Inspired by the wonderful art by @scrapyardboyfriends: Champagne? Wow! That hotel has turned your head. From you Robron Valentine. Thank you for always creating the most wonderful art, you are invaluable to this fandom and we are so lucky to have you <3
Aaron doesn’t like champagne. He never has. It is bitter and too sparkly and he has never understood why people love it so much. He stares at the bottle in his hand and smiles wryly, before placing it in his bag along with some chocolate and other necessities.
Robert’s going to love this.
He has the whole thing planned out. Robert is going to come back from work Friday evening, tired and ranting about Jimmy never cleaning up after himself, and Aaron’s going to get him to shut up walk right back out of the door and to the car, which will be packed and ready to leave.
“But it’s not even Valentine’s Day, that’s next weekend!” Robert protests when Aaron marches him out of the door.
“Keys,” Aaron says, holding out a hand. Robert rolls his eyes, but he is smiling when he throws the keys to his new audi over the car. “I couldn’t do this on Valentine’s Day could I,” Aaron continues, “you always plan for a dinner at a fancy restaurant with at least three courses.”
Robert lets out a huff of laughter and gets in. “You’ve got other plans, do you?”
Aaron grins as he turns the car on and shifts into first gear. “I do, Mr. Dingle.”
The bag he packed also contains the keys to a small flat he has managed to snag for the weekend in Manchester. It is all he can do to contain his glee as Robert grows increasingly confused, scanning their surroundings as Aaron drives through the Yorkshire countryside.
“Aaron, are you kidnapping me for the weekend? If you do I need to call Vic and have her take Seb tomorrow,” Robert asks to force a reply.
“If you were being kidnapped you’d be in the boot,” Aaron says. “I’ve sorted it, so don’t worry.”
Robert presses his hands against his thighs and lets out a slow breath. “I’m not worried,” he says when a few seconds have passed.
“No?” Aaron asks, and when he looks over at his husband the late afternoon sun beautifully catches on his skin, making his smile glow.
“No,” Robert says. There’s a certainty to those words that sends a thrill down Aaron’s spine, even after years of marriage. “I’m not.”
Aaron drives on in silence, and Robert doesn’t say another word.
Robert’s eyebrows are quirked up as they pull into the parking lot close to the centre of town. Aaron pays for a 48h ticket and that has Robert smiling, eyes shining.
“What’ve you got planned?” he finally asks as they walk down the street.
Aaron bites his lower lip. “You’re so impatient.”
“I’m not,” Robert counters. He’s carrying his bag over his shoulder, knuckles whitening on the handle.
“You hate not being in control.”
“We both know that’s not exactly true,” Robert says, and it is laced with heat. Aaron can remember countless times where Robert has lost control, giving in to Aaron’s touch.
“Fine,” Aaron concedes. “We’re almost there.”
Robert laces his hand with Aaron’s as they walk.
“You’ve rented this place?” Robert asks. Aaron nods. They have settled in, placing their bags in the bedroom, and Aaron managed to pop the bottle in the fridge in the brief time it took Robert to go to the bathroom.
The flat is beautiful; all designer furniture and clean lines. The windows are wide, showing the view of Manchester; blocks of cement interspersed with Gothic spires, or at least that was what Robert said last time they were here.
“Where did you find it?”
Aaron shrugs. “I’ve got my ways.”
Robert barks out a laugh, wraps his arms around Aaron from behind and kisses him in the spot under his ear. Aaron can’t help but lean into it, place his hands on top of Robert’s, holding him closer.
“One of our business partners was so happy about our last deal that he said he owed me one,” Aaron admits.
“Ah,” Robert hums, lips still against Aaron’s skin. “So, since this is your plan, what’s next?”
Aaron turns in Robert’s arms and kisses him, softly at first but it soon grows hungry, desperate, a dance they are both all too familiar with to not know where it is going. Robert tugs at Aaron’s jumper, fingers slipping under the hem of Aaron’s shirt to graze the skin of his stomach, grabbing his arse and pulling him closer.
“I’m guessing you packed for this too?” Robert whispers as Aaron kisses him down his throat.
Aaron grins at him, and pushes him towards the bed. It isn’t long before all clothes are shed and both of them are panting against each other’s skin. Definitely how Aaron planned to start off the weekend.
Afterwards, when the sweat has cooled and they are lying under the duvet, arms wrapped around one another, Aaron remembers why he brought the champagne. Robert is already languid, limbs heavy and head pressed into the crook of Aaron’s neck; they are wrapped around each other completely, bodies intertwined and deliciously relaxed. If anything will make Robert relax even more, it is a glass of bubbles.
Robert protests as he shuffles out of the bed, but stops when Aaron walks naked out to the kitchen.
He walks back in a few minutes later, bottle in one hand and two glasses in the other. Of course a place like this has champagne glasses on display in the cupboard.
“Is that -” Robert starts.
“It is.”
Robert sits up, a grin spreading over his face.
“But you hate champagne!”
Aaron smiles. “You don’t, though.”
Aaron shuffles under the duvet again, pulling it up so it covers his legs and lower stomach. Robert moves closer immediately, pressing a quick kiss to his shoulder.
“You want to?” Aaron asks.
The ensuing grin makes all the trouble planning this thing worth it.
He takes a glass for Robert and deftly pours a respectable amount into it while Robert rests his head against Aaron’s shoulder, before he gets a glass for himself and does the same. Their glasses make a satisfying ‘clink’ as they raise them to their health and then, a sip. It is just as Aaron remembers it; despite everything he has been told about it, Aaron doesn’t like champagne. He takes a sip, containing his dislike as best he can but Robert starts laughing.
“You don’t have to drink it,” Robert says. “You know that.”
“We’re sharing,” Aaron says. “Plus, if you get a whole bottle you won’t be awake in an hour.”
Robert nuzzles closer, and Aaron lets him. “What’ve you got planned in an hour?”
Aaron grins. “Sushi… then sex, if you want.”
“I thought you hated sushi,” Robert says, eyebrows rising.
“There may or may not be some alternatives in there as well,” Aaron says. “But…”
“I love sushi?”
Aaron leans forward, pressing a deep kiss to Robert’s lips.
Champagne might not taste good, but the taste of it on Robert’s tongue has him desperate for more. It isn’t long before the glasses are placed on the bedside tables, and Aaron’s mouth is wrapped around Robert.
Aaron wakes before Robert does; he hasn’t done that in a while. Robert’s face is peaceful, his jaw slack and his hair tousled from the second and third rounds last night. It warms his heart to see Robert so relaxed and peaceful, especially after a stressful few weeks where Aaron has barely seen him outside of tea and bed.
Today he can’t stay in though, can’t wrap his arms around his husband and wait for him to wake up. Aaron has plans that are too important. moves the arm Robert has wrapped around his chest and quickly hops into some clothes, leaving the flat. The sound of the door slamming shut 20 minutes later must be what wakes Robert up, as Aaron hears a hoarse ‘Aaron?’ ringing through the flat.
“I’ve just got back,” Aaron says.
“Where’ve you been?” Robert asks as Aaron walks into the bedroom, groceries still in hand.
“Making a fry-up.”
Robert falls back into bed, a hand over his eyes.
“You really are treating me,” Robert says a few minutes later as he walks into the kitchen in nothing but his boxers. It is quite the sight to behold, even after all this time together.
Aaron shrugs. “I really love you, you know that?”
“Yeah, I know.”
Their eyes meet, and Aaron has never known something so fundamentally as the love that floods his chest for this man, the gorgeous mess of a man in front of him. Robert smiles, eyes more wrinkled than they were a few years ago, and Aaron shares it with him until it engulfs them both.
“Coffee?” Robert asks.
“You make the coffee, I’ll make the food.”
They move around each other seamlessly despite the new surroundings, years of routine kicking in.
While the sausages are cooking, Robert wraps his arms around Aaron, pulling him closer, bare chest pressed to Aaron’s back, hips pressed to Aaron’s.
“I’m cooking here,” Aaron says and makes a move to worm his way out of Robert’s grip.
“I’m not bothering you,” Robert counters, holding on.
“You’re an idiot.”
“Shut up,” Robert says into Aaron’s shoulder.
By the time they get back to the village, the strain in Robert’s shoulder has gone, and he has a light in his eyes that fills his face with happiness.
“Thank you,” he says, leaning forward to press his lips to Aaron’s. They’re warm, soft, and Aaron presses close across the gear stick.
“You’re welcome,” Aaron says.
“Right, you unpack and I’ll sort some tea?”
Aaron smiles, leaning in again to nip at Robert’s lower lip and the kiss turns heated in seconds.
“Or… we can chuck the bags on the sofa and go upstairs?”
Robert grins.
“You are terrible,” he says. Aaron’s grins.
“You can bring up another bottle, if you want.”
Robert rolls his eyes. “You like it now?”
Aaron shrugs. “Maybe I’m learning.”
Maybe it is the dopey grin Robert gets after a glass or two.
It doesn’t matter. All that matters is Robert’s lips on his, the bottle forgotten as they lose themselves in each other.
AU where Sarah is alive for their wedding
For @sugdenlovesdingle
“Don’t forget my mum is dropping by for Seb so we can go and look at wedding cakes,” Robert says as he enters the kitchen, dropping a kiss down onto the top of Seb’s head and then Aaron’s.
“Should’ve come ‘round early so she could feed this little monster,” Aaron jokes and Seb dodges his spoonful of food. “You sure Vic won’t mind us going to someone?”
“She said she was fine with it. I think she’s happy enough just making the food.”
Aaron hums in response and attempts to sneak the spoon into Seb’s mouth again, but the little boy slaps it away and knocks the mush onto the table. “He’s impossible this morning.”
“Takes after daddy Aaron, doesn’t he?” Robert grins. “Meet you in front of the pub after my meeting?”
“If I can get this guy cleaned up in time to drop him off with Sarah, yeah.”
Robert leans in for one more kiss, gently rubbing the back of Seb’s head fondly before he goes. Aaron watches his backside for a moment before turning back to Seb.
“All right, mate. We’ll finish this off and then get you all packed up, yeah?”
—
“The handoff with mum go all right?” Robert greets him with a smile, pushing himself off of the picnic table as Aaron approaches.
“Yeah he was thrilled to see his nana Sarah. Might have a fight on our hands when we pick him up later, though.”
“She could just keep him the night. Get some proper nana time in,” Robert muses, thinking about all the ways they could use their free time with Seb at Sarah’s and Liv at Gabby’s for the night. “You didn’t have to dress up for a cake tasting. Where’d you even get that shirt and jacket?”
Aaron snorts, tugging at the lapels of his jacket. “Your wardrobe.”
—
“Leaving Seb with mum for the night was a good idea,” Robert says, sighing happily as he sinks down onto the couch, pulling the bottom of his robe over the tops of his legs. “She really seemed okay with it?”
“Told me we deserved the night off,” Aaron replied with a yawn, snuggling closer to Robert. “She won’t be so thrilled when he’s crying the house down.”
“It’ll be nice to have a night to ourselves.” Robert says with a nod, letting the silence surround them for a moment. With Seb the quiet moments were few and far between. “Still miss him though.”
—
The wedding arrives before they know it and Sarah’s clinking her glass in the pub for her toast. The weather had stayed nice long enough for them to have the wedding outdoors, surrounded by all of their loved ones. Aaron had been proud to have their sisters at their side, but the way Robert looked walking down the aisle with Sarah on his arm made both of them more emotional than anything else. “I’m so proud of you, both of you. I wasn’t sure about you and a Dingle at first, but you’ve fought through so much to end up here. You’re meant to be with each other, and I think we all saw that today.”
Robert squeezes Aaron’s hand, smiles at him warmly when their eyes meet.
“Just the way that you’re looking at each other now,” Sarah trails off when her voice cracks, but she’s smiling through her tears despite it all. “Thank you for letting us watch the vows this time.”
Robert gets up to hug her, Aaron close behind with a hug of his own. She squeezes them both equally as hard, but she holds onto Aaron longer.
“Take care of my boy,” she whispers to him before letting go; the look in her eyes is soft and warm. With their son and family by their side, Aaron couldn’t have imagined a better day.
—
“Your mum wasn’t too pushy tonight was she?” Aaron asks. He knew Seb’s second birthday would be a lot with both the Sugdens and the Dingles being there, but it had been a lot more than either of them had anticipated. “I didn’t want to stick my nose in.”
“It didn’t put me off. We can have a whole football team, if you like. The sooner the better, actually,” he responds with a lazy smile.
“I don’t think it works like that,” Aaron points out, moving closer to Robert on the couch so their heads are touching. “Upstairs?”
“Later,” Robert says, feeling happy and content with just Aaron’s warmth against his side. “This is nice, too.”
“Nana! We’re getting a dog!” Seb announced as he ran into Sarah’s house, followed by his father.
“I said maybe.” Robert sighed. “And that we’ll talk about it again nearer to your birthday.”
“We’re getting a dog.” Seb grinned. “We’ll have two dogs.”
“Two?” Sarah asked. “Did you promise him two dogs?” she looked at Robert.
“I didn’t promise him anything. He just- ”
“Dad’s boyfriend has a dog. A really big one but he’s really friendly. So when he comes to live with us, he can bring his dog and we’ll have two dogs.” Seb interrupted.
Sarah frowned.
“I think I missed a few steps here….”
“Yeah so have I.” Robert turned to Seb. “You know Aaron and I haven’t been seeing each other that long yet, right? Him possibly moving in with us is a long, long way away.”
“But you love him don’t you? People in love get married and live together, right? Just like aunt Vic and uncle Ellis. So why don’t you want him to live with us?”
“I uh… well… uh.. I… it’s uh..”
“Why don’t you go watch some tv in the living room, sweetheart?” Sarah suggested. “Let me have a chat with your dad. Go on, off you go.”
Seb pouted but did as he was told.
