Rivetra Secret Santa

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All submissions have been posted.

Since it's Christmas soon, you brats have the day off but don't go around making trouble. Stay away from the alcohol if you are fucking underage.

Merry Christmas and remember to report back for training tomorrow!

//It was kinda fun to organize this. Hope you all enjoy the gifts and have a fantastic Christmas and also Happy New Year!

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Hi! I changed my mind and I’d like to post this anonymously if that’s ok? Thank you!!! Hope this is good enough! This is for lettersecho :)  

"Seasons may change,

winter to spring 

But I love you until the end of time.”

-Come What May, Moulin Rouge 

*Spring*

“Boussard! 10 meter, on your right!”

Levi’s squad was deep in the throes of battle the first time he’d really looked at Petra. After he’d taken down the aberrant before him, he turned to shout directions to his squad members when he saw her and froze for a moment.

She had flung herself skywards so high that it seemed she would fly into the sun. Her body arched into the streaming sunlight, and the corporal detected the unmistakable joy that spilled across her features as she leapt. It hit her face the same way the sunlight did. Her arms were thrown back behind her, and coppery strands of hair danced leisurely around her face. The momentary serenity of her expression was breathtaking, and time stopped or at the very least slowed for a beat or two.

Then, slowly returning to the tempo of the battle at hand, Petra’s golden eyes flashed with determination and she released a cable effortlessly to dive at the target below her. Her descent was so fast that were it not for the intensity of her focus and the sharpness of the angle, she could have been falling. Moving as a blur, she rocketed into the aberrant, plunging her sword deep into its neck and whirling out again. The titan collapsed immediately, and she landed on its chest, her own heaving as she caught her breath.

Levi caught himself thinking that she looked equally beautiful bathed in sunlight and the blood of an 8 meter. He felt his heartbeat sputter a little, and for the first time, he regretted choosing her to be part of his squad.

*Summer*

            Levi had no intention of going in the lake. It was filthy and probably more fish crap than water, he pointed out to his squad, but the sun was relentless that day, so they ignored their captain and began to undo their harnesses and peel their sweaty clothes from their bodies.

Which would be fine, if Petra weren’t unbuttoning her shirt and letting it cascade down her shoulders, exposing miles of flushed, freckled skin and curves that could kill a man. Levi swallowed thickly and felt his body humming at the sight of her breasts straining against the fabric of her chest binder. Ever the soldier, he couldn’t resist mentally mapping out the places on the long white expanse of unchartered territory where he’d touch first, which parts he’d run his tongue gently and which parts he’d graze with his teeth, maybe a little less gently…

His reverie was jarred by Petra’s squealing; Erd had scooped her up and tossed her to Auruo, who twirled her around and shouted something pretentious, commending himself on his strength and agility. She whacked his chest in halfhearted protest, throwing her head back and laughing as the boys prepared to throw her again.

Well, he wasn’t about to let Auruo and Erd manhandle one of his best soldiers, he thought to himself. He supposed he was obligated to join them. With a sigh of defeat, he shrugged off his shirt and began to wade into the grimy water. The fact that Petra blushed slightly at the sight of his naked chest and suddenly fixed her gaze rather determinedly on a set of lily pads made it difficult for Levi to suppress a smirk. It seemed he wasn’t the only one who was affected.

*Fall*

            Somewhere along the line, they’ve stopped pretending to look away from each other. At some indeterminate point, they each made the decision to let their eyes burn into the others, the way they were doing now. They’d put down their rakes and sat down ostensibly to watch the sunset, but it seemed a waste to look away from Petra bathed in its glow, and in his defense, she certainly wasn’t watching it either.

“You’ve got leaves in your hair,” he noted gruffly, running a hand through her brassy locks to shake away the offending detritus. Her hair was impossibly soft.

His hand was still knotted in her hair, seemingly of its own accord.

He didn’t recall choosing to crash his mouth to hers, his lips slanting hungrily over her own and coaxing soft moans and gasps from her that made his head spin, or sucking her tongue into his mouth until both their knees shook, or walking her backwards until she fell into the leaves and he lay there with her, pressing her body into the damp earth.

But then, he thought briefly, before she ran her nails over his scalp and coherent thought was lost to him, he’d never really had a choice where Petra was concerned.

*Winter*

It had been Levi’s idea to keep it from the squad. He didn’t want to cause dissension. He didn’t want the appearance of unfair advantage. He didn’t want her teammates to look at her differently. As he paced around the room, uncharacteristically frantic, Petra patiently listened to all of these qualms with an infuriatingly knowing expression on her face and agreed.

He felt confident that his decision, and when they left for breakfast from separate rooms with perfectly neutral expressions, he harbored no anxiety that there would be any suspicions.

He caught her eye briefly as she appeared behind him at the entrance way to the dining area, gold eyes as bright and cheerful but with no indication of what had transpired between them. She noticed him staring and nodded politely. After much debate, he decided he would sit next to her to eat his porridge. He did so nearly every day anyway, and there was no reason for it to be conspicuous.

But then Mike inhaled deeply, and looking between Petra and his captain, and grinned wider than usual. At the sign of his grin, Auruo shouted about Gunther owing him money, Erd gallantly attempted to obscure his chuckling with a piece of toast, and Petra shook her head with fond exasperation before leaning over to whisper to Levi, who was stunned and confused.

“We smell like each other,” she told him knowingly. “Mike can tell.”

With mingled embarrassment and a surprising sense of relief, Levi allowed Petra to slip her hand into his and focused with surprising determination on his breakfast.

*Spring*

Petra had a habit, a habit that would be infuriating were it not also sort of adorable, of waking up at the crack of dawn to look out at the grounds, claiming she could see the first flowers coming up even though the world was still cold and sludgy from the long winter. On this particular morning, Levi found it more infuriating than adorable, suddenly deprived of the soft warmth pressed against him to which he had become so accustomed.

“Back to bed, Ral,” he growled, lazily opening one eye. “That is an order.”

She cocked her head, eyes flashing with sudden intent in an almost Levi-like fashion.

“Make me, corporal.”

Levi arched an eyebrow and instantly leapt out from under the sheets towards her. She squealed happily and took off down the hall with Levi pounding after her with an expression of mock severity. He caught a glimpse of Erwin shaking his head in fond exasperation before he finally caught up to her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

“Gotcha,” he murmured.

As she laughed her wonderfully rich, musical laugh and pressed her cold feet vindictively against his legs, a thought crossed his head unbidden, almost like a jinx: that if he didn’t have her, he didn’t know what he’d do.

*Summer*

Levi had developed a habit, quite possibly even more annoying than Petra’s, of saying unbelievably inappropriate things to her in French with everyone watching.

Petra understood French, but could not speak it, and regretted telling him every day of her life. When she’d confessed it initially, he had smiled the most evil and un-Levi like smile she’d ever seen and leaned over to whisper the dirtiest thing that popped into his head. And continued to do so everywhere they went. He would whisper in her ear at breakfast about how good she tasted, make a show of inspecting her collar before murmuring that he wanted to fuck her until she couldn’t stand. He was incorrigible, he knew, but it was the only thing he’d ever seen make Petra flush like that, and he was addicted.

But to her credit, Petra was nothing if not a fast learner. She studiously recorded everything he muttered with disdain under his breath when Auruo does something foolish, the traces of French words he breathed in his sleep sometimes, and the words that used to sound like nonsense that spilled out of him when he came. She played them over and over until one day she sidled up to him at breakfast and whispers in flawless French that she’s been thinking about the way he feels pressed against her when he’s hard all morning.

 His glass shattered in his hands, and for once his expression was anything but calm.

*Fall*

They had said tentative goodbyes before a dozen missions in the last year, but never with the strange sinking feeling that Levi had in his stomach today. He was seized with an unusual sense of desperation as he watched Petra saddle her horse.

He thought he was alone in his quiet terror and never finished thoughts of what if she- what if I- what if we- until she turned to him and didn’t need words to tell him that she was really and truly afraid.  

