“But I’ve never felt any of that.” They bluntly reply, although it’s still the total truth. They’re not used to feeling anything like this; years of having to shut their emotions away with the foundation having left deep scars on their psyche. “If I have, I … don’t. remember it.”
Their gaze flits away from Finn’s own – drifting instead down to the dead leaves, just barely illuminated by the light of a dying flame. Connor wishes they could enjoy the sights, the smell of the woods – all new things to a guy like themself, but they just … can’t. Instead, they keep their gaze trained on the fire as they pick up leaves, crunching them in their hands even just slightly .. and then feeding them to the fire, watching as it grows bigger. They don’t meet Finn’s gaze as their knees come up to their chest, almost balling up – cheek smooshed against their knees,too. It muffles their voice slightly, but they can’t be bothered to care at the moment.
“ I guess I have to take your word for it. That there’s good feelings and all. I just wish I could feel them … y’know?”
Finn quickly fell silent listening to the other, his demeanor slowly changing as the seconds passed by. Not having felt any good emotions during their whole life.. that seemed like a bold statement to make, but he supposed he couldn’t know what the reality was for this person - he had just came across them & their story was theirs to have. If what the guy was telling him really was the truth, Finn wouldn’t know what to say to assure them - not having any experience on good thing, good feelings.. he pitied the guy for sure.
Moving his eyes off from the other for a brief second, Finn looked around their campsite casually, enjoying the quiet & exceptionally warm night out. From the pocket of his battle vest, he pulled out a pill bottle, containing a couple of small, pre-rolled marijuana cigarettes. Placing one of them in between his lips, Finn then grabbed a lighter in shift motion to light the joint.
“ Yeah, guess y’gotta. “ he paused for a moment & took a heavy puff on his cigarette. “ Look, I dunno what’s on your mind or what shit you’ve been through.. but I’m sure we’ll be able to find you some good feelings somewhere. I’m good company after all. “
A chuckle escaped from between his lips as he moved his eyes back to Connor. “ Does that sound good to you? “
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