“So, care to fill me in on what I’ve missed?” Sarah said when the boy was out of earshot.
“We ran into Aaron in town earlier.” Robert told her. “The good news is that Seb likes him, maybe as much as I do.” A small smile formed on his face. “And I think Aaron liked him too.”
Sarah nodded.
“That’s good, isn’t it?”
“Yeah. Yeah it is. I mean… I’d wanted them to meet properly sometime, not in the middle of the high street between HMV and McDonalds… but I suppose this takes the pressure off of everything.”
“So how does the dog talk fit into all of this?”
“You know he’s been asking for a dog for ages.” Robert started. “And Aaron has a German Shepherd named Clyde. That he had with him when we saw him in town. And Seb fell in love with him. He barely noticed Aaron after he told him he could pet Clyde.”
“Well that’s one less thing to worry about then, isn’t it?”
“Yeah… but now he’s convinced Aaron will move in with us soon and bring Clyde with him. We’ve only been seeing each other for about 6 months!” Robert ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “I haven’t even told him I love him yet…”
“But you do?” Sarah asked and Robert bit his lip to stop himself from smiling and nodded slightly.
“I’m just hoping he says it back.”
Sarah smiled.
“I’m sure he will.”
“I want to tell him on Valentines. Make it special so he’ll always remember it.” Robert said and gave his mother a nervous smile.
“I’m sure he’ll always remember it no matter what, love. I still remember the first time your dad told me he loved me.”
“Still… I booked a table for us at that new restaurant that opened near the park. It’s supposed to be really romantic.”
“I’ve heard of it.” Sarah said. “Paul wanted to take me there for valentines day too.”
Robert’s face fell.
“You have plans on Valentines?”
Sarah shook her head.
“Had. His schedule changed. He has to work.”
“So you’re free to pick Seb up from school on Friday? And have him over for a sleepover?” Robert asked hopeful.
“Of course. You know I love having him over.”
“Seb, come here for a sec.” Robert called out and Seb came wandering back into the kitchen. “Are you ok with having a sleepover at nana’s next weekend?”
Seb took a minute to consider his dad’s offer.
“Can we have chips for tea?”
“I think we can arrange that.” Sarah promised. “Maybe I’ll even throw in some ice cream too.”
“Chocolate?”
“Obviously.”
—
The next few days Robert felt like a teenager waiting for a date with his first crush. He and Aaron were texting constantly and the pics he’d sent Robert of himself in a suit definitely made him a little (or a lot) hot under the collar.
And other than the one picture of Clyde Seb had asked for, none of them would ever see the light of day as far as Robert was concerned.
It was Wednesday when disaster struck. Robert had just sat down in a pub near his work, joining Aaron for a lunch date, when his phone rang.
“It’s Seb’s school. I have to take this.” He said apologetically.
“Of course. Don’t worry, it’s fine. I can wait.” Aaron replied, taking a sip of his drink as he watched Robert walk away.
“Hello?” Robert answered his phone.
“Hi, is this Robert Sugden? Sebastian’s father?” a female voice said.
“Yes, that’s me. Is everything alright?”
“I’m afraid not. Sebastian has a temperature and keeps complaining of nausea. We think it’s best if he goes home.”
“What? When did that happen? He was fine this morning.”
“I don’t know… I’m just passing on the message.” The woman told him. “Are you able to come pick him up? Or send someone else to?”
“No, no, I’ll come get him myself. Tell him I’ll be there in half an hour.”
“Alright, drive safely sir.” The woman said and Robert rolled his eyes at her as he ended the call. He walked back to his and Aaron’s table and the look on his face probably told Aaron all he needed to know.
“Bad news?” he asked and Robert nodded.
“I have to go… I’m sorry. Seb got sick at school and I have to go pick him up. I’m so sorry.”
“What? No don’t apologise. Is he alright?”
“I don’t know… they said he has a temperature… but he was fine this morning when I dropped him off.”
“Kids are like that.” Aaron shrugged. “Fine one minute, sick as a dog the next.” He got up from the table. “Go get him and take him home. Tell him to get well soon from me and Clyde.”
Robert gave him a soft smile and kissed him.
“You’re amazing, you know that?”
Aaron grinned.
“I try. Now go. Don’t keep him waiting when he’s already feeling sick.”
“Alright, I’m going, I’m going. And just… I’m sorry for cutting our date short… I’ll make it up to you on Friday. I promise.”
“Good. I didn’t get my good suit from my mum’s for nothing.” Aaron teased and all but pushed Robert out the door and to his car. “See you Friday.” he said and closed the car door after stealing another quick kiss.
Robert drove to Seb’s school in record time and was met with a sick and miserable little boy. He took him home and let him get his duvet and pillow from his bed and watch tv from the sofa the rest of the day.
Seb fell asleep at some point in the afternoon and didn’t wake up until Robert woke him up to make him eat something. He put him to bed early and spent the rest of the night watching shit telly while texting Aaron.
By Thursday Seb’s temperature had gone down but he was still feeling miserable so Robert decided to keep him home from school and work from home himself.
They’d both had a pyjama day and even though the theme tune of Seb’s favourite show was driving Robert insane by 3PM, he enjoyed spending the day with his son like this.
And it had nothing to do with the fact he was feeling a bit worse for wear himself.
Friday morning Robert woke up aching all over. He quickly decided to go back to sleep for a few hours and let work deal with itself for the day. When he rolled over to let his boss know he wasn’t coming in, he noticed Seb had crawled into bed with him and was still fast asleep. he smiled to himself and kissed the top of his head, happy his temperature had seemed to have returned to normal.
He got comfortable and closed his eyes again, drifting back off to sleep within minutes.
The next time he woke up the sun was shining in his eyes and Seb was tugging on his arm.
“Dad… wake up. I’m hungry.”
Robert sat up and rubbed his face to clear the fog from his mind.
“Right… yeah… I’ll uh… be right there.”
“Will you make pancakes?” Seb tried and Robert’s stomach protested heavily from the thought alone.
“Not today. Ask nana to make some tomorrow.”
“Fine.” Seb sighed and left the room
Robert shivered as he threw the covers off of himself and stumbled into the bathroom. He figured Seb must’ve turned on the heating himself because the place was like an oven.
He dug through the medicine cabinet and let out a triumphant “Yes!” when he found a forgotten packet of paracetamol and knocked two back right away.
He went downstairs and made a vitamin bomb breakfast for himself and Seb. Fresh fruit, orange juice, and no chocolate spread on toast.
Seb wasn’t very happy with his dad’s choice of breakfast and was in the middle of telling him exactly how wrong it all was when Robert’s phone rang.
Robert checked the screen and smiled. Aaron.
“Hey you.”
“Hey. I texted you but you didn’t reply and I was getting worried. Is everything ok?”
“Uh yeah… We slept in.”
“Oh is Seb still sick? We can postpone tonight if you have to stay with him.” Aaron offered.
“No, no it’s ok. He’s better but I just kept him home from school one more day. To be sure. But I’m dropping him off at my mum’s tonight and then I’ll meet you at the restaurant, ok?”
“Sure.” Aaron agreed. “There is one slight problem though.”
Robert frowned.
“Problem? What problem? Have you changed your mind?”
“You never told me where we were going.” Aaron said and laughed.
“Oh!” Robert felt his cheeks flush. “Sorry, I forgot about that. I’ll text you the address.”
“Alright. I have to go now, some prat in an Audi ran out of petrol in the middle of nowhere and needs saving.”
Robert chuckled.
“Be nice to him. He might be a stressed out prat who thought he could still make it home after he forgot to fill up his car.”
“And then offer to buy me a drink for helping him out? And kiss me while I try to get his car down from the truck?” Aaron asked, amused.
“Maybe not exactly like that.” Robert replied, thinking back to their first meeting and how he hadn’t been able to stop himself from kissing the cute mechanic.
“No you’re right. That was a once in lifetime experience.” Aaron joked. “I really have to go now, don’t forget to text me the address.”
“I won’t. I booked the table for 8. See you there?”
“I’ll be the one in a suit.” Aaron said and they ended the call.
Robert had to bite his tongue not to slip up and say goodbye with a ‘love you’.
As the day went on Robert started feeling less like he’d been run over by an 18 wheeler truck, and more like he was actually dying. He was pretty sure he had a fever and his throat felt like sandpaper, but he’d be damned if he was going to cancel on Aaron.
He knocked two more paracetamols back and a few vitamin pills he always tried to get Seb to take and jumped in the shower, hoping that would make him feel better.
The steam and hot water did clear his head a little but as soon as he stepped out of the shower, he was shivering again.
“I’ll be fine once the pills kick in.” he muttered to himself as he looked through his wardrobe to find the outfit he’d planned to wear.
Around 7.30 he dropped Seb off at Sarah’s house with his overnight bag.
“Are you feeling alright, love?” Sarah asked, after taking one look at her son.
“I’m fine.” Robert replied, ducking away from her hand as she tried to feel his forehead. “Just a bit of a cold. No big deal.”
Sarah gave him a look that said she didn’t believe a word he was saying.
“Mum, I’m fine. I have to go. Parking is a nightmare in town and I don’t want to keep Aaron waiting.” Robert said and turned to Seb. “Be good for your nan, ok? I’ll pick you up tomorrow.” He bent down and kissed the top of Seb’s head who squirmed away from him.
“Eww, you’re all sweaty.”
“That’s from chasing after you all day, trouble.” Robert teased and left.
When he got to the restaurant, Aaron wasn’t there yet and the waiter led him to their table and took his drinks order.
“Just some ice water please. I have to keep a clear head, I’m driving.”
He people watched for a few minutes until the waiter returned with his water. The place was packed and by the looks of things, only with couples.
He took a sip of his drink and tried to discretely hold the ice cold glass against his heated face. He swore he heard hissing when it touched his cheek and closed his eyes to fully take in the relief.
“Hey, sorry I’m late. I took a taxi but I don’t think the guy had ever driven in this city before. He got lost and I had to show him the way.” Robert heard a familiar voice say a moment later and when he opened his eyes he saw Aaron, looking as gorgeous as ever in his suit.
“It’s ok. I just got here myself.” Robert told him and got up to greet him with a kiss.
“Are you alright?” Aaron asked after they broke the kiss. “You’re a little clammy and flushed.” He put a hand on Robert’s cheek. “And hot.”
Robert grinned.
“Yeah I know I am. You’re not so bad yourself.”
Aaron rolled his eyes good naturedly.
“You know what I mean.”
“I’m fine.” Robert insisted for yet another time that evening. “I think I caught Seb’s bug. But it’s just a bit of a cold. I took some paracetamol earlier, I’ll be fine.”
“You don’t look it…”
“Well I am. Come on, let’s just order.”
Aaron reluctantly sat down and ordered a coke.
“Don’t you want to have a drink?” Robert asked after the waiter had gone again. “I can drive.”
“With the state you’re in, I better not in case I have to drive you to A&E.”
“It’s just a cold. I’m fine.”
The waiter came back with Aaron’s drink and handed them both a menu. A menu Robert tried to subtly fan himself with.
“It’s warm here isn’t it?” He tried. “All of these people in here.”
“I don’t think it’s that warm.” Aaron replied and raised an eyebrow.
“Oh… guess it’s just me then.”
“Yeah. Must be.”
They sat in silence for a few minutes and Robert could practically feel Aaron’s eyes on him as he pretended to study the menu.
“Have you made your choice yet?” another waiter asked as he walked up to the table.
“Uh yeah I’ll have the… - “
“I’m sorry, my date is sick, we’re leaving. Can you just give me the bill for the drinks please?” Aaron interrupted.
“No, I’m fine. We’re not leaving and we’d like to order.” Robert insisted.
“Don’t be a prat Robert. You’re sick, I’m taking you home.”
The waiter looked back and forth between the two men.
“Uh…”
“Here. This should be enough.” Aaron shoved a 20 pound note in the waiter’s hand. “Keep the change.”
“Right… uh… thank you… Feel better.” He said to Robert as Aaron all but dragged him out the door and confiscated his car keys.
“Where are you parked?” He asked in a tone of voice Robert would find incredibly sexy if he wasn’t feeling so terrible.
“Round the corner… by the bank.”
Aaron drove them to Robert’s house and pushed him inside and ordered him to change into his pyjamas.
“I’ll make us something to eat. Do you have any soup?”
“Uh yeah the tinned stuff. It’s all Seb will eat when he’s sick.”
“Good. That’s about as far as my cooking skills go.” Aaron said laughingly. “Now go change, I’ll cook.”
Robert nodded and reluctantly went upstairs to change. Though the second he loosened his tie and took off his jacket he felt relieved. He looked longingly at his bed but decided against getting in.
He changed into an old jumper and joggers and went back downstairs.
Where he heard Aaron swearing and the clattering of cutlery.
“Fuck! Your microwave and toaster are conspiring against me.” He cradled his hand against his chest.
Robert smiled and sat down at the table.
“It’s ok. I’m not hungry anyway.”
“No, you have to eat. I’m cooking. You go get comfortable on the sofa and switch on the tv. Do you have a serving tray?” Aaron looked around the kitchen and started opening cabinets.
“Uh… yeah… my mum gave me one when I moved in… 5 years ago…” Robert said, resisting the urge to rest his face on the cool table top.
“I’ll find it.” Aaron insisted. “Go get comfortable. I’ll be right there with the food.”
“Alright… but please don’t burn the kitchen down… I’m not sure the insurance will cover fires started yourself.”
“Oh he’s got jokes again. You’re not sick at all.” Aaron teased. “Go on get out of my kitchen.”
“Your kitchen?”
“Tonight it is. Now go, get out.”
Robert did as he was told and moved to the sofa. Somehow Aaron’s presence made him feel better. Or maybe the paracetamol were finally starting to do their job. He leaned back on the sofa and closed his eyes.
“Just for a minute.” He told himself.