She leapt into his arms at the exact moment he hauled her into them, their bodies instantly crushed together as they kissed hungrily and urgently, kissed like they couldn’t breathe. He clashed his teeth and tongue with hers, drinking her more than kissing her, pulling her hair back until she cried and he could suck on her collarbone until it left a mark. They’d all be coming home with bruises anyway, if they came home at all, he thought bitterly. Why not get a head start?

With a ferocious look on her face, Petra backed him up into the pile of hay in the stable corner- it’s clean she growled as if to quell his protests, although for once he made none- and straddled him. She unbuttoned his pants with shaking but determined hands.

Don’t go his mind whispered suddenly, insistently, almost like a prayer. He wasn’t sure where it came from.

They’d had sex a thousand different times in the past year, for a thousand different reasons. Gently and with scorching looks in their eyes when he’d first mumbled that he loved her, aggressively when they’d survived something horrible half fucking and half making sure the other was still there. But this was different. This was something hungry. This, he thought to himself as he felt her tears on his cheek before mixing them with his own, was desperate.

He realized hours later when he was folding the patch from her uniform in his hands that without realizing it, they had been saying goodbye.

*Winter*

Levi was a soldier before anything else. Sometimes before a man, even. So he led his troops, now mostly newer and younger faces, through their duties with stoic indifference. He hadn’t fallen apart, hadn’t missed a step, hadn’t given anyone any indication of his suffering because he couldn’t afford to. He was a captain. He was efficient, he was calm, he was unfazed; he was a machine. And sometimes, if he was being honest, he really felt like one.

The only times he felt human, and achingly so, were the times he faced the handful of small reminders of Petra that were scattered throughout the universe. The copper colored bird that fluttered outside his window sometimes in a flash of gold that he thought for a split second could have been Petra’s hair, the brief whiffs of her soft, unnamable smell that he sometimes caught from god knows where…even Yeager’s eyes sometimes, the way they flashed at him obstinately, reminded him of Petra. But for as sudden and stirring as the emotions these moments inspired were, they were gone the second after, leaving him breathless for a minute before they faded away and he with them.

But then that was fitting, because Petra was the one who made him human to begin with. Petra was the one who made coffee that actually tasted like something, who made him actually laugh sometimes- that never happened anymore, he could never muster more than a slight quirk of his lips. Touching her had overwhelmed him with feeling, like he was burning alive and drowning all at once. He felt everything when it came to Petra, and its absence was crushing him from the inside.

Some days he honestly wished he would cry or throw something. He wanted to wallow in the grief of missing her because that was all of her he had left. Petra would have cried, and for that and a thousand other reasons, she was braver and better than he was. 

And even though he wasn’t capable of crying, even though he wasn’t capable of speaking the words out loud, even though they could no longer do any good, he thought them every day.

Don’t go. Don’t go. Please don’t go. 

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

Rivetra Secret Santa

Here is my submission for the Secret Santa. I am gifting to number 4, nonsense-shit. I decided to make it happy! This is my first fanfic so I hope you enjoy it. Merry Christmas!

He stared fondly over her, admiring her essence, her beauty.

  She continued to sleep soundly, not being disturbed in the slightest by his presence.

  He never imagined he would enjoy things this way, truthfully, he never imagined this at all. Someone as wonderful as Petra Ral, loving him so much.

  He didn’t understand how or why she came to love him but she did, and he loved her too.

  The thoughts of silent late nights over hot tea came to mind. Gentle conversations from a whisper away. They stole glances from one another in the hallway, soft touches in the heat of the night, holding each other close. He always made sure to let her know she was special.

  It wasn’t even something he had noticed; her presence was overbearing. He began to soften around her, others noticed too. Especially that Shitty Glasses, Hanji. She’d question why he was heading the opposite direction of the bathroom because the bathroom’s that way and Petra’s in the kitchen. He’d tell her to fuck off. They’d continue on like this for ages.

  In truth, she was right. Even he began to get careless. His wants began to over weigh his needs. He would sneak into her room at night, wouldn’t even bother with being quiet. Neither would she.

  But it didn’t matter; that was the love they shared.

  The sheets rustled nearby as Petra turned gently. Levi didn’t move an inch.

  He truly didn’t deserve her. Her and all of her beauty. Those honeyed eyes, bright rosy lips. Of all the people in this world, she chose him. He who killed, he who scorned, he who knew that he would never be deserving of such happiness, but there it was. Like a blistering light, as though it shone down from Heaven to let him know that maybe this little bit of happiness was deserved.

  The sheets rustled again, a different set of sheets. In one swift motion, Levi rose to his feet and briskly walked over to the foot of Petra’s bed. There he watched the bundled up new life gently cooing.

  She blinked slowly. Then hiccuped.

  Levi raised her out of the crib, gently rocking her.

  “What’s going on?”, the woman now awoken from her slumber sleepily yawned.

  “Good morning, Petra.” Levi walked over to her, setting himself down beside her. “It looks like you’re both awake.”

  Petra smiled gently, watching her husband dote on their daughter.

  “I always knew you’d make a good father”, she whispered before gently planting a kiss upon his forehead.

  Levi looked around; at his wife, his daughter.

  Petra was the Sun, he, the Moon. Little baby Autumn was their Earth.

  He was happy.

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

ghost girl.

A/N: Heavily influenced by The Lovely Bones. This is Part II of my gift for seasaltmemories. This isn’t even christmassy but still, Merry Christmas! I hope you like this as well. :)

This is the story of how I died.

I do not have a name for I was only four months old when it happened. But somehow, here in the in-between, I am older, I am wiser. I am at my prime and I watch over those whom I left behind.

I died on a stormy winter night hours shy of my father’s birthday, hours shy of Christmas. We were on our way to my grandfather’s.

Grandfather owned a ski resort up a mountain, you see. The roads leading up were treacherous and frozen in ice. Dad lost control of the car; mom screamed. I was not aware I was going to die back then. How could I be? I was so small, no larger than a foot.

I left blood and destruction, tears and sorrow as my soul made its way here. Mom wrapped her arms around her tummy to protect me, but it was all in vain. The impact was too great to endure for someone as small as I.

Dad had three broken ribs; mom had a fractured leg and an injured spine. Dad needed stitches for the cut on his abdomen, mom needed to get my body out of her system, lest I poison her. 

Dad woke up first and the first thing that escapes his parched lips is her name. I watched as he blinked confusion out of his eyes and looked over to the right, to where my mother is lying on another bed, unconscious and looking half a ghost amidst all the beeping machines. I watched as a small cry escaped from my father’s mouth, I know he wants nothing more than for her to be alright.

He tried to pull the IV out of his arm to get to her, tried to sit up, only to find that his body is strapped to the bed. I wanted to cry as I watched my father trash miserably against the bonds.

He had tears in his eyes as he reached out for her and called her name, hoping and praying that she heard him.

I was so worried for my parents that I never noticed that my grandfather was there, I completely forgot about him. Poor old man must have blamed himself for the accident. He watched over them and I watched over him while mother continues to slumber and father continues to fight the bonds in his determination to hold her hand (the nurses resulted to sedating him in order to calm him down)

I wanted to go down to earth to tell grandfather that he need not worry for I have bought their lives with mine.

* Two months pass and my father has recovered enough to be out of the bed and grandfather can finally relax a little, knowing that dad would never let anything happen to my mother. He told grandfather to go home and rest, that from now on it’s his turn to guard her and protect her, that it’s time he fulfill what he vowed to her on their wedding day.

He is aware of my departing, I’m quite sure of it. But he chooses not to think about it and keeps the thought at the back of his mind, focusing all his attention to his wife.

I don’t think he has time to mourn his dead child just yet.

* It’s been months since the accident and mom is slowly turning into a corpse, her skin is translucent and there is very little meat on her bones. But despite this, my father always tells her that she’s beautiful, always tells her that he loves her in her sleep in hopes of bringing her back to life.

There was a time when I was playing on the swing set when I thought I saw mother walking towards me.

I stopped pushing my heels on the ground and stared wide-eyed at this woman who looks exactly just like my mother but with laugh lines at the corner of her eyes and mouth, and a pair of striking blue eyes instead of honey. 

“Hello, child,” she smiled and sat on the other swing. I blinked at her before saying hello back.

I must have looked ridiculous with my mouth wide open and eyes fixed on her, she told me that she’s my grandmother and the looks made sense.

