stanley uris is my everything @richiestoziers - Tumblr Blog

so emotional (chapter 11)

summary: eddie kaspbrak is crushing on the school’s radio host ‘records tozier’, it’s too bad they’ve never met

warnings: cursing, sexual tension, etc

read on ao3 here

eddie was on the moon, and everyone could see it. he felt like he was walking on a cloud, drifting through heaven with every breath he took. he now got that song, heaven is a place on earth, or at least it is now that he’s kissed richie tozier.

“what’s up with you?” stan asks one day, sitting across from him as the group went out for dinner.

“what do you mean?” eddie questioned, glaring at stan, a look that said ‘you know damn well what’s up, and i’ll tell you later.’

he’s starting to regret allowing stan to know, but in turn he somewhat knows his secret crush.

“nevermind.” stan smiles, mischievous, glad he knows.

“you guys are being weird” ben points out, wrapping pasta around his fork and eating some.

“no we’re not.” eddie and stan say in unison, both cursing themselves in their mind for seeming so suspicious.

“weird.” bill mutters under his breath, laughing and elbowing eddie for it. “anyway, back to the conversation of stan getting his own car.”

“if you think i have the money to get my own car you’re crazy.” stan shot back, rolling his eyes and taking a drink from his water bottle.

“well if you stopped wasting your money on uber you could use that to save up for a car.” bill pointed back, and as eddie watched he started to see more of them together.

and he started to see more that stan was much better at hiding crushes than eddie.

“if i stopped using uber and waited who knows how long to get my own car, i would never have a way to get around.” stan spoke, an informal debate going on between the two.

“well i’ll just give you rides, stan. you know that.” bill’s voice was softer as he spoke, looking into stan, and hell even eddie felt the tension between the two.

“really?” stan questioned, looking up at bill with stars in his eyes and his heart on his sleeve.

eddie liked this, looking at a romance develop, it was almost as good as being in his own.

and looking at ben, who loved love so much and was so happy for all his friends, and not getting someone to love on his own.

eddie owed it to ben to help him with beverly, ben deserved that at least.

so he did that, pulled out his phone and began to text beverly.

hey, my friend ben needs some new clothes and i’m horrible at shopping. wanna help?

never did he think he’d feel so comfortable texting beverly marsh something like this, and yet here he was.

setting his phone aside as he awaited his reply he went back to the conversation with his friends.

“well thanks bill, it means a lot.” stan looked down, trying to hide his blushing cheeks underneath his curls.

“no problem, stan the man.” bill reached over and messed up stan’s hair as he said this, inevitably starting a fight with stan who always kept himself perfectly groomed, but eddie knew he secretly loved it.

eddie’s new favorite song is so emotional, whitney houston of course, because now that he continues to think back on it that was playing when richie kissed him at the party.

he feels ridiculous, over emotional, and maybe a bit psycho to go this far and inevitably listen to it on repeat and pretend that richie’s lips are on his once more.

he is crazy, he hates it, but he can’t stop thinking about it.

richie richie richie richie richie richie richie.

it’s all the runs through his mind since the kiss, more so than usual.

he feels so crazy, and delusional maybe, because a kiss in a frat party doesn’t mean a future and yet it means something and he can only be hopeful.

he was never very optimistic, but suddenly he’s found himself all sunshine and rainbows and ready for hope in the world.

maybe that’s what potential love does, or at least a damn good kiss.

he had a few hours to get to work, until then relaxing in his apartment alone until bill came back to give him a ride, and for once in his life not having any work to do. he was tied between sitting in bed and wistfully listening to the radio station, or watching tv.

hell, he knew what to do like the back of his hand, he had been obsessed with the radio station for two years and knew marsh and records wouldn’t begin speaking for another hour. it was just music right now, and he could get in an episode of a show before going to listen to two people he now considered friends.

or at least beverly was a friend, he had no idea what richie was to him, except that there was something.

sitting upon his shared couch with bill, usually filled with all his friends but alone to himself for once, and making it easy for him to watch whatever he wanted without a fight from his friends. failure to launch or pretty woman?

pretty woman.

playing the movie and risking missing some of their radio show to finish it, which he considered some self control on his part. a well needed break from his richie tozier addiction, one only heightened since he got a taste of his lips.