Only a minute apparently turned into several minutes. Or hours.
When he woke up again, Aaron was sitting next to him on the sofa, wearing one of his t-shirts and trackies and watching tv, a blanket draped over them both.
“I fell asleep?”
Aaron looked up from the tv and smiled at him.
“Hey. Yeah. Feel better? You’ve been out for over two hours.”
Robert sat up a little.
“Two hours? You should have woken me up.”
“You looked so peaceful. I couldn’t. You needed rest.” Aaron told him. “Are you feeling better now?”
“Uh… yeah… I suppose so… but I feel bad for falling asleep on you. Some Valentine’s day this is.”
Aaron shook his head and leaned over to kiss him.
“Don’t.” Robert pulled back at the last second. “You’ll get sick too.”
“I think we’re past that already. I’ve been sitting next to you all night.” Aaron reasoned. “You can just be my nurse when I get sick.” He said and pressed a kiss to Robert’s lips anyway.
“I’m sorry…”
“For what? Getting me sick?”
“That too…” Robert sighed. “But also for ruining Valentine’s day. I wanted tonight to be special and I ruined it.”
“You didn’t ruin anything.”
“Yes I did. I wanted tonight to be special…” Robert started again. “I wanted it to be special and tell you I love you. I wanted you to always remember it.” He blurted out and the smile on Aaron’s face got impossibly bigger.
“I love you too.” He kissed Robert again and brushed the slightly sweaty hair from his forehead. “And I promise you, I’ll never forget this night.”
“I just… I had it all planned…” Robert admitted. “I wanted it to be special…” He said again.
“Just being with you is special enough. I really don’t need big romantic gestures…” Aaron told him. “Save that for the proposal.”
May you spend today celebrating the best love story of all time! I heard you first fell in love with them in this moment, and I hope it makes you happy.
This is for you @howellobrien. There’s nothing better than reunion 3.0 on Valentines Day! Wishing you lots of love 💜
To say seeing Robert back in the village was a shock is an understatement. Aaron didn’t know how to react and what to say. He thought he was at peace from from what had happened and was past it. He wasn’t … there were still residues of anger and pain. Words were shouted and tears were shed. And throughout it all, Robert had remained silent.
The few other times they saw each other after that were strained. Robert distanced himself from Aaron and retreated into his own shell, his self worth at an all time low. Robert thought that Aaron would never forgive him. To be hated, unloved and end up alone? It’s what he deserved after what he put Aaron through.
But Aaron couldn’t ignore that there was something else. Love. An undying love that was always there that had never gone away. There’s no denying it, they were always meant to be. You can’t fight destiny. Aaron knew Robert felt the same despite Robert avoiding him.
Aaron tried numerous time to get closer to Robert so they could at least have a proper talk but to no avail. After a few weeks, Aaron had had enough of being ghosted. He thought back to the time he marched from the garage to Vic’s home almost 10 years ago. He immediately knew that he had to do the same again. He wasn’t going to let this go without a fight. After all it had worked the last time.
Knocking on the front door of Keepers Cottage, Aaron was more determined than he was all those years ago. The door opened and the man he loved stood in front of him. “Robert … “
Note: Jimin looks and sound literally like an angel in the original trailer music video. Watch it here and fall in love just like I did.
All this is no coincidence
Just, just, by my feeling
The whole world is different from yesterday
Just, just, with your joy
When you called me
I became your flower
As if we were waiting
We bloom until we ache
Maybe it’s the providence of the universe
That’s how it is
You know, I know
You are me, I am you
I’m scared, just as much as my heart flutters
Because destiny keeps getting jealous of us
I’m just as scared as much as you are
When you see me
When you touch me
The universe has moved for us
Without missing a single thing
Because our happiness has been planned
Cause you love me, and I love you
[Pre-Chorus]
You’re my penicillin
Saving me
My angel, my world
I’m your Calico cat
Here to see you
Love me now, touch me now
[Chorus]
Just let me love you (let me love, let me love you) (x2)
Since the creation of the universe
Everything was destined
Just let me love you (let me love, let me love you)
Now come to me
Come and let’s become a “we”
I don’t wanna let go, no
Just trust yourself
You can feel it even if you don’t say it
The stars are in the sky
We are flying
This isn’t a dream
Don’t be nervous, hold my hand
Now we’re becoming a “we”
Let me love you
When Chas was 14 going on 15 she gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, named Aaron. His biological father was much older and wanted nothing to do with the baby. Her brother Cain, who had a baby girl the previous year with their cousin had a plan. Their parents were no good, one was an abusive drunk, the other kept abandoning them. He and Charity would gather them some money and they would go to Emmerdale village. That was where their uncle lived. Hopefully, they can build their lives and have a fresh start there.
Aaron was a month old when they moved to Emmerdale. Cain who had just turned 18 was legally in charge of all of them with the help of uncle Zac, so that social would not take Chas, Charity, Aaron, and Debbie away. Cain gave Chas 5 grand to use for her and Aaron, with another 5 for the future. Cain used his money to buy into the garage. Charity conned a rich man so that she could get the three of them somewhere to live.
Chas worked at the pub, she greatly impressed the pub landlady. When Aaron was 2 years old she let them move into the pub permanently. She was a nice elderly lady that did not have a family of her own. Chas began to take over more of the day to day responsibilities of running the pub. She also bought a share of the pub to ensure that she and her baby boy would always have a place to stay. Chas’s number one priority was always her son. When she was not working she was spending her time with him. She did date at times but most people wanted her for her body and not much else.
When Aaron was 6 years old a nice vet moved to the town named Paddy. He loved Aaron and took him in as if he was his own. He got Aaron a dog named Clive that Aaron could look after. She liked that Paddy did not have an issue that she had a child and that he was more interested in her as a person. A platonic relationship formed between them. They did not date until Aaron was 10.
When Aaron was 6 Chas got a phone call from the police. Aaron’s horrible biological father had murdered his ex who was 8 months pregnant with a baby girl. She luckily was able to call the police before he shot her. The police shot and killed him on sight. She was still alive when the paramedics took her to hospital, but they couldn’t save her. They did emergency surgery to get the baby out, and she was mostly fine. Social services found that her only living relative was Aaron. Gordon also had half a million pounds that would be divided equally between them. Charity took her in and raised her as if she was her own. Aaron picked the name Liv for her and that was what they called her. She would make sure that no one would ever harm her children.
That same year Aaron also met his best friend Victoria. She was part of the Sugden family. Her family owned some land and a couple of the farms in the village. She had an older brother that would sometimes hang out with them. He was nine and Aaron thought he was cool.
When Aaron was ten his parents got together properly and that made him happy. A new family moved into one of the farms. And he made new friends, Holly, Adam, and Hanna. Hanna told them that he was a boy and wanted to be called Matty. He loved spending time with them on the farm. Vic’s parents also got divorced and he saw her less. Robert was around even less and Aaron did not like that he wasn’t around as much. He was the cool older brother like Holly was the cool older sister. Aaron also loved that he had his cousin that was a year older than him. He had a nice group of friends to play with and his dog. He also had the best mum who would do anything for him. His little baby sister was always trying to follow him around.
When Aaron was twelve the pub landlady died and she left it all to his mum. This was good as she was pregnant. Aaron was excited to have another sibling. Vic now spent the school year with them and was in the village her mum lived in when there was no school. Robert did not come over at all, and his dad acted like he never existed. His mum gave birth to a baby that died the same day she was born.
When Aaron was fourteen he was discovering his sexuality. He tried kissing Holly but it did nothing to him. He also thought guys were better looking than girls. Adam’s cousin came over and he kissed Aaron. While Aaron didn’t like him he did like the feeling of kissing a guy. The only people he told about this were Vic and Adam. He would tell his mum and dad soon. His mum was pregnant again and Aaron wanted the baby to be healthy. Liv was also recently diagnosed with epilepsy, the doctors figured out what the damage that was caused when she was born was. He can tell them later it’s not like he wants to date. When Aaron did tell them it was no big deal. They had Matty who was trans, and CHarity and Debbie were both bi. Aaron successfully finished his GCSEs, he loved working with his uncle in his garage so he decided he would go to 6 form and try to study automotive engineering at uni.
When Sarah was 40 years old she started her life over. She was divorced and she found a new passion. She decided to enter the great British bake off and somehow out of nowhere she won the competition. She met a confectioner Rishi who she started a cakery/confectionary with. The village she lived in was in North Yorkshire and was not far from Emmerdale. She still saw her children all the time. A year later Robert came to her in the middle of the night. She fought him for sole custody of Robert and Vic was still living part-time. Had he laid a hand on him she would have taken both but he only kicked him out for his sexuality and that made it harder to get her full time. She had her most of the weeks and the summer. Because the school was close to where they lived she was still in the same school. She would spend time with them in Emmerdale her friends never came over to visit. Her beautiful son found a life long friend in Priya and knew that they would be best friends forever. They were able to help each other with their struggles and overcome them together.
When Sara was 46 she moved back to Emmerdale VIllage with her son. Jack had died and Vic wanted to live where her friends were. Robert was in uni studying business. He only came home on weekends or when he needed something. He told her honestly that he had no bad memories of the village. Hopefully, the village will bring them good memories.
Summer 2015
It was the summer before Aaron was due to start 6 form. His best friend Vic was moving back to the village full time. Her mum and older brother were moving back as well. Aaron remembered a little of Vic’s brother. Mostly that he had not come back to visit since they were 12. He was so excited to see her. It was nice to have all of his friends and family close together.
When Aaron saw Vic he ran up to her and hugged her tightly. He saw Robert come up to them. He walked confidently toward them and held his hand out, he had a confident smirk on.
“I’m Robert, I don’t know if you remember me. It is nice to be back here. Beautiful place.” Robert said in a confident and cocky tone. Aaron hated him. He was one of those people who knew how good looking he was and just acted smug. Aaron scowled at him. Robert lowered his hand and started rubbing the back of his neck nervously. Vic and he went to the pub to go see the others.
Aaron was sitting at the pub with Vic and their group of friends. When suddenly Robert walked in. Everyone looked at him and were interested in this Sugden boy who is back for the first time in four years. He also had a beautiful woman who he walked in with. A bunch of Debbie’s friends were interested in him. Wow, he has the whole village wrapped around his finger. He has a girlfriend and he is still going around and trying it on with everyone. Although Aaron didn’t have that much bad luck with guys. He had his first boyfriend Jackson who helped him out when he first came out. The two of them realized that they were interested in different things and split up amicably. A few others have asked him out. There was Ed, a star rugby player, and Alex, a first-year med student. Aaron was happy that he had his options. Maybe he should text Ed so that they could go out tomorrow night. Aaron decides to go back to the conversation.
“Vic how’s it being back here full time?” Adam asked.
“It’s great being back. Although it looks like Holly, Debbie and their friends are all very into Robert. It’s like he is new blood here, even though our family has been here for generations. But hey I want him to be happy here. Hopefully mum will be as well. And spending all my time with my fave person.” She said as she leaned her head on Aaron’s shoulder.
“Well good luck with Holly there, She is used to getting what she wants,” Adam said, mocking his sister.
Robert and the girl came by and sat with them. Robert said he wanted to get to know Vic’s friends.
Aaron stayed quiet and maintained the frown. Robert was smiling this friendly but confident smirk and he was not amused.
“Aaron.” He finally said.
“Aaron all grown up. I remember when you and Vic used to get into trouble running around. Well it looks like you grew up well.” Robert said. Aaron was wondering what that meant. He could be more than that trouble maker. Aaron frowned in his direction, not at all impressed by Robert.
Things were quiet for a few seconds, then Ellis and Adam started the conversation back up again. A few minutes later Sarah walked in and was talking to her children. Aaron thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to go to the toilets.
Aaron was washing his hands when Robert walked in.
“I ugh don’t know what I did to offend you, I do want us to get on, be mates. You and my sister grew up together and are really close and I would like to get on.” Robert said. Aaron just shrugged him away. Robert lightly grabbed his hand so Aaron could face him. Aaron felt electricity go through him. “Just think about it okay.” Aaron just shrugged and ran away. Robert was straight and had a girlfriend and was his best friend’s older brother, nothing could ever happen between them.
Aaron was at Vic’s hanging out. He was going out with Ed later that night. He was not sure if he wanted a boyfriend now. He was only 16 and he already had one serious relationship. But Ed seemed nice, and he liked him, so Aaron was willing to go on a date with him. On his way to Vic’s room he passed by Robert’s room. He caught him only half-dressed, he was in the middle of putting his shirt on. Aaron quickly went to Vic’s room so that Robert would not catch him and think he was watching him. He will try and get along with him since he will be over a lot.
The first movie they watch is Rocky. Vic knew it was his favourite and wanted to do something nice for him. While he was watching the movie he was thinking of Robert. Aaron had liked what he had seen. Robert was good looking. Aaron knew nothing could happen between them, but nothing wrong with admitting that he found him fit. He will try to be friendly with him from now on.
After the first movie, Aaron goes to the bathroom and then decides to talk to Robert. He knocks on Robert’s door. “It’s Aaron.”
“Come in.”
Aaron walks in and sees Robert was sitting at his desk reading something. Robert gets up and turns around to greet Aaron. Aaron walks towards him and gets caught on something, he falls on top of Robert. Aaron feels like his whole body is alive, he could feel every nerve ending and could feel Robert everywhere. Aaron was now looking at Robert who was looking directly at him. They had been looking at each other for a few seconds breathing heavily. Robert suddenly goes in and kisses him. Aaron responds immediately and kisses Robert back. Aaron gets caught up in the moment and is enjoying the kiss. This kiss is the best one he has ever had. Then Aaron realises what is happening and jumps off of Robert and starts to run away.
“Aaron, Aaron,” Robert calls out after him. Aaron ignores him and continues to go. He had a date tonight, and it was someone who it wasn’t complicated as they were not their best friend’s brother, did not have a girlfriend, and was not confused about his sexuality.
