right now in my life i am never ok alone. u see lots of girls as i call em not women just how i am most of them ignore me or act like i dont exist. also lots of others feel i dont exist or like barely talk to me or dont talk to me at all and dont include me in things or ask me if i want to do anything. its like oh yea your still a friend but they exclude me in everything they do. also for the girl thing most girls feel i am to ugly to creepy and never their type they make me out like i am a worthless pos a mistake kind of thing. thing also is that when i am out anywhere and i find or notice girls out in groups all dressed up wearing things i wish i was its like they are all out having fun going shopping or out to eat or do other fun stuff like concerts or conventions or even vacations and for me i feel left out and feel like charlie brown. mostly all i ever do anymore is that i end up going out to free dinners and maybe a library. if there is a day that there is no dinner and i dont go out that day i feel very upset and major sadness and dont feel like doing much at all and just stay home. for me i am into goth girls but most goth girls either dont want a b/f are wanting a b/f but i dont fit their requirements and am to ugly for them or that they are already taken. lastly when i am out alone i feel like i need to cry a flood or that when i am home and no one is wanting to talk to me at all on facebook or anywhere i feel like why bother. cause of the way i feel and how badly i am treated and ignored and all i have told my own mother i dont care how much bad food i eat i dont care how much sugar or butter i eat that i dont care if something is left out a few hours that i would still eat it get sick or that if eggs are a little old i wouldnt care cause mostly girls dont care how i feel or why they would rather i not exist. its like if they cant care bout me why should i be caring alone.