simple man

yo, i'm puck! i'm twenty-one, a senior at asu, and the only p. sherman that's not a doctor of some sort. instead of saving people's teeth, my dream is to save the world, one toxic problem at a time.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 open

Phoebe: Ugh, yes, that's just what I need this morning. Want anything from McDonalds?

Puck: Dude, it's what everyone needs every morning, even if they don't know they need it.

Puck: Sweet tea would be bomb! The cottonmouth is REAL this morning 😩

[pucksherman]

text 📲 puckrene

Irene: hell yeah long as you supply my dude!!

Puck: would i be offering if i didn't have anything? talk about not having any manners lmao

[pucksherman]

text 💬 puckley

Ripley: I don't know what he's asking for and I was just trying to make it right but anything I do is just screwing it up even more. So I'm following what you said and trying to give him space.

Ripley: I understand. I can't hold it against you that you were scared. All I can say is that you couldn't ever be just a hookup to me. You're not like any of those people. guys, girls, whatever. it doesn't matter. you're puck and they don't hold a candle to you.

Ripley: Okay then just ignore everything I said. If you can? I'm not trying to screw us up along with my friendship with Beau and I think I might lose it if I do. I want to do this with you if you're still willing.

Puck: From what I gathered, he needed time and space to learn how to trust us again since we kept something huge from him. And can't say I don't really blame him? I mean, I'd probably be upset if I was him too, even if you guys were only not telling me because you thought it would be better or something. Idk, I just think the last thing he needs or wants right now is either of us bombarding him.

Puck: Yeah, well, it's kind of hard to know that kind of thing if you never talk about it, so... guess we're just gonna keep going around in circles with that logic, huh?

Puck: I already told you I was so... guess that settles it? We're giving this a shot?

[pucksherman]

text 📲 open

Puck: wake and bake?

[pucksherman]

text 📲 push

Cash: Maybe we could make it like a game? Like have a trash can with a HUGE mouth and people have to feed it? Idk! Either way, it's good to be annoying about the environment! Use that!

Cash: Nah, I don't think costumes would be required. I just personally would not pass up the opportunity to go to a Trolls rave and NOT dress up lol idc if I'm the only one in a costume tbh! It's TROLLS!

Puck: I actually really like that? Me and Rip kind of did the same thing where it was kind of like beer pong but not? If you made the shot, you take a shot though lmao but I like it, it works and makes cleaning fun! We'll use the annoying tactic if the fun stops working.

Puck: You never know though! If you stress the rave thing, people might come with all kinds of crazy colors painted on them and end up looking like trolls anyway. Costume parties are always a fun option though, especially with Halloween coming up in a couple of months. They'll probably be everywhere soon.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 buck

Beau: I guess I hoped that if you ever had any stuff that was too tricky to figure out alone, you'd want to talk it through with your friends and figure it out together, but I should've considered that maybe that's just how *I'd* want to solve problems, not how you would. You're right though, that is besides the point. I'm sorry that that's all you can give right now, it must be tough not even understanding yourself going through something like this. "Manning up" is really about seeking to deconstruct the toxic masculinity that's fought to keep us from looking into our emotions too hard for all of society's existence; right now, you diving into what you were scared of and the role you played in the situation? It's the man I've always thought you were.

Beau: Am I? You've been going through this for so long and only ever brought it up once Ripley brought it all to the surface. If she hadn't, how much longer would I have had to wait to find out? Or would I ever? It feels like I exist as an afterthought to you both right now, or as the person you guys use to practice talking this out with before you talk it out with each other, and that's fine, whatever, you two are the priority. It just... it really doesn't feel good right now. Thank you for saying you're sorry, and I believe you and I'm grateful for it, but I hope you understand why just saying that you trust me doesn't make it feel true.

Beau: I want things to be normal again too but the truth is they won't ever be. You guys did and hid something huge and whatever happens with you two from here on out, it'll be different than what you two had before. It's been different since the first time you guys did anything, whether or not you both just acted like it didn't. So good luck with everything, really. I'm wishing you two the best.