She took my hand and asked for my name.

I told her I have none.

* Grandmother has a house here. I guess you get to have one when you’ve been here for years. She grows vegetables in her backyard and there’s also a tall tree there, too. I asked her if I could make a tree house and live there. She said yes and helped me build it.

There are other kids here, too. Most of them are like me.

Dead before their time.

* It’s almost a year now and mom is no longer at the hospital. She’s at home now but still connected to an oxygen tank and to a machine that tell us that her heart is still beating.

Dad got an online job as a tutor so he can stay at home and take care of her. Grandfather would visit often and play chess with him.

But I know that they fear for her life, I fear for it too.

Once, while I was reading, I heard an awful sound that filled me with horror.

Something must have been happening down on earth. I looked just in time to see my father rushing up to my mother’s side - his face paler than usual and then I knew.

I turned to look away. I couldn’t bear to see the look on my father’s face, so full of sorrow, so full of regret.

I rushed up to my tree house and locked myself up, curled into myself and cried.

This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening. This isn’t happening.

I tell myself this over and over and over until I’m certain that this isn’t true, that this is nothing more than a misunderstanding in God’s timepiece.

How awful, don’t you think, it is for a man to lose his first child and the woman he loves within the same year?

* Grandmother knocked on my door and told me what I was dreading to hear.  

“She’s waiting for you inside the house.”

I inhaled. I exhaled. I opened the door and there was my mother, sitting on my grandma’s couch as if nothing’s wrong. I was filled with anger.

You’re not supposed to be here is the first thing I said to my mother.

What a horrible child I was, saying such a hurtful thing to my mother. But she smiled and stood to wrap me in her arms and whispered I know.

“You’re beautiful, my child, I wish your father could see you,” she smiled and I told her that I am sorry and that she is beautiful, too.

We cried together, mother and child, and when I inhaled her scent and exhaled – she was gone.

Later, I found out that my mother’s heart stopped beating and was only revived by a defibrillator.

I watched as she opened her eyes on earth as my father wept at her side.

She looked up, she was looking straight at me, and mouthed I love you.

* I watched as my mother recovered and learned how walk, listened as she told my father about me and the in-between and about grandmother. I watched as he smirked and told her that it was all in her mind, that she was only high on medications.

She smiled at him, “Whatever you say, Levi.”

But I knew deep in my bones that he believes her. And later, when she was asleep in his arms, he finally allowed himself to weep over his dead child.

Forgive me for I was not able to save you.

I went down to earth then and kissed the crown of his head.

There is nothing to apologize for, father. Forgive yourself.

And I knew he heard.

* Five years since the accident and my mother gave birth to my little sister.

She is called Adara and she fills the gap I left in my parents’ hearts.

One night, when she was eight, I sneaked out of the gates on the in-between to go down to earth. I wanted to see my little sister up close. She’s sitting on her bed, reading Little Red Riding Hood. She looks exactly like mother, except for her steel grey eyes.

I wanted to hold her, wrap my arms around her tiny frame, and feel her heart beat against my unbeating one.

But I know I can’t. It is forbidden. They say that people feel you when you touch them or when you come too close. They feel you in the form of a cold gentle breeze or hear you in a light twinkling of bells.

But I am a rebel and I am reckless and nothing can stop me from letting my sister know that I watch over them, that I am still alive, somehow. That I am in the air they breathe.

I whispered her name. The page of her book turned. Her brows knit together and I can feel her eyes on me.

I smiled. She stared.

I tried to say her name, but my words are wind and when she blinked, I am gone.

* “Do you regret dying, child?” my grandmother asked.

I told her I do not know.  

* Years passed and I watched as my sister grew up and fell in love. I watched as the hair on my parents’ head turned to grey.

I watched and I loved and I knew then that I do not regret dying.

THE END.

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

"And I’d choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I’d find you and I’d choose you." - Kiersten White, The Chaos of Stars

Merry Christmas, seasaltmemories! I hope you like it! <3

out of my league - stephen speaks || no ordinary love - mymp || she is love - parachute || heart’s on fire - passenger || one and only you - parokya ni edgar || wherever you will go - charlene soraia || latch - sam smith || only hope - mandy moore || a thousand years - christina perri || almost lover - a fine frenzy || let her go - jasmine thompson || devil’s tears - angus & julia stone

{listen} {art}

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

NSFW Rivetra Secret Santa for askcorporalackerman

Rivetra Secret Santa for askcorporalackerman from the-bark-is-worse, #117

Words: 1,021

Warning: NSFW

"Happy Birthday." She rolled on top of him, pressing her lips to his. It was a light kiss, the gentleness and skewed position of her lips a sign she had just woken moments ago.

He opened one eye to peak at her, one hand moving to rest at the curve of her waist.

"Don’t you mean ‘Merry Christmas.’" He grumbled as her lips lazily made their way up his jaw line. She smiled into his skin, a hint of amusement evident in the tone of her voice.

"I wanted to wish you the most important thing first." Petra continued to litter his skin with her kisses, the rays of the rising sun lining perfectly along her path.

"Christmas has been around, and will be around far longer than I will ever exist in this shitty world." Levi spoke, the palm of his hand flat against her back, moving up and down slowly under the fabric of her night shirt. Petra tuts, her hand coming to his forehead and pushing his bags up and out of his face. Their hazy gazes met as she pressed her nose to his, pulling the covers up and over their heads.

"Doesn’t matter. If I had to choose between the two, I’d certainly pick your birthday first." She kissed him again, a bit firmer, though quickly deterred to working a path of kisses on the other side of his face. He hummed in response, his free hand cupping her behind and pulling her closer as the other continued to slowly run along her spine.

"Though, I do have to say you’ve been such a good boy this year." Petra whispered, nibbling on his earlobe. A grunt sounded from Levi in response, his lips far too busy with the soft skin of her neck to form words. She could feel his tightness underneath her; the morning certainly making her job easier as her hand travelled down to stroke him through the fabric of his nightwear. Levi hissed into her skin, the sensation causing a chill to run through her body and evoke the beginnings of her own arousal. Petra’s hand continued to slowly stroke, squeeze, caress, her lazy, half lidded eyes meeting with his again and giving him an even lazier, half turned smile.

"No more talking." Levi grunted, the lingering sleepiness causing him to miss his first and second attempt at pulling down her panties half way down her thighs.

With a small, barely audible chuckle, she complied with his request, dipping her hand into the fabric band at his waist, giving him a firmer squeeze. Petra hummed as he nipped at her neck, his arm awkwardly knocking into hers as he made his own attempts to reciprocate the attention she was giving him, a quivering feeling skating through the pit of her stomach at his touch. Their hands continued their work on one another, Petra pulling on his bottom lip and eliciting a groan from the ‘birthday boy’ as her thumb worked small circles against the tip of his erection. She finally pulled down his bottoms, exposing him. His hands gripped her hips as she moved her waist closer to his, rubbing her slick folds against him and sharing her wetness with his stiff cock.

“Fuck, Petra.” He mumbled almost incoherently, breaking his own established desire for not talking. Mustering up enough energy, his grip on her tightened as he flipped them both over so that he was on top of her.

Petra wrinkled her nose at him. “I’m supposed to be the one doing the work, you know.” Her plan to completely please him hadn’t gone exactly how she had thought it would, though it was rare he ever entertained the idea of sitting back and doing nothing, even if he was still half asleep.

Nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck, he positioned his tip to her entrance, slowly pushing inside. Petra’s arms loosely embraced him as he laggardly rocked his hips into her. She closed her eyes, relishing the feeling of a gentle, morning fuck as the bed hardly creaked beneath them. Levi kept his face in her neck, inhaling her scent as he effortlessly thrust in and out of her; the light hums and soft moans sounding from her sweeter than the sound of ringing sleigh bells during the holiday season.

The cover Petra had pulled over them dipped down slowly to Levi’s shoulders, their pressed chests pushing against each other from each breath they took and the movements of their love making. His hand came between their bodies, his fingers rubbing against her clit to help her find her own release, as he felt his fast approaching. She whimpered, biting onto her lip as she came closer and closer to the edge, her back finally arching as she rode out her gentle orgasm. Levi continued to caress her, and with a few, final thrusts, came inside of her.