though his control wasn’t complete, because once the movie ended and the credits played, he jumped to his bed and turned the radio on, losing himself in the voice of the boy he was crazy for.

he woke up with a jolt, having dozed off after the show and still in his jeans with drool falling out of his mouth. he recoiled in disgust, rushing to the bathroom to clean himself and wash his hands, even his own saliva disgusting him. he was so busy getting clean he almost forgot what it was that woke him up, the loud ping from his phone and an awaiting text on the screen.

wiping his hands dry and clean he eyed his phone, following it like a moth to the light, confused as to who could be texting him at this time. it’s only when he sees the name he remembers the text he sent early to beverly.

yeah, wanna go this weekend?

perfect, things were going just as he planned. if he was going to be happy shouldn’t his friends be too? it’d be unfair for him to be the only one finally getting some attention from his unattainable crush.

see you then!

life seemed so perfect, felt so perfect, the way richie’s lips felt perfect against his own. eddie was in heaven.

too bad he didn’t remember they weren’t official, they had only kissed once, but even just that tiny kiss was enough to blind him from the potential that things might not go how he expected.

only time would tell, but either way eddie kaspbrak wasn’t prepared for the future in the slightest, he was too busy living in his perfect present.

and just when he thought nothing could get better than this, that familiar ding of his phone getting a notification rang in his ear, fully shooting him into the sky.

mind if i bring richie?

he responded right away to beverly’s text, not even caring about seeming cool anymore.

not at all.

“hey ben,” eddie started his devious plan with positive intentions breeding through, planting the seeds to set everything up. “wanna go shopping with me this weekend? we both need some new clothes anyway, and richie and beverly are coming.”

he tried to make it sound nonchalant, like richie and beverly were the same as stan and bill, not the two people they had been crushing on since they first saw them walk by. it was nice to say it like that, making eddie think of a future where it is casual, where they are normal friends or maybe more. if this plan went the way he wanted, then they would be.

ben choked on the water eddie had given him, the liquid splashing on his face and falling to his shoes, and he rushed to get a towel as he wiped his face clean and coughed the rest. eddie tried to suppress a laugh, knowing he would have given the same reaction, but he couldn’t hold a chuckle back enough.

“oh thanks, asshole.” ben teased, finally composing himself and shoving eddie for laughing at his misfortune.

this only made eddie laugh more, tiny tears falling out of his eyes and he quickly wiped them away and took a deep breath to calm down. “sorry, sorry, but it was funny. you gotta admit that,” he teased, giving an amiable smile to ben. “anyway, do you wanna go or not?”

eddie can see the apprehension radiating off ben, and he was more sympathetic for his plight that he himself has been through so many times than annoyed at him. ben looked down at his feet, like he was thinking it over but eddie could see the wave of insecurity flash over his eyes.

“i don’t know eddie, it might be weird?” he tries to give a reason why not to go out of nervousness, but they both know there’s no real reason that could work.

“oh come on, ben. it won’t be weird. i’ll be there, and beverly’s so nice, and you’ve already met. it’s going to be fine.” it was weird for eddie to be like this, but the world be damned if anyone got in the way of him seeing richie that night.

ben’s demeanor didn’t change even after eddie’s attempt at comforting words, and he continued to repeat “i don’t know.” to him.

“ben, i already told beverly you were going. you can’t back out, please. it’ll be fun.” eddie was never once to advocate for going outside ones comfort zone, but desperate times called for desperate measures. anyway, his most uncomfortable zones had to do more with germs than socializing. he can go shopping with them, he’d just make sure he had a mini hand sanitizer in his fanny pack.

“are you sure?” he questioned, but eddie could see he was finally getting through with him.

“yes, i’m sure, and if you hate it we can find some excuse to leave early.” eddie might have to do that himself, not fully sure how things would go with richie and him after their last interaction.

ben rubbed his face with his hands, hiding it behind them for a second before dragging them down with a huff. “fine, i’ll go.”

eddie almost squealed with excitement, almost, but he kept his cool and just smiled at him. “it’ll be fun. trust me.”

the rest of the days leading up to saturday maintained his normal schedule; work and study. all he did was work and study, that’s all he’d done for so many years of his life, but this saturday would be a reprieve from the mundane routine of his life and hopefully further push him into a world where he felt fulfilled or like he was doing something to be remembered.

