Talk Shit Get Hit

Exit out the back And never show your head around again  Indie Fanbot Written by Eli Follows from Wxredwrong Mutual interaction only!

[ladyrorschach]

[lukas-musings]

                      I fuckin’ ʜᴀᴛᴇ the comments                  Why do you feel you have to ᴛᴀʟᴋ

                Nobody ᴀsᴋᴇᴅ for your OPINION                     Your sick sad way of jerkin’ off

[datarobotsuggestion]

date a robot who will protect you, and who you will protect

[datarobotsuggestion]

date a robot who doesn’t talk much unless they’re with you

[datarobotsuggestion]

date a robot who is completely and irrevocably a nerd

[roboticpunk]

"DEVON HEAVEN!" The door to the Movie Hut burst open and there was Bailey, one foot perked up, arms up in the air, dressed in a pink version of his usual card suit shirt. "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DEVON HEAVENNN!!"

Bored didn’t even begin to cover the current state of mind the male was experiencing. Not only had he had to take the opening shift that day, he was stuck sorting through the stupid romantic comedies to make sure they were in good condition to be rented for the night. As if anyone was actually going to trek their way to the Movie Hut and rent a stupid movie when they could just pull up Netflix or snag it offline. It was stupid and he’d much rather be at Bailey’s. Or lounging on the couch in the bookstore..considering his boyfriend was probably working. But here he was..the only asshole on the clock watching the dead store. His manager had called and said he’d be in later. Whenever that was.

Sudden noise and movement at the front of the store gathered his attention and he peeked around the shelves of DVD’s and Blu rays expecting to find a customer only to find his boyfriend adorned in pink. Expression immediately lifted and he all but threw the DVD case in his hand to the shelf before rushing towards the entrance, the staff lanyard around his neck swinging with the quick movements. 

“Bailey!” A grin stretched across his face and he gave the other’s outfit a once over. “Cute babe. Real cute.” 

Right. Valentine’s Day. It was pretty surreal actually having a serious relationship for the holiday. He’d shot off a quick text before going to work for Bailey to wake up to but..beyond that he hadn’t really. Done much to acknowledge the holiday. Not yet at least. Part of him hoped they could..go out to dinner tonight. Hang out? Fuck he didn’t know. They did that often. Did that mean it wasn’t as special to do it on Valentine’s Day? Was that a thing? He’d also bought Bailey a small dog plush. One of the cheesy ones that cropped up every year with the heart hanging out it’s mouth. It was currently hidden in his backpack to hand over once he was off of work. 

It wasn’t..much. He didn’t know what he was doing. 

“Pink’s a good color for you.” 

[roboticpunk]

gcldandblxe:

Oh, Bailey adored Valentine’s Day! It was pretty much his favourite holiday, besides Christmas.

The entire holiday was just…his aesthetic. All in one day. The pinks, the reds, the hearts everywhere, the couples expressing their love for each other, the chocolates and sweets to be given out, the flowers! It was all so much, and he loved every bit.

Of course, Valentine’s Day was always depressing when you were single, as he had been for the last few Valentine’s Days. But now he had Devon and he was more excited than ever for the holiday - just imagine what he and Devon could do together!

…No, wait, don’t - don’t imagine that - hey, hey, woooaaahhh - okay, wait - get your mind out of the gutter - woah, okay - OKAY. THAT’S ENOUGH NOW. God. Never prompting you with a thought process again. Geez…

The bookstore was indeed open today and Bailey was doing a sale on any book from the Romantic Fiction section, specifically for the day. The lounge area had little chocolates to snack on whilst deciding on a book, some fruit punch to drink (raspberry, strawberry and blueberry flavour; a nice pinky red for the holiday). The shop was decorated in paper hearts and streamers and things, all in red, pink and white. What could he say? He was enthusiastic.

And he simply couldn’t have waited for Devon to come to his store, so time for a change! Time to mix things up! A visit to Movie Hut! Come to think of it, he didn’t think he’d ever been to Devon’s workplace, so this was exciting! A whole new adventure on Valentine’s Day!

Of course, he’d bought Devon presents, but the punk would have to wait until their actual date for all of them. Except for one, which Bailey would present him with very soon. For now, he was covering his blushing cheeks and smiling bashfully, wiggling on the spot. “Awww, shucks! Thank you, hehe! Figured I’d change things up a bit for the holidays, hehehe!”

