rike

19 y.o. | ENTP | main blog: @missproducergirl | a rockstar trapped in a supermodel body

[rikedlc]

˗ˏˋ ★masterlist★ ˎˊ˗

➦ requests are: open

➦ masterlist is still under construction!

➦ last updated: 01-25-26

➦ latest work: rika (v; mysmes)

••••••••••••••••••••••

• Mystic Messenger •

• Mr Love Queen’s Choice •

• Tears of Themis •

• Love and Deepspace •

• Extras •

••••••••••••••••••••••

[rikedlc]

how do i block someone

[rikedlc]

my most controversial mystic messenger opinion is that 707 doesn’t have adhd. i feel like everyone is ignoring the fact that the only time he couldn’t focus on his work was when his crush was under the threat of being blown up by a literal bomb and he couldn’t do anything to protect her. even in his route everyone notes that it’s very uncharacteristic for 7 not to finish his work and that he’s usually very punctual. and when 7 comes to protect the mc in the apartment his adhd magically disappears 🤔🤔??

idk ive never been in this kind of situation before but i feel like if someone close to me was stuck with a bomb in their house i wouldn’t be able to focus on my homework but would rather be trying to find any method of rescuing them. does that mean i have adhd too? ofc 7 probably has some deep rooted mental issues but i dont think adhd is one of them

[rikedlc]

has anyone dumped the new mystic messenger ui somewhere yet? i want to use it for a project but i can’t find it anywhere! i can do it myself but i would rather download it if someone already has it on a google drive somewhere

[rikedlc]

what do you guys think of the email mini game in mystic messenger? if in a future route/dlc, cheritz announced that the emailing mini game would be switched to something else

i love emailing and WOULD throw a fit if it was replaced by smth else

i like emailing but i’m not attached to it

i’m neutral about it. neither like it nor dislike it.. it’s just there…

i dislike the mini game. the loop is too repetitive. should be replaced

i dislike emailing! there shouldn’t be a mini game at all!

Voting ended onFeb 20

[juminhandfs]

Which game? 🤌🤌

What did I miss?

[rikedlc]

emailing!

[rikedlc]

what do you guys think of the email mini game in mystic messenger? if in a future route/dlc, cheritz announced that the emailing mini game would be switched to something else

i love emailing and WOULD throw a fit if it was replaced by smth else

i like emailing but i’m not attached to it

i’m neutral about it. neither like it nor dislike it.. it’s just there…

i dislike the mini game. the loop is too repetitive. should be replaced

i dislike emailing! there shouldn’t be a mini game at all!

Voting ended onFeb 20

[rikedlc]

i don’t understand how some people can hate the mc.. mind you not only did the rfa members hide a LITERAL BOMB from her (i feel like we’re desensitized to this but there is an active bomb in the apartment), but she’s not even getting paid for her involvement in the rfa. literally the entire party rests on her (a stranger’s) shoulders!!

they’re making her preform unpaid labor while threatening to sue her if she leaves the apartment 😭😭 if i was in her shoes i’d be pissing myself and calling the police so fast. she’s better then me fr fr

[bowniee]

I started playing mysmes again and since i am doing his route I made a painting of everyone’s fav sad boi w the hilarious crippling depression

Print avaliable on my redbubble

[rikedlc]

this is my favorite piece of mysmes fanart ever. ive been looking at him every night before going for 3 months now like im a solider at war and he’s a picture of my wife in a locket

realistic 707 i love you 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️‼️‼️

[rikedlc]

• Rika •

pairing: v x reader

summary: when you first met jihyun kim on a small vacation to monte carlo, his sensitivity and tenderness attracted you instantly. as your feelings for each other grew, he spontaneously proposed to you only a few days after your initial meeting, and without a second thought, and perhaps by some naivety of youth, you agreed to marry him. not, you are thrust into a new life with a husband you barely know, surrounded by the foreign walls of his reverend house, with no allies, no friends, and no grasp on high society life. but worst of all, the ghost of rika kim, jihyun’s late wife, still seems to possess these ancient hallways, and she had returned to take back what was rightfully hers.

