ripley triton

[ attina triton | 21 | senior | environmental studies major ] ripley triton. i guess I'm kind of a princess, but who cares?? the environment should be everyone's main focus. give 1000% because it's the only place we have!

[ripley-triton]

TEXT 😡 PHIPLEY

Phoebe: I've been doing this dance with Axel for like ten years at this point, did you really expect any good advice from ME? Because if so that's your own fault lol. You're not fucked up! Sometimes it's not anyone's fault that things get weird. I think if you spend enough time around another human, your life paths just un-mesh and re-mesh from time to time, it's inevitable. Don't worry, you'll mesh back!

Phoebe: Like what????

Ripley: Fair enough I guess! I just don't really know other people doing this weird tension thing with their best friend while also having other friends sort of but also not involved?? I really wish we would mesh back like now. I just want things to go back to the way they were.

Ripley: like during environmental club! Or cleaning up the beach?

[ripley-triton]

TEXT 😡 PHIPLEY

Phoebe: Yeah, well, don't ask me about that, the only guy I've had like full sex with is my best friend LOL. When men don't suck? Yeah, they're kind of awesome, but alkfjasdj it changes all the time. And YUP, I feel that.

Phoebe: DON'T EDGE ME LIKE THAT, RIPLEY! I was so excited to have legit recommendations of where to go just to come and find you were teasing!

Ripley: wow thanks so much for the help 😭 that's true. i mean idk i can't really say that. i love my kings all the time. maybe i'm just the one that's fucked up.

Ripley: LMAO I'M SORRY IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE. I just realized all I do is stuff that you probably wouldn't want to meet guys at??

[ripley-triton]

TEXT 😡 PHIPLEY

Phoebe: Did your cousin warn you about MEN in general? Because she was right! I curse that I'm in love with men. I take it you can't just drop these men lol?

Phoebe: YEAH! Exactly! Like, a cute guy immediately messaged me asking for nudes. What is going on in the world where that's allowed?

Ripley: uh no not exactly, just about sleeping with your best friends 😜 but you kinda love it a little don't you?? i mean they suck sometimes but not all the time. uh no, nope, can't even dream of it.

Ripley: ugh that's so fucking trashy. if you really really want to meet some replacement guys I recommend going out places. where? i wouldn't know

[ripley-triton]

TEXT 😡 PHIPLEY

Phoebe: Are YOU going through it too?! Ugh, that is just unacceptable! You're too fine to have man troubles!

Phoebe: It's just... idk, I signed up for a dating app again just to see what's out there and deleted it in like ten minutes. Is the quality of man really so low? I was only on it for a blink of an eye and that was enough to see a million crusty dusty guys who probably don't have bedframes and take bad selfies.

Ripley: A whole fucking hurricane of whatever the fuck. I should've really just listened to my cousin when she warned me ages ago. Well that's too bad because I'm hot as fuck and having shitty problems!

Ripley: i mean the field on those apps like matchmakr are lame as fuck. they're either hot and an asshole or they're ugly and creepy.

[ripley-triton]

TEXT 😡 PHIPLEY

Phoebe: WHY DO MEN?!

Ripley: TELL! ME! ABOUT! IT!

Ripley: what's wrong though, queen??

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: I really appreciate the thought behind that but if you both just sidelined your feelings to focus on ME instead, it would just feel kind of fake, even if it was completely genuine. Like, I KNOW you guys have something going on and that you'd rather be doing that, and I'd just feel like the bad guy for stealing focus.

Beau: I haven't been able to fully focus on my girlfriend and how happy she makes me since the conversation was shifted away from her pretty abruptly, actually. I haven't been able to focus on much because I've been really busy readjusting the way I look at two of the most important people in my life. You, however, don't have to deal with any of that since the one person that's been emotionally dishonest with you finally told you what he wants, and it happens to line up perfectly with what you want, and there's nothing else to work through. Our situations are different, Queen. There's nothing holding you back from focusing on your happiness unless you want there to be.

Ripley: Okay, I don't want you to feel even worse. I'll try to fix it with puck. He probably thinks I'm fucking nuts.

Ripley: I'm sorry for stealing focus when you were so happy about Aimee. I didn't mean to ruin your happiness at all. I wish I would've gone to you a lot sooner about all of this. I could've done so many things better. I know our situations are different, it's just kinda killing me inside to know I hurt you so much and it sucks there's nothing I can do just make things right. I genuinely want to do this the right way and in the way that's best for you. I'm not trying to rush you or shift any blame onto you. Things are changing and I just want to do right by you and Puck. I'm just not entirely sure how to do that anymore.. I'm trying to be open and honest about everything in my head. Just let me know if you want me to be doing something different.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 puckley

Puck: If it's what he's asking for, just pushing more and more on him isn't exactly gonna do much good, is it? I know that's how you process things, but we literally just dropped a bomb on him. Maybe give him a minute before you get all up in his face about it?