or at least he would get to hang out with his crush, which is something he never could’ve said before. he had requested the full day of saturday off, not wanting to feel rushed or have to ruin what he hoped would be a good day with rowdy customers and cleaning sticky tables. while he had gotten much better with his hypochondria, the idea still threatened to push him into a borderline panic attack.

him and ben were waiting at the mall food court for their more popular counterparts, both of them twiddling their hands with nervous jitters, trying to find something to do as a distraction. they could barely even talk to each other, so busy being in their own heads to talk about their same feelings to each other.

finally they spotted them, both their postures immediately straightening as their eyes were drawn to the bright red hair like a flame that stood out amongst the crowd. eddie quickly looked to the right of her, being drawn to the boy who towered over her, black curls unruly and unkempt, and begging for eddie to touch them.

the two pairs waved at each other as they drew near, eddie and ben much more uncomfortable as richie and bev moved with ease, seemingly not a thought in their head. if anything this made the two more nervous, and while they both tried not to show it on their face, it was plastered all over it.

“hi guys.” bev greeted them, giving them each a hug, and eddie could see ben shaking at something as minimal as that.

both of the boys said hi together, and it felt like slow motion as eddie turned to look up at the one he had really been looking forward to seeing. there he was, the man who had taken over his mind and clouded all his judgement.

“hi richie.” eddie stuttered out, wanting to smack himself for seeming so pathetic.

richie hadn’t even fully looked at him until then, but when he did eddie almost melted on sight. those big brown eyes warm as they looked down at him, scanning his body with a look eddie had never seen before but it made his knees weak and he knew it was something good.

his smile was always wide, his big mouth causing it to be, and eddie found that fitting that not only did he have a big mouth figuratively but literally too. perfect for trash talking, heart stopping smiles, and the best kiss of his life.

“hey eddie.” richie’s voice came out almost in a sing song tune, teasing, flirting in such a subtle way only eddie could tell (and maybe beverly if she really focused). if eddie had taken a step back from richie’s deep brown eyes he would see beverly was too busy attempting a conversation with ben who mumbled under his breath as he tried to find the proper words in response to her. richie’s cool voice was broadcasted to the entire school, but for now it was just eddies to hear.

that tiny part of his brain that was reckless (and never got used) was now wishing it was just them two. wishing he had reached out to richie himself and asked him to hang out, or on a date, but he knew without the other two there he would be like ben and just clam up around his crush.

then again he didn’t need to worry about his words if his lips were pressed against richie’s.

he wanted to chastise himself mentally for these thoughts, feeling dirty for focusing too intently on richie’s lips and wanting nothing more than to leave this place and make out in his car. he had to remind himself there was no reason to feel shame, they were technically adults, and his mother wasn’t here to judge him.

“it’s nice seeing you again.” eddie stumbled out while in his trance at richie’s mouth, finally breaking himself out of it to turn to beverly, “you too beverly.”

she smiles back at him, glad to have someone break the awkwardness between her and ben.

“well let’s chow down, i’m starving and if we don’t get some food in me my stomach will revolt.” richie rushed to the group, imitating the growls of his stomach as he rubbed it, only stopping when bev slapped his hand away with a quiet laugh.

“i’m supposed to help ben shop, and i’m not that hungry. we can, if you want though?” beverly turned to ask ben, who was glaring down at eddie for using him as the excuse for them all to hang out.

eddie could only hope ben would open his eyes and see he was helping him.

“um i’m not really hungry, we can shop.” ben forced out, unable to fully look at beverly only looking at her through brief glances, meanwhile his eyes begged eddie to come with them and not leave him alone with his crush.

eddie opened his mouth to agree and leave with them, but the feeling of richie’s arm falling around his shoulder and his loud voice cutting through stopped him dead in his tracks. “you two can shop and ed and i can eat. don’t make me eat alone, come on.”

he looked up at richie, who towered over him and who’s arm felt like a weight on his shoulders, as if he was an angel. an angel with unruly hair, a big mouth and crooked nose, but an angel none the less. his angel, if he was going to go full cheese (which he always did).

he couldn’t even bring himself to respond, just nodding his head in agreement and happy to see that made richie smile even more.

“okay, eddie and i will go eat while you two shop, perfect. i’ll text you when we’re done and want to meet up?” richie asked beverly, his arm not leaving eddie yet.