current total word count: 60,150

••••••••••••••••••••••••

01. Last Night I Went to the Kim Residence Again

02. The Woes of a Lady’s Companion

03. The Hound of Heaven

04. I Called Him Jihyun

05. A Hurried Departure, an Unceremonious Proposal

06. The East Wing

07. The Morning Room

08. Meeting of the Family

09. Cracks that Form Under Pressure

10. To Lead Him from the Past

11. Aren’t we Very Much in Love? What is Love Anyway?

12. I Come Back

13. Coming soon…

••••••••••••••••••••••••

Masterlist

[rikedlc]

i think that v, jumin and rika should have been aged up a little 😭😭 they just feel much more mature then the other members v alone has lived like 18 different lives as this point he’s had a successful career, BUILT a house, “adopted” a child, almost MARRIED 😭😭😭 there is NO way this man is 27

just image how hard it would have hit if v and rika were actually married for like a good solid few years before the plot of mysmes… man……

[rikedlc]

hi! i cannot believe that we are in the year of our lord 2026 and ppl still believe that saeyoung’s codename 707 is a reference to error 707 - memory cannot be erased because it is NOT! error 707 DOES NOT EXIST!!!!

nerd talk under the cut

what are the three digit error codes?

firstly, they are not error codes at all. the official name of the 3 funny numbers is http status codes. http (hyperlink transfer protocol) is the foundation of all websites on the internet. it is the thing that basically communicates between the client (you, the user) and the server. http status codes are usually 3 numbers that communicate to the user about the status of their request. for example, error 404 is a very common status code that you probably encountered. it means that the webpage or whatever else you requested could not be found. however, it doesn’t always have to be errors. for example status code 200 means that the http request was successful. every time you load a webpage, you get the status code 200, but you just never see it.

standard http status codes range from 100 - 511. status codes in the 100 - informational, 200 - success, 300 - redirection, 400 - client error, and 500 - server error.

nonstandard codes, but codes that are still used in big corporations include 440, 449, 450, 451 (microsoft IIS), 444, 494, 495, 496, 497, 499 (nginx), 520, 521, 522, 523, 524, 525, 526, 527, 530 (cloudflare), 000, 460, 463, 464, 561 (AWS elastic load balancing), 218, 509 (apache), 419 (laravel framework), 420 (spring framework), 420 (twitter), 430, 530, 540, 783 (shopify), 498, 499 (arcgis server), 508 (cpanel), 529 (ssllabs server testing), 530 (pantheon systems web platform), 999 (linkedin).

why am i listing all of these numbers??!!

because i want to show that not only does the status code 707 not exist in the standard http status code world, but it is not even used in any other large corporation! aside from shopify and linkedin, status codes do not even go up to 700!! 😭😭

of course, any rando can come up with a status code. for example, i can develop an app and make code 067 mean that your wifi router is on fire. but that doesn’t mean that it is the STANDARD for status code 067 to mean that your wifi router is on fire. you can make your own app at the same time and make status code 067 mean that a missile hit your house.

likewise, i am sure that someone out there on an unknown program made status code 707 mean that memory cannot be erased, but status code 707 also means that there is a problem in your printer’s ink cartridge if you use a canon printer. so what, is 707 a printer now who needs his ink cartridge replaced?

so what does 707 mean in the context of mystic messenger??

it is probably just a reference to james bond’s agent 007. saeyoung referenced that himself in ray’s ae. another theory is that 707 looks like LOL upside down but idk about that. but it almost definitely has NOTHING to do with the reset theory 😭😭😭

i am not a software engineer or anything and i don’t know anything about computers so if i got something wrong and you know i got something wrong and it rlly brothers you please leave a comment 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙂‍↕️🙂‍↕️

if anyone is curious to learn more about http status codes and making up your own status codes, please check out this video linked here! it is very interesting!

[rikedlc]

after i finish with my v long fic, i was thinking of writing a mission impossible/james bond inspired spy thriller long fic for 707 so if anyone has any recommendations for their favorite spy novel pls let me know i need some inspiration THANK YOU

[k4txlulzz]

im going to be that one annoying seven fan and say that he gets unintentionally demonized or slandered by canon AND fanon more often than it's acknowledged and yes that includes people shaming/vilifying saeyoung for his actions in his route; im all for him going evil i think hes too kind for his own good, which is why its annoying to see people just misinterpret CANON instead of openly making an obviously ooc headcannon.