Aaron was ready for the date. Vic decided to help him with the outfit. While Aaron did not care what he wore, Vic wanted Ed to see that Aaron was the best person ever, and he was lucky to have a date with Aaron. It was not that big of a deal, it would be a movie and then hanging out at this cool cafe in town. Aaron was only interested in something casual. When Aaron saw Ed when he picked him up, he saw his smile and how good looking he was. Aaron had a date with the rugby star.
They were going to see the new mission impossible movie. Aaron was excited to see it. He loved these types of movies. Ed seemed nice so far. They were both quiet individuals and that worked for him
“Aaron, fancy seeing you here.” Aaron turned around and saw Robert. “Priya and I came to watch the new movie vacation. Priya loves those types of movies. Plus we are both fans of Chris. How about you?” Aaron nodded towards Ed. “Oh, lucky guy. Have fun. Ill see you later.” Robert said and walked away.
Aaron saw Robert talking to Priya and laughing with her. They seemed really close. Robert seemed like he really loved her. Aaron did not get why he kept feeling like Robert was trying to start something with him if he was clearly happy with Priya. Whatever there was a nice rugby player who was interested in him. He was going to enjoy the night.
Ed drove them to the cafe after the movie. Aaron really enjoyed it. He could have seen himself be an action star in another life. Aaron walked into the cafe and liked it. It looked like a place for teens to hang out if they wanted some quiet or privacy, and a nice place away from home. (more)
Aaron walked into Vic’s house the next day. He heard Robert talking to Priya. It looked like Robert enjoyed spending his time with his girlfriend and they seemed quite close. Why was he pulling moves on others then?
“…guys liking guys. It’s stupid.” Aaron hears Robert tell her and let out a frustrated sigh. Aaron was so mad. Robert was kissing someone else behind her back, a guy no less, and then he complains about gay guys. Aaron was fuming and ran to the garage where his uncle had set a punching bag for him. Aaron let out all of his frustrations out on the punching bag. Aaron knew that he needed to stay away from him. Aaron did not want to get caught up in these games. He just wanted to enjoy his life. He would only be sixteen once.
He texted Vic to come over so that he could tell her all about his date with Ed. They were not boyfriends, but Aaron was open to the idea of going out on another date with him.
A few days later Aaron was sitting in the pub with his sisters. Sarah Vic and Robert came in for their dinner. Aaron smiled at Vic and caught Robert smiling at him he frowned at him and turned around. Liv was smiling and sharing a story, everyone was listening closely, happy that her spirits were back up after her difficulties with her illness.
“Bud then went up to the counselor and told her that he was a better dancer than her. He then went and started a dance battle between her and the kids to see who the best dancer was. Gabby, Jacob and I were laughing the whole time. Bud is a terrible dancer. But he does have confidence for days.”
Liv was thirsty after sharing stories, so she went up to get another drink. she was at the bar when she suddenly felt dizzy. She was trying to hold herself up but it was no use, Liv fell on the floor. Robert was right by her when she fell. He went to her to check what happened. He realized what was happening and turned her on her side. He signaled for someone to call 999. Aaron and Chas rushed to her. Aaron was holding Liv close to him until the seizure stopped. Robert was by Aaron the whole time making sure that they were both okay. He put his hand on Aaron’s back to reassure him that she will be okay. When the ambulance was there Robert smiled a reassuring smile in his direction.
At the hospital, Aaron was freaking out. Liv seemed to be in healthy spirits and was happy, the seizure suddenly came from nowhere. This will crush Liv. She was 12 years old, she must have been so scared to be there fin one moment and then on the floor the next. Lif was so short. Robert was so good with her. Aaron was tired of the mixed messages and signals he was getting from him.
Robert drove Vic over so that she could be there with Aaron. Robert saw that Aaron was down, he decided to get Aaron some tea as a peace offering. He really did want to be friends with Aaron.
Aaron suddenly saw Robert come up to him and hand him a cup of something. Aaron looked up at him and gave him a face, one that meant what are you doing?
“Its tea. I just thought you can use it. Help to relax until you can see her. It will be fine. She seems like a fighter. Vic and I are always here if you want to talk.”
Aaron took the drink and sat down next to Robert. Aaron was sitting quietly, Robbert was sitting there with him as well. Aaron felt comfort at that moment knowing that he could sit there in quiet. THat he was not expected to talk and that was okay.
“Family of Olivia Dingle.”
Chas stood up immediately and listened to what her doctor said. They were allowed to see her family only. Vic and Robert said that they would wait for them here. Robert would be able to give Aaron and Vic a ride home after.
Aaron saw Liv lying in bed, she was frightened but also trying to put on a brave smile for everyone. Chas went up to her and reassured her that she was okay. That she would stay there with her until she was released from hospital. Aaron went up to her as well. He gave her a fist bump. The two of them smiled. His little sister had a special place in his heart. He was so happy that she was going to be okay.
On the ride back things were quiet. Vic was sitting close to him and keeping an eye on him. Aaron was so lucky that she was his best friend. When they got to the house they decided to play some video games.
“I can beat you,” Robert said confidentially.
“In your dreams.” Aaron responded. Aaron so far had won all the games. Robert was not very good at it. Vic even tried to help him but it was no use.
“One more game, I know I can win this time,” Robert said. He then got a text from Priya and he smiled at what it said. Aaron did not see what it said but saw that it was from Priya.
“I don’t want to be keeping you, you clearly have better things to do than play video games with two sixteen-year-olds.”
“Not really. It’s nice to have a break from university and work. I know I can beat you this time.”
Maybe Robert really did want to be friends with him. He did spend the day with him in hospital, drove him home, and was now playing video games with him. While Robert was bad at that he could see that he was trying to lift his spirits. Liv will be okay. Maybe the two of them can be friends. He is Vic’s brother. He liked her, so there should be no problem liking him. Nothing wrong with him having another friend.
“Yes I knew I could win one. I am not that bad at this am I?” Robert said proudly. Aaron genuinely had fun. He really was a good friend.
The next day Aaron went back to hospital. His mum said that Liv could come home today. While there Aaron ran into Alex, the med student who had asked him out.
“Aaron, what are you doing here?”
“My sister had another seizure.”
“Is there anything I can do to help. I’m a good listener and I do know my medicine.”
“Maybe another time. Ill text you.”
“I will be looking forward to it.”
Aaron saw that Liv was in happy spirits. He brought Liv a special treat, her fave chocolate. She deserved to have a smile on her face. Aaron hugged Liv and his mum tightly.
“She said that I won’t even have a mark this time. I also didn’t bight my tongue this time. I can eat all of these now. None are for you. These are all mine.” Liv said and then took the chocolates. She was just joking about not sharing and let her mum and brother have some as well.
Aaron was going to spend the evening at home. He would watch Liv’s favourite movie with her. He was just getting the popcorn and snacks ready, the film was all set on Netflix. He heard the doorbell ring. Aaron saw Vic, Adam, and Robert there.
“We thought we could spend some time with Liv. Remind her that we all love her. We made her favourites,” Vic said as she handed him a box of baked goods. Aaron let them into the house.
“I brought these for you. I noticed that they were your favourite.” Robert said and handed Aaron his favourite treat, sweet and sour gummies. Aaron smiled at him. He didn’t think Robert would notice that they were his fave to eat.
“Vic we are going to watch the best movie. I’m so happy that you are here to watch it with us.” Liv said and then hugged Vic close. Vic sat next to Liv and Adam sat on the other side of Vic. That left Aaron and Robert the love seat. Aaron sat down and Robert sat down next to him.
Aaron was not a massive fan of this movie, but Liv loved it and it was her turn to pick the film.
“Not really your fave is it. Not mine either. But little sisters are great and they like when they get their way.” Robert said and handed him some sweets. Aaron smiled in thanks. Aaron found that the two of them sitting together the conversation flowed seamlessly between them. It was as if they had been friends for years and not weeks. Aaron felt his heartbeat quicken and his cheeks flush. Robert handed him another sweet as he told him another funny story. Aaron felt himself become tired after the last few days and fell asleep. When Aaron woke up he realised that the movie was over. The only ones in the room where Robert and him. The others must have left. Robert looked down at him and saw that he was awake.
“Morning Sleeping Beauty, you sleep well.” Robert asked Aaron and smiled down at him.Robert looked down at Aaron and Aaron looked up at him they moved closer to each other when suddenly Aaron heard a loud bang. Aaron jumped up immediately and ran away.
Aaron had been ignoring Robert for the last few days. He had gone on another date with Ed and he had a date with Alex as well. His sister was also feeling better. Aaron was so confused about his feelings. He liked Ed, but he wasn’t sure if they had a future together. He was heading downstairs as Alex would be in the pub soon to pick him up. Aaron went out to the pub and saw Robert.
Robert went up to Aaron, he was full of nervous anxious energy. “Aaron can I talk to you for a second.”
“Make it quick I have a date.”
“That’s actually what I want to talk to you about, would you like to go out with me on Friday night?”
Aaron saw Priya smiling at both of them a friendly smile. He saw Alex come in as well. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.
The date with Alex was boring. Well mostly Alex was boring and Aaron did not really like him. He did not think that he would go out with him again. There was only one week left of August he was going to try and enjoy it the best he could.
The next day Aaron went over to Vic’s house to tell her about his date. Robert was there as well. He was sitting on the sofa with Priya and Vic.
“Hey, Aaron have you thought about my question?”
“Oh yes, I’m not sure if I have your number.”
“I’ll text you now so you have it. Want to play a game?”
“I came to talk to Vic actually. You and Priya have fun.”
Aaron and Vic went upstairs and he told her about the date. When Aaron was done he saw that there was a funny message from Robert. He smiled and texted him back.
“Whos that Ed, Alex?”
“Robert.”
“A yes quite the charmer he is.”
They went downstairs, Robert was there with Priya still and a bottle of wine. There were also a couple of unopened cans of beer.
“Do you guys want some. I figured a can each wouldn’t be bad.” Robert said and handed Aaron a can of beer. Aaron sat next to him and started drinking. It wasn’t every day that he was able to easily drink alcohol for free. Aaron took the controller and they played in teams. First, it was Priya and Robert vs Aaron and Vic. Vic then thought it would be fun if she played with Priya. That left Aaron on the same team as Robert. Robert was trying to help Aaron with the controllers and by doing so he put his arms around Aaron. Aaron had felt alive. He could feel every part of his body that was touching Robert’s. Robert was whispering in his ear where to go next and what to do. Aaron then heard Robert laughing and could feel it and thought that up close it was the most beautiful sound in the world. Thinking of that distracted Aaron momentarily and he crashed the car into a mountain and it then fell into a valley. Aaron laughed and Robert laughed with him. He was having so much fun.
“Yous are so cute. Arent they Priya?”
“The cutest. I think they are the cutest duo from the group. I’m jealous.”
Shit, shit, shit. Priya was his girlfriend. She was right there. Aaron forgot that she was there. He would not make that mistake again.
Over the next few days, Aaron and Robert were texting effortlessly. Conversations just flowed naturally between them. He always felt like they were in a little bubble. Whenever Robert asked him about going out, Aaron swerved the conversation in another direction. It was the second to last day of August and Robert asked him to come to meet him at a barn. Hanging out at Robert’s house was safe. He did like Robert and he wished that whatever was happening between them was clearer.
It was the end of August. Robert had texted him to come to one of the barns, he wanted to show him something. When Aaron got there he saw that Priya was hugging Robert goodbye and was smiling at Aaron before she left. Aaron was really confused by their relationship. Aaron saw that there was a blanket set up, with a bunch of different types of breads and sandwiches.
“I thought if I did this it would make my intentions clear, that I want to go out on dates with you, that I would love us to be boyfriends some point in the future. I just want you to know that I like you. I think you feel the same. I do like being friends with you but I want to be more.” Aaron frowned at him. “Oh god. I read this wrong, you aren’t interested. I am so stupid. I just thought I saw something when you looked at me. I thought you felt that spark to when we kissed, and when we touched. I’m sorry. I get it I won’t bother you.” Robert said dejectedly.
“What about Priya?” Aaron asks.
“Priya likes you, she thinks that you are good for me.”
“I don’t want to be in this open relationship that yous two have. I don’t share.”
“What?” Robert asks confused.
“You and Priya.” Aaron clarifies.
“Priya isn’t my girlfriend. She is my best friend. She is my Vic. We are really close but that is all we are. I don’t like Priya that way.”
“I don’t want to be a secret. I heard what you said to her about guys liking guys is stupid.”
“I’m bisexual. Something that I don’t hide from people. My family and Priya all know. I was telling her how when I kissed you in there it was the first time I kissed someone since Paul. My dad caught us together and freaked out. He kicked me out because I liked guys. I was saying it was stupid that my dad had an issue that guys liking guys, and I couldn’t let that keep haunting me. It was time for new beginnings. I was hoping to make new memories with you.”
“What about Vic. She is my best friend and you are her brother. This has got to be weird for her.”
“Vic noticed that I liked you, and she said that she thinks you liked me too. She said that I should go for it. That she wants us to be happy. As long as we are not all over each other she has no problem.”
Robert went closer to Aaron. He softly took his hand and held it in his. He looked at Aaron and he gave him a nod. Robert took Aaron into his arms and held him close. “Any other objections?” Robert asked.
“Shut up,” Aaron said and then did just that. Aaron and Robert shared a kiss and then another one. This kiss was even better than the first one. Now that there was no confusion or misunderstandings and their feelings were clear. The kiss felt like coming home. It felt like a new beginning.
Valentine’s day 2020
Robert had something special planned for Valentine’s day. He and Aaron had been dating for four and a half years. Aaron was in uni going strong. He would make a fine auto engineer soon. Robert and Priya had started up their business. He was excited about Valentine’s day. Since he and Aaron had started dating they have a few traditions for Valentine’s day. Robert hoped that the surprise this year went really well.