“sounds good, see ya later.” bev responded, smiling and waving at them, while ben gave eddie a look of distress.

ben, this is good for you, and this is definitely good for eddie.

once they were alone richie picked up his long legs and began to strut towards the food, his arm around eddie’s shoulder dragging him along and forcing him to go at the same speed of him, of course eddie didn’t mind. “come on eds, we’ll have some fun.”

“some fun just watching you eat?” he questioned, trying to ignore the racing heart and anxiety in his veins and talk to richie like he wasn’t the guy he had been crushing on for forever.

“well after i eat we can have some fun, duh.” richie stated as if it was so obvious, which it might have been to anyone but eddie.

“fun doing what?” it came off flirty to richie, like eddie was playing coy on purpose, when in actuality he was truly just clueless.

richie cocks his head to the side as he looks down at him, ordering his food quickly before answering his question. “what do you think?”

eddie honestly still had no idea, but stayed silent at the risk of sounding like an idiot in front of him.

they stayed silent as richie waited for his food, which wasn’t too long before he grabbed the tray and brought them to one of the few empty tables in the food court. looking around eddie wondered how anyone could eat here, the tables were rarely clean and people always left a mess, and it was so crowded. just breathing in the air here made him feel sick and want to run to the bathroom to throw up, but years of trying to heal from those instincts stopped him and instead he rubbed his hands on his thighs as a nervous tick.

“are you okay?” richie questioned, his mouth full and making eddie grimace in disgust.

“i’m fine, and you shouldn’t talk with your mouth open.” no crush would stop him from chastising such disgusting behavior.

richie answered back with a full, open smile showcasing every bit of food that was in his mouth. eddie shrieked with disgust making richie laugh, and if it was anyone else eddie would be running for the hills but since it was richie it was kind of...charming. how little he cared, how no stress or anxiety got to him, and how he didn’t care what people thought of him. it was refreshing, it was everything eddie liked about him.

eddie was surprised at the speed at which richie could eat, and the amount of food he could fit in his mouth. he ate like there was no time for it, like he had to rush and do it quickly, and not leave even the smallest bit on his plate.

he wiped his mouth quickly with a napkin as a pathetic attempt to get clean, getting up without a word and throwing the food away and setting the tray down. he walked away, leaving eddie to chase after him with plenty of questions.

“do you want to text beverly or do you want me to? or do you want me to text ben? so we know where to meet up with them?” he rushed the questions out quickly, the speed at which richie walked creating an odd sense of urgency.

richie walked through one of those doors that were spread around malls that were for employees only and didn’t lead to any stores rather the hallways things were exported. eddie had no time to ask what they were doing there as he followed him in before he felt his back be pressed up against the wall and richie’s lips crash onto him.

he shrieked at the suddenness of it all, his back hurting a little from the sudden force but all that was numbed once he realized who it was that was kissing him. maybe dreams do come true, and maybe they come true multiple times, and somehow kissing richie got even better.

richie was crouched down to meet eddie at his shorter height, making it able for eddie to wrap his arms around his neck and card his fingers through richie’s curly tangles.

his heart was racing so fast he thought it would burst out of his chest, both because richie was kissing him and out of fear that at any minute a worker could come in and yell at them or ban them from life. when looking at the two options, the fact that he was kissing richie made the risk of getting in trouble so worth it.

they only pulled away once they were out of breath and richie’s back ached from bending over to meet eddie’s height. eddie could feel his cheeks burning up, quickly touching them with the back of his palm to feel how hot they were and to hide the blush from richie, who was already back on his phone texting someone.

“bev’s on the second floor, let’s meet up with them.” hearing how quickly he changed subjects and moved on from what had just happened was disheartening for eddie, leaving him to wonder what exactly had just happened.

he stood where he was as richie went back to the door to leave, turning to look back and wait for eddie to follow. he did silently, dejected and hurt and ready to leave. he reached the door, waiting for richie to move the handle and let them out, because being so close to him was suffocating after all that just happened in such a short amount of time.

his body tensed up as he felt richie’s hot breath on his ear, whispering something down to him. “i hate to leave, because you’re just so addicting.”

every time he thinks he’s out, richie draws him back in again.

then again, eddie doesn’t mind being played like a yo yo if richie keeps kissing him like that.