overall, sevens way of handling emotions is policed. another story just straight up has him call himself the less nicer twin despite the fact that seven is a very tender hearted and empathetic person. all he did was not extend empathy to people who ruined his life???->all this in favor of saeran who just needs to be more palatable and "woobified" for some reason ???(ironically luciel is supposed to be characterized as the twin that has it better but another story gets weird with him. i say this as someone who likes saeran a lot btw this isnt meant to be a diss towards him the writers just fumble sometimes);

i could go on for longer but once you look closer at how some other characters talk about him at times too you cant unsee it. (ex. vanderwood! i love you vanny but some of the shit you say about saeyoung ESPECIALLY in regards to his mental health and neurodivergency is. questionable to say the least. this is another way of me saying some of this stuff can be tied to ableism if you reach enough)

if you like a character and claim to know them well, at least live up to that idk? otherwise just go choose another fave hes clearly not for you if his character writing isnt clicking ever. honorary mention to everyone making fanfics/scenarios about him cheating on you: i hope you step on a lego first thing in the mornin

[sage-nebula]

I agree with a lot of this, though I will say that Saeyoung claiming he's the "less nice" twin is because of two things:

How he idealizes Saeran as being sweet / innocent / harmless because of their childhood, and;

His incredibly low self-esteem and view of himself.

The first point is because it has been years since he last saw Saeran, and so the image of Saeran that he has in his head is the weak, fragile boy who needed Saeyoung for everything, and who (because he was an innocent child) didn't have a mean bone in his body. Even after he encounters Saeran-as-Unknown in his route, Saeyoung still doesn't let this image go; he knows that something has gone horribly wrong in Saeran's life, that Saeran has been tremendously hurt, but Saeyoung would rather blame himself for that than let Saeran accept any responsibility for the actions that he is currently carrying out. In the Secret Endings, this goes so far as Saeyoung willing to let Saeran murder him by strangulation despite the fact that he could have easily thrown Saeran off if he wanted to. Saeran could burn down a children's hospital with all the children still inside, and Saeyoung would not only immediately help hide the evidence, but would say a.) Saeran definitely had a good reason, and b.) it was his fault somehow anyway. Saeyoung loves Saeran unconditionally, and puts Saeran on a pedestal above himself as a result.

The second point isn't really related to Saeran at all, but is pretty obvious in his route. In one of the VN segments, Saeyoung talks to MC while she's asleep, and says, "This cold, icy person is me" right after saying that the 707 in the chatrooms is completely fake. And Saeyoung saying this demonstrates how his view of himself is skewed, and that he doesn't really see himself for who he is, either.

For while it's absolutely true that Saeyoung is chronically depressed and suffering from trauma, and so he does use humor to deflect and puts up a front, and also that he is a much more serious person than he lets on and can be cold and harsh if pushed / the situation calls for it . . . that is not, as Saeyoung claims, all he is. The "707 in the chatrooms" is not completely fake. Saeyoung does like to joke around. He does enjoy playing pranks. And, as you said, he is actually an extremely loving, compassionate, selfless person. He's not "cold and icy," not without reason and not all the time. But Saeyoung, because of his depression, trauma, and low self-esteem as a direct result of both, sees himself that way, because his view of himself is the polar opposite of how he views Saeran: he views Saeran as All Good, while he views himself as All Bad, and to view and treat himself with any sort of kindness feels, to him, like he's doing something wrong, being irresponsible, being selfish.

So it's not surprising or OoC for Saeyoung to say that he's the "less nice" twin; that's actually somewhat kinder to himself than he is even in his own route, where he says over and over again that he's "not a good man," that he's "cold and icy," and so on and so forth. "Less nice" still implies some semblance of "nice," which is more grace than he gave himself in his own route.

I would say the bigger way that Another Story treated him poorly was, frankly, nerfing his skills in favor of Saeran's . . . possibly to create drama, but also more likely to make Saeran look "better" in comparison. (Sort of like how they pulled the "romantic love heals him" with Saeran, when the Secret Endings portrayed his trauma far more realistically . . . or how they decided to give him DID as a way to excuse his actions by saying "it wasn't really him, it was this other personality" which is tbh super ableist . . .)

In both Saeyoung's route and the Secret Endings, it's made clear that while Saeran is also an extremely skilled hacker and genius in his own right, he's not on Saeyoung's level. And this isn't made clear in any sort of dramatic way, but when Saeyoung and MC go to Mint Eye for the first time, Saeyoung makes a comment on how the security set-up at Mint Eye has numerous security vulnerabilities, and this is expressly because Saeran skipped the basics when coding it. I.e., it's not that Saeran is incapable, but that he has not been formally trained, unlike Saeyoung who not only learned from Rika's books (as Saeran also did), but then later went on to attend programming courses in university, becoming formally trained as he worked for the agency doing the same.