Puck: I get that, and most of my problems that's how it would be. This one was... I don't know. Different? Bigger? As for how if I ever would have brought it up if she hadn't, I don't know. I can't tell you because that's just not how it played out. All I can do is say I'm sorry for making you feel that way, because it wasn't that at all. But I get that there's nothing I can really do to 'make it better.'

Puck: Also not sure what to say to all of that other than what's been said. And I'm not trying to drag you further into this, or push you out for that matter. But I know Rip's not making it easy on you, and I'm trying to help on that front too. I don't want to overwhelm you any more than you are, so I guess I'll just leave it at that and I'll let you know how things go, if you even want to know. If that's more than you want right now because you need to process everything, I get it.

[pucksherman]

text 💬 puckley

Ripley: Give him space?? I can't do that, puck. I've literally never done that to either of you ever. if something's up you know I'm literally in your face until we fix whatever it is. and i know i know he must be feeling like shit right now and that's even more reason i want to be there to prove to him that we still love him and even more that this colossal fuck up won't ruin us. all of this is one of the things i was exactly afraid of. not only is this changing me and you and it's changing all of us and the way things are going right now I'm so scared I'm going to lose you both.

Ripley: What couldn't you trust me with? with not hurting you?

Ripley: I do trust you, Puck. I trust you like 1000% I wouldn't have slept with you if I didn't. If I'm being even more honest, us getting together while our friend is hurting just doesn't feel right.. Like we should all be so happy you know? And I can't even focus because I know Beau is miserable because of us and what we did. And I'm not saying I don't want us to be together or to try anything... please tell me you understand what I'm saying?

Puck: If it's what he's asking for, just pushing more and more on him isn't exactly gonna do much good, is it? I know that's how you process things, but we literally just dropped a bomb on him. Maybe give him a minute before you get all up in his face about it?

Puck: Kinda, yeah. I mean, you've said it yourself. You're not really the relationship type, so yeah. It was kind of hard to think about how I could possibly be tossed to the side like any other guy you've hooked up with. Was it fair of me to hold it against you? No, but that's one of the things that scared me out of talking about everything.

Puck: Not really, Rip. I mean, you're the one that asked me if I wanted to give this a try and now you're telling me not now? Kinda confuses a guy, you know?

[pucksherman]

text 📲 pucklynn

Oaklynn: I usually think of rubbing alcohol for disinfecting wounds, but if your mattress was injured then I can see where the inspiration came from!!!

Oaklynn: Wait, to be clear... did you evaporate the whole mattress? Or just the rubbing alcohol? I NEED TO BE SURE YOU HAVE SOMEWHERE COMFY TO SLEEP!

Puck: If you think of gross smelling things being poured on them as your mattress being injured, sure. That tracks. But the point is it's a disinfectant so it gets rid of any nasty germs that could be stewing in your mattress.

Puck: How would a solid evaporate? I'm not like a complete science geek or anything, but that doesn't seem like that's even possible?

[pucksherman]

text 📲 push

Cash: Oh gosh, yeah, parties always leave behind like a tornado of trash! I'm not sure how to make sure people clean though, I'm not exactly the most assertive dude, especially when dressed as a Troll.

Cash: PHEW, you don't know HOW relieved I am to hear that! Mostly because I'd have no idea how to actually navigate that but also because YAY, no drinking habits for you! Sorry for being a little paranoid about it but it's better to be safe than sorry, you know?

Puck: Trust me, I know. I'm usually the guy going around and cleaning up all the Solo cups lmao it's probably in vain to ask them to clean, but it can be done. I can be very annoying about the environment when I wanna be.

Puck: So wait, if you're gonna be dressed as a troll, that mean costumes required? Or at least as close to a costume as possible?

[pucksherman]

text 💬 puckley

Ripley: i think he's just saying that because he's hurt we didnt tell him before. i keep trying to tell him he IS a part of all this because he's the reason i texted you in the first place. he's the one that calmed me down when i was lowkey spiraling. and every time i say it he just denies it and tries to distance himself. it fucking sucks but i dont know what to do.

