck's sake stop trying to make cameras on a thing.

#how obvious is it that I'm an introvert?#one time I had an actual panic attack in the middle of a company wide meeting because I had to speak in front of everyone #and this one fuckhead thought he was so inspirational and knew everything so then he would ask everyone follow up questions forever #until he broke you down and got what he wanted #i literally sat in the bathroom hyperventilating for so long - i couldn't catch my breath and tears were streaming down my face #then i was worthless the rest of the day because i was so drained and exhausted from just trying to breathe and still panicky #i fucking hate people

I'm watching this video of a girl saying she was sexually assaulted because this guy grabbed her stomach.

Now, I'm not saying it's okay that he touched her without her consent, but...

There's also video of the same girl walking up behind other women and slapping/grabbing their asses.

But apparently, her doing that is totally okay.

#🙄

Did I have to change my pants before I left the house because they were too tight? Yeah

Did I just buy a quart of Beach Day ice cream from Baskin Robbins? Yeah

I'm not super girly. Like I don't really know how to do makeup or hair. I'm pretty plain. And I'm okay with that!

But I've realized no matter how much I dress up, I look butch. And that's completely okay if that's the look you're going for. But it's not the look I'm going for.

I feel like I never look feminine.

And I really don't like that.

#i think i even walk manly

What does it mean when you squat and your knees sound like crinkling plastic wrap?

I'm trying to fit in my clothes again, but I can't even begin to explain how much I'm struggling to not go to this specific buffet tomorrow. I've been thinking about it constantly.

Also on my mind all week:

- birthday cake (about to head out to a party)

- crumbl carmelita (planning on going after the party - help)

- french fries

- gas station food (bought it for lunch today, but made myself stop after eating half - will eat the rest for dinner)

- iced brownie at a little restaurant in town

- a specialty sandwich from a local sandwich shop

#i literally think about food nonstop and it's exhausting #how do people not think about it?

I stay hatin'

How did I get so old and ornery?

Every morning I have a meeting where I have to present some numbers for the day before and they're usually not great mainly because of one person.

She makes all these comments to me and I don't know how to respond to them. And almost every time, she has something to say about the numbers and why they're like that.

Anyways, it's gotten to the point where now, I get nervous about presenting them and it's making me a little sick to my stomach.

I shouldn't feel bad because just do it right, you know? But I do feel bad and I hate that.

Are ferns on your porch a southern thing?

I never thought they were, but I was in a meeting yesterday and everyone was talking about the weather. I mentioned my ferns and a lady from California sounded kind of surprised.

She asked if it got real humid here and then made a comment about how ferns must do well in this environment.

Just the way she sounded surprised made me wonder.

So...is it a southern thing?

I'm in a meeting and this guy just said something.

I've heard his voice twice and I forgot how nice it is.

His voice is perfect for relaxation.

I don't know him. I don't work directly with him. But I want to listen to him talk all the time.

I think I need to listen to his voice.

I mourn things I know I can't do anymore.

Sometimes I think about the past and how fun and enjoyable and worry free things were (maybe I was just young and dumb?), and I just get so sad they won't ever be that way again.

And it kind of makes me mad that I can't do things because other people can't control themselves.

It's a damn shame.

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