But in Another Story, suddenly Saeran is just trouncing Saeyoung up and down, easily able to out-hack him . . . despite that this takes place even earlier than Casual/Deep Story, and so Saeran would have even less experience. And I can't help but feel that this was partially due to Cheritz wanting to make Saeran the Ultimate, because this was meant to be his story and his route, even though it honestly makes less sense for Saeran to be able to surpass Saeyoung's skill because he not only lacks the formal education, but also lacks the experience of going toe-to-toe with others that Saeyoung has due to his years at the agency.

Cheritz's writing in Another Story is just . . . bad, on multiple levels, but overall I do agree with you that Saeyoung is often treated poorly both in canon and in the fandom. (For as much as Vanderwood's treatment of Saeyoung is unintentionally abusive, he's also the only one who seems to give a shit when Saeyoung is being openly suicidal. The RFA is just annoyed most of the time. It's pretty gross.)

And within the fandom, from claims that Saeyoung is abusive during his route (he isn't), his treatment in fandom is often not much better. He deserves better for sure.

[rikedlc]

hii!! i totally agree with most of your points, except i think that it actually makes sense that ray is a better hacker then 707 in another story (saying this as a hardcore seven fan so not hate 😭😭😭)

i also thought, up until very recently, that it genuinely made no sense that saeran was a better hacker than seven. but then i remembered that in every other route, seven has never been up against ray before. i think that we can both agree that even though ray and saeran are the same person, their personalities are very different. ray was always gentle and careful in order to win over mc’s affection, while saeran took what he wanted by force. similarly, ray uses a more thorough but slow approach to hacking, while saeran uses methods that seem more aggressive, but in reality open him up to more vulnerabilities. seven was only losing when ray was around, but when saeran took over, he was able to beat him pretty quickly. the same thing happened in the other routes. when ray was completely fizzled out from saeran’s personality, saeran stood no chance against seven despite being a pretty good hacker himself.

furthermore, you don’t need professional training to become a hacker. it’s the same as going to university to study art. while yes, you would probably come out a better artist, it doesn’t necessarily mean that this is the only way to get good at art. there are plenty of self taught artists who rival those who had traditional training. the same thing is true for programming. also also, programming and computers are logic based. i’m sure you can agree that there are some people who are just naturally better at logic puzzles then others. it wouldn’t surprise me if, despite not having proper training, ray/saeran was just naturally more inclined towards efficient problem solving. his brain was just already wired that way without the need for professors to brute force it.

one last thing: you brought up the fact that seven’s experience at the agency gave him an advantage over saeran. while that might be true, we cannot forget that saeran had probably been working as rika’s personal hacker as well. saeran had been stalking mc for who knows how long before the plot of mystic messenger takes place. it would not surprise me if rika had tasked saeran with looking up information on other high profile figures as well, in order to manipulate or blackmail them into surrendering to her cult.

saeran and saeyoung are both in the same boat, even if they’re working for different people. their work environments, while they might seem different on the surface, are pretty much the same. if you asked me if i would rather work for an intelligence agency that doesn’t care for its informants or as a hacker for a cult that doesn’t care for its hackers, i would say that this is a stupid question before asking what the difference is.

anywayz, i have no idea if my ramblings are coherent or not, but those are just my thoughts

[rikedlc]

can anyone recommend me some well written l&ds longfics? preferably with rafayel but tbh any guy will do i just need to feel something 😔😔

[xingxueyue]

Love and Producer Love Tales Fairy Wallpaper

[rikedlc]

DFGYFUJBFUGC so cute 😭😭😭

[rikedlc]

ok i’ve actually have kept this to myself for literal YEARS out of embarrassment,,, but does anyone know how to access shaw’s right beside you?? i got one of his for like his second birthday event and was unable to listen to it because I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET TO IT AND ITS DRIVING ME INSANE????????

[rikedlc]

Your Possessiveness Will be the Death of Me

pairing: caleb x reader

TW: graphic descriptions of blood and injuries, toxic relationships

Summery: caleb won’t let you go to the hospital

Word count: 3,833

Notes: I promised someone that my next Caleb fanfic would be fluff but apparently I am incapable of writing anything happy 😭😭 might be a little ooc

A wanderer. Claws. The stinging feeling on your abdomen. The rest was a blur.

The city had recently become more dangerous with an increase of wanderer sightings. You thought—foolishly—that because of your hunter training, this wouldn’t affect you in any significant way. More on site work, perhaps, but nothing more than a minor inconvenience. It never occurred to you that you could become a victim of a wanderer yourself.