Puck: Kinda, yeah. I mean, you've said it yourself. You're not really the relationship type, so yeah. It was kind of hard to think about how I could possibly be tossed to the side like any other guy you've hooked up with. Was it fair of me to hold it against you? No, but that's one of the things that scared me out of talking about everything.

Puck: Not really, Rip. I mean, you're the one that asked me if I wanted to give this a try and now you're telling me not now? Kinda confuses a guy, you know?

Ripley: I don't know what he's asking for and I was just trying to make it right but anything I do is just screwing it up even more. So I'm following what you said and trying to give him space.

Ripley: I understand. I can't hold it against you that you were scared. All I can say is that you couldn't ever be just a hookup to me. You're not like any of those people. guys, girls, whatever. it doesn't matter. you're puck and they don't hold a candle to you.

Ripley: Okay then just ignore everything I said. If you can? I'm not trying to screw us up along with my friendship with Beau and I think I might lose it if I do. I want to do this with you if you're still willing.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: So you know how you feel about each other but you wanted to, what, ignore those feelings if I was still sad? Am I understanding that correctly? Because if I am, then I don't see how that could possibly work without making you guys resent me more, especially Puck who's pissed as heck. If I'm misunderstanding, I'd love to know what the actual plan was, because I just can't.

Beau: I'm not hurt that I wasn't included before, I'm hurt that I was lied to! I don't need to be responsible for whether you guys get together now or later. What I need is the friendship that I THOUGHT I had because the friends I thought I had wouldn't have been emotionally dishonest to my face for almost a year, but you both were and now I feel like the carpet that is reality was pulled out from under me, hard! You went from hiding any trace of what was really going on to putting it on my shoulders whether or not you guys even decide to talk about it at all so fast that I'm still dealing with whiplash and looking back at the last eight months and recontextualizing everything and... it's just so much. You want to know how to fix it? The truth of the matter is the only thing that'll make it all hurt less is time, and you're just going to have to be okay with that because I can't magically change. If I could, I would, but I can't. I'm real sorry to put a damper on the start of your and Puck's relationship. I know that's the priority right now and my feelings are probably really annoying when you're so happy about other stuff, so if you want to just not deal with them anymore, you're well within your rights, especially because there's nothing that can be done or said that can fix it from one minute to the next.

Ripley: We weren't going to ignore them, we were just going to focus on being there for you. We know how we both feel and that's not going to change. I can't speak for how Puck would've handled it emotionally, but I think we both just wanted to try and do better.

Ripley: I'm fine if you're not "magically fixed" I wasn't trying to force you into being okay within one second. I didn't know what to do. This is totally new and we haven't dealt with something like this before so I was just trying. Your feelings are not annoying to me. I care about you. I care about you so fucking much and everything that you are feeling matters to me. I'm sorry if you feel like we're trying to make you into the bad guy here. I'm just trying to do right by you. But can I just ask you, can you be 100% focused on Aimee and happy with her right now with everything going on? I'm trying to understand how you're thinking right now. If you can, maybe that's just something I can't understand.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: Well, telling me that me not being over it yet is a reason you have not to progress with Puck just makes me feel awful, like I either should be over it already and there's something wrong with me that I'm not or else like I need to take responsibility for wrecking your relationship before it begins. How am I supposed to feel about that?

Beau: I'm sorry about everything too. I don't want to not talk to you guys. I just don't want to feel forced into your relationship business, especially when the positions I'm forced into either hurt or are really unflattering. I don't even know what being "ready" means. If you mean you want to give me space until I'm not upset about any of this anymore, then I guess we probably won't talk for years? And that's not what I want but if that's what you two would rather do, then I guess that's that. Good luck with everything and congratulations on getting together.

Ripley: I wasn't trying to put you into that position. It's not wrecking anything with me and Puck we already know how we feel about each other. I didn't think about it making you feel even worse, that wasn't my intention.