The brunet looked to Devon’s uniform, smile not deterring. “And what a nice outfit you’re wearing! Really makes your eyes pop! Although, I don’t know if I appreciate the hat flattening your hair, Devon Heaven. Your hair’s one of my favourite things about you!”

Of course, he knew it wasn’t like Devon had a choice in the matter, but there was no shame in giving opinions, right? Devon looked cute in his uniform, either way.

Why would Bailey want to visit Movie Hut? The whole place had a shady vibe if he were honest. Always sparsely populated save for the employees who had to be there. How it remained open? Devon would never know..and when push came to shove he’d probably have to job hunt once again. But that was a problem for future Devon. 

“You’re welcome.” 

His grin only brightened as his compliment earned a blush and wiggles from his boyfriend only to immediately turn once a compliment was thrown his way. He hated his stupid work uniform. The scratchy polo. His utterly BLANK dark jeans that were technically supposed to be slacks but no one had ever bothered to call him out over. The cheesy baseball cap he had to wear over his dyed hair with the store’s logo printed on the front.  He always made sure to change once he clocked out. Didn’t wanna be caught dead in the uniform. Besides..he was much more comfortable in his infamous vest. 

At the mention of his hat, he reached up and pulled the cap off before flinging it like a Frisbee towards the area he’d been working at. “Yeah..it’s a stupid fuckin’ hat.” As if it wasn’t obvious enough he was an employee there with the shirt, name-tag, and lanyard that had the word ‘staff’ printed all over it. 

“But hey. Since I opened this shit-stain today? I get off early~!” The only upside to the opening shift. He’d have his afternoon free for..Valentine’s shit. Right? “So I can come over and we can snag some lunch or something. I can go get it or something? Iunno.” Shoulders shrugged before he scratched at the back of his head. “Or..something else? Did you have plans? Do we have plans?” 

[roboticpunk]

"DEVON HEAVEN!" The door to the Movie Hut burst open and there was Bailey, one foot perked up, arms up in the air, dressed in a pink version of his usual card suit shirt. "HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY, DEVON HEAVENNN!!"

Bored didn’t even begin to cover the current state of mind the male was experiencing. Not only had he had to take the opening shift that day, he was stuck sorting through the stupid romantic comedies to make sure they were in good condition to be rented for the night. As if anyone was actually going to trek their way to the Movie Hut and rent a stupid movie when they could just pull up Netflix or snag it offline. It was stupid and he’d much rather be at Bailey’s. Or lounging on the couch in the bookstore..considering his boyfriend was probably working. But here he was..the only asshole on the clock watching the dead store. His manager had called and said he’d be in later. Whenever that was.

Sudden noise and movement at the front of the store gathered his attention and he peeked around the shelves of DVD’s and Blu rays expecting to find a customer only to find his boyfriend adorned in pink. Expression immediately lifted and he all but threw the DVD case in his hand to the shelf before rushing towards the entrance, the staff lanyard around his neck swinging with the quick movements. 

“Bailey!” A grin stretched across his face and he gave the other’s outfit a once over. “Cute babe. Real cute.” 

Right. Valentine’s Day. It was pretty surreal actually having a serious relationship for the holiday. He’d shot off a quick text before going to work for Bailey to wake up to but..beyond that he hadn’t really. Done much to acknowledge the holiday. Not yet at least. Part of him hoped they could..go out to dinner tonight. Hang out? Fuck he didn’t know. They did that often. Did that mean it wasn’t as special to do it on Valentine’s Day? Was that a thing? He’d also bought Bailey a small dog plush. One of the cheesy ones that cropped up every year with the heart hanging out it’s mouth. It was currently hidden in his backpack to hand over once he was off of work. 

It wasn’t..much. He didn’t know what he was doing. 

“Pink’s a good color for you.” 

[datarobotsuggestion]

date a robot who has plans for you on valentine’s day

[lukas-musings]

         My programming did not include              Emotions such as “𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮”                 These, I learned myself.                                For ʏᴏᴜ. 

[roboticpunk]

gcldandblxe:

The tail moved beneath his petting and Bailey gasped happily, his other hand flying to his cheek in awe. How adorable! Whatever technology this was made from was really something; perhaps The Engineer or Oscar could fashion something similar, so he could have a tail and ears too!

Puppy ones for him, obviously.

He grinned excitedly as he waited Devon to remove the animal features so he could try them, but he only faltered as he was told no. Bailey watched as the ears were tugged at and only caused pain in his boyfriend; his mouth opened at this once more. The…They were attached? As in…part of Devon’s body now? How strange…What on earth caused that sort of mutation to occur?