You had been walking down the street when out of nowhere, in a cruel sneak attack, a wanderer had jumped out and ambushed you. Rendered defenseless for a few moments, it was able to leave a pretty nasty gash on your abdomen before it was promptly dealt with.

It stung badly.

It felt as if the sky was very low. It was cold as shit out. You could see your hot breath rise up in puffs of white through the inky black sky, and as if the universe conspired to spite you even more, it had begun snowing.

Your blood glistened brightly in the neon lights of the city.

It was around 2:30 in the morning. You have to be up early tomorrow. God…

You raked your brain for a moment. The warm blood seeping between your fingers made it hard to focus.

Linkon Hospital was too far away for you to walk to without collapsing half way through. And, in some cruel joke, your phone had been smashed on the pavement while you were fighting the wanderer so there was no way you could call anyone for help.

You only had one option. But it was your last resort.

Caleb lived close by, but he didn’t want to see you. It wasn’t just a hunch or a feeling, you knew. Although he didn’t outright say it, you ended on pretty bad terms last time you saw each other. Regrettable words were thrown, tears were shed. Even though Caleb tried to explain himself—why he left, why he lied about being dead—you called the conversation there, saying you weren’t in the mood to fight anymore. Since then, Caleb has sent you countless text messages in hopes of staying in touch. At first, he would apologize continuously. Then, when he perhaps realized that his attempts were futile, he resorted to simply sending short messages about how his day went, what interesting things he saw today, and good morning good night texts. You pridefully ignored all of the messages. They angered you, even. You felt as if he was trying to guilt you into forgiving him by using his status as a long-time best friend and pretending like nothing was wrong.

He knows what he did. And you couldn’t forgive him that easily.

With those thoughts in mind, you promptly blocked his number until further notice. Although sometimes you wondered whether he was still sending you messages despite knowing they weren’t getting through to you.

If you showed up at his door now, would he turn you away? Even if he was angry at you, he wouldn’t turn away a shivering, injured woman. Right? But even if he didn’t, it would be so awkward to confront the issue with him again. Perhaps you just won’t say anything unless he brings it up himself. Still, he could simply shut the door in your face and leave you on the street. And he had every right to do so, with the way you’ve been treating him. You probably would have done the same in his situation. Probably.

Swallowing your last bit of pride, you began shuffling over to Caleb’s residence, your hand pressed tightly against the fresh wound. He had sent you his new address during one of his routinely text messages, and you had unconsciously memorized it because it was a part of town you always passed by to get to the train station.

With every step you took, you felt pressure in your wound. It would open up again and again and fresh blood would seep in between your fingers. This only made you more antsy and you felt your heart speed up.

After what felt like an excruciatingly long walk, you finally stood at the front door of Caleb’s house. It was cute. A townhouse surrounded by similar looking buildings in the middle of the city. Even though the others had distinctions about them—flower beds hanging out windows, chairs and fairy lights dotting the balconies—Caleb’s house was the one with the least character. It stood there, gray with no lights in any of the windows, as if he had only just moved in a few days ago.

You brought your hand up to knock on the door, but then you hesitated. You were angry at him, but that was fine because you knew that sooner or later you would forgive him. But you couldn’t have the same assurance that he would forgive you.

You shook your head, eracing the image of Caleb’s darkened eyes from your mind, and knocked.

Whatever happens happens.

For a few moments, there was silence. It would only be natural if he had gone to sleep, considering the deep hours of the night. But then, to your surprise, you heard the noise of shuffling coming from the inside, followed by another short silence. Just as you thought that he was ignoring you, the door swung open, revealing Caleb’s tall frame in the doorway.

He was a bit paler since the last time you saw him. And a bit thinner too. You guessed it was just in your nature to worry about him, as you had done so many times in the past.

It was still cold as shit out. Your thin hunter uniform is doing little to protect you from the chilly air. But somehow, your skin still felt hot. Snowflakes still slowly glided down into your hair.

You cleared your throat, “Caleb.”

Just as the words had left your mouth, you wished for the earth below you to open up and swallow you whole. You come to his front door in the middle of the night looking like hell—exhausted, dirty, blood pouring out of your side and your nose—and the only word you can manage is his name? Were you stupid?

You scanned Caleb’s eyes for any emotions. Was he angry? Or at least disappointed in you?