Petra’s hand rested against the back of his head, her fingers softly scratching the undercut of his hair as he lazily stayed on top of her, both catching what little breath they had lost. They laid there for a few minutes, eyes closed as they lost themselves in the feeling of each other. Finally pulling himself out and off of her, he gave her a quick peck on the lips before sitting on the edge of the bed, stretching his limbs and cracking his joints.

“Mm, I take it you’re awake now.” She spoke, a small smirk on her lips as she situated herself.

“Awake enough for you, not for anyone else.” He grumbled, pulling out a fresh change of clothes and disappearing into the bathroom just in time as a loud pounding noise sounded from the door.

“LEVI!” Petra blinked, head turning towards the door as their titan-crazed friend continued to bang on the door.

“Petra, hurry and wake Levi! It’s not Christmas until the birthday boy comes downstairs!”

Petra chuckled, shaking her head in amusement as she stood to get ready for the day herself, and wondering if she was even awake enough to deal with everyone else. 

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

(From 7)

For @savingprimrose <3

Merry Christmas Dear, and I hope you have a happy holiday.

Mabuhay :D

High Res Version

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

THE BEST RIVETRA FIC EVER

The second part of my gift for Rivetra Secret Santa for lilchibihanna. She knows who this is, which is why I had to take the opportunity and just run with it. Please, enjoy this marvelous work of literature. I intend to record this later for you, Hanna!

One day petra and teh levi bby were fightin tittans and THEN PETRA WAS GRABBED BY THE TEETaN!?!?!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111 LEVI GRABbed his sblades and then he stabbed them in the titan neck and teh tiTAN was ded

„OH LEVI-HEICHO SAMA“ Pet swooned with little pink heart in her eyes. Her hert beated like DOKIE DOKI DOKI DESU and her face turned a lil red to

„i did dat 4 u babby“ elvi whispeded back and he kissed her IN THE MIDDLE OF TEH SURVEY CORPS AN D HANJI SCREAMED YAHOOOOOOO Obecause she shipped rivetra 2. it was her best otp even better dan sonny x bean!!!!!

„YOU COULD HAVE GOT KILLD“ PETRA SCREAMED wit her swet voice that sound like somethin really relly reLLY sweet. REALLY

„but petro i luv u“ hevi cry a lil bit. He didnt usully cry cause he i s so cool and humanitys strongest and also sexyist but he cry for petra

„I LOVE U 2“ petra sed n they kiss. levi was getting pretty HOT! So he decided he is gonna make poun d cake wit her rite their. but he dont have no l ube so dey use bleach as lube and hanji shit glasses as condom

BTU the condum break and so they had lotsa RIVETRA BABIES!!!!!!!!!111111 :) :) :)

the end

FOR NOW!!!

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

Santa, Baby

Here is my first part of my gift to lilchibihanna. Have a little drabble! Merry Christmas, bby!

It’s a little awkward, having Levi’s birthday fall on Christmas Day. Petra had never been quite sure whether to wish him happy holidays or to congratulate him on another year lived. So this year when she meets him in his office, she does both.

"Merry Christmas and happy birthday, Levi!“ she chirps, handing him the small wrapped box in her hands. Levi simply stares disapprovingly at the present.

"What’s this?“ he asks, but Petra’s grin doesn’t falter.

"You won’t know until you open it,“ she retorts, and Levi huffs and tears at the brightly coloured paper. The package feels extremely light in his hands and the captain momentarily wonders if she’s actually gotten him nothing at all. Despite this, he doesn’t hesitate in opening the box. Nestled inside is…

"What the fuck, Petra.“

"…You don’t like them?“

"Is this a joke?“ He looks back up at her, his eyes now harsh steel. Petra can’t bring herself to look at him directly.

"I… I made them myself, sir.“

"My feet aren’t that fucking small. Even someone with half a brain would know that.“

"Those socks aren’t for you, Levi.“

"Then why…?“ He searches her face for answers, and her grin is now back, giddy and slightly mischevous. The answer’s clear now, and he stares at her bewildered for what seems to be an eternity.

"You’re pregnant?“ he asks at last, his mouth dry. His thoughts begin to race: What is he going to do when the Commander finds out? How is he going to be able to support a baby? Will Petra stay in the Survey Corps?

How does Petra have the nerve to laugh at this?

"Got you!“ she manages through her giggles. “What?“ Levi can’t seem to process anything.

"It was a joke! I’m not having a baby,“ Petra explains, planting a quick peck on Levi’s cheek, but Levi scowls.

"You’re saying. You came here. On my birthday. Just so you could play some sort of shitty prank on me?“ he asks sharply. Something like this will have to be severely punished, and he’s about to put her on sole cleaning duty for three weeks when she answers, "Of course not. I’ve got your actual present right here.“

She doesn’t move to give him anything else, though, and Levi is about to open his mouth to ask where the present is when Petra points to the red ribbon tied in her hair.

"Aren’t you going to open it?“ she asks teasingly. The captain just growls and crashes his lips to hers.

"Don’t ever scare me like that again.“

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Secret Santa

Here is my gift for frenchieleigh ^-^ It is the fiction and the picture ^^’ http://secretshai.deviantart.com/art/The-perfect-gift-501427659

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Race (From Pammazola to silvereyedthief)

While the rest of the world had long since been lulled into a deep slumber, he was wide awake. In fact, he had never felt more alive in any other given moment of his life. Pure adrenaline pulsed swiftly though his veins. Black bangs clung to his wet forehead as he worked as fast as the computer would permit. Page after page flashed before his grey eyes as he feverishly drank in more information, anything that he could use to save her. He only paused long enough for his papers to print. Taking the opportunity to regain his bearings, he sighed, leaning back in his chair and wiped the sweat from his brow. To spend nearly half the night surfing the Internet drained him. But she was worth it. Petra was too precious to him to lose.

None of this had been planned. Levi had never considered he would fall in love with the broken young woman; their attraction was inexplicable. He was a respected, well-known business man who previously cared for nothing except the power and fortunes which were yet to be in his grasp. Petra was orphaned at an early age. The streets were her home for nearly fifteen years.

Levi discovered the penniless, amber-eyed girl living in the dark alleys downtown and suddenly he could not just walk away as he might have before. She was something special.

He soon learned that she harnessed a terrible burden. She carried the weight of a small boy’s death who, like her, had been homeless. They were friends for a short time, but she could not have rescued him from the running rapids of the river that brushed the banks. Once fallen, he was swept away, and the groping black fingers of water pulled him under until he was completely submerged.

Levi made a temporary home for her, fed her, but still there was no way to erase the misery that shown in her lifeless eyes. It did not matter how hard he tried to convince her that the drowning was out of her control but she refused to listen. So instead, she turned to the only person left she thought truly understood her situation: God. Running away from Levi would’ve proved worthless. He even said he would simply bring her back. By joining a sisterhood of nuns, Petra believed she might finally find the peace that continued to elude her, and maybe, just maybe, she would be forgiven.

Firmly convinced that she was making the worst decision of her life, Levi had resorted to desperate measures. Hell, at her age, Petra hadn’t really lived. She needed to give the real world a chance, give HIM a chance. There was not a trace of regret in his mind from the previous night, when he went as far as to make love to the girl, and what he thought was his last opportunity to make her stay. Levi had never felt such emotion towards anyone before her, and his heart lurched painfully. It was difficult for him to accept the fact his love had not been enough to change her mind.

Snatching the papers off the printer that contained what he thought was solid evidence that becoming a nun was a horrible idea, Levi hastily exited the apartment. The night was cold, but he did not take the time to put on a jacket. He didn’t care. A quick glance at the clock in his car told him it was already past midnight. For just a second he clasped the papers to his chest, as if they were his lifeline, and in a way, they were. The link to his Petra.

Hopefully, when she read them, she would understand what she was giving up. Levi could not imagine making such a commitment and the horror of never to be able to touch someone intimately ever again… The girl was so stubborn. 

And still…. He knew, at the end of his journey through these silent streets, he would come to find Petra, sitting in her room, praying by candlelight.