Ripley: yeah, that's all we can do. i mean the moment's passed and just overthinking about it constantly isn't going to do anything but make it harder for us to move forward and moving forward is the point of all of us finally communicating.

Ripley: i know you'd never pressure me into anything. i want to. i do. i don't know what it's going to do to our entire group dynamic and that scares me. i don't want anything bad to ever happen between us if we're moving into this stage it'll be different. if one of us gets hurt.. if i hurt you.. how can you trust me not to hurt you?

Puck: let him distance himself! put yourself in his shoes for a sec, rip. he just found out that his best friends kept a secret from him for almost a year! wouldn't you be a little upset and wanna distance yourself too? plus, i wasn't too thrilled with the things he said to me and i kinda blew up at him so... let him do his thing. he'll come back when he's ready, but if you push he's just gonna pull even more. just let him be for a second, kay?

Puck: well, i gotta be honest. half of why i haven't been able to talk to you about all of this is because i wasn't sure about that. and i hated feeling like i couldn't trust you with something, because i literally trust you and beau with everything.

Puck: but you also can't immediately assume that you'd be the one doing any hurting. i know it's 2021 and girls can do anything, okay, but come on. it's not fair to hog all the ruining credit. it's possible i do something stupid and hurt you too, so. how can you trust me? we just do if we want this to work.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 buck

Beau: Well, if I'm being honest with you, it doesn't feel like you've been trying to explain -- as in, I keep looking back at your messages and scanning for explanations and I keep finding nothing -- but maybe that's just because I'm hoping that something, ANYTHING, you say starts making sense to me and so far, it doesn't. If you started liking her, why didn't you tell her? She's your best friend, she wouldn't have done anything bad with that information, she loves you and you know it. And if you didn't want to be just another guy she hooked up with, how was sleeping with her in secret and silence supposed to make you special? Don't worry, you don't have to answer those, especially cause I got a feeling that even if you tried, it wouldn't make sense to me; to me all relationships, friendships included, need communication to work, so maybe this whole messy thing you two fell into isn't ever going to make sense to me. And if I think about it that way, WHY you did stuff shouldn't matter to me as much as HOW you feel about it, so I'll try my best to shift my focus to that, because how you feel DOES matter to me and I'm sorry it doesn't feel like that. It's tricky on my end because I care about how you feel AND how Ripley feels, and she came to me so sad that it definitely colored my perspective. I'm sorry that I couldn't hear both your sides at the same time for maximum fairness, and I'm sorry you don't feel listened to. I'm not sure how I can fix that, but I WANT to fix it, because it was never my intention to make you feel bad. You started a conversation to hash things out, so I took that opportunity to voice my concerns and ask for explanations, as that's what I consider a conversation to be; I'm sorry that that felt like an attack and I hope you understand, if not now then later, that I was just trying to have a talk.

Beau: And you're right, I DO have too much of an input for something that's not my business, and believe me, I wish I didn't. If I could have it my way, I'd have no input at all, because it is NOT my business. That said, you both came to me about this on your own, so what was I supposed to do? Ignore you both? You're my best friends, and I'm not the kind of person that could ever shut out a friend. And then Ripley keeps insisting that this IS my business and that I'm part of this, and you're mad at me for having opinions about it at all, and I'm just trying my hardest not to cry because the people I always thought of as my best friends didn't trust me and shut me out and shut each other out and none of it makes sense and none of it is fair and I don't know the right things to say or do and I don't know what you guys want from me! So just tell me exactly it is that you wish I'd have said when you messaged me asking to talk things through, and I'll just say THAT instead and we can start over and pretend that me searching for answers never happened because honestly, I hate this feeling and I didn't see it going like this and I just really thought we'd have a conversation and instead you blew up at me and for good reason and I want to take back whatever made you so pissed because I already feel like I'm halfway to losing you both forever with how much you both kept me in the dark and I can't handle it if you leave the rest of the way, so whatever I've got to say or do so that you don't leave, just let me know and I'll do it.