He didn’t speak for a moment, his gaze falling onto your wound. You shifted self consciously.

“What happened to you?”

His question caught you off guard, prompting you to look up at him again.

“I got into a fight.”

“Yeah, I can tell. You look like shit,” he said, and you sighed.

Surely this was the same Caleb you knew. He wouldn’t just leave you out here.

“Does it hurt?” He asks.

You swiftly shake your head.

“It's minor. I’m not crippled. I’ll live,” you lie through your teeth, “can I crash at your place? I’ll be out of your hair by morning. It’s really cold out here.”

You dragged your one of your hands against the bottom of your nose, smudging the blood pooling there.

Caleb stepped aside, a familiar smirk decorating his face, “be my guest.”

***

Caleb’s residence was just as barren inside as it was outside. Only the bare necessities scattered his living room. But it was warm.

You tried taking off your shoes, but with your wound, it was a little hard to do. Once Caleb saw you struggling, he quickly leaned down and helped you.

“Thanks. Do you by chance have any disinfectant? And some gauze?”

“I thought you said it didn’t hurt.”

“No. It seriously doesn’t.”

“Don’t lie to me missy. You’re not getting rid of me that easily. Go sit on the couch.”

You did as he commanded, stumbling over to the couch before sitting down. Momentarily, there was the sound of running water and soon enough, Caleb came back with a clean, wet towel. He tried to gently lift up your shirt, but your hand stopped him.

“I’m fine. Really. Can I sleep on your couch? I’m really tired.”

Caleb’s worried eyes met yours, “you are not fine. You’re bleeding all over my floor. Stop being so stubborn and work with me here, yeah?”

He spoke in that same friendly voice, but it was obvious that there was concern in his expression.

You gently let go of his wrist with some hesitation, biting your bottom lip as he pulled your shirt over your head, discarding it somewhere on the couch next to him. Your wound was now completely exposed, along with your bare stomach. You knew he wouldn’t do anything to hurt you, but just having the wound out in the open was enough to put you on edge.

He inspected your injury. His brow furrowed before he brought the damp towel to your skin. You hissed and recoiled slightly. Caleb flinched, but held the towel gently in place.

“Sorry pipsqueak. It’s gonna hurt no matter what. Just… squeeze my arm if it gets too much.”

You didn’t say anything.

Caleb’s touch was warm. You felt his soft fingers on the tender skin of your side. It almost made you shiver.

“Why didn’t you call me sooner? Any later, and you would’ve bled out on the goddamn street,” he murmurs, and for a moment, you didn't know how to reply.

“My phone broke,” You say dumbly.

Then there was silence for a few moments. It was quiet. The only sound was his steady breathing and the clock ticking as the seconds slipped by.

“Are you angry?” You ask when he didn’t say anything.

Caleb shook his head, “no. You have every right to want to avoid me,” he sighed, “I just wish I wasn’t your last option.”

Silence again. Tik-tok… tik-tok…

“I thought you might turn me away,” you finally admitted.

“You know I wouldn’t let you bleed out on my doorstep. No matter how angry I get at you.”

“No, I don’t know that,” you whisper, “I feel like I don’t really know you anymore…”

Caleb finally looks up at you, a hint of hurt betrayed in his eyes, “Do you think… you think I changed that much?”

“I don’t know. But the Caleb I knew would never pretend to be dead for a whole year, leaving me by myself. So, yeah… I guess I don’t really know you anymore.”

“You had other people to turn to for help.”

“Sure. But in the end, who’s taking care of me?”

Caleb sighs again and turns back to your wound. Although he is trying to seem preoccupied, you can tell that he has a lot on his mind.

“We’ll continue this conversation later,” he finally says, “for now, let’s take care of your wound, yeah? The bleeding hasn’t stopped yet. I’ll need some water to wipe you down and see how deep your injury really is. Let me take you to the bathroom. It’ll be easier to do this there.”

Caleb helps you up. Then, he helps you walk over to the bathroom, his arm wrapped around your upper torso firmly but gently. Then, when he’s sure that you are able to stand upright on your own, he meticulously picks out the temperature of the water, making sure it’s not too hot or too cold.

He soaks the towel under the thin stream of water. Your old blood dyes the sink red, leaving a gruesome sight.

You feel dizzy from the blood loss. And slightly sleepy too. You grab onto the edge of the skin in an attempt to pull yourself together. The dim, buzzing light and the splashing of water continuously lull you to sleep.