Ripley: Jesus, Beau, I don't want us to not talk for years! I don't even want to not talk to you for a second but I don't even know what to do or say at this point. It feels like everything we're doing is wrong. We didn't include you before and you're hurt and we try to include you now and you feel hurt. So, you're saying you don't want to be included now, we'll keep you out of it. Whatever we have to do to make this right. I don't care, I'll do it. I'm not trying to make you feel any worse, I'm trying to fix this just tell me what I have to do to do that.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: Of course I'm still not feeling good about you both lying to me. I'm not even close. Like, I'm glad you both apologized and that means a lot to me but it doesn't fix things overnight, but that really doesn't matter. Go, be happy. Your happiness won't make me feel worse, so go back to not caring about what I think about all this if it means you can enjoy yourself; I don't want to be the guy holding you guys back, I'm not trying to be the guy holding you guys back, and I never asked to be that guy in the first place. I've been telling you over and over and OVER again that I have nothing to do with your Puck business and you basically said that I either have to feel 100% good about everything going on or else I'll be the villain keeping you and Puck apart, so if you aren't trying to use me as an excuse, I don't know why else you're being like this.

Ripley: I'm not trying to make you a villain. okay? I was just trying to be a better friend. I don't know.

Ripley: well, as you know, I am really sorry about everything. I know it's not going to fix everything. I guess Puck might've been right, maybe I should just give you your space for now? and when you're ready i'll be here.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: Ripley, I love you, but believe it or not, my happiness doesn't depend on your relationship status. Whether or not you two get together isn't going to make things better or worse for me. I'm hurt based on what's happened in the past and not whatever happens in the future. You've already apologized for what's hurt me and I've already accepted it and there's not much else we can do except let time heal so don't please make me a reason you don't want to be with Puck, cause I'm telling you loud and clear that if you use me as a scapegoat or an excuse to not work on stuff that you want to, that's one of the only things you could do that would make me feel even worse. You'd be literally forcing me into your thing as the bad guy or the obstacle or whatever, which wouldn't be fair to me, especially because it's no skin off my knees if you two couple up or not so long as you two talk things out. If you want me as your friend, you won't paint me as your antagonist. Stall discussing your business with Puck on your own behalf, not on mine.

Ripley: I wasn't trying to make it seem like I was worried about your feelings about Puck and I. I just meant that IF you were still not feeling good about us having not confided in you, I wanted to address it first. Because if we were the reason you were upset and then after having needing you to push us together for us to be happy together and you're still feeling upset about us not talking to you then I would feel like a shitty person for being happy when one of my friends is not. I'm not using it as an excuse. If you're actually okay and everything is good and great then I'm telling Puck I want to be with him. In fact, I've already told him that and we were just in the middle of discussing it but I wanted to be sure I wasn't being an asshole. I already fucked up once, you know? I'm not trying to do that again. But if you're fine, you're fine and we're good. do you actually think that I'd try to use you as an excuse in anything? especially with something like this and especially with puck?? like is your opinion of me as a friend that low now??

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: Course I forgive you guys, but this isn't about me so stop trying to make it about me, cher, please. It's about you and Puck. I hear your apology and I'm grateful for it, but I don't need it, and you don't need to hurt where I'm concerned. Save your heart's energy for figuring things out with Puck, honest. If you two are sailing into uncharted waters, you two deserve to give this the best try you can. If I can offer any advice though? Actually talk to Puck as things are happening, and be as real with him as you are with me. Being open and honest is the best way to ensure trust among people and avoiding hurting anyone, just for future reference.

Ripley: I want to make sure you're not just saying this because if you are feeling hurt I want to address it. Screw this being about "just me and puck". I wouldn't feel like a very good friend if I was just concerned about myself and the stuff I'm figuring out if I didn't make sure that you were okay too. And quite frankly, I can't focus on this being like us possibly getting together if this is hurting one of us. But thank you for the advice. I'm being the utmost honest and straight forward I can be. Including telling him that I want to make sure everyone is okay before we talk about me and him because it just wouldn't feel right otherwise.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: You're welcome, Queen. I messed up majorly with Puck but I'm glad I helped you, and for that reason I'd do this all again every time. I wish I could tell you that you'll stop being scared soon, but the truth is this kind of stuff stays scary, but only because it matters so much. Hopefully the good will outweigh the scary for you guys. I know you were there for me the rest of this year, and I will always appreciate that and you, it's just weird that that whole time, you weren't being emotionally honest with me about something so huge, you know? And looking back at all that time, knowing you guys were saying nothing...it just hurts. I don't get why your processing took that long with each other but also with me, and it's not that I don't want to believe you, it's just that it's hard to. But I'll try.

