totally twinning rn with my mootie patootie @charmmy-kittty!
I like Higurashi, NSO (Needy Streamer Overload), Vocaloid (especially Miku, but Kaito's my second favorite, and Vflower's third), Project Diva (my favorite game's F!), TF2, WuWa (like Shorekeeper and Phrolova the most), Danganronpa (Mikan, Celestia and Gundham supremacy), Enstars (Mayoi lives in my walls), DDLC (Yuri's best girl!!), Sims (2 rule's!), Deltarune, Undertale, Obey Me, a date with death 1 and 2, Last defense academy (Eito's my fav, woah, how predictable) and finally, anime and manga!
Here's a list of the manga's i have read and can confirm are good, so if youre looking for something new, feel free to give some of these a read!
Frieren beyond journeys end, Land of the lustrous, Danganronpa, bocchi the rock, spy x family, chainsaw man, 100 girlfriends that really really really really love you, fire punch, sayonara eri, look back, suicide girl, gachiakuta, ouran highschool host club, desutoro 246, goodnight punpun, kakegurui, future diary, rascal does not dream of bunny girl senpai, black rock shooter and toilet bound hanako kun.
please dont be afraid to send asks or chat with me! talking and meeting new ppl is always neat and very much welcome!
please keep in mind, that none of my vent/rant posts are targeted or about anyone unless (i specifically state so in the post itself), so theres no need to fear or worry!
Well then, may we meet again, and have a super great day!
It's been over a year of stewing in it all, and I'm long overdue a general summary: why have I been fixated on Takumi having emotional neglect and related trauma, when there are other characters in the roster who fit the bill more? What's there to see in his story that's really so bad?
Well, leaving my early speculations aside, it isn't about that.
(Also leaving aside other complications with the memories for the time being- that's a conversation for another time)
For one, it's the vibes. It’s the feeling that permeates his background in a way that I feel like doesn’t happen for any other- the sneaking feeling of 'is this really normal' underneath a mask. And sometimes that's enough, especially when the introduction shows self-esteem issues- emotional neglect is one thing that's very much deniable to the sufferer, as well as being hard for other people to notice just looking.
Also, the thing about 'normal' is that it's basically 'all you've ever known', regardless of whether or not everything's 'all right'. So you can have lots of photos that look like everything's fine, but every now and then there's one that looks strained, like the subjects are trying to mask. And, of course there's an explanation. Ex: 'It's a formal photo. That toddler is just sleepy. The sun's in that boy's eyes. It was a bad shot of the mother. They She didn't like that dress.' Except it sticks out like a sore thumb doesn't it? Why are there happy(tm) photos where no one is happy?
In Takumi's case, we see 'snippets' of his mundane home life, with one indicating a wall between him and his only close friend while at school. It could be that he was just annoyed with her that day, or a sign that he was becoming strained around her and he needed space- space to grow, beyond the promise and being the 'psuedo-dad' for Karua. This would be less a matter of his story, were it not apparent that Takumi's codependency problem can extend to the role of Team Leader later, starting from when he cowed into it after awkwardly taking praise.
It's also telling how his authority figure keeps him tied to his 'would-be romantic interest' - similar to how Sirei uses her as motivation - likely since he was very young. So if it happens that young Takumi was strained, he might have had no means of escaping that other than to dissociate early on, while dealing with swathes of his own neglected emotions. It's a basis for him being emotionally disturbed even before being brought into the war, which could explain the 'out of pocket' extreme, suicidal behaviour and self-harm ideation when he is.
The way Takumi sees it, the sirens and their reason for existing are just 'how it is'- and if he has questioned this state of affairs before, he's shut down and rationalised it over the years, something that makes him vulnerable to passive acceptance. Which would follow that the same extends to his own life, with him being at a loss for a point of reference. More importantly, he seems to have cognitive dissonance over the 'normality' in his life vis a vis him and Karua- a part of him knows well that their relationship is not normal to others, but he doesn't seem to interrogate that belief to any real conclusion. Such as, what did that mean? Was it healthy? Was he really the person he wanted to be?
Rather than 'are we normal?' Takumi needed to ask 'are we okay?'
From its basis, the 'plausible deniability' of his issues can be extremely vexing. It can be so easy to over-state what's going on, especially when from his protagonist-perspective there's nothing to be seen. But the matter here is Takumi's habitual lack of reliability to himself- he would determine that nothing was wrong if he couldn't see what was wrong. This 'out of sight, out of mind' attitude to his own problems as well as stubbornness to 'keep normality' is so quintessentially Takumi. It just so happens that this could be a complex trauma response as well.
I'm gonna say it, I do think that even the laziest person imaginable should have a roof over their head, food in their stomach, and access to healthcare