Finally, when Caleb decided that he got most of the blood out from the towel, he wrings it, and brings it up to your wound again.

You take a sharp breath, colorful curses spilling out of your mouth unchecked, “haah… Caleb…”

He gently wipes away at the edges of the wound, trying hard to be as tender as possible. Despite this, he cleans up your wound with practiced efficiency leaving you to wonder how many times he has patched himself up during dark nights like these.

“You’re doing well,” Caleb says, running the towel under clean water again.

The cycle repeats a few times. By the time Caleb deems that he had cleaned the wound thoroughly enough, you are standing there, subtly trembling in pain. The sink, the floor, and both yours and Caleb’s hands are covered in your blood. You hope that it looks worse than it actually is.

“How is it?” You ask finally.

Caleb rustles through one of the storage compartments, and takes out fresh white gauze. However, your blood on his hands stains it as soon as he touches the bandages.

“It’s pretty deep. You’ll need to take it easy for a while,” he says.

Gritting your teeth as he wraps the gauze around your abdomen, you hold your breath.

“Relax,” Caleb utters, “the worst part is over.”

He wraps the gauze around you a few more times before securing it with a little bow at the end.

“There. Good as new.”

He lets out a sharp sigh, dusting his hands off like a mechanic, and straightens out to look at you again.

“How are you feeling?”

“Better. But I’m worried. Should I go to the hospital?”

“No need. I’m here to take care of you, right?”

You nod.

You didn’t know what came over you then, but your body acted faster than you could think. You placed your hands on either side of his face and planted a small kiss on the edge of his lips.

He seemed stunned for a minute.

“You know I missed you, right?” You whisper, your fingers gently running through his raven hair.

“I thought you hated me,” he breaths.

“I do. But I can do both at the same time. These two things aren’t mutually exclusive.”

“I missed you too.”

“I hope you never leave again. Because I won’t forgive you a second time.”

Caleb’s eyes flicker before he leans in closer and presses a firm kiss to your lips.

God, it was as if you were made for each other.

All of these years of yearning to the most recent worries that plagued your mind came bubbling up to the surface until they finally exploded like a volcano.

He wraps his arms around you. The need for him to be closer to you became stronger, to the point where it was almost animalistic. Your exhales became his inhales as he pushed you up against the skin, deepening the kiss. Your fingers tangled within his hair, and his hands slowly mapped out the bare skin of your back. You couldn’t help but shiver.

You hated him so much. But God… it was impossible to stay away. You were drawn to him like a moth to a flame, knowing that nothing good was going to come out of this. Maybe he would hurt you again. Maybe you were stupid to come running back to him at the first sign of affection. But that didn’t matter at this moment. Right now, you only knew him. He was your world. And you were his.

“Wait, wait. Caleb,” you gasp suddenly, “fuck.”

Caleb immediately steps back as if he was burned.

“What’s wrong?”

You look down at your wound. It was still bleeding. A faint dark red color peaked out from behind the bandages, a signal to it probably opening up again.

“Shit, I’m sorry. I don’t know what came over me.”

“It’s okay. It’s very late. We’re both not in our right mind,” you say, heart still hammering in your chest.

Caleb hesitantly nodded. His face and t-shirt was smudged with the blood that undoubtedly came from your hands.

“Maybe I should go to the hospital,” you say again.

A dull throb pulsed over where your wound was, and although you trust that Caleb did a good job of cleaning it, you knew that he wasn’t a medical professional. Maybe you needed stitches. It would be a shame if you bled out in Caleb’s apartment for no reason other than your own carelessness.

“Damn it,” He curses, “I should’ve been more careful, you’ll bleed through these bandages too.” Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his hair. “You’re probably right, but I’ll be honest, I’m not really comfortable with letting you out of my sight just yet. I just… just let me try to add a few more layers of gauze, yeah? And if that doesn’t work, we’ll figure things out from there.”

Caleb takes out more gauze and wraps it around your lower torso again, a bit more tighter this time. He steps back to inspect how much of the gauze has already been bled through, his brow furrowing.

“Damn it…” he mutters.

You put your hand on his arm to stop his continuous fidgeting, “Caleb. Calm down.”

“You’re right. No… I just… You’re bleeding. How are you still bleeding? I’ve never seen you be this chill about an injury before. You remember when you were learning how to ride a bike when we were kids? You would cry so hard when you so much as scraped your knee against the pavement and would run to grandma so she could comfort you.”