“They’re…part of you now…?” Bailey muttered, only hand to his lip in thought. How could this have happened? A stray cat scratch, perhaps? Wasn’t that one man given spider powers by a spider bite? In that movie Devon had showed him once? “Oh, my…”

Slowly, the large smile returned until Bailey was grinning and clasping his hands together. “Oh, my! My Devon Heaven is a Kitty Devon Heaven now!” He stepped forward to hug Devon around his middle in delight, resting his head against Devon’s chest, ear pressed over his heart to hear it pounding.

He paused, however, then released him and stepped back. “Um. Wait…Does this mean you…count as an animal now…? Cause, um…I love animals, Kitty Devon Heaven, but not like that…”

Ears flexed back as he watched Bailey absorb the information given. That the ears were real and the tail were real and his boyfriend actually had these things attached to himself. That they weren’t intricate accessories. 

“They’re part of me now.” He repeated, biting his bottom lip in an attempt to keep from shouting in excitement again.  He had hoped Bailey would take it well. It was kind of why he’d come rushing down to the store...but there was always the chance he wouldn’t. He. Hadn’t really prepared himself for that. 

Whoops. 

His worries were quickly relieved when the older was grinning and surging forward to wrap warm arms around his waist in an excited hug. His own arm dropped to wrap around Bailey and he grinned, ducking his head to press a quick kiss to the top of the other’s head, taking care not to disrupt his styled hair. 

“Hm?” He blinked, ears perking back up and his tail moved slowly behind him as his waist was released. “What? No I’m still me! Still your daily dose of vitamin D babe c’mon. Just. Got...ears and shit. It’s not like I’m crawlin’ around or or got paws!” Hand was held up to prove his point, fingers curling and uncurling in a flex. Same old hand. Still nicked with old scars and marks from his years of stupidity on the street. 

[roboticpunk]

gcldandblxe:

Ah, that was okay. Bailey thought of that to be pretty sweet.

“Oh,” Bailey muttered, faltering as his idea was shot down. Supposed that made sense; why would Devon want to meet his customers? He’d only get poor, undeserved judgement from them, and neither Devon nor Bailey needed the punk getting the stink eye from people. Already got that enough going to the supermarket and walking down the street. Bailey didn’t get it; if they’d just say two words to Devon, they’d know he was an incredibly sweet, cuddly ray of sunshine! His Devon Heaven!

“I most certainly am not, but I’ll force myself to be for your sake, darling,” Bailey replied, swinging a fist without enthusiasm. Hey, he didn’t know what was coming here. Couldn’t be ready for something he didn’t know about.

And he most certainly wasn’t ready for the cat ears that popped out from underneath the beanie.

His jaw dropped at the sight of them, eyes bugging out of his head, before his attention was called to the tail that flicked out from behind his boyfriend, wagging gently in the air. Bailey’s jaw dropped lower and his eyes grew wider, the blue optics flicking back and forth between the ears and the tail. Then his hand was being guided to - Ooooh!

A large smile grew upon his face and he enthusiastically petted at the tail, marvelling at the soft fur beneath his fingers. “Oh, my! Somebody left you a present! Oh!” He took back his hand to make grabby fingers with both of them at Devon’s cat ears. “Let me try them on next! I want a turn, please!”

Now, wouldn’t that add a whole new level of adorable to Mr. Bailey Walter, huh?

His grin only grew as he watched his boyfriend react to the newest additions to..to well. Himself. Happiness surged as a gentle hand petted against the tail and in return the tail swung gently itself. The brown of the animal features matched his nature color. How or why? He didn’t know. Wasn’t going to question it. 

It was a present...wasn’t it? Of course he’d seen those headsets online. The ears that read your brain waves or some..some sciencey shit like that to move in response to your emotions. There was no way he’d ever be able to treat himself to such a thing without drowning in guilt and negatively impacting his budgets. Now it didn’t matter!

This was better than that anyway. 

“Oh..babe you can’t try ‘em on look!” He raised his hand once more to try and tug one of the ears off of his head, expression dropping at the action. The ears flicked back and flattened against his head whilst his tail bristled behind him. A wince made it’s way out of him before he shook his head. 

“They’re like. Fuckin’ real. Like. Attached to my head. I already tried tuggin’ at ‘em. It hurts like a biiitch.” Hand dropped and he shoved it into his vest pocket. “But! Look I’m like a fuckin’ super hero now!” 