Puck: None of it really made sense to me either, why do you think it took me so long to finally be ready to talk? It's weird, crossing over into undefined territory. I mean, like have I thought about Rip like that? Yeah, sure, I'm a guy, who hasn't? Except probably you because you're 10 times the guy I'll ever be, but that's besides the point. It's a mess, I know, and I'm STILL trying to make sense of it, so I don't blame you for being confused about it all. And probably also why it doesn't sound like much, but that's all I can give. I was scared to talk, even though I wanted to. I tried and failed, came off looking like a major douche because I couldn't just man up and talk. That's about the gist of it. And never said it made me feel special in any way... it sucked, honestly. Feeling like the second I spoke up I'd be tossed aside. So maybe you weren't totally off in saying I was manipulating the situation. I guess in a way I was, but not intentionally and definitely not in a skeezy way.

Puck: You're still my best friend, Beau. I wanna hear your opinions and shit, and I should have come for them a while ago, not when this was already coming to a head. It was just hard. And who knows, maybe what you said SHOULD have been what's said, I have no idea what to tell you about that. But maybe that's why my reaction wasn't great, because I needed it. I don't know, I just know I don't like not knowing what the hell's going on between the three of us and right now none of us are on the same page about anything. I don't wanna drag you in or push you out of anything, and I never wanted you to that think I didn't trust you, because that couldn't be further from the truth! I absolutely trust you, and I should have with this but I didn't, but that's not anything to do with you and everything to do with me. I didn't even trust my other best friend to not treat me like every other guy she's been with. So for that, I'm sorry.

Puck: This convo is probably the most I've ever said I in a conversation, but I just want shit to be normal again. I hate fighting with one friend and barely talking to the other, I hate that you feel like you're losing your best friends, I just really hate how this all went down and that I let it get like this.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 buck

Beau: Well, I don't think that. I'm telling you right now in words that I don't think that, I never did, and I never will. I'm sure reading those things hurt, just like I hurt reading a lot of what you said to me. I wasn't trying to hurt you though. I was trying to understand. You said you messaged me to "hash things out", so I thought that meant you wanted to talk stuff out, air out our feelings, tell each other where we misunderstood each other and rectify that, but when I tried to communicate my feelings to you, you immediately jumped on the defensive and didn't give "hashing it out" even half a chance. I never asked you to be sorry for the things that I've since learned you didn't do, but you didn't talk to her, and you didn't talk to me, and those are objectively things that did happen and did hurt both Ripley and myself. Try to imagine it -- Ripley comes to you incredibly upset one day and spills the beans that she's been sleeping with someone she's long considered a friend for eight months now and they've never talked about it, and them not talking about it is killing her. You're her best friend; you'd be pretty upset on her behalf, wouldn't you? And you'd wonder why the heck any guy would treat her like that. And maybe if you'd talked to me about ANY of it before now, I'd know more about your side at all, but you didn't and haven't and you still don't. You just keep saying "you weren't there, you don't know my side" without explaining it, really. Have you noticed that?

Beau: I'm aghast at both you AND Rip, if that helps. If you were the one who came crying to me first about Ripley and then she messaged me about it before I'd fully processed like you did, I'm sure she would've been the one to get these last couple messages of mine instead of you, because you're both my best friends, or you're supposed to be, and any girl treating you the way she did and any guy treating her the way you did just makes me so sad. And maybe if you decided not to run away and just took the time read what I'm saying with the intent to communicate, you'd realize that I'm saying what I know and waiting for you to contribute with your side of the story.