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Merry Christmas! To: the-bark-is-worse From: askcorporalackerman <3

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for:mathmusicreading

petra slumped down into her seat, trying to ignore the sound of metal-on-metal coming from beneath her. taking the subway was never her preference, but it couldn’t be avoided that day. she had had a meeting all the way on the other side of town from where she lived, and when she got out around eleven, the moon already high in the sky, she decided she was too exhausted to walk home.

the train eased to a stop and her eyes closed slightly in the stillness. a wave of people left and a new wave set in. just across from her she could see a boy her age, a pencil in his hand, notebook down below it. how . . intriguing.

there was a wall to the left of her face and she leaned against it slightly, remembering her tiredness. soon she couldn’t help it. her vision got blurry, everything around her turning into dull shapes, and then messes of color, and the nothing.

when she woke, it wasn’t to the screeching halt of the train. it was smooth. her eyes popped open, amber irises glancing around. she sat up, seeing the current rotation of passengers hadn’t yet changed. across from her was still the boy-

oh.

he had flipped his notebook around, brads and spiral wires twisted opposite, and on the page facing her, she saw herself.

it was a surprise. he must’ve drawn her while she was asleep. the image was clear, with her leaning up against the wall, hands in her lap, a small strand of hair in her face. it was gorgeous.

looking up, she realized he was asleep.

the familiar noise depicting a stop sounded. before the boy could wake, she ripped out her phone and snapped a picture of the drawing. then she quickly stood along with the mass, recognizing this as her stop. her hands still moved, sending the picture to a friend, with a note, ‘look how amazing this is!’, attached.

levi peeked his eyes open at the annoying sound. he hated subways. too much noise. looking up, he caught sight of the girl across from him standing, looking down at his drawing-oops.

he reached over and slammed it shut, stuffing it into the bag at his side. the action might’ve appeared anger-ish, and really, he was seething, not believing he had fell asleep with it open, yet he was smiling.

she had liked it. he’d seen enough to tell him that.

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Where Life Begins: The Rising Insecurities of Fatherhood

“Wait here.”

Levi’s command was short and simple as he pulled his keys from the pocket of his knee-length peacoat, fiddling for the one that would unlock the door to the home he shared with his wife over the bakery they owned. He wouldn’t have her climbing the stairs, not yet.

His hands shook slightly as he guided the key into the lock, and pushed the door open. They’d renovated two years prior, combining the two apartments that had once faced each other, returning the space to a single family dwelling. It was easy to call it home; he had felt at ease in this space since he first rented that tiny apartment across the way, ever since he had first laid eyes on Petra Ral.

But she was Petra Ackerman now, he mused as he propped open their front door with a bottle of wine from the counter, and he never regretted it, not once, no matter what his former employer had warned him of. 

Satisfied with the opening, he thundered back down the stairs, crouching down on the landing, and tucking a blanket more firmly around the tiny baby, his daughter, sound asleep in her carrier. She wasn’t even four days old yet and he felt uneasy while he slipped his arm under the handle of the car seat, preparing to carry her up the stairs and into her new home 

Petra smiled at her husband, watching as he took the stairs at half speed.

“I can carry her if you’d like,” she offered, knowing what his answer would be.

“You’re not coming up here in that condition.”

“It’s not a condition, Levi. I just had a baby,” she reminded him playfully, raising her voice as he reached the top of the stairs, placing their child an exact foot from the threshold. Not close enough to fall, but not far away enough where he wouldn’t be able to see her.

“The doctors said you’re to rest,” he chastised, lifting his wife up into his arms and making his third trip to the second floor, “so you will rest.”

When he put her down she shrugged at him and lifted the carrier off the floor a few inches, much to her husband’s dismay, scooting the baby into the living room. 

“What do you say, Isabel?” she cooed to the sleeping child, pulling back the blanket and undoing the buckles that kept her snugly in her seat, “would you like to come out and see your new home?”

She didn’t respond, of course, so comfortable where she sat. 

“Oh, Levi—“ Petra twisted around to point into the kitchen, waving her hand at the table, “Can you put the signs up, please?”

He gave her a curt nod, picking up the hand painted signs she had bought on some sort of internet site. They were identical, save the colours of the words and they read, Shhh. Quiet please! Mommy and baby are resting.

Levi snorted as he scooped up the plastic hooks she had set aside for them. If she thought these stupid things were going to keep out her stream of well wishers, she was sadly mistaken. He was surprised no one had been waiting for them when they arrived home from the hospital. 

He heard her grunt, lifting the baby from the carrier before she went off into some cooing motherly gibberish, giggling when Isabel curled her teenie body in the air, scrunching her sleeping face and protesting against being pulled from the warmth of her nest. 

“Awwww, it’s okay,” he heard Petra purr while he hung up her ridiculous signs, one on their front door, one on the bedroom, and one on the nursery. Did she really need three? Wouldn’t it just be easier for him to turn down anyone who knocked on their door?

“Sit down, Petra,” he called from the hall where he was putting the last satin bowed ribbon on the hook. 

Rocking the baby in her arms, she sauntered down the hall, not wanting to speak too loudly. “I’ve been sitting and laying for three days, Levi,” she protested quietly, nudging open the door to the nursery and stepping inside, “a week and three days if you count the seven days before we were even admitted into the hospital.”

“Will you ever do as your told?” he wondered, lids turned down over his cobalt eyes, leaning against the door frame. 

“Not so long as you’re the one giving orders,” she replied, lowering herself into a plush rocking chair, her lips turning up into a cheeky grin. 

He crossed his arms at this, scowling at her but the expression didn’t last long. Isabel began to squirm, waking again, and out from her mouth, an awkward cackle of a cry came forth. She moved closer to Petra’s chest, nuzzling against her blouse in search of nourishment. Petra responded with a hushed okay, okay baby and while she readied herself and her daughter, Levi reached over and pulled a blanket from a white wicker basket on the floor, a gift from Erd and his wife. 

Draping the small crocheted afghan over the infant seemed to satisfy her a bit, and when she found her food source, she relaxed, eyes drifting closed once again. He smiled. It was slight, and Petra didn’t notice, focused on the baby in her arms, but he didn’t want to be noticed. He just wanted to watch. He wanted to admire them both, to count the two blessings before him and hold them dearly for the rest of his days. 

It was a wonder to him that something so small, so fragile, yet so beautiful, could have been made by him. He had spent the better part of his existence taking life away, yet despite his wicked actions, he had been granted the chance to create life, to protect it, and to atone for what he’d done.

It was overwhelming.

“Why Isabel?” 

It was a question that had nagged Petra since the very first moment he had suggested, no, decided on a name for their daughter. He had been so certain, his tone so absolute, she hadn’t tried for another. 

He didn’t look at her, but stroked the baby’s cheek with the back of one of his fingers, watching with awe as his newborn child nursed contentedly in her mother’s arms. 

“It was my mother’s name,” he said quietly, making no change in his expression when Petra’s eyes widened. Even after three years of marriage, he had never once spoken about any family he may or may not have had before Erwin had taken him under his wing.

Petra moved to speak, but Levi wasn’t ready for questions just yet. 

“At least I think she was my mother,” he put in, running his fingertip over Isabel’s jawline, marveling at how large and cumbersome he felt in comparison, “I hope she was my mother.” He sighed, heart heavy at the memories. “I loved her.”

There was a soft silence as his wife allowed him to share his past in peace, without judgement or intrusion. Isabel began to fidget and her tiny, awkward little arm jerked upwards, unused to using such muscles. Her palm spread and gently he offered her a finger. She caught it and, content with the hold she had on her father, settled back against Petra, continuing her meal, eyes closed, mouth turned up in satisfaction.

Petra had always assumed his parents were no longer living, but to hear him speak of his mother in the past tense, to see his eyes reflect a sadness she hadn’t seen since before they were wed…it gutted her. But still she wanted to know more.

“What happened to her?”

It was a question she wasn’t sure if he was ready to answer. He might not have ever been ready to answer. As he sat in silence, concentrated on his daughter, he contemplated the same thing. Was he ready? No. Did he ever want to speak of it? No. 

But he should.