He and Aaron moved into a place in the village that was close to the university. It was important for Aaron to live close to his family and his home. He lived on campus for the first two years. After that, he said that that was enough experience. Since the village was close enough to the university, Aaron had decided to ask Robert to move into a place together. They were able to use Aaron’s inheritance money and money from Robert’s savings to buy the mill cottage. Robert had it all set up tonight so that they could enjoy their evening.
Aaron came back home. He saw that Robert had set up a table full of all their favourite foods. Aaron loved Robert’s cooking. He was so lucky to be dating someone who was excellent in the kitchen. He was definitely way more lucky than most university students.
After dinner, Robert and Aaron sat down on the sofa. Robert had a photo album he had made, and a box of Sarah’s cupcakes. Robert said that he wanted to look at the photos first. The photos were their story. From their birth, their family. Growing up, meeting each other, dating. It had their whole story. Aaron saw a picture from their first date. Aaron successfully finishing his exams, Robert’s graduation from uni. Aaron starting Uni. Them moving into their new place. Aaron smiled as he relived all of their memories. On the last page, Robert had written, ‘What will the future bring, to new beginnings.’
Robert opened the box of cupcakes. Each cupcake had one of the letters of Marry me spelled out on it. Aaron looked up and saw that Robert was holding a ring out for Aaron.
“Aaron, when my mum said we were moving back to Emmerdale after my dad died, I was unsure of that. I had so many nightmares. My mum said that every opportunity is a new beginning, and maybe I would be able to feel at home there. My mum was right, I met you and it changed everything. I’m the biggest flirt in high school, I can get anyone with a few well-placed words. And then you walked in and I became a stuttering mess and I can’t control myself anymore. I can’t even flirt with other people. You understand me in a way very few have understood me before. I can be myself who I really am, This awkward mess and I know that you won’t judge me. My mum was right about Emmerdale becoming my home again. I found my home with you. I am excited about our life to continue here in this home. Will you marry me?”
“Yes.” Robert slipped the ring on Aaron’s finger. He got another box out with an identical ring. Aaron slipped the ring on Robert’s finger. He hugged Robert close. Aaron then started kissing him. Aaron was excited to christen the house as an engaged couple. This place really did bring them new beginnings.
There was pink and red everywhere. Robert looked in the village. David’s shop was the worst offender, and he felt blinded by it all. The pink cards, the pink flowers, pink colored crisp packages and even the beer cans in the refrigerators seemed to not have been saved from the Valentine’s take over. He shook his head and wondered vaguely if Valentine’s Day as a holiday had taken over the world while he was in prison? He frowned at the flower display and tried to push the holiday out of his mind, or rather the person it made him think about.
He’d told Vic he’d do the shopping – needing to give her something back for letting him say with her until he figured out a flat for himself. It was hard going because he wanted to be in Emmerdale. He needed to stay close to his family. He’d missed them more deeply than he expected to while he was in prison and being home. It felt amazing to back in his sister’s life, to know his nephew — even Diane wasn’t annoying him to often. He supposed eventually that might fade, but he missed her.
Robert needed them. All of them. But most of all he needed Seb. The thought of him made all the Valentine’s Day decoration fade away. He felt a rush of happiness that made him feel like he was buzzing from the inside. Seb was spectacular. He was perfect. He was too old, twelve, and Robert lost far too much time. But they were getting along, somehow, his son didn’t hate him for leaving him — it’d been his worst nightmare over the years. But after a few hard questions, Seb had hugged him and cried and told him he was happy Robert was home.
He wasn’t sure if his homecoming would’ve gone so easily if Seb hadn’t accepted him, but he did, so Robert pushed down the what-ifs and found it easier to ignore all the cheery pink around him. He smiled at the thought of his son and how amazing he was —
But the real reason for that popped up in his mind, and he saw himself looking at a card that was taped to the wall as decoration. To My Husband on its cover and he frowned.
Aaron.
Only they weren’t husbands, not anymore. Robert had ended it with the clink of his ring on a white table. He watched Aaron take it, not realizing what was happening and hated himself more than he ever had before. But it was the past now, and he needed to focus on the present. He told himself it wasn’t like they’d ever celebrated Valentine’s Day themselves when they were together. He remembered mocking it more than anything, shaking their heads at the fuss and people wasting their money. Then using it as an excuse to make it an early night. As if they never found on any given day to do the same.
Memories of them in bed rose up, and he couldn’t stop the smile. The truth was he spent a lot of hours thinking about them to simply stay sane in prison. There were lists and rankings, and maybe it was mad, but it’d kept his alive. It wasn’t just sex, of course, it was laughter and conversations. It was Aaron. It’d kept him alive somehow. Even when the thought of Aaron was a wound in his heart instead. Missing him, letting him go, it was a double-edged blade — thinking about him saved him, but it’d also hurt too.
He smacked a hot pink balloon with a bit too much heft as he passed it and tried to bury down the memories. He needed to let him go — again. Always. He was out now, and he couldn’t use Aaron like this any longer. They were over, and it wasn’t going to change. He’d shoved Aaron away without looking back years ago, and it’d worked. Aaron moved on with a life without Robert in it, and now there was too much time and distance.
And Aaron had moved on.
At least he wasn’t married.
Though he was living with someone. Tim or Jim, or was Ian? Robert shook his head and hated eventually he’d learn the man’s name. The man he had to accept had a life with Aaron. But, no all that mattered was the man was good to Seb, that he accepted his son and wasn’t going to hurt him. And he knew Aaron would never put up with that, so there was nothing to worry about — his son was safe and happy. His son was being raised by Aaron, and Aaron was allowing Robert to take part in it. Somehow despite all the time and distance between them.
He was back to thinking about his son About the things he’d learned. How he was tall for his age, how he’d inherited the Sugden freckles, and somehow he was still more of a redhead than a blonde. Robert grinned as he thought about bright and precocious Seb was, but it grew wider at the fact his son scowled a bit. It made him look so much like Aaron that it hurt a bit. It also made relief flood him that his son had Aaron in him, that he was being raised by Aaron because Robert had always wanted it. He’d always thought his son’s best interests would be under Aaron’s watchful eye.
He always knew Aaron would be the perfect dad.
He frowned as he realized he hadn’t managed to get Aaron out of his mind at all. And on cue, the bell to the shop rang and Robert looked up and in came the two most important people in his life. He felt a bit blinded by the two of them, there together. Both of them smiling at him like they were glad to see him. Aaron’s smile seemed bright, and their eyes met, and Robert felt that familiar pull he always felt around Aaron. He wished he could give into it, wished all of this was more than just a hello, but he felt thankful Aaron seemed to have met his promise about them being mates.
“Hi ya,” Aaron said after a moment with a shake of his head, like he was rude forgetting.
Robert just shrugged at him and returned the greeting.
Seb made an odd snorting sort of noise, which made Robert look at him, and a rush of extreme affection rolled through him. He suddenly he realized he did have a reason to celebrate Valentine’s Day. It was the perfect excuse to find another way to spoil Seb rotten — and he meant too, he meant to show Seb he loved him in any way he could possibly manage.
“Hey, kiddo,” he said.
“That’s a lot of food,” Seb said, pointing to his overly full cart of food.
“Your Aunt Vic’s fridge is empty,” Robert laughed. “She’s gotten a bit caught up with work lately…”
“Yeah… Valentine’s rush, mum, calls it,” Aaron laughed. “It’s like people do test runs at the Woolpack.”
“Test runs, for what dropping a ring in the wine glass?” Robert rolled his eyes.
Aaron laughed. “Who would propose at the Woolpack? Daft.”
“What’re you gonna…” he sighed and instantly regretted the question.
“What?” Aaron prodded.
“Doing for…” Robert shrugged and looked at David’s gaudy display of red and pink flowers.
“Oh…uh,” Aaron mumbled and looked down at his feet.
Robert braced himself to hear Aaron was going away with his boyfriend or something.
“Tim and Da, they broke up.” Seb nearly shouted it, and Robert stared at his son. Seb beamed at him. “Tim and Da, they broke up.”
“Oh….” Robert bit the inside of his cheek because he couldn’t smile, he couldn’t assume this was good news. It really wasn't… Aaron had been living with this man.
“Yeah… it wasn't… it just wasn’t going to work out.”
Robert opened his mouth to attempt to tell Aaron he was sorry to hear it when his son spoke over him.
“Maybe Dad can come over Friday,”
“Friday?” the two of them said in unison, given it was Wednesday.
“Valentine’s Day,” Seb announced like it wasn’t anything.
He shook his head and tried not to notice that Aaron was doing the same — it shouldn’t hurt, and he was saying no too, obviously. But he needed to avoid Aaron’s face, and his own felt hot, and he wished they could spend the day together, but they just couldn’t do that…
They couldn’t.
But he had another idea. “How about you and I do something on Valentine’s Day, Seb?”
“I’m your son,” he muttered.
“Exactly and I love ya… So, we could make a special day of it, right? If your Dad’s okay with it?”
“Yeah, it’s a great idea. What do you say, Seb?”
Seb looked from Aaron to Robert and back again with an odd expression on his face. Robert was just learning how to read his son, and he wasn’t all sure what it was he was witnessing, and he was afraid Seb was about to say no, that he didn’t want to spend time with him and he wondered if he could brace for that hurt.
“Seb…” Aaron said, his voice gruff.
“Okay, yeah, of course,” Seb said quickly, and he hugged Robert too. “Yeah, it’ll be fun.” He pulled away from Robert and looked, Aaron. “I saw Isaac was up at the swings can I go, Da?”
“Of course,” Aaron said, and Seb rushed off quickly.
“It isn’t weird, is it?” Robert asked after a beat.
“What?”
“Father and son on Valentine’s Day?”
“Bloody made-up holiday anyway, why not use it as an excuse to love on him?” Aaron shrugged. “Plus, he’s got your sweet tooth, so chocolate will win help in you continue to win him over.”
“Are you suggesting I’d bribe my son to like me?”
“Are you suggesting you wouldn’t?” Aaron’s eyes glinted.
“No,” Robert laughed, and it felt like they fell into a staring contest. Robert cleared his throat and asked another question he shouldn’t, but he was curious. "What happened with…“
"Tim? It just wasn’t going to… It wasn’t going to work out…” Aaron cleared his throat. “It’s been coming.”
“Oh, yeah… I just didn’t…” He felt stupid and like he was making it all about him, or them when it probably wasn’t about him at all.
“It just wasn’t going to work out, we wanted different things…” Aaron said after a beat.
“I'm…” he tried to say sorry, but it never formed on his tongue.
They stood there again, and Robert started to wonder if they were standing to close when Aaron broke the silence again. “So…A pint later?”
Robert smiled with relief, and he felt more grounded again. The truth was they’d decided to be mates. They’d avoided each other when he first got back. They’d yelled at each other, and then Robert had broken down and apologized. Aaron revealed he’d forgiven him years ago…
They got to a good place. It was for Seb, really, Robert thought because they couldn’t raise him together as strangers. And Aaron offered to do this to make them equal in their son’s life, and Robert felt grateful. The truth was Aaron held the cards, he was the one who was raising their son, and Robert wasn’t going to take away that power. But Aaron wanted them to do it together, he promised Robert they’d figure out a way and asked for them to mates.
So they were mates.
And they went for a pint.
Nearly every day.
“Yeah, meet ya there, usual time?”
Aaron nodded. “Yeah.”
“Great…” He said. “I better…” He raised up his groceries.
“Right… I should get what I came in for…” Aaron looked around the shop.
Yet they stood there together, both of them pointedly not looking at the other before they cleared their throats and went their separate ways. As Robert turned, he caught a glimpse of Seb through the window and smiled at him, happy to see him but a bit curious why he was looking into the store. Seb blinked, then smiled and waved at him before turning around and heading toward the playground.
Robert shrugged, shook his head, and stuck his groceries down for the kid currently working for David to scan.
One Day Later
Seb sighed where he sat at the bar of the Woolpack, his maths homework spread out in front of him. He was nearly done, he could’ve been done ages ago, but he kept getting distracted. But how STUPID his Dads were. They were first-class idiots. Seb had never seen anyone or anything more ridiculous than the two of them. He really wondered how they could be so monumentally idiotic?
He turned back to his maths, but he couldn’t focus, so he ended up looking at his Dads again and sighed again. Because they looked happy, they looked more than happy, really, and Seb was sick and tired of them ignoring the fact that they only felt that way together.
He could see it. They both smiled the entire time, they’d see each other, and their faces would light up, and they’d talk, and the smiles would be wider and brighter. They reached his Da’s eyes, and he had never seen his Da smile like that and all his clearest memories his Da was there… and he was sometimes a sulky bloke, but so was Seb — so what, but he’d thought he’d seen his Da happy before. He thought Tim had made his Da happy, but then he’d seen his Dad make his Da laugh…
And yeah, there was no comparing it.
His Da was the happiest Seb ever seen him since his dad came home — Seb was too, and he knew his Dad was because he told Seb more than once that being in his life again was the happiest he’d been in a long time. But he was still sad when his Da wasn’t around, and his Da was downright moody and weird when his Dad wasn’t around.
But they kept saying they were just mates. Seb shook his head because they didn’t look like mates. And they looked way more happy and in love than Da had ever looked with Tim. And Tim had been gone for weeks now, weeks, and he definitely wasn’t coming back…
So wasn’t his Da saying anything to his Dad about them.
They loved each other, you’d need to live under a rock to not know it.
How did they not know it? It seemed the only explanation, the two of them were being idiots who couldn’t see the truth. They belonged together. Seb was starting to believe he was the one who would have to do something about it. If they wouldn’t spend Valentine’s Day together — he’d just have to figure out how to make it happen.
