robespierre wishes he was me

i come to tumblr to kill my brain cells sorry to all involved

[gurlzkissing]

[robiest]

[fluentisonus]

they're trying to get me to do something called ""my job"" instead of reading about medieval english poaching laws

[raccoonmilf]

When I was in grade school I used to send emails to biologists and zoologists asking them questions to get answers to include in school projects I was working on, and would cry when they did not respond because I thought I was stupid for thinking that some random kid would ever be deserving of a response from someone who does something as smart and cool and important as *checks notes* studies frog fungus.

Now, at 29, I’m lowkey having a panic attack because my academic email is filled with middle schoolers wanting me to answer their questions about pygmy raccoons and I keep putting off answering them because I’m so overwhelmed with all the other raccoon stuff I have to do.

Anyway, greatest apologies to any scientist I ever emailed as a child and also an adult.

[raccoonmilf]

I know your research is really important and I appreciate all you are doing but this is so fucking funny

[wagahai-da]

tsuchinoko real

[oneheadtoanother]

[contemptible-scoundrel]

I attempted to rob a man at zweihanderpoint but unfortunately he pulled out a pike and gained the range advantage, giving me no choice but to flee

[robiest]

at our work meeting we went around the circle naming things we like in our coworkers and one said "being laidback" and I immediately started panicking. because of how laidback and chill i am you see.

[retr0scum]

Do you fucking mind

[bisexualcarriefisher]

[weepingchoir]

it’s just like ozzy osbourne said. All aboard hahahahahaha

[bisexualityjunkie]

[mellifexfarm]

behold my ugly

[despazito]

[larval-tear]

there are people out there who are naturally good at talking and making friends and standing normally and i think they should be systematically oppressed, even tortured

[wholeheartedsuggestions]

my 5 year plan is to get back my joy

[leechloach]

I need $600+ for stupid toys