The Mad Little Man Sat in a Shadow

G-A-S...T... I believe there's another T... It just occurred to me that I'm illiterate... And I've never actually had to spell it out loud before. Olivier Lefou || 33 || Bounty Hunter || FC: James Corden

[righthandman-lefou]

un-homme-fatal:

“Bucks head aren’t in season,” he shrugged, stating it as though it was fact, before standing straight and posing for he compliment. “I know, Lefou. I’m glad somebody notices these things.”

“Oh, Bucks are a seasonal thing? Wow, Gaston, you know so much about weather changes, and, and animals, and... seasons...” Lefou trailed off for a moment as the other posed and gave a wide smile. “Well sure I notice, that’s what I’m here for.” He laid the mouse back on the table and looked the other over. “So, what are you selling, Gaston? Anything I’d want?”

[large-unpleasant-canine-blog]

Bigby thought it would be safe. The town would be drawn to the centre by the festival, and Bigby would be able to change in the forest safely, without anyone seeing him this time. It felt nice to be free at once, it wasn’t often he could scratch that niggling itch that followed him everywhere. He just didn’t expect to turn and meet human eyes this deep into the forest.

[righthandman-lefou]

Lefou stopped in his tracks when he was suddenly caught eye-to-eye with the animal he had been stalking, tiny little pistol held in front of him as he stared the animal down. It was one of the few guns that Gaston had declared suitable for a stocky little man like him, and he was ready to believe that it worked just as well. But then the animal gave him eye contact, and the man let out a huff. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m just going to shoot you. No big whoop. Don’t need to be all moody like that.”

[smartass-shock-blog]

Shock walked around the festival in her witch costume not caring that it wasn’t Halloween yet as she sucked on a lollipop. A black cat with a sever under bite followed close beside on a leash with bat wings on its back. After noticing someone staring Shock shrugged. “I know he’s already a black cat and fits with the costume, but the wings looked really cute.”

[righthandman-lefou]

“I’m not looking at those wings.” Lefou let out a loud laugh and looked down at the cat. “H-holy fuck, your cat looks like one fucked up piece of shit. You know, I could take it out back, step on it’s back or something. I’m a big lad, it won’t take much to give it the axe.”

[un-homme-fatal]

Gaston had booked a stall a while back to showcase his prowess in hunting. Only, he’d forgotten about it until that very morning, leaving him with all he could find in the ten minutes he had before he got there: a flat mouse from his basement, a raccoon, a very small rabbit that he’d ‘borrowed’ from someone else’s trap and three of his favourite guns.

He turned to the person viewing his stall with a smile. “Impressive, I know.”

[righthandman-lefou]

“Uhh...” Lefou lifted the mouse by its tail and tilted his head to the side. “I think maybe bringing a buck’s head would have gotten more people’s attention. But then again, I’m sure you just standing right there in front of this stall, just like that, all muscular and smooth, will bring all the attention you need Gaston.”

[righthandman-lefou]

megara-valis:

“Mirrors freak me out,” Meg admitted.  They weren’t anything she was used to, because they weren’t exactly a common furnishing in the Underworld.  “Women are easy to understand on that point.  They’d rather be making things feel good than they would wasting time taking measurements.” 

“Seeing your own face is that scary, eh? Think about all the people that have to see it day in-day out.” Lefou joked with a toothy grin and a nudge to her side.  “So you’re telling me that Women don’t compare vagina’s? ‘My snatch is tighter than your snatch’?”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“You shouldn’t be sucking his dick at all. He’s not doing you any favours. I don’t tease you, a good friend shouldn’t tease you.” Stan said, calling over the bartender and getting Lefou another beer, and an entire pitcher of cocktail for himself. He stuck a straw in and started sipping. “You deserve better.”

Lefou downed the rest of his drink and then huffed at Stan’s words. “I really don’t think that it’s your place to say any of that shit.” He commented, pushing the empty glass to one side and taking he second. “The teasing is just jokes. It’s guys being guys. But I guess you wouldn’t understand that.”

[righthandman-lefou]

thelionheartking:

“If you were to look at it on a modern map I’d say about, oh, you know… the entire left hand side,“ he hummed nonchalantly, picking a strand of fluff from his shirt. "I might have to, if only for the entertainment factor.”

Originally posted by htgawmsource

“Yeah, I’m just going to assume that there’s a little town somewhere in that mix and take it as a compliment. And I’ll hold you to that then, Richmond. I personally can hold a lot of beer in this gut, so prepare to get your wallet emptied.”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“If you’re living with him I can’t come over. And if you’re living with him and going out to see me he’ll ask where you’re going and tease you if you say seeing me. You’ll get bored of the teasing and we won’t see each other.” Stan said, shrugging, “I know his type. They get what they want.”

“You’re acting like he ain’t teasing me already, monsieur. I already add enough gunpowder for the fire, so why not add a little more?” Lefou raised an eyebrow to the other and looked down into his beer. “Despite popular belief, I’m not completely sucking his dick. Not yet anyway. And besides, it’s probably best that I try to have more than just one friend.”

[righthandman-lefou]

thelionheartking:

“England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales and the best side of France. But no, it’s not necessary. Unless you really feel like kneeling before me, in which case I won’t say no.”