~~~
He decided Leyla Harding-Cavanaugh was his only hope for two very important reasons. The first was a conversation he’d overheard between her and Tracy the night before…. It seemed he wasn’t the only one watching his Dads and wondering why they were being slow about admitting their feelings. She thought it would happen sooner rather than later. Seb had heard her use the word inevitable. So, they were in agreement that his Dads belonged together, and that made her a natural ally. Second. Her job was throwing Weddings. Soppy things were her specialty, so she would know exactly what he needed to do to get his Dads to stop being idiots.
So he walked into Take a Vow, carrying the big shoe box from under his bed and marched up to Leyla at her desk and spilled all the coins and paper bills of money he had onto it and announced himself.
“I need to hire you for advice,” he said.
Leyla blinked at him a bit and stared at the money. “What?”
“I need to hire you for advice,” he repeated.
“Oh?”
“Yes.”
Then she was grinning. She leaned forward her eyes wide with interest. “Who is the lucky girl or boy you want to impress for Valentine’s Day?”
He screwed up his face in disgust. “Ew. It’s not about me.”
“It’s not?”
“No…gross.”
“I’m confused,” Leyla shook her head.
“It’s my Dads.”
“Oh…” She breathed it out like it solved all the questions in the universe.
“How do I get them to admit they should get back together?”
She was back to blinking at him and he’d really never noticed how long her eyelashes were — they had to be fake, he leaned forward a bit to see if he could tell.
“Seb, I don’t think I can help you there.”
“No! You have too, it’s taking way too long and their all sad when they aren’t together.”
“Well… it is very complicated.”
“Is not,” he stood his ground. “They’re happier together. Da does this thing with his mouth I didn’t know he could, and my Dad gets bigger, like he’s less scared of everything since he’s out of prison. And they laugh, and they talk FOREVER and forget to drink their pints. They need to get back together, PLEEEEEASE.”
“Isn’t your dad with Tim?”
“They broke up like weeks ago….” Seb sighed, feeling frustrated.
Leyla’s eyes lit up. “Really?”
“Yes! And it’s Valentine’s Day, shouldn’t they get together then?”
“Well…”
“You have to help me make them see it’s for the best.”
“I don’t know what I can do, though… I don’t really disagree with you, always was a bit jealous of them really…. But it’s been a long time, and your dad, Robert, he just got out of prison.”
“It’s been months, he got out before my birthday.”
“Well… I mean short of knocking their heads together, I really don’t know…”
“Knocking their heads together, how would that work?”
“Not literally, locking them in a room or something until they really talk about things… but I mean, you can’t really do that, can you, Seb.”
“Lock them…” Seb’s brain felt warm, thoughts were forming, a plan was taking place. HE KNEW EXACTLY WHAT TO DO. “Thank you, Mrs. Harding-Cavanagh,” he shouted before running out of her shop.
“Seb, your money…” Leyla yelled.
“You earned it,” he yelled back just before the door closed and grinned madly.
Operation Idiots was in effect.
There were just a few details to iron out before Friday.
~~~
Later on Thursday
Robert glanced at the cheap watch on his wrist, and Aaron averted his eyes from it and tried not to think about the watch that used to live on his husb — no Robert’s wrist… Aaron sighed and wondered when he’d find the courage to return the watch to Robert now that he was out — he could give it to Seb himself someday. But the thought of even touching that watch brought up feelings and thoughts that were just best avoided.
“Huh…it’s really late, Aaron.”
Aaron glanced at the pint he’d barely taken a sip from because they’d just kept talking all night. Not about much really, mostly Seb and some random subjects. It wasn’t like they’d ever had issues just talking, or getting along, or just being quiet together. It was all so simple, really, how easy it was to be Robert’s mate and just meet for a pint. "Is it?“
"Going on ten.”
Aaron’s eyes widened, and he looked around the bar. Seb was easy to find. He was at the corner of it by the door to the kitchen. His books were all shut, and he was sitting there and looking at them. At seeing Aaron look over, he immediately looked away like he’d been caught — that was weird. Or maybe he knew it was way past his bedtime. “I’ve gotta get Seb home…”
Robert nodded and moved to his feet. “Of course.”
Somehow though, Aaron and Seb found themselves walking with Robert. He and Seb were talking. Robert checking he’d done all his homework and listening to him talk about his assignments. Aaron felt a warmth in his chest at it all, Robert getting to hear about their kid’s day at school, and he swallowed over a lump in his throat at it all. It was nice, but it also unsettled him.
They all came to a stop in front of Keepers.
“Well, here I am…” Robert said. “So, I’ll pick you up from school tomorrow, and we’ll spend the rest of the day together?” he asked Seb and Aaron wished he stop sounding so unsure.
“Of course, Dad, I want too,” Seb said, his tone reassuring and saying with it what Aaron wished he could find the words to say to Robert. He wanted Robert to see what he did, how mad their kid was about him. Seb loved Robert, he’d never stopped. Asked about him all the time, in a lot of ways, he’d kept Robert alive for Aaron in a way that didn’t burn — too much.
Robert looked relieved and hugged Seb goodbye, running a hand over his head before standing up straighter. “Well, yeah, I’ll see ya, Aaron.”
“See ya…” Aaron echoed.
But they stood there, gazes locked for a good minute. Aaron searched for an excuse to keep talking, but there was none, and he almost thought Robert was doing that same. But then Robert shook his head a bit and turned around. And Aaron watched him walk away and go inside the cottage.
And Aaron felt an impulse to fly at the door, bang on it, and drag Robert home with him because he was remembering another February. A night where he stood exactly where he was standing now and shouted at Robert that they belonged together because it was the truth of them. Of him. It was something he knew in his bones, that Robert was it for him and no one else would ever compare.
He loved Robert.
He knew he loved Robert.
It was in the bones of him.
He’d broken up with Tim because with Robert back, he’d seen he’d been settling — again — and he knew he couldn’t do that to Tim. Tim deserved someone who could give him all of themselves. Aaron would never be able to do that with any other man but Robert.
Yet it didn’t mean he was letting Robert back into his heart, into his home, into his life…
Even though it was all forgiven.
He’d forgiven Robert a long time ago for pushing him away. He’d always understood why even if he hadn’t been able to admit for the first year or so… But even so, when Robert arrived back in town that anger had risen up and he’d yelled, he’d yelled until his throat was hoarse. They’d cried, they’d both apologized but hearing Robert’s had given him clarity.
It truly was all forgiven.
But it was too late for them.
It’d been too long.
It was too risky.
All those things echoed and repeated in Aaron’s head, so he’d done the only thing he could think of and promised himself they’d be mates. Best mates, close mates… that’d they be friends. Because at the very least, he could get his best friend back because it was the truth. Somewhere during all their breakups and reunions, Robert had become his best friend, the one person who knew him with just a look and that he could talk to about anything.
The depth of how he’d just missed that alone was unspeakable.
So, they had a pint, every day, and talked about everything, talked about nothing — like today where they’d mocked Valentine’s Day again like they used too and talked about Seb and what he might like to do with Robert. Then they just talked about their son, because it was the easiest and both their favorite subject… But it’d been quiet too, or they’d spoken about nothing really, it’d just been good to sit together, to laugh together.
Aaron ignored the fact he’d ached to touch Robert the entire time, and now he pushed down the ached he felt to fly at Vic’s door, pound on it, and shout at Robert to come home.
“Da?” Seb’s voice broke through his thoughts.
And reminded him how terrifying his feelings where. Because it was terrifying. What if it all went wrong? Aaron wouldn’t be the only one hurt. He turned to Seb and smiled at him and ignored that it was a bit forced because he did ache for Robert. But their son was everything, to him and to Robert.
And they weren’t going to risk hurting him.
“Let’s get home,” Aaron said and started walking toward the Mill.
“Why can’t you come with us tomorrow.”
“It’d be good for you and your dad to have a day to yourselves, don’t you want too?”
“Of course, yeah, it’ll be fun, but…”
“What?”
“Couldn’t all of us just play some games and watch a movie at The Mill?”
“No,” Aaron shook his head.
“Why not?”
“Seb, I have to work tomorrow anyway, there is a big shipment, I will be stuck up there long after you get home from school. And this is important to your dad, all right. He likes to spoil the people he loves, and he’s got a lot of lost time to make up with you.”
Seb’s face went serious, and he nodded. “I get it, I guess, but I love him. He doesn’t have to spoil me.”
“I know, I think he might know that too, but remind him, alright…” Aaron frowned. “Sometimes, he doesn’t think he’s enough.”
“Why?”
“It’s complicated. Come on, we’ve got to get you home, it’s past your bedtime, I don’t know how it got so late.”
Seb snorted.
“What?”
“You don’t know how it got so late?” Seb was giving him a look.
Aaron blinked at him.
“Whatever,” Seb whined two seconds later.
“Seb?”
Seb sighed and yawned. “I’m just tired, I guess, since it’s so late, forget it.”
Aaron smiled at him, fondly and put his hands on his shoulders. He was getting so tall, he would be taller than him, and he wondered if he’d be taller than Robert or the same height as him. “Let’s get you home.”
“I just…”
“What Seb?”
“He never comes to the Mill, Dad… Unless you’re not there.”
“Seb,” Aaron sighed. “It’s just complicated.”
“Why?”
“The Mill is…” Aaron shook his head. “It’s better this way, alright.”
“Why?”
They weren’t purposely doing it, at least Aaron didn’t think they were. But it made sense, he thought. Them avoiding being together at the Mill. It’d been their home, and it’d been a happy home. Robert built it for them, and once they finally were truly together, nothing else between them and living together. It’d been the best days of Aaron’s life, and he looked back and knew he’d never been that happy before. And he only came close to be that happy again when he was with Robert — he knew it, but there wasn’t much he could do about it.
They couldn’t go back. Could they?
As they walked closer to it, Aaron realized he hadn’t allowed it to change much over the years. He could bring himself to completely de-Robert it. Things here and there changed but the soul of it… The soul of it was what Robert built.
For them.
Robert had been in the Mill a few times since he came home. And the space was loud around them… All the happy memories had echoed around them, and for Aaron, it brought back their dreams too. Seeing Robert in the Mill reminded him about their life together, how they’d wanted more children. He thought about them now, those children. Would they be boys or girls? Would they be more like Robert or him…
“Da?” Seb sounded worried, and Aaron looked at him and knew they’d all be as brilliant as him. Suddenly he was missing children he never had and never would have…
There was no blame, but that dream was broken.
“It’s just complicated, Seb,” Aaron repeated.
“I just… I like having you both around and…”
“You’ll always have the both of us, Seb,” Aaron interrupted him. “Always, Robert’s not going anywhere. Never again.”
“I know that,” Seb sounded exasperated. “Do you?”
“What?”
“I know Dad’s staying. But I don’t think you’ve figured it out.” Seb stalked into the Mill.
Seb suddenly seemed older than his twelve years. Aaron had seen a fierceness in his eyes that showed he’d meant every word, but Aaron wasn’t at all sure he understood at all what Seb meant. He hurried into the Mill and caught him just before he went upstairs.
“Seb, I know your dad will never leave ya, again.”
“I’m not talking about me, Da,” Seb sounded even more frustrated. “I’m going to bed.”
All Aaron could do was shake his head.
Valentine’s Day
“So, you’re working?” it was the third time he doubled his check his dad planned to be at the scrapyard ALL DAY. But it was important to his plan that the day goes according to THE PLAN.
“I told you, big shipment coming in this morning, will be busy all day.”
“Right so, the shipment’s at…”
“Around noon… Seb, what’s this about?”
“Nothing,” he muttered and put a piece of toast in his mouth. But he felt his dad’s eyes on him. Seb knew he seemed suspicious, but it was hard to act calm about everything. This plan could change everything. This plan had to change everything, he thought as he stuffed more toast in his mouth and hoped Da would drop it.
He got lucky, and his dad went back to eating his own toast.
Seb started to smile as he chewed.
“Looking forward to your day with your Dad?” Aaron asked him, and it was the third or fourth time. He wasn’t the only one repeating questions.
“Yeah, of course. Still think it’s a dumb holiday,” he muttered, because it was dumb — unless he managed to get his Dads back together, then it might become his favorite holiday.
“It’s important to your dad to treat ya, Seb.”
“And I’m gonna let him…” Seb grinned. “I mean, he tries too hard, but it’s nice…” He bit into the last piece of toast because he felt his eyes getting wet. The truth was he really did like spending time with his Dad. Anywhere and anyway, he didn’t really care. His Da wasn’t the only one who had missed him.
The truth was before Dad came back, all of Seb’s memories about him were pretty blurry. But, he remembered a lot of sweets being given to him, and there were funny voices he’d make for the characters in all his favorite books. Seb remembered being held in strong arms and feeling safe. And he’d tried hang onto that memory the hardest after his mum died. He’d tried to hang onto all of them harder after she died, and wished he had clearer ones to hold on like he did of her.
But it got harder the older he was…
And now he had him back he knew again how safe his hugs felt and that his Dad loved him and how he smiled at hard he was always trying and how sometimes he asked too many questions and Seb didn’t really have all the answers. But his Dad wanted to know him, and he wanted to know his Dad too…
But he wanted him home more.
Being back in the village wasn’t enough.
Harry shouldn’t be the one getting to live with him.
Seb wanted his Dads together because that was going to make them happier, and it would make him happier too.
So, today his Dad wasn’t going to get to try to hard to show his love. No, today, his Dad was finally going to admit he wanted to spend the rest of his life with his Da again…
At least if Seb had any say in the matter.
“I love him, Da,” Seb said.
Aaron smiled at him at that, and the light in his eyes almost lit up as much as it did around his Dad. But it faded out quickly, and his father shook his head. “Yeah, yeah…he loves you.”
“Da?”
“Yeah?”
“Do you?” Seb asked as doubt about his plan creeped in out of nowhere.