“I remember. You were not the best teacher. It’s a miracle I haven’t gotten my front teeth knocked out.”

“You were sensitive as a kid.”

“I grew out of it.”

“Apparently.”

There was another pause. It seemed that every time you and Caleb found a common ground, there was something that would always bring you back and remind you that everything had changed. He was not the reckless little boy from your childhood that you remember. And, in turn, you were not the sensitive little girl that he remembers.

When did everything become so different?

Caleb’s apartment suddenly became cold again.

Caleb shook his head before speaking, “never mind. Have you had dinner? Are you hungry?”

“I don’t know if I can stomach anything right now.”

There was a beat of silence again, as if Caleb was choosing his words carefully, “not even rice? Or maybe some broth?”

“I don’t know.”

“Come on. I’ll order you something. Whatever you want.”

***

Caleb lended you one of his shirts since yours was stained with blood.

As promised, he ordered you takeout from a place that worked late and forced you to eat dinner. Even though you felt a little sick, you still made yourself eat.

He didn’t have a dinner table, so you sat on the couch while Caleb fed you.

“Why don’t you have a dinner table?” You inquire, “haven’t you moved in months ago?”

“I just haven’t gotten around to it.”

It was nice to catch up with him, even though it was a little awkward at times. You would talk for a few minutes before falling into silence again. Then someone would say something and the conversation would strike up again.

No one mentioned the kiss from earlier.

The familiar and slightly domestic atmosphere was almost enough to make you forget your previous worries. Almost.

There was a slight buzzing in your head, and then a wave of dizziness overcame you, harder than before.

You calmly, although wobbly, got up from the couch, and looked down at Caleb.

“Caleb, take me to the hospital.”

Caleb followed you up, “Hold on. Wait.”

You started walking towards the door, feeling like you could collapse at any moment. Caleb beat you to the front door, blocking it with his body.

“You’re not in the condition to go anywhere. Look at you. You can barely stand!”

“Then you take me!”

“Listen. I’ll take care of everything. You can’t go anywhere, even with my help.”

“But—“

“Don’t argue with me on this, pipsqueak,” He grabbed your arm a little more forcefully then he intended, “You’re not leaving in this state. No one will take better care of you than me.”

You bite at your bottom lip. What has gotten into him? Was he really just willing to let you bleed out just because he didn’t want you to leave?

Mustering up your last bit of courage and strength, you forcefully tug back on your arm that Caleb was holding, causing him to stumble forward a few steps. The plan was to get around him when he was caught off guard, however, when you retreated your arm in such a sudden motion, the muscles on your abdomen contracted, causing you to shudder in pain.

You collapse onto the floor, unable to put up a fight any further.

“Damn it, pipsqueak. I told you not to argue with me on this.”

Caleb gently helped you up, not minding your little stunt. He helped carry you to his room, tucking you into bed, bringing the covers all the way up to your chin even though you were hot. His scent enveloped you.

He planted a gentle kiss on your forehead, “you know I only want what’s best for you.”

You nod.

You realized that perhaps you should’ve seen this coming from the very beginning. The way he clung on to you when you first came, the way he never let you out of your sight. He wouldn’t let you go now. No matter how much you struggled against him. And you couldn’t say that you hated the idea. This was the person you loved the most. The person who knew you best. The person who would take care of you better than anyone.

He was the person you turned to at the end of the day.

Caleb respectfully sat down on the floor across from you, resting his head on the edge of his bed. Lost in thought, his fingers met yours. Then he brought them up to his lips and placed a gentle kiss.

“I’m mad about you,” he whispers, “I think I’ll die if you ever continue to ignore me like you did.”

“I won’t.”

“Good. Sleep tight, pipsqueak.”

It was four in the morning and the door was closed and Caleb's breathing gradually evened out. The light sound of cars passing on the street below was the only sound. In the haziness of the deep hours of the night, you were back in grandma’s house for a moment. You had snuck into Caleb's room again because you were scared of the sound of cars outside and the shadows on the wall of your room.

The pain in your side is unbearably excruciating. You carefully peel the blanket up to see Caleb’s sheets covered in blood. Your shirt had completely soaked through, and there was no doubt that your gauze had done little to prevent the blood flow. You felt unbearably hot, and your heart was thumping out of your chest.

Without thinking much further, you covered yourself with Caleb’s blanket and turned to the side, scumming to deep sleep shortly after.

At least you were with the person who knows you best.

At least you were with the person who loves you the most.

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