If he ever had powers..this? This was pretty high up on the list. Whether it come from a freak accident or a mutation like Spiderman. Just. Cat..cat powers. Fuck he’d settle for just a cat inspired outfit and sick fighting moves. Pull some Iron Man shit. 

Of course if they were just a headband, he’d gladly allow the other to try ‘em on! His heart would probably explode at the sight of his boyfriend adorned in cat ears. Especially since the male was so into dogs. It was like. Playing for Devon’s team for a second. Not that Bailey didn’t love ALL animals. Just. Dogs had a special place in his heart--like cats for Devon. 

[roboticpunk]

gcldandblxe:

Bailey giggled at the quick thank you. How cute! Devon was so cute when he was so excited; Bailey didn’t get to see him like this very much. Sure, Devon was a passionate being, but being so happily excited like this? Didn’t happen often. Bailey rather liked it.

Bailey stayed still as Devon stepped closer to him, awaiting some sort of affection, a kiss or a hug, before he faltered and looked over his shoulder as Devon did. “Nope, just me,” the brunet replied, turning back to Devon with a smile. “You just missed the last couple of customers, if you wanted to meet them.”

Why Devon would, he didn’t know, but he sort of wished he’d been here to see them. A mother and her daughter, wanting to purchase a book with the little girl’s very own pocket money. It’d been an adorable sight to behold, watching the little girl pick a book from the Children’s Literature section and trot up to the desk and make the transaction with him, especially more so since she could barely see over the counter. At one point, she’d run out of coins and tried substituting with a button; he’d waved away the mother’s attempt at giving over real money and accepted the button as payment, then gave it back to the girl as her change.

Sort of made him think about the future, if he would ever have children himself. If he and Devon would ever…

He shook off the thought as Devon spoke once more, blinking in wonder. “Oh, my. Sounds nifty. You’d better show it to me quick, then, even if I won’t believe it.”

That..that’s fair. Devon didn’t often get excited about things save for his time spent with the bookshop owner, and even then he tried to play it off when he was around Bailey to keep his whole..tough guy persona around. 

And right now? Right now he was the toughest guy with a cat tail and ears around. Probably the only one but. That didn’t matter! What mattered was the fact that the shop was empty save for the two of them.

"Babe. No I didn’t want to meet your customers. I mean. Fuck I’m glad they came in but that’s not the thing right now!” Sure they were lovely people but Devon didn’t just talk to people. They got the wrong idea due to his fashions and aesthetics. Which. Was fucking stupid but whatever. Couldn’t stop people from stereotyping. 

“Alright..are you ready for this?” He tipped his head, waiting for a positive reply before his hand reached upwards and dragged the hood down first before fingers curled into the beanie and tugged it off to reveal the seemingly magic ears that had just appeared a top his head. 

“Look at that shit!” A wide grin crossed his face as he stuffed his beanie into his pocket before reaching around lifting the back of his vest a bit to let the tail free. The thing flicked before swaying in the empty space. “I fucking. Woke up. And BAM! They were there! I didn’t even notice until I pulled my pants on.” 

Even now the back of the fabric was riding lowered than usual, showing a little more of his skull patterned boxers than ever to keep from harming the feline tail. 

“It’s super soft fur too! Look! Feel it!” He excitedly reached for his boyfriend’s hand, taking it gently and guiding it to feel along his tail. 

[roboticpunk]

gcldandblxe:

Bailey had been shelving books when his shop’s door suddenly burst open, making him jump and yelp simultaneously. He quickly secured the books to his chest as he reacted to the scare, then he turned around on the stool he stood upon to look toward the source.

Devon Heaven!

He’d known the punk was off work today, so he’d been expecting an arrival, but not one so sudden. Ah, it was okay; Devon was here now. With how quickly he’d run in, Bailey’s first thought was that he was being chased and his eyes flicked over to the window to look for the chaser. When he saw nothing, his eyes went back to Devon and he realised Devon’s yelling was happy.

He had something to show him.

Bailey finished shelving the books and set a hand to the bookcase to steady himself as he stepped down from the stool, smiling as he came down. He set the stool aside, then brushed off his hands as he walked over to Devon. “I’m looking at it,” he said, staring at the beanie his boyfriend had secured over his hair. “I’ve never seen you wear a beanie, Devon Heaven. It’s a good look for you, I like it.” He tilted his head to the side, smiling cutely.

“Bailey!” 

