9 months into detransition
I only come on here with updates once in a blue moon because I feel it’s important to focus on other things and not just let detransition occupy my entire mindspace all the time.
I’ve spoken with my team of doctors at the gender clinic and they’ve been very supportive, they’re so down to earth about this whole ordeal, bless them. I underwent a little bit of therapy and was put on antidepressants for a little while which has been so helpful. As for everything else, school is going alright and I’ve made some new friends too!
I remember just a few months ago, I struggled so hard to pass everyday. I spent hours putting on a full face of makeup, wearing dresses and almost whispering in public so people wouldn’t hear my voice. It’s not like that anymore, thankfully.
My hair has grown out long enough to look feminine. I’ve gotten curvier but still retained a lot of muscle mass (thank godddd), my breasts lowkey came back lol, my facial and body hair grows in wayyy slower than it used to and I’m finally getting the hang of makeup again. (For a while, I looked like a crusty drag-queen. Let’s not revisit those dark times). It’s all been about finding a routine that works for me, I don’t get all upset about having to shave anymore. I’ve mastered the art of shaving super fast and it’s become sort of a soothing, exfoliating morning routine for me. I like doing it. Lastly, my voice... I used to be so ashamed of my voice because I felt like it would keep me from passing as cis again forever. One day in january, I just got tired of listening to my own whiny bullshit all the time and decided it was time to just accept things for what they are. I am a damn nice, smart, good looking woman with one raspy fucking voice. It’s unique and I love it. You know what else I’ve come to realize? If you have the confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.
Oh and I broke up with my boyfriend. I’m happy, life is good.