Petra deserved to know, she deserved to harbor his secrets with him, to understand him the way he understood her. So, with a soft exhale, he relaxed, lowering himself down to the gliding footstool before the rocker, not pulling his finger from the baby’s grasp. It was remarkably comforting.

“She was killed,” he nearly whispered, “when I was six.”

His wife didn’t respond and he didn’t expect her to. 

“She ran a halfway house in the slums of Sina,” he continued, gliding the footstool back and forth slowly, giving himself a soft rhythm for his tale.

“I didn’t know there were slums in Sina,” she responded quietly, never having been to the glamorous city herself.

Levi shrugged, “that’s because they don’t put it on the brochures.”

She smiled at that, but he didn’t.

“I didn’t know it at first, but the house wasn’t really for people trying to get their shit together. It was a cache for a drug cartel. My mother let them work in and from the house, and they supplied her with income and protection from the bigger dangers of the city.” 

Isabel released her grip on his finger, stretched, and reached for him again.

“They protected her and they protected me,” he said, tickling her palm for a few seconds before he granted her the hold she wanted, “until things went bad.

“There was bad blood between the men who worked at our house and some other bunch and when it boiled over, it came to our doorstep.”

He swallowed, his throat tight and awkward. This wasn’t the right time, but his mouth wouldn’t stop. The words kept pouring forth.

“She tried to hide me. I was just a kid, so I was valuable. She knew it, they know it, everyone fucking knew it. She offered to give up all the information she had, to give them the cartel as long as they’d keep me out of it.”

Petra clutched Isabel close to her breast, unable, even after just four days, to imagine the thought of her child taken from her side. 

“They got their information,” he said, “then they killed her and took me anyway.”

“What did they want with you?” she asked, unable to wrap her head around the horrors he had experienced at such a young age. 

“I was six, Petra,” he pressed, “they could have made me into anything they wanted. Told me anything and I would have fuckin’ believed it as long as it ended with a slice of cake or a few coins.”

Children were remarkably impressionable; he certainly had been, and now that he was grown, he understood why they were such a hot commodity in the underground. He didn’t approve of the practice, but he understood it. 

“Anyway,” he sighed, bringing his other hand to rest atop the grey and pink blanket Isabel was wrapped in, “I was only in their care for a couple of days. Then the Big Man came in and took me back to my own people.”

“The Big Man? Like…the boss?”

“Kenny Ackerman, yeah,” he said, his voice a lot lighter now, “He ran the cartel. Taught me how to read and do numbers and that kind of shit. My mother was gone but he made sure I was fed and had a clean bed to sleep in, stuff like that.”

Petra smiled at that. She didn’t imagine life in a cartel to be very pleasant, but Levi had nothing to compare it to. He had been taken care of in his own way. 

“Kenny Ackerman,” she repeated, “was he your father?”

Levi took his bottom lip between his teeth in thought, smoothing out the blanket. It was a question he had asked himself for years, but never voiced. 

“I don’t know,” he said with a shrug, “maybe. Probably. He was always gentle with my mother even though he was dick to everyone else.” 

“Where is he now?” 

He shrugged again, ready to be through with this conversation. “Dunno. I had a little bitch fit when I was fifteen and left. Joined up with Erwin two years later and you know the rest.”

Petra buttoned her blouse, shaking her head and chuckling. “Yes, I bet the life of the syndicate’s most deadly contracted killer was far more glamorous than running odd jobs for a drug cartel.”

“Why are you laughing.”

She looked up at him, golden eyes shimmering in the afternoon light and leaned forward, kissing his cheek.

“Because look at you now. You’re a baker, a husband, a father, and,” she paused, nodding to the door as their curly cat Auruo strolled in to observe the newest member of his domain, “you own a cat.”

Levi frowned. “That’s your cat.”

“He’s our cat,” she corrected, bringing herself to a stand, waving him off as he tried to help her up. 

“Will you hold her now?” she asked, tucking the blanket around the baby, “now that we’re home.”

His jaw tightened as he looked up at his wife and child. He hadn’t held Isabel in the hospital, terrified he’d drop her. For all the nurses’ insisting, he hadn’t budged. He also hadn’t let many others touch his daughter. 

Wash you hands! he had demanded of visitors. 

No. Again.

No one had been clean enough, no hands fit to touch his baby girl. Especially not his own.

“Petra…”

“Levi—“

“It’s not a good idea,” he bit off. 

If his wife was willing to take no for an answer, he supposed he wouldn’t have married her.

“Sit here you stubborn man,” she scolded, using one arm to hold the baby close to her and the other to slap her husband’s shoulder blade, shoving him towards the rocker. He protested only slightly, and when he was seated on the minky cushion, he felt his heart race.

“Honestly,” sighed Petra, laying Isabel down into her father’s arms, adjusting his elbow here, and his forearm there, “big bad Levi Ackerman afraid to hold a baby.” 

“She’s my baby,” he argued, his breath catching in his throat at the weightlessness of his daughter. While he had meant to defend his fear and his insecurities, he found himself silent, speechless at the closeness he was sharing with his tiny offspring. 

“I’m going to lie down for a bit,” Petra whispered, scooping up the cat. 

Levi’s eyes snapped to hers, terror reflecting in his deep blue gaze at the thought of being left alone with such a fragile being but once again, she leaned over and graced him with a small peck of affection.

“If she cries, wake me. I’ll tend to her.”

She didn’t give him any room for argument, closing the door gently behind her. He knew what she was up to. She wanted him to bond with the baby, to spend time with her and get over his doubts. Well he didn’t have much of a choice now.

Arms locked in a stiff, baby holding position, Levi looked down at the little girl, sleeping without a care. He wanted to touch her again, to feel her cheek, so soft and perfect, against his calloused fingertips. But could he? With a deep inhale, he pulled one of his hands out, inch by inch, lest she tumble from his hold. 

This was stupid, he thought. People held babies every day and he doubted any of them got dropped. He shouldn’t be any exception to this. Just in case, he pulled the gliding footstool towards him, propping his feet up with bended knees, and creating a barrier between his daughter and the floor with his thighs.

Much better.

“So,” he began, enjoying the soft feel of her skin once again, “I’m your father.”

He stopped. How cold that sounded. 

“Your dad,” he amended. Then, lowering his voice just in case Petra was eavesdropping on him, he whispered to her, “your papa.”

She didn’t respond, unfazed by his introduction, so he relaxed a bit, allowing himself to sink a little deeper into the chair, rocking them in it.

“I’ll be taking care of you, so don’t cause too much trouble. And don’t make messes that you can’t clean up. If you pull Auruo’s tail he won’t scratch you, but his meow is ugly so just don’t do it.”

Isabel let out a tiny yawn, one that Levi enjoyed watching, then settled back against him, her face turned to nestle in the crook of his elbow. 

“You’ll probably be pissing all over yourself for a while, being a baby and all so…I’ll be cleaning you up a lot.” He thought about this for a moment, then frowned. “And that’s gross, so I guess I’ll also help teach you to…not. . do that.”

“Papa never went to school,” he continued, “but you will. And you’ll have little bratty friends that your mother and I will have to entertain. You could play with Erd’s boy if you want.  Farlan. He’s not a total loser yet.”

He was three.

That was all the important stuff, wasn’t it? She was just a baby after all; he didn’t need to tell her how to run the pastry shop downstairs just yet. It’s not as if she would have remembered the instructions anyway. 

For a while he simply rocked her. He didn’t speak, but he did pray. To what or to whom, he wasn’t sure. Anyone who was listening, he supposed. He prayed for guidance, to know how to care for and protect this precious gift. He prayed that she would like him, that she would trust him, and that she would look to him for strength. But most of all, he prayed that he would never, even inadvertently, bring harm to her.

Levi didn’t know how many minutes passed, so lost in his desperation to find a hold on what it might be to be a good father, but when the child in his arms began to squirm, he stopped the chair’s movement, looking on curiously. Was she hungry again? Would she cry?

Isabel’s eyes opened as did her her mouth, emitting a strange little half-squeal, caught in a yawn. Though she didn’t cry outright, she whimpered, limbs jerking around underneath the blanket. 