The punk perked up as his boyfriend came closer, hands finally free of any books. He’d apologize for the startling entrance in a minute, certainly didn’t meant to make Bailey jump. Coulda made him fall and then Devon would really be stewing in a guilty pot. 

“What? You are?” 

Eyebrows arched at Bailey’s answer, eyes looking up towards his own head before he shook his head. “No no not the beanie! But thank you!” He didn’t wear them that often, as the risk of hat hair was too great when he spent so much time styling his hair properly. A note was made to remember that Bailey liked ‘em before he shook his head again. 

A careful glance was thrown around the shop before he stepped closer, away from the front of the shop so no passerby could possibly see.  “So I fuckin’ woke up--wait wait is anyone else here?” Blue eyes darted left and right before he leaned forward, straining his neck to see past the bookshelves blocking his view of more of the shop. 

Once satisfied he turned back to the brunet. “So I woke up this morning! And! And fuckin’ God! You won’t believe it babe you’re not gonna believe the shit I’m about to show you!” 

[roboticpunk]

@gcldandblxe

Getting dressed with his new appendages had been a bit challenging, but Devon had done his best to adapt, as not to draw too much attention to himself as he trekked to Bailey’s store. Tail had been tucked beneath his vest, up the back as best he could do while an oversized beanie secured his head alongside a hood from the shirt beneath his vest.  Of course the slender tail still twitched beneath the fabric, wanting to be free to sway and react appropriately. If anyone watched him, they’d likely think he had a snake or something hiding underneath the patch covered vest. 

It was a good thing he was off work today. His boss wouldn’t have allowed him to come in like this anyway. Might get him fired. Pft..bunch of buzz kills anyway. Wouldn’t appreciate his newfound gifts. Cat ears and a cat tail were probably the best fuckin’ thing one could wake up with out of the blue.

The familiar bookstore greeted him and he picked up his pace, all but running into the store and letting the bell twinkle to announce his arrival if his heavy footsteps didn’t already. 

“Bailey Bailey Bailey! Babe! You GOTTA see this!” 

[roboticpunk]

Meow (for Devon) for two days

Meow: My muse will grow cat-ears and a tail and develop cattish mannerisms for ___ (M!A choice)

He hadn’t noticed until he was getting dressed, which wasn’t that much of a surprise honestly. Devon had never been a morning person. Ever. In his life. His work uniform was halfway dragged on and he was wiggling into his pants when something warm and furry brushed across his wrist. 

Pulse jolted and he whirled around in confusion, eyes searching for whatever could be the cause. There weren’t any animals in his apartment last night! Several minutes of searching around had led to nothing and the punk was fairly certain he was going nuts. Until he sat down and landed on the tail itself. 

Limbs scrambled up and he whirled around, essentially chasing the furry appendage before rushing to the bathroom of his apartment. 

His reflection greeted him in the streaked glass and he stared in silent awe at the pair of brown ears poking out from the top of his head, nestled in the dyed locks of hair.

“Holy shit. Holy shit holy shiiiit!” 

[roboticpunk]

M!A list

Tiny: My muse will be shrunk so small, that he will fit into a hand for ___(M!A choice)

Meow: My muse will grow cat-ears and a tail and develop cattish mannerisms for ___ (M!A choice)

Hush: My muse will suddenly be mute and can not communicate verbally anymore for ___ (M!A choice)

Cling: My muse feels horrible pain, if they are physically seperated from ___ (muse of M!As choice) for ___ (M!A choice)

What: My muse will suddenly hear every word in unintelligeble gibberish and not understand a single word said to them for ___ (M!A choice)

Moan: My muse will suddenly have insatiable sexual urges that grow stronger, the longer they won't get any for ___ (M!A choice)

Name: Whenever my muse hears their name, they will be forced to follow the order that follows next, unable to fight it for ___ (M!A choice)

[gcldandblxe-blog]

📱 +Devon (To Baileeeey)

Send 📱 to see how my muse has yours in their phone!

Name: Devon Heaven ❤️ 💙 💜

Contact Picture:

Ringtone: This is also gaaaaay and also predictabllllee (also a volume warninggg)

Recent Texts:

[txt]: Well. I hope you’re happy with yourself[txt]: I told you to go gentle with me yesterday. Felt fragile :c Haven’t been able to walk right all day[txt]: Back hurts a bit too. Was a rough ride >:c[txt]: Fyi I pick what rollercoaster we go on next time we go to the fair, okay?[txt]: But thank you for buying me candy floss <3 It was delicious :3c