Puck: Actually, I did try to explain, and literally said while I was trying to that it sounded like a bunch of excuses and I wasn't trying to do that. But yeah, Beau. I actually did try to talk about it in this chain and instead you focused on how much of a fuck up I am, and guess what? Already knew that. And even know when I'm telling you that I had spent this entire time trying to figure out how to talk, even that's not good enough. So yeah, excuse me for shutting down when I've tried talking and it feels like my side's not being heard at all. I've been just as confused about this whole thing as Rip has, and I've tried talking to her. I mean, I never meant for it to happen but it did! We started hooking up and somewhere along the way I started actually liking her and didn't know what to do about it. Yeah, I should have talked to her, but like I said before I panicked when I tried to, and that's on me. Never tried hiding that, still not trying to. But my side was that every time I wanted to talk, I just couldn't because I was just as scared as she was. You think I wanted to just be another guy she hooked up with? That'd sting a bit after being best friends for so long, so yeah. It was hard to talk about, especially with her. And when I did talk to her, I didn't want her to feel like I was trying to trap her in anything, because we both know she's not usually that type of person. So yeah, I got in my head about it and it was dumb, but I'm just a dude, dude. I make mistakes, I fuck things up sometimes, but I'm fucking trying, man. And it feels like it doesn't matter how I feel about any of this and because I didn't come to you first. Which, to be real honest, is kinda shit dude. I'm not trying to start a fight with you or anything, but for someone who's been saying it ain't his business, you've had a lot of judgement towards me during this whole thing, and I know you said you're upset with Ripley too but it hasn't felt like that the entire conversation. It didn't feel like a conversation at all, it felt like you just taking the opportunity to make me feel like even more shit than I already do.

Puck: You wanted my side of things, there it is. It might not be the deep emotional tale you wanted, but that's all I got.

[pucksherman]

text 💬 puckley

Ripley: yeah that is exactly why. i don't think we would've talked either. and i say this but i know why. i hate that it's so hard for us to talk about this. it's like beau said before. he would've thought us being a couple was his first reaction but after how we've been communicating he just immediately knew that wasn't it or wouldn't work or whatever. and i don't want him to be right about that.

Ripley: i could never have any negative feelings towards you. not like that anyways. i... sure i was confused this whole time and it was kind of fucking with my head but i also just decided to not do anything about it. i can't blame you for that either. i just wish we talked about this sooner.

Ripley: do you want to? to try and be together for real?

Puck: it hasn't really worked out in the past lol so i can't blame you. he said that? wow, he definitely has been saying a lot of things lately, and has a lot of opinions for someone who's told me repeatedly he has nothing to do with any of this 🙄

Puck: i get it, i was confused too. a line was crossed and neither of us knew what it meant or how to talk to each other about it. things get pretty crazy in that situation. and yeah, i wish i'd just said something instead of walking away that one time, because we'd probably be a lot less confused by now but... guess all we can do is figure it out from here, huh?

Puck: do you want to? i'm not trying to deflect and just follow your lead, just trying to get your thoughts on it all. i mean, we both have thought about it sure, but that doesn't mean you want to. and i'm not saying i don't, at all. like the opposite, i just, well, don't want you to feel like you have to, is all.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 purene

Irene: woah dude, do you need to like bang one out? you seem hella upset.

Irene: okay!! uh i was painting these pair of jeans that i think would look amazing on someone's wall 👀 it COULD be mine but it's already covered in a million projects

Puck: upset is a good word for it, but nah. don't think that's gonna be the solution here lmao

Puck: painting pants? like how?

[pucksherman]

text 📲 push

Cash: I'm not going to lie, that sounds REALLY cool! I've always wanted to go to a Trolls themed rave! And that means we can have loads of pastries and goodies since they're crazy about sugar and stuff!

Cash: Uuuh I mean, it sounds fun, but honestly? I don't want to throw a party if it'll enable a drinking habit? And I know that's lame of me but that's how I am.

Puck: Dude, right? It'd be hella lit, especially with glow sticks and black lights. Just make sure people party responsibly too and pick up, because wow, that'd leave SUCH a mess behind lol

Puck: I'm so not arguing about whether I have a drinking habit because then it'll definitely sound like I have one. It's not that though, so chill. I'd just rather drink at a party than at home, it ain't that deep.