Ripley: Puck feels like he majorly fucked up with talking with you too. I wish I could even believe that this shit would stop being scary but that's literally never going to change, ironically enough. I really can't express enough how sorry I am that we made you feel that way. Like we didn't trust you. I would have nothing without the two of you. And I can only hope that you forgive me and puck and are able to trust that we'll be better in the future. the last thing I wanted was to hurt anyone. and it breaks my heart to know i helped cause this in you, beau.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 puckley

Puck: let him distance himself! put yourself in his shoes for a sec, rip. he just found out that his best friends kept a secret from him for almost a year! wouldn't you be a little upset and wanna distance yourself too? plus, i wasn't too thrilled with the things he said to me and i kinda blew up at him so... let him do his thing. he'll come back when he's ready, but if you push he's just gonna pull even more. just let him be for a second, kay?

Puck: well, i gotta be honest. half of why i haven't been able to talk to you about all of this is because i wasn't sure about that. and i hated feeling like i couldn't trust you with something, because i literally trust you and beau with everything.

Puck: but you also can't immediately assume that you'd be the one doing any hurting. i know it's 2021 and girls can do anything, okay, but come on. it's not fair to hog all the ruining credit. it's possible i do something stupid and hurt you too, so. how can you trust me? we just do if we want this to work.

Ripley: Give him space?? I can't do that, puck. I've literally never done that to either of you ever. if something's up you know I'm literally in your face until we fix whatever it is. and i know i know he must be feeling like shit right now and that's even more reason i want to be there to prove to him that we still love him and even more that this colossal fuck up won't ruin us. all of this is one of the things i was exactly afraid of. not only is this changing me and you and it's changing all of us and the way things are going right now I'm so scared I'm going to lose you both.

Ripley: What couldn't you trust me with? with not hurting you?

Ripley: I do trust you, Puck. I trust you like 1000% I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't. If I'm being even more honest, us getting together while our friend is hurting just doesn't feel right.. Like we should all be so happy you know? And I can't even focus because I know Beau is miserable because of us and what we did. And I'm not saying I don't want us to be together or to try anything... please tell me you understand what I'm saying?

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 ripeau

Beau: Well, figuring out exactly what is there is where the talking comes in, you know? So good luck, really. And I'm not *trying* to pull myself out of this, I'm just not in this, period, and that's okay. Neither of you trusted me enough with this for almost a year, Puck hates me now for daring to be honest about feeling hurt, and you keep trying to force a place for me here where there's just not one. And that's okay. It's your guys's business. It doesn't matter what I think. I probably shouldn't have said anything in the first place. Just... good luck, yeah? I hope you get everything you want.

Ripley: thanks, king. for all of it for everything for talking me through this. i mean im still scared as shit. like all of this is so unpredictable. i dont want this to fuck any of us. beau, you are LITERALLY involved in this. like us having this deep of a conversation about it and being the one to get us to talk. i get that us not telling you about this from the beginning makes you feel like you're not included but you are. and im sorry, again, that it did take us so long. it's not because we didn't trust you, i promise. we trust you. we were just figuring shit out. or trying to. you're still one of us and i dont know what to do or what to say to make you believe that. i still came to you when i finally decided to ask for some help. and i was always there for you during the rest of this entire year. i know it's a huge thing that happened but it's ... it's just that it was a HUGE thing that happened. i think we were just processing or something. i think im just starting to repeat myself now. ball's in your court.

[ripley-triton]

text 💬 puckley

Puck: it hasn't really worked out in the past lol so i can't blame you. he said that? wow, he definitely has been saying a lot of things lately, and has a lot of opinions for someone who's told me repeatedly he has nothing to do with any of this 🙄

Puck: i get it, i was confused too. a line was crossed and neither of us knew what it meant or how to talk to each other about it. things get pretty crazy in that situation. and yeah, i wish i'd just said something instead of walking away that one time, because we'd probably be a lot less confused by now but... guess all we can do is figure it out from here, huh?

Puck: do you want to? i'm not trying to deflect and just follow your lead, just trying to get your thoughts on it all. i mean, we both have thought about it sure, but that doesn't mean you want to. and i'm not saying i don't, at all. like the opposite, i just, well, don't want you to feel like you have to, is all.

Ripley: i think he's just saying that because he's hurt we didnt tell him before. i keep trying to tell him he IS a part of all this because he's the reason i texted you in the first place. he's the one that calmed me down when i was lowkey spiraling. and every time i say it he just denies it and tries to distance himself. it fucking sucks but i dont know what to do.

Ripley: yeah, that's all we can do. i mean the moment's passed and just overthinking about it constantly isn't going to do anything but make it harder for us to move forward and moving forward is the point of all of us finally communicating.

Ripley: i know you'd never pressure me into anything. i want to. i do. i don't know what it's going to do to our entire group dynamic and that scares me. i don't want anything bad to ever happen between us if we're moving into this stage it'll be different. if one of us gets hurt.. if i hurt you.. how can you trust me not to hurt you?

[vnesshudgens]