“Don’t cry,” he pleaded softly, “please just let your mother sleep a little bit.”

He looked to his left where a cubed unit sat, decorated with plush toys in some of the blocks, and books in others. Books. Yes. He could read to her. That always seemed to calm children down. 

“Here,” he said, adjusting his arms once he had a hold on the first book he could reach. He propped her up on his chest, allowing her to see the illustrations, and opened the bright yellow cover of the book he had found.

“One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.” 

He turned the page.

“Black fish, blue fish, old fish, new fish.”

What was the deal with these fish?

He cleared his throat, continuing on, “This one has a little star. This one has a little—“ he stopped. “a car? Really? The fish has a car?”

Leaning off to the side, he tilted his head to gauge his daughter’s reaction. “Do you like this book?” She didn’t seem all that interested in it, so he flipped through the pages, muttering to himself. “Let’s see if this gets any better.”

It didn’t.

“But we know a man called Mr. Gump. Mr. Gump has a seven hump wump. So. If you like to go bump bump! Just jump on the hump…of…the wump of…Gump.”

Levi stared at the illustration before him, a horrifying caricature of what could have only been a deranged camel.

“What the fuck is this shit.”

Isabel made a tiny “hm” in reply. 

“Yeah that’s what I thought,” he agreed, standing, holding the now closed book between two fingers and he tried to re-tuck the blanket around her tiny body. He slid the terrifying piece of literature back into its place, making a mental note not to allow Petra to shop alone, and with a newfound confidence, walked, newbown in arms, towards the door.

“Let’s find you something more interesting,” he mused, slipping from the nursery, making his way into the living room where his latest read was waiting for him on a tray at the coffee table. 

It was colder in here, so with a slow crouch, he bent over, pulling a blanket of his own from a basket by the couch and congratulating himself on his one-armed baby hold. It wasn’t so difficult after all. 

Lowering himself to the cushions, he stretched out, propping himself up with a pillow, and making a small nook for Isabel out of his right arm. This seemed to please her, as she stared at his hands, opening to the first page of the novel. It was an action series with far more coherence than that monstrosity in the nursery even if he was beginning to doubt the author’s ability to keep the plot on track. 

“Here we go,” he said, turning to the first page. “ready?”

Isabel blinked and he cleared his throat.

“And on that day, humanity received a grim reminder. We lived in fear of the titans, and were disgraced to live inside these cages we called walls…”

xxxx

It was near dinnertime when Petra woke from her nap, Auruo kneading at her chest, reminding her of his hunger. When she saw the time on the clock, her heart jumped, her stomach flip-flopped, and she panicked. Was Levi alright? It had been almost three hours. Although she wanted to believe both her husband and child were fine, as a new mother, she couldn’t help but think they might not be.

Pushing the cat aside, she leapt from the bed, her tender woman parts protesting at the harsh action. 

It was time for Isabel to eat. Had she not cried for her mother?

The house was silent, the nursery empty.

Calm down, she told herself, continuing down the hallway, en route to the open space of the main living area. So often she had been told silence was golden, but now, as a parent, silence was horrifying. 

When she stepped into the living room, she froze. Her heart calmed itself for a mere second before it began to work double time but this time not out of fear, but adoration, and sentiment. 

With a book in one hand, and Isabel in his arms, Levi lay asleep on the couch. Their daughter snoozed atop his chest, her tiny hand gripping the collar of his tee shirt for security. Grinning, Petra took a few steps back, crouching to retrieve her phone from the diaper bag, and took advantage of the moment, capturing it with her camera. 

“See?” she whispered, planting a kiss on each of their foreheads, “you’re a natural.”

xxxx

Author’s Notes: Waaahhhhh I hope you enjoyed it~ I’m not accustomed to writing things that are fluffy and heartwarming soooo I hope I did an okay job. :3

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Missing Mistletoe (From No. 8888)

AU where Erd and Hanji has a bet of whether the former can get a picture of Levi and Petra kissing under the mistletoe.

Merry Christmas, emilykochva! <3

“You think they’ll notice it?”

“I don’t think so, unless someone blabbers unknowingly.” Erd shoots a dirty look at Auruo who just shrugged as if spoiling their previous plan wasn’t a big deal at all.

“What? How would I know Levi was looking over my shoulder at the canteen?”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. But I must say, this is tradition!”

Gunther looks up at their piece of work and says wryly, “Anything is tradition to you as long as you get to see some action.”

“I’m sure you guys will see it my way soon!”

::::

Christmas is approaching and while his subordinates are busy putting up the wreaths and fake snow – “You shit heads better clean this up before the New Year” – at every corner, Levi prefers keeping his office and personal spic and span, which means no snow, no ornaments, and no shitty tree – especially the big ass tree Erd originally wanted to bring in.

“Awww, come on, Levi. It’s Christmas!”

Levi looks up at his girlfriend who is drowning in the jolly mood already. “It’s just another day,” he deadpans and resumes typing the shitty contract draft which is due three hours later.

“It also means your birthday is approaching too!”

“Still another day.”

Petra huffs at how disinterested her boyfriend is; stupid old man. She racks her brain for an idea and remembers something rather annoying hanging by the doorway. Running out of his office without so much as a see ya later, Petra found the ornament but since she is as tall as Levi is cheerful, her eyes zoom in on Auruo.

“Auruo, get over here.”

“Hmmm? Whad fdo yu whan?”

Petra ignores the disgusting look on his face sucking the candy cane and points upwards. “Help me retrieve that.”

“Fpor whad?”

“Nothing you need to know. Just help me get it.”

Auruo leans down and eyes her suspiciously, wondering what his friend is up to now. “Shay pweas.”

Petra clasps her hands together and looks at him with puppy eyes. “Pretty please with Petra on top.”

The tall man promptly chokes on his candy cane and spits the offending sweet out. “Fucking hell, Petra. Don’t say that kind of thing!”

“Whatever! Help me get the damn thing down now!”

Auruo grumbles at her impatience and Petra holds herself back from throttling him since he’s helping her out. The moment the decoration piece is within arm’s reach, Petra grabs it and runs off screaming over her shoulder, “I’ll bake some cookies for you next week!”

“Yeah, yeah.” He waves it off and walks back to his cubicle. Settling comfortably into his seat, he remembers something important.

“Shit.”

::::

“So, what do you think of Christmas now?” she giggles at the glazed over look in his eyes.

“Shut up, Petra.” He growls before pulling her in for another kiss.

::::

Gunther looks on as Erd strangles Auruo in a choke-hold.

“What do you mean Petra took the mistletoe?!”

“She demanded it!”

*choking sound*

“You know how that pint-sized demon is when something doesn’t go her way.” He tries to plead for mercy.

Erd releases his ex-friend and weeps pathetically on Gunther’s shoulder, “Now I owe Hanji 500 bucks!”

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

Broken Together

For freeasthepaperburns, inspired by "Broken Together" by Casting Crowns. Merry Christmas!

It was a whirlwind of a relationship, and now Petra wonders if any of it wasn’t the honeymoon stage and planning the wedding. How much do we know each other now, and how much did we know each other then?

In a relationship, there are three words and there are four words that can mean everything.

"We need to talk. I love you, but, Levi, what are we doing?"

They sit facing each other at the table after dinner, so close and yet with an immutable obstacle between them.

"Levi, what do you think of when you see me; what do you see?"

Levi’s hands hold his cup of tea and he looks down and then back up at her.

"I see my beautiful wife, the not-meant-to-be bride who was meant to be."

"But this isn’t a fairy tale, is it. ‘The lovers reunited after death, their love given new life.’ Levi, I, I think we weren’t ready then or now for marriage. We dove headlong into love with the passion of fulfilling unfulfilled dreams and the passion of love during war we’d had before. But we aren’t those people, and those past lives can’t dictate our current lives.

Maybe we were never meant to live again and to repeat our lives. Maybe living again and remembering your past doesn’t let you be complete, but leaves youbroken in the next life.”

Petra continues through the tears threatening to spill and choke her.

"We’re not whole together because we’re not truly together, aligned, and we’re not whole apart. How well did we know each other then, and how well do we know each other now? Who are we, now, and what do we want?

