Purrfectly Imperfect; chapter 3
That night, at dinner, I numbly prodded my meatballs with a fork.
"Is something wrong, honey?" Mama asked
I looked at her and smiled, "No. Just a long day at school."
Mama furrowed her brow, pursing her lips.
"I got a call from one of your teachers earlier."
"I can explain!" I spat out quickly, rising from my seat.
"Miss Ralph said you were doodling in class today."
"What?! No!" I shook my head, "I was note taking! Why would she say that?"
Trembling again, I gripped my fork.
"She…ripped it all up. My research on bird wings."
Mama sighed, running a hand through her hair.
"That notebook was on sale, we can buy you another one." She spoke after some silence, "But your research needs to be done during free time."
My eyes were leaking again. If I did get the same notebook and decorate it with the same stickers, it'd just get destroyed again. Even if I behaved during class, trying really hard to focus on the lectures and assignments, my effort would never be good enough for the teachers. Or anyone.
"I'm…I'm sorry." I pitifully whimpered. "I won't do it again."
"Just eat your dinner for me, then you can relax."
I sat back down, jabbing my fork into the meatballs and lifting them into my mouth. The taste of tomato sauce made me gag. I wanted to retch. But I got them down in the end.
I washed my plate after dinner, and trudged like a zombie into my room. My room was never clean. I never bothered to clean up the piles of trash or hair I pulled out. Or pick up my clothes from the floor.
Changing into my clean, fluffy pajamas, I flopped onto my bed, hiding from the world underneath my floral comforter. My wings cocooned me, lilacs flooding my nostrils. I stroked my wings, silently praying to myself.
Please let me become stronger.
Please let me become smarter.
Please let me become somebody else.
Somebody who wasn't sensitive. Somebody brave who had friends. Somebody that made something of themselves.
It's not like I never tried to make friends. I tried taking an interest to what everyone was talking about. To involve myself with them. But it never worked. They always shunned me.
I poked my head out from the blanket, peering up at the waning gibbous state of the moon. I stared at it for awhile, maybe I was hoping it'd say hello or give me some answers. Regardless, the gentle light was so calming. Maybe Eden's natural sattelite could be my friend.
"Hello, moon." I croaked out at the brilliant sphere, "Thank you for sharing your light with me. I like the company."
Naturally, it didn't respond. How could it? The moon had no mouth.
But that night, I told the moon of my woes, and my deepest desires of flight. The moonlight itself felt like it was gently holding my hand.
"I have a favor to ask, moon." I said, "But please don't feel like you have to do it."
"Can you send me a friend my way, moon? Or give me the strength to face each new day?"
"I'm scared, moon." I said after a brief pause. "I'm scared of the world. What if I'm too much for it? What if I never find my place?"
No response. But that was fine with me. The moon does a lot for our planet. Such as maintaining the ocean tides and keeping asteroids away. I felt a little guilty asking it for such a favor. Maybe the moon had enough on it's plate for a simple cat like me.
"Thank you for listening, moon." I smiled. "Good night. I'll see you tomorrow."