“And which side of France would that be?” asked the Frenchman to the Brit. “Feed me enough beer, and I’ll think about it. Not making any promises though.”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“Yeah, exactly, stay away from both, get yourself a he-she.” Stan teased, nudging Lefou’s shoulder. He dropped though, when he heard Lefou was moving in with Gaston. “I guess we won’t be seeing much of each other  then. Gaston hates me.” 

“...I see what you did there.” Lefou let out a small chuckle, nudging Stan back  and then taking a sip of his beer. “He doesn’t?” Lefou was confused at first, but then he realised, “he’s seen you dressed as a girl then.” Lefou shrugged softly and then looked at the other. “Why does that mean that we won’t see anything of each other though?”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“I do, or I at least thing you should do.” Stan said, “The women here are crazy, and super low quality, you could do way better. Most of the men are pretty bad too, stay away from both.” Stan said, holding up a finger at Lefou as if warning him off.

“...If your advice is to stay away from both men and women, then I’m way ahead of you there, Stan. As in months and months ahead of you.” Lefou let out a loud laugh, shaking his head gently. “Though Gaston and Iare going to move in together soon, so I’ll at least be probably seeing some women entering and leaving my home soon enough.”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

Stan shrugged, “It’s fine, I get it. It makes people uncomfortable. Next time we meet I’ll be in boy clothes.” He said, “Because I miss drinking with you too.” He said. It had been nice, in France, having his guy friends to hang out with. Stan didn’t have that here. Not yet. Perhaps not ever. “How’s the love life, though, ‘Fou? You know all about mine.”

“...That’d be nice.” Lefou agreed, smiling softly to the other and letting out a soft sigh. “Might be able to see you as Stan and not... Stanmantha.” He scoffed holding back on his drink at the question. “You think I have an existing love life that doesn’t involve jacking off over attractive people that appear on daytime infomercials?”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“I know, I just missed you.” Stan said, flicking his hair over his shoulder. “How about we meet up when I’m not in all this. You might like me better.” Stan said, looking over his shoulder. “Do you miss France? Do you miss how we were?” 

“It’s not that I don’t like you when you’re dressed like this. I’m just...” He scratched the back of his neck and looked at Stan again. “It’s new, and I’m not used to it. I don’t think I really understand it... But, I’m trying to not putting that on you. Swear on a dog I never had, I’m trying.” Lefou looked down into his drink at the question. “France was easier. Because I thought it was simple to understand. Maybe I just didn’t know enough about it.” Lefou took another sip of his drink and looked to Stan again. “I miss being your drinking buddy, if that’s what you mean.”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“You know it’s still me, right, Fou?” Stan asked, “I mean, I know I’m in a huge wig and more makeup than Gaston has muscles, but it’s still Stan.” He said, looking around the bar. “I’ve been getting some. More than at home, obviously. And I couldn’t value your dick. I don’t put value on dicks I care about.” Stan said, turning away from Lefou and finishing his cocktail. 

“Yeah, I know, but I mean... Well, we were arguing before, right?” Lefou took another sip from his pint and then nodded. He looked at Stan for a moment at his reasoning and then slowly turned his gaze away, swallowing gently. “...I really don’t know what to say to that. Thank you? Maybe? uh.” Lefou left his mouth open as if to add something else, but just ended up laughing at his own inability to talk. “You know, it’s pretty impressive that you’ve managed to make me not know what to say. It doesn’t happen that often. Takes a good bit of skill, that does.”

[righthandman-lefou]

thelionheartking:

“I won’t say that’s untrue. Run in your own circles and all that.” He tilted his head and smiled at the broader man. “Richard, King and ruler of the Angevin Empire. And you are?”

“Oh, well look at you, king of angel-kevin. Wherever that is. Do I need to curtsy? Lefou, Champion kebab eater since about three days ago. Good to meet you.”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“Queen, not King.” Stan clarified, gesturing to the seat. “Sit down, you’re making me nervous.” He added, smiling around his straw. “When you see enough dicks you kinda get to work it out.” He said, “There’s no training, but I could teach you if you’re looking to pay for dicks.”

Lefou let out a small chuckle, mainly at himself for feeling so unsure about sitting next to Stan. He’d done it plenty, back in Gaston’s pub. All in all, this wasn’t much different. “Yeah, well, I didn’t know if you wanted me to sit here, since... something.” The man raised his eyebrows at Stan, almost giving a slightly impressed smile. “You’ve really got that much since being here then, eh? I mean, I don’t suppose you really got that much back home.” He let out a chuckle and shook his head. “I’m not looking to pay, I wanna know how much little Olivier would be able to bring in? Can he pay the bills? Buy me dinner at least?”

[stan-the-wo-man]

Open

[righthandman-lefou]

stan-the-wo-man:

“The term is drag queen.” Stan said, sipping at his cocktail and turning to Lefou. “I know the value of a dick, Lefou. I’m a pretty good judge of worth.”

“Oh. Okay, a drag... queen. Not king?” Lefou gently rested a hand on the stool next to Stan, not sure whether to take a seat or not. “I didn’t know that you could even make money off of a cock. I feel like I’ve been in the wrong job all this time.” He joked, taking another sip and giving Stan a once over. “How do you judge it then? Did you have to do training to work it out?”