“Do I what?”
“Love Dad?”
“Seb…” His voice sounded clogged up. “It’s complicated.”
Seb frowned. “That’s grown-up, for I don’t wanna lie to you.”
“It is not.”
“Then tell me the truth? You always say the truth is best.”
“Seb…”
“What?”
Aaron sighed and moved his chair closer to Seb. “Sometimes, love is complicated and when you’re older…”
“So, you do, love him,” Seb exclaimed because that was all he needed to know to be sure again.
“Yes….but.”
“I knew it,” Seb grinned, cutting his father’s disclaimer off. Seb was pretty sure it was just grown-up lies and silliness anyway. His doubt was gone, and he nodded to himself. He’d seen them together, he knew his Da’s smiles, and he knew only his Dad had the power to make him really happy.
He was definitely doing the right thing.
~~~
“No?” Robert scratched the back of his neck and tried not to feel out of sorts, but it was easy to feel thrown by Seb. He wanted them to get along, and he wanted to spend as much as time as he could with him. He knew he’d never get bored of him, he loved him so much — it hurt sometimes. And he’d lost so much time, and since deciding on spending Valentine’s Day with him, he’d been looking forward to it a lot.
But Seb seemed off, and now he was saying no to a movie, and Robert felt hurt, and he tried to shove it aside because it wasn’t about him. It was about his son. He took a deep breath and told himself it was just a no to seeing a movie. Maybe Seb had something else he wanted to do.
“I forgot something in Da’s car,” Seb said as he finished off his chocolate donut. “It’s part of a maths project that’s due Monday.”
Robert frowned. “Was it assigned today, you haven’t mentioned it before?”
“No, I just forgot about it. But I thought Aunt Liv is always saying your good at maths and all. Can you help me with it today? Maybe we can do a movie later, with Da? Please, Dad?”
“Yeah, of course… I mean, I’m not going to let you not finish your homework… Seb, you should have brought this up sooner.”
Seb just shrugged at him, swallowed the donut, and grinned at him in a way that was a lot like looking into a mirror. It made Robert smile, but something about the shine in Seb’s eyes made the hair on the back of his neck stand up. He chuckled a bit and told himself it was probably a warning that he was in for it with this kid – that this amazing kid was his and he was going to have his hands full. All he wanted was to be a good father, he could at least do all he could to get that right and be there for Seb.
Always.
“Alright, so you left it in your dad’s car?”
“Yeah, the backseat…”
“Alright, I’ll call him,” he started to pull his phone out of his jacket pocket.
“He’s probably outside, he’s at the scrapyard, said there was a shipment….” Seb hopped up from the table, “Let’s just drive up there.”
Robert nodded and felt thankful he had Vic’s car for the day, and soon enough, they’d climbed into it, and his son started texting. He frowned at that and elbowed him a bit.
“Who are you texting?”
“Belle… I thought since we’re heading that way, I’d walk over to see the pigs? Just making sure someone is home.”
“Okay…” Robert nodded. “You like pigs?”
“Oh yeah, and the cows and lambs at Isaac’s…it’s fun to play with them. Isaac doesn’t like too so much, says he gets stuck having to wake up early, and he gets smelly from things his mum makes him do. I like my chores better.”
Robert smiled. “I hated farming chores, myself.”
“You had chores like Isaac…”
“Yeah, I grew up on a farm like Butler’s…’ Robert smiled and started talking about his childhood, amazed at how easy it felt to talk about memories that use to cause only pain. But it was made easy by Seb’s smiles and simple questions and put everything into a different perspective.
"Belle says I can come over.”
“Tell her, I’ll be there too…” Robert laughed as he pulled into the scrapyard, a flood of memories hitting him, and he gripped the wheel a bit tight at an onslaught of memories. He and Aaron had been through a lot, and the scrapyard had always been there through all the ups and all the downs. Robert had lost count of the times they’d locked the doors to the Portacabin – when they remembered too anyway.
But now wasn’t the time for those memories, and he pushed it down for another memory to rise up. It was a bright memory and one of his favorites. He’d thought about it a lot over the years. I’d gotten him through a lot of hard times, and now he could share it with his son… He was back in his son’s life, and he could tell him about the amazing moment Aaron first held him.
“You know, the first time your dad held ya, was in that PortaCabin.”
“Really?”
“Yeah… You were a little terror, I was stressed out, and you were picking it up. Your dad, he held ya for me, and you calmed right down and wrapped him around your finger, I think…” Robert smiled. “I remembered thinking it looked ao right, you two, together…” he sniffed hard to fend off tears, the visceral memory surprising him a bit as he spoke. “I’m just so happy you’ve had him in your life Seb. There is no one who can love ya better than Aaron.”
“There’s you, too, Dad. You both love me loads,” Seb smiled.
“I’ll try.”
Seb beamed and in a blink he was out of the car.
“Seb…” Robert laughed and hurried after him. He felt weird about stepping into the PortaCabin. He’d been working out of Vic’s flat or Nicola’s house rather than up here. It’d felt wrong to encroach on Aaron’s spaces after so long… The first thing he noticed was that the desks had been shifted about a bit bit, but it was the same four walls. There was a slightly newer looking heater that it seemed to keep the room a bit of bearable temperature even in February in Yorkshire. a
“Hi ya…” Aaron said, looking at the two of them with confusion. “I thought we decided…”
Not to see each other today. Robert finished for him in his head, and they hadn’t spoken about it. It’d been a silent agreement, and Robert wasn’t totally certain why… Valentine’s Day wasn’t important to them, but it felt like… It felt like it might bring up all the things they both want to say, or the things they feel they can’t say. It just felt best to avoid it altogether.
After all, there was no them.
“Seb forgot about a maths project…” Robert said.
“He what?” Aaron looked at their son.
“Yeah…” Seb muttered. “Sorry… I left it in the car, can I have the keys?”
Aaron sighed and pulled his keys off the ring by the PortaCabin door. “Alright, go get it.”
Seb took the keys and grinned.
Robert felt his hair on his neck, go up again.
“Seb?” Aaron was saying Seb’s name in a parental tone and standing up.
Seb slammed the door shut behind him.
“Oi, no need to slam the…” Aaron shouted but stopped short as they heard the clang of keys and loud click. “Seb!”
Robert stared at the locked door and jumped when his cell phone rang. He grabbed at it and nodded. “It’s him,” he muttered as he answered it.
“Put me on speaker…”
Robert followed the order, mostly because he was too puzzled to do anything else. “Seb, open the door…” the both of them yelled.
“Welcome to Operation Idiots. It’s been FOREVER already, I can’t wait any longer. I’m tired of watching you be all happy together and then sad when you’re apart. I might be a kid, but it is obvious you belong together. I am tired of waiting. So, it is Valentine’s Day, so it’s the perfect time for you two to GET BACK TOGETHER. You’ll be alone, no one will interrupt and you can’t wuss out and leave cause I locked the door. I’ll be over at Wishing Well with the pigs and Belle, so don’t worry about me, I’m sorted.”
The line went dead.
“SEB,” Aaron shouted, and he pounded on the door. “SEB.”
Robert walked to the window and peered out. Sure enough, his son was skipping, his way toward Wishing Well. He shoved his phone into his jacket and suddenly wondered what the hell to do with his arms, legs, hell his entire body.
He was alone with Aaron for the foreseeable.
And the truth was they’d been meeting in public spaces for a reason.
Even if they never spoke it.
Aaron shouted Seb’s name one more time before just stopping. He seemed to just freeze facing the door and let out a long breath. Then he turned around, and Robert forced himself to look at him.
Aaron looked as frazzled as he felt.
Somehow that allowed him to breathe.
Aaron moved next to him, both of them sitting a bit on the desk with less clutter on it. Aaron scraped his hands over his face and shook his head. “He’s…”
“Mine?” Robert offered with a laugh.
Aaron chuckled.
“Does he really have a maths project?” Robert asked.
“Probably not.”
Robert laughed again.
Aaron sighed.
“Operation Idiots?” they spoke together, then laughed together, and Robert felt his heart hammer in his chest as he remembered every time he’d fondly called Aaron an idiot… Especially that day, during the last proposal when they’d jinxed each other and Aaron been mad, Robert tried to step on his turn to propose…
It felt so long ago. It was so long ago. But he looked at Aaron and felt like no time had passed at all. But it was heavy now, the memory and realized they’d only managed a year of happiness. He’d ruined it, he’d ruined them every time and did he really deserve another chance. He wanted it, he wanted it enough to take it – he knew he’d take it if Aaron offered.
But he couldn’t ask for it.
And he doubted Aaron would offer it.
Aaron cleared his throat and looked away from him.
“I’ll call Belle…” He said and dialed her number.
Robert nodded.
“Belle, it’s Aaron…” He started. “Look, can you get the keys from Seb and come and let… What… What do ya.. What?”
“What is she saying?”
“It is not a good idea…” Aaron sighed. “What did he tell ya?”
“Is she coming?” Robert asked though he was pretty sure he knew the answer.
“No. She thinks Seb has a point, and we should talk.”
“She what?”
Aaron’s cheeks went red, and he ducked his head. “She’s decided to support Seb’s plan.”
“He’s twelve.”
“Liv was fourteen,” Aaron said.
Robert laughed. “At least we had a beer then.”
Aaron smiled, and their eyes locked.
Then they both looked away.
Robert sighed.
“Belle really won’t make us stay here too long… So uh… Get comfortable?” Aaron muttered and he sat down at his desk. “I guess I’ll do paperwork.”
“Really?” Robert said.
“What?” Aaron said as he sat down.
“Paperwork?”
Aaron averted his eyes and pulled out a pen.
Robert stared at him, and he shifted where he stood. He tried sitting down. He fiddled with the zipper on his jacket. He sighed a few times and glanced at Aaron — a few times he caught Aaron glancing at him, and he was pretty sure Aaron wasn’t actually doing the paperwork in front of him.
Robert cleared his throat loudly.
Aaron looked at him.
“Would…would…” He shouldn’t. He knew he shouldn’t, …but he wanted too and somehow that won out. "Would talking about what Seb said be so bad?“
Aaron pretended to be reading whatever paperwork he had under his nose for a bit longer before he finally just dropped the pen he was holding. But he stayed silent.
"Forget it…” Robert muttered.
“Maybe…” Aaron sighed.
“What?” Robert asked they’d spoken at the same time.
Aaron looked at him. “Maybe we should say it.”
“Say what?”
“That’s it’s…off the table.”
Robert clenched his jaw and looked away from Aaron. He ended up turning his back to him as he tried to tell himself he deserved how hard that hurt. It felt like something been slammed at his chest, and the mere thought of it made him feel wrong in his skin. Robert gritted his teeth and forced himself to turn around again and face Aaron. When he turned, he saw Aaron had stood up, and he looked a bit uncertain where he stood, but he wasn’t speaking. But he wasn’t taking it back, and his mouth opened a bit like he wanted to speak, but nothing was coming out of it.
“Alright, then… Say it,” Robert said because it was what Aaron wanted. He could voice it out loud. He could make it true, that there was no going back to them — that was real, there was no hope.
Aaron opened his mouth and closed it.
Robert waited.
“I can't…” Aaron sighed.
“Love me?” Robert asked before he stopped himself.
“What? No, Robert, say we’re off the table. I can't…I can’t say that.”
“What? I thought you wanted that…”
“Can you? Do you?” Aaron asked him.
Robert shook his head.
“But…” Aaron winced and sat back down at his desk.
Robert sighed.
“Seb asked me if I still loved you…” Aaron said.
“What did you say?”
“That it was complicated.”
Robert nodded.
“But it isn’t…” Aaron stood up.
“What?”
“Loving you isn’t complicated, it just is Robert.”
“But?”
“It scares me, it always has and it always will…”
Robert nodded.
“And maybe if…”
“If what?”
“If Seb wouldn’t get caught up in the tidal wave…” Aaron said.
Robert nodded.
“I love you, but I don’t know how I can risk you again, Robert.”
“I know,” he said because he did. “I don’t… I’ve never deserved you, and I definitely don’t deserve Seb.”
“No…that’s not. No,” Aaron snapped at him.
“What? It’s true, Aaron.”
“It is not,” Aaron shouted. “Is that..is that what you made you able to do it?”
Robert looked down at his feet and shook his head.
He heard Aaron moving, then he felt him, hovering right in front of him, and then their hands were clasped. He shouldn’t have held Aaron’s hand back, he shouldn’t have let him thread their fingers together, but he allowed it. He let the electricity skate up his arm, the zap he always felt every bloody time Aaron touched him from the first second to the last second.
“Look at me.”
Robert looked up.
“Was that it?” he asked again.
Robert nodded.
“You idiot…” Aaron shook his head. “I knew, I knew it was letting me go because you loved me, I knew you were too stubborn for me to get to – when you were locked away but…”
“But what, you didn’t think I knew I never deserved you?”
“Fuck that,” Aaron snapped. “You do…you deserve whatever you want, Robert. You deserve our little boy, you do.”
“I left him too,” he sniffed. “I walked right away…”
“I was there right after that, I remember you crying out in your sleep, the tears…” Aaron sniffled, and his free hand wiped at his eyes. “You love him like you love me…” He paused. “You do still?”
“Always, Aaron,” Robert breathed. “Don’t know how to stop, and don’t want to learn.”
Aaron sighed.
Robert squeezed Aaron’s hand, felt that zap, and felt dizzy and hopeless. They had to let go. “But it’s not enough, is it?”
“That’s not it…” Aaron shook his head. “You’re enough. Your the only one who is enough…” He laughed. “I tried, more than once, but… I almost married someone, not Tim, but the day came, and I found myself in the garage.”
“Yeah?”
“Us, there, that day… Those vows,” Aaron sighed. “I couldn’t say them to someone else.”
“No?”