[pucksherman]

text 💬 puckley

Ripley: sometimes you can't tell with guys. i never really knew if you both saw me as like a sister or just a friend or your hot friend. hell yeah i was panicking! i had no idea if we were just hooking up or if it was something more than that. but at the same time i didnt really want to ask because then we might stop? and yeah it's like ... exactly like that. like .. ugh I can't even talk right, right now! being alone in a room with you, i just knew I couldn't keep my hands off you. like there was no way not after the first kiss.

Ripley: well, yeah. everything's changed already i guess... but that's just now. you know how like when someone litters and throws their one item in the ocean it's bad, it makes a splash it could hit something. but the longer it's there is an everlasting impact on the environment that could be unforeseeable. maybe it just increases toxicity, maybe it leaks chemicals, maybe it kills precious life. I really should've chosen a different metaphor because I don't mean to compare us to killing the environment, that's not how i feel at all.

Ripley: and you know my history, puck. i haven't been able to maintain a stable relationship past a few months I can't do that to you. it wouldn't be fair to have us go through all of this only for me to possibly lose interest in the future. and it's not that i can see it happening because I don't but i didnt before either. and how do we know what we feel isn't just us being sexually attracted to each other?? puck, there's so much shit.. I don't know what to do.

Puck: good, that's exactly how it should be lol guess i kinda fucked that up now that, well, you know. ah, so that's why the text instead of actually talking this out. i mean, it's probably a good call, i really doubt we would have really talked. avoiding the talk has kind of been our m.o. lately.

Puck: which is how everything got fucked up, probably. and not that i'd normally pick that analogy? but it feels pretty damn accurate to me tbh. not because i think that we'd be a disaster or anything, god that sounded dumb. but like everything else? it seems about right.

Puck: yeah, i know. and i really do not mean this in a blamey way, trust me. i know how shitty it feels to be blamed for something that's beyond your control. but that's what stopped me from saying anything whenever i wanted to. and i wanted to talk before, but i wasn't sure what to say or if that'd make you feel any type of way towards me... the last thing i want to do is hurt or upset you.

[pucksherman]

text 📲 buck

Beau: I never said you were the bad guy, and I don't think you are one. The fact that you think that just lets me know you didn't read a single thing I sent, which hurts me even more. I'm pouring my heart out to you, I thought we were having a real conversation, but when I didn't react how you wanted me too, you mentally ran away. If that's how you want to be, avoiding things because they're too awkward or inconvenient or whatever for you, go ahead. I feel like I have to point out, though, that that's EXACTLY how you ended up hurting Ripley so badly, by ignoring her, and that if nothing else, maybe you should learn from that not to avoid your problems. Just a thought.

Puck: You didn't have to, everything you just said did a good enough job telling me that you think that. And I read everything, why do you think I don't have anything to say? I'm speechless after reading that. I honestly can't believe that my best friend would say those things to me, even if they follow it with a 'if you say so, I'll believe you.' Reading those things hurt, Beau. And you don't know the full story, so yeah, getting a text about how I've been lying when really I've been trying to figure my shit out kind of hurts. Being accused of taking advantage of our best friend hurts. You assuming that I manipulated this whole situation like Rip was some kind of scheme or something really fucking hurts. Sorry I didn't know right away that it would turn into more than just a dumb thing we did at Christmas. Sorry if I didn't realize right after we had sex the first time that I actually had feelings, and sorry that I didn't know how to tell her that. I know I have a lot of things to be sorry for, but none of them were the things you said I did.

Puck: It feels like just because I didn't figure things out immediately that I'm being blamed for this entire thing, and it's not like it was just me involved! Sorry if you felt like you were left out, but I was struggling with not only trying to figure out how I felt about one friend, but how to tell the other everything once I had my shit figured out. If that's not done on a timeline you would have liked, not a damn thing I can do about it. I can't help that it took me as long as it did, and I can't fix the mistakes I've already made. This has nothing to do with getting any kind of avoiding problems and everything to do with the fact that I'm being judged for something you weren't there for.