I feel so alone with you sometimes. We never talk about the true horrors, the fears, the darkest side of our past lives. It’s always the joy and wonder of getting our chance to be together as we were meant to. When I first saw you again I felt that joy and wonder and love, and you wanted to get married and I said yes. But what are we doing now? When it comes to the present, we don’t talk. What do we want to do together, what do we want to do, how do we want to live, do we want to keep living here, do we want children? This is our domesticity but is it what we want? The wedding went perfectly, like a fairy tale, but we weren’t ready for marriage.”

Levi’s own voice is tight. “Petra, we love each other and we have this second chance at that, at something so beautiful that I thought I’d never have. I don’t know what I want to do or if I want children; for me being with you isn’t just enough, it’s everything.

I agree we haven’t spent the time together now like we did then, that we don’t know each other now like we did then, that I need to talk more, and that we aren’t the same people. But do you, do you want a divorce?”

"I want more than promises. I love you, Levi, but we can’t make it on love alone. We’re broken together, broken people. Could we not be a broken us, and instead be broken people who are together and together are less broken? I need to be able to look at you, and know you don’t regret the choice you made in asking me to marry you.

If we still believe in us, if we still believe in each other, I want to go to marriage counseling.”

[rivetra-secretsanta-blog]

Never Enough (From No. 1598)

For x-magnolia-x, I hope you like it. :)

"You go first," Petra says. "I still have a couple of things to do. I’ll take the bus."

Levi just nods and kisses her goodbye before going to his car—they usually go together, with Levi dropping her off to the school where she’s teaching before he goes to his work. On the back of his mind, he knows something’s not quite right; it’s the way Petra woke up this morning next to him. It’s the way she made him breakfast. It’s the way her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. It’s the way she doesn’t sing in the shower, like she usually does in the other mornings.

When you’ve been married to a person for seven years, you know something’s not quite right from the little things that should be there but they are not.

He tries to call her once he has arrived in his office—but it goes to her mailbox.

"Hey it’s me," he says through his phone. "I don’t know—I just feel like something’s… off with you… Call me?"

—

He tries to call her again after he’s inside of his cubicle.

This is Petra Ral-Ackerman. If you’re getting this, chances are I’m busy. Please leave the message after the beep.

—

He tries again during his works.

No luck.

—

He stares at his phone again, tempted to grab it, to dial her numbers he knows by heart—but he has been giving her too many messages he’s afraid when she gets them, she will be the one worrying instead.

Maybe, he thinks not to hopeful, that this is just him—she’s actually okay, and he shouldn’t be worried.

But who would be okay after last night?

He grabs his phone again, only this time, it’s not her numbers he’s dialing; it’s her school’s.

—

Nanaba answers it.

"She called us to say she’s not feeling well and she won’t teach today, Levi." From her voice, it is certain that Nanaba is confused, who wouldn’t be if your friend’s husband calling to her work, asking for her when she just called you half an hour before, saying she won’t come for work?

"I see," he replies, his mind quickly looks for another reply that will make him less confused than Nanaba is. "Thanks, Nanaba."

"Are you two… okay?"

Levi doesn’t answer right away. He tries to choose the right words to make him look less confused than Nanaba. That, and while he appreciates other people’s concern about them both, he’s not really comfortable with their affection.

"Uh," he stammers. "Actually, I just remember she told me this morning, she was not feeling well. I think she forgot to call me to say she’s staying at home."

"That must be it," replies Nanaba, he can hear relief in her voice. "Tell her I wish she’ll get well very soon, I can tell the students already miss her."

"Right," he mumbles.

—

"Petra?" He knocks on the door, which is very weird because he never knocks. He usually comes in and Petra will be already inside.

But the door’s locked, and the house seems empty.

Levi decides to come home early—or more than early, since it was 11am when he headed toward his car.

He uses his spare keys—and the whole house is dark.

"Petra?" He calls out.

No answer.

He looks in their room, but no one is there. He knows Petra is somewhere in the house—and he just knows she’s in that room. Again.

And he is right; she’s laying on the bed in that room, eyes closed but he can’t tell if she is sleeping or pretending to. He walks quietly to her, laying himself beside her and slowly, wrapping his arm around her waist from behind while he buries his face on her hair.

She stiffens under his touch, but she makes no effort to pull away.

It eventually hurts him to see her like this; to see her wanting to pull away while he wants to be closer, but she also knows getting away will make him hurt more. It will make them both hurt more. And so they pretend everything is okay while it is not.

Levi wants to say something to comfort her, but he doesn’t know what to say. What to say to a woman who badly wants children, but later finds out her husband can’t give it?

Should he say, ”I’m sorry but hey I don’t want to have a child anyway.”

No. This is not just about him; this is about her, and both of them. This is something they should work on as a married couple. But how?

Like they say, when you love someone, you only just let them a chance to hurt you more.

But Levi has no intention to hurt Petra; if anything, he just wants her to be happy. He doesn’t care about anything else but her happiness. He will give everything just to see the smile reaches her eyes, just to hear her laughter filling the quiet house.

He doesn’t realize he is shaking.

"I’m sorry." She says, turning to him, touching his cheek. And he realizes she has been crying.

"Don’t be."

"I’m so selfish… I should’ve been the one who’d be there for you—"

"It’s okay. It’s okay." He pulls her closer as she starts to cry again. "We’ll get through this." He makes it to sound like a promise, but he knows it is not.

"We’ll get through this." He says it again, to hear what it sounds like.

Like a lie.

—

Later, no sound will fill the house.

He will be home late.

She will say she wants to have dinner with her father.

He will say he has lots of work to do.

She will say she will be spending the night at her childhood’s home.

He will walk aimlessly around the city, not wanting to go home to find an empty house, not wanting to have no one waiting for him.

She will go to the school, saying anything she already knows, but her mind is not really there.

He will call her, but the call will go to the mailbox instead, which makes him feeling relieved.

She will listen to all of his messages, but she always hesitates to return them.

They both will know, they are actually avoiding each other.

—

There is no harm in admitting they actually miss each other. And when they think of each other, there will always be one or two memories passing on their mind.

They know it is not the end of the world, but they can’t help blaming each other and themselves.

Levi, for being unable to give what Petra wants, feels guilty but also wants her to understand.

Petra, for being the one who badly wants a presence of a child in their house, feels guilty for giving him some pressure, but also wants to be selfish sometimes.

Sooner or later, they know they have to talk, but now, they just want to not have to face each other. Never mind sleeping in the same bed.

They have reached the point where they know love is not enough. It will never be.

—

She finds him sleeping on the couch. It has been a long time for her to be there; to be home. To be in the same room with her husband.

She kneels in front of his sleeping face and starts stroking his cheek, looking at him.

She suddenly longs to be in his arms, where she feels safe and anything cannot hurt her in any ways.

But what will she do, if the person she feels safe with, is the one that hurts her?

She knows it is not his fault, but she still feels the pain whenever she remembers she won’t be having his child. She won’t be seeing a girl or a boy with hair like his, and eyes like hers.

But she also knows she still wants it to work; she still wants to wake up to him every morning. She still wants to wait for him whenever he comes home late. She still wants to see him smile—which he rarely does.

He wakes up.

"Hey," she says, one hand still on his cheek.

He gets up and reaches for her, pulling her to his arms, pressing his lips gently to her forehead.

She closes her eyes. She knows love is never enough, but right now, she will give anything to see how it all will work out.

They will get through it, won’t they?

—

One look at Mikasa, and Petra knows she wants her to be a part of this family.

"She reminds me of you." says Petra to Levi. "Black hair, never smiles but has a lovely smile."

"My smile is not lovely."

She rolls her eyes, but she knows that means a yes, he agrees Mikasa is actually like him. Yes, he can imagine Mikasa growing up in this house. Yes, he can imagine Petra reading a book to her at night before sleep. Yes, he can imagine them walking together, Petra beside Mikasa, holding her hand, asking how her day went while Levi on the other side, holding Mikasa’s other hand. Yes, he can imagine Mikasa calling Petra “Mom”, and calling him “Dad”. Yes, he can imagine Mikasa being a part of the family.

Even if it turns out Mikasa will be taller than both of them.