“And Tim… He thought he’d change my mind, said he was gonna wear me down…but I was honest. I told him I’d never get married again. I thought I could be with him anyway, that it’d be enough… But that wasn’t fair to him, was it? Especially after, after you and I breathed the same air again.”
“Aaron?”
Aaron squeezed his hand, and his eyes closed. “I don’t know what to do… I know what I want, I just don’t know if it’s right.”
“What?” Robert shook his head. “You can’t…”
“I can’t what?”
“You can’t want me back, Aaron. That’s…”
“What?”
“Stupid… I’m not… I’ll mess it up again, somehow.”
“No,” Aaron shook his head. “We messed it up, Robert.”
“No, I did.”
“I didn’t fight for ya,” Aaron sighed. “I should’ve. I almost did more than once, but…”
“I wouldn’t have let you try.”
“Yeah, and I let that stand. I regret it.”
“Aaron… It was fourteen years, I served most of it… I’m old.”
“You were always old,” Aaron muttered. “And you don’t look it, you look amazing…just some more lines around your eyes, but I always loved the ones already there. And I’m gray.”
“Barely,” Robert whispered, and his free hand hit Aaron’s cheek. Beard stubble against his palm, the perfect scratch, and Aaron’s gray hair was really fine and white, and you’d only notice it if the light hit them just right. "You’re beautiful.“
"Shut up.”
“You are?” Robert smiled.
Aaron looked at him, and their gazes locked. Robert felt rocked by it harder than the first time it happened. Because he felt rocked by Aaron seeing him every single time it happened. He saw Aaron too, and Aaron’s eyes fell to his mouth for a split second, but it was enough…
Robert kissed him, and he felt like he was breathing for the first time in a decade.
~~~
Aaron sighed as Robert’s mouth landed against his own. It wasn’t a kiss, not yet. For a suspended moment, Aaron just felt like he exhaled a breath he’d been holding – for a long time – possibly since he lost Robert. He sighed, and his eyes closed, and the hand that’d taken Robert’s tightened its hold on him before his other landed on Robert’s chest, right over his heart. He felt it beating, wildly against his palm and he sighed again, he felt Robert breath slip right into his mouth and then they were kissing.
They swayed, their bodies crashing together, there was a push, and a pull and their hands let go, only for Robert’s to land behind his neck, thumb in his cheek, like their first kiss and so many that followed. Aaron grabbed at his arms, biceps that felt bigger than he remembered, and he frowned about why – there was only so much to do in prison. He made a sound, at remembering why Robert was gone…
Why he left…
It’d been easy to just focus on him being gone if he thought about the why it broke his heart, it made him miss him, it made him fight himself about allowing the time and space between them.
They’d never fell out of love.
Robert never did anything wrong.
He heard voices in his head that were his mum’s, Paddy’s, Cain’s… Talking about murder, but he shook his head. Because Robert had ended a monster, a real true life monster. He dug his hands into Robert’s arms and allowed himself to fall deeper into the kiss.
It was Robert, he inhaled and smelled him and felt it settle into him and over him, he pulled at him wanting him closer, wanting to feel the heat of his skin and see if remembered what his skin felt like… He was yanking and pulling, he felt himself losing his hi-vis vest, and he was on top of a desk, Jimmy’s he thought idly, but then his eyes fell on freckled skin…
He pulled more buttons apart and ran his hands up Robert’s chest and counted his favorite spray of freckles that were between his nipples. He pressed forward and kissed him there. Robert made a noise, both whimper and moan, and he did it again. Missed him making sounds like that, missed every fucking thing about him.
It overwhelmed him, and he was pulling back and looking up. He was on the desk, and Robert was standing between his legs, he felt large and looming over him. Aaron felt his insides curl, and he realized he was crying, just as Robert’s thumbs caught his tears. He looked at Robert’s face and saw his own chin, wobbling in that way it did, the way Aaron knew Robert hated.
Robert let out a deep shuddering breath, and their foreheads smacked together, Robert curled down over him and Aaron looking up, his legs around his waist – he thought he should move them but he couldn’t. He took a few breathes and tried to find words.
“Aaron?” Robert breathed his name, and it sounded to reverent.
“It’s just me,” he said.
“But it’s not…” Robert whispered. “It’s like you said. We have to consider Seb.”
Aaron nodded.
“I want you…” Robert’s voice was deep. “But I can’t if it’s not going to be…”
“Forever?”
“Yeah?”
“I wish I could make grand promises, I could make them sound believable.”
Aaron laughed.
“I love you, I’ll always love you but…”
“You do, though,” Aaron sighed and moved just enough to lean back, grab Robert’s face and stare at him. “You deserve what you want, you deserve happy Robert.”
“I destroy.”
“Tell Jack to shut up,” Aaron spat.
Robert’s mouth clicked closed.
Aaron sighed, and the guilt ate him. “I let myself pretend you really left me.”
“I did.”
“No. You let me go…” His voice broke. “You loved me, and you let me go… And I let you do it.”
“I thought it was a lifetime, Aaron.”
“But, your home…” Aaron sighed. “And I never, I never found anything close.”
Robert sighed.
“You’ve always said no one comes close…” Aaron sniffed.
“They don’t, no one could…”
“Same, Robert…” Aaron sighed. “Why do you think I broke up with Tim?”
“I didn’t… I didn’t want too…”
“What?”
“Hope?”
Aaron laughed. “It’s scary, it is… You’ve terrified me from the first second I touched ya…”
Robert laughed.
“I shoved you against that wall, remember… Told you right off for being a smug arse.”
“I remember.”
“But I had ya there, against that wall and I just wanted… I wanted ya, Robert, and it scared me. You scare me, I know you, I know what we have…and…” Aaron stared into Robert’s eyes, the color of a tropical ocean, full of tears, and he blinked. Making tears fall from his own eyes, he remembered drowning in a car and knowing he couldn’t live with it if Robert went with him…
But Robert would’ve in a heartbeat.
It was scary.
It wasn’t normal.
But nothing about his life ever was….
“I’m scared,” he whispered.
Robert nodded, and Aaron saw the same fear in his eyes.
“But…”
“Aaron, don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”
“I do, though, don’t I, I always mean it… It’s you. I’ll always choose you.”
Robert smiled. “Aaron?”
“We belong together.”
“But…”
“We risk it,” Aaron lunged forward and kissed him, again and again, and spoke between the press of their lips. “We risk it, for us, for Seb… We won’t be happy apart, it won’t work, Robert, you know it… You know.”
“I know,” Robert whispered into his mouth.
“I love ya,” Aaron smiled.
“Always,” Robert whispered.
“I need ya…” They whispered in unison as they pulled and yanked at the rest of their clothes, remembering how to touch each other just right. Aaron realized he never really forgot the taste of Robert’s skin – it was a craving he’d never been able to sate.
Their intimacy was their own and it blew anything else he’d ever felt out of the water – because no one ever came close despite the lies he told himself. He panted into Robert’s neck and let him hold him as he came apart.
And Robert shook his arms, and he felt tears against his shoulder. He had his fingers in Robert’s hair and into his scalp. “It’s alright.”
“I just… Thought I’d lost you forever.”
“Never.”
Robert breathed. “Might have to prove it a few times,” but he laughed and their eyes locked. Robert winked, and it made a tear fall, Aaron pressed forward and kissed it off his cheek.
“I’ll prove it.”
Robert kissed his forehead, and Aaron felt himself cry. It was relief though and a bit of fear but knew he’d made the right choice. Robert was always his right choice. They fit together too well, they were…
“You’re my soulmate,’ Robert breathed, lips pressing the skin of his forehead again.
"I know,” Aaron whispered, buried his face into Robert’s chest. The only place he’d ever felt complete safety.
“Now what?” Robert asked after a few minutes.
“We get dressed… It’s bloody cold in here.”
Robert laughed, and reluctantly they moved apart and slipped back into their clothes, stealing glances, and Aaron felt younger than he had in years. He felt a bit giddy and grinned, and then he laughed loudly.
“What?”
“Valentine’s Day is one of our anniversaries now.”
Robert scoffed. “Why don’t we just make it all of February.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah…” He smiled.
Aaron knew he meant it too. “Come home? Tonight?”
Robert smiled. “Are you…”
“Of course, I’m sure…” Aaron smiled, and old memory flashed in his mind, of Robert on other February day, pulling two rings out of a wallet.
“Aaron?” Robert protested as Aaron moved out of his reach.
He found the safe and hurried over to it and turned the combination. He looked through the papers and things inside for the specific large blue envelope he’d put them in and found it. He pulled it out and turned toward Robert. “I had to keep them safe.”
“Aaron?”
He opened the envelope and pulled out a watch and two rings.
Robert’s mouth fell open.
“I was going to give this to Seb, like you wanted, on his eighteenth – now you can, and you could…”
“Aaron?” Robert licked his lips.
“I love you,” Aaron said. “I want this…” he stepped forward and took the cheap watch off of Robert’s wrist and snapped their watch back around his wrist where it belonged. Then he grabbed his left hand and held up one of the rings?
Robert nodded.
“Marry me again?” Aaron laughed as he slipped it on his finger.
“God, yes…I love you,” Robert smiled, and he took the other ring from Aaron, took Aaron’s hand and slipped it onto his finger. In that second, Aaron felt himself become whole again.
“Soon,” they both whispered.
They kissed, and Aaron whimpered when Robert broke it.
“We should go tell Seb,” he said.
“Give him a right big head.”
“Say he deserves it… He’s pretty brilliant. One his first schemes, and it’s worked.”
They’d decided that Robert would cook them a romantic intimate meal for Valentines day. He was the better cook out of the two of them, and having a private date night in the Mill felt like a rarity. Robert had been released from prison not too long ago, and they’d got back together very quickly. Life in Emmerdale was almost always hectic and they didn’t always have time for themselves, but today they’d make time. Robert had been very enthusiastic to cook and far be it from Aaron to stop him. He’d missed Robert’s cooking.
When Aaron got home from work he locked the door and switched off his phone. He didn’t want any interruptions tonight because tonight was all about them. Smiling at Robert, he reached for Robert’s phone in the back pocket of his jeans, and Robert raised his eyebrows. “A bit early in the night to feel me up isn’t it?” he teased.
“I don’t want any interruptions,” Aaron said. “We have enough of them. If there’s a knock on the door tonight we’re ignoring it.”
Robert laughed. “Fine with me. I hope you like this, I’m a bit out of practise.”
“I’ve missed you in the kitchen,” Aaron said and Robert looked hopeful. “I’ve missed all of you.” Robert smiled and leaned over, kissing Aaron softly.
“Make yourself useful and pour the red wine,” Robert said. Aaron did just that.
The meal was delicious, Robert certainly hadn’t lost his touch. But the thing that got Aaron was the way Robert was looking at him. The tension around the table was almost palpable, plus Robert’s bloody smirk. While Robert had been staying at the Mill for a few weeks now, they hadn’t had sex. After his prison stint, they hadn’t been able to slip right back into old habits, they’d both changed and it hadn’t been as easy as maybe they’d both hoped. But the way Robert was looking at him now? God, Aaron wanted him badly. Especially with the way Robert’s fingers traced the wine glass, and he knew what he was doing, the bastard.
Aaron didn’t say anything but he flicked his eyes upstairs and Robert’s smirk turned into a full out grin.
x
Aaron couldn’t sleep after sex. Robert had crashed out and Aaron simply looked at him. God, he was beautiful. That wasn’t often a word he thought of when he thought about Robert but it was true. The tips of his blond eyelashes, the freckles across his nose, almost making him look tanned until you got close up. Right now he couldn’t see his blue green eyes, but they were gorgeous too.
“What’s up?” Robert said, still keeping his eyes closed.
“I thought you were asleep,” Aaron said.
“Your staring woke me up,” Robert said, looking at him. “What is it?”
“I was just… thinking,” Aaron said. “About you.”
“Don’t tell me that wasn’t as good as before,” Robert said with false confidence, his arm snaking around Aaron’s waist. “I’ve got a memory and we’ve still got it.”
Aaron rolled his eyes. “No, it was good,” Aaron said quietly. “I wanted to look at you. I haven’t been able to for a while and I missed you. So much, Robert.” Aaron’s voice shook just a little and Robert pulled him close.
“You’ve got no idea,” Robert said. “I really thought… hoped I was doing what was best for you.”
“It wasn’t,” Aaron said.
“I know that now,” Robert said. “Come here.” Aaron allowed himself to be held, pressed tight against Robert’s chest. “We’re here now, that’s what matters.”
In the morning Aaron made breakfast in bed. Robert’s smile when he brought up the tray was worth getting up early. Robert almost nuzzled into his neck, kissing the skin there. “I’ve got a present for you,” Aaron said.
“What? We weren’t doing gifts, we agreed Robert said in shock.
“I know,” Aaron said. “But this is for both of us and I wanted to. It’s not new.” Aaron reached into his bedside table and grabbed the box, quickly opening it up. Robert’s heart stopped when he saw their wedding rings.
“Are they the same ones?” he asked quietly.
“Yeah.” Robert felt overcome with emotion that he couldn’t explain. So much time had passed, so much had happened since they’d first put these rings on. They were almost entirely different people now, but the rings remained.
“I’m not saying…” Aaron started. “I’m not saying we can get back to where we were before you went to prison, but I do want to be committed to you. I don’t know, if you don’t want to, I get it and that’s fine…” Robert shut him up by kissing him, gently brushing their lips together. Aaron smiled when they parted.
“I like that idea,” Robert said. “A lot.” They beamed as they slipped the rings on each others hands and Aaron kissed him again.
“Breakfast,” Aaron said, looking at the abandoned breakfast tray.
“I love you,” Robert said. “After everything… I never stopped.”
“I love you too,” Aaron said. “Let me know if my bacon sandwiches are still up to scratch.” Robert smiled and relaxed. He was finally home.
