tyguns.
“ You know those things run pretty fast, you saw them yourself. I’m telling you, it was there. Fully loaded, hunger in it’s eyes and suction cups“ Josh’s face fell smug, obviously humored how truly gullible Russ was. “ You miss things not having super human senses.— Spiderman was just a little too quick. “A little white lie was worth getting to see Russ when he was cross. He did an awfully precious pout.
‘ Wolf who cried octopus spider with a machine gun ‘ rang through his ears, breaking into a hard chuckle. That wasn’t a sentence he was ever expecting to hear. — Ever.
Josh lifted a hand, pinching lightly at Russ’ cheek, giving them a little tug. “ Don’t worry about it though, this furry son of a bitch will protect the little baby man. “ his voice overtime turning into a mocking childish tone, lips puffing out as he teased. The teasing of course, with good intent. As always.
russ absolutely hates the fact that as josh goes on, he can’t stop picturing it behind him ; his own gaze becomes blank as he stares into the distance and shakes his head, brain attempting to come up with a rebuttal but his lips part only to close again. “ okay -- you know what? double fuck you for soiling spiderman’s good name. that thing is an abomination. spidey’s a good guy. also, why the fuck does it have a gun, anyways? it just body slams the fuck out of you, and then it wants a gun? like, shit, just crush all the bones in my body, don’t shoot me too?” at no point does his gaze return from the abyss -- genuinely, he can’t properly eject the thought of the anti-christ itself lurking in the halls of his boyfriend’s home despite all common sense.
his attention snaps finally back to reality at the pinch of his cheek and in immediate response, russ puffs his cheeks out, smacks lightly at his hand, and furrows his brow. “ my knight in shining armor -- though, i’m not sure how effective claws are against, like... guns...” he muses, leaning now into the other’s side and inadvertently propping himself under his arm ; their natural state, really. “also, F-Y-I, i bet one day i’m gonna like, fall in a pool of toxic waste and become a superhero and you’re totally gonna regret pinching this little baby man’s cheeks. i’m gonna be a beefcake one day -- the only cheeks you’ll have left to pinch won’t be on my face.”