ALIVE AGAIN

ryder lynn what's up people from the inter-k-net? the name's ryder - just ryder, but if you can come up with a creative nickname i'm all ears, i live in queens and i'm a freshman in st. jude's (yeah that super expensive all-boys school in manhattan), if you're looking for a rich dude, you're in the wrong page.

[finnbreezy]

Alright alright alright? You’re not McConaughey. I had to Google his name. That’s impossible to spell. I mean. You don’t have to adore me, but you do. Are you gonna dress up as me for Halloween? You gotta get the hair right. Poor short people.  Everyone’s a short person to me though.

I’d do anything for you, bro. Even robo Ryder. I don’t know about a robot girlfriend either. Might get kind of boring after a while. Yeah, dude. Forever’s like… Forever. It’s all the time. 

[rocknryder-blog]

How cool is he, though? I wish I could be like... McCoun-- that dude. My browser thinks his name is a typo man, that’s kind of effed up. Okay, I don’t have to adore you, it’s not mandatory right? Because that would make me adore you a little less. Nah not really, I was thinking Dr. Evil and Mini Me. Except me, right? 

The good thing about robot girlfriends is that they don’t age, right? But honestly, a girlfriendbot uprising would be a thousand times more terrifying than a babybot uprising.

[once-upon-a-lyric-blog]

Good idea. His head is already kinda big.

REALLY?! Wow… I’ve never had anyone offer to help before. You don’t think it’s a dumb idea?

[rocknryder-blog]

In his defense he is a big dude, y’know? If his head weren’t big he’d be super weird looking.

Of course not, it’s science right. And science isn’t a bad idea. Unless you’re messing around with Gamma rays and stuff like that, we don’t want any mutants destroying the streets of Manhattan. 

[whambamcam]

Who’s we?

[rocknryder-blog]

You know, all of us. The resistance. The ones who fight the bots.

[blainesdescent-deactivated20171]

I can’t risk getting on a guy’s bad side and having him roll up to the gym with his entire biker gang. The last thing I need is a dent in my jaw. My face is too pretty to be damaged.

[rocknryder-blog]

Wouldn’t wanna flush all those moisturizing routines down the toilet by getting into a fist fight either, right?

I’d say just keep on belting out man, sooner or later they’ll realize you don’t give two craps about what they think and that will earn you some respect, no doubt.

[rocknryder-blog]

constantlykitty:

Good. Then maybe I can resist my urge to rip out your Bieber wig.

Did you just call me ‘dude’?

I’d love to see you try. I used superglue to make sure it never falls off.

Uh, yeah pretty sure I did. Gotta throw that word in every other sentence, nothing personal. I know you’re no dude.

[finnbreezy]

Thank God. My heart was broken for a second there. You’re like mini-Finn, you have to adore me. You can still punch my cheeks and give me more candy than everybody else though. You don’t have to be a grandma. Isn’t it sad? Short people. Their lives. How do they even live?

You’d be my favorite robot, dude. I’d take you everywhere. I’d even find somebody smart to build you a robot girlfriend, so you wouldn’t have to be alone forever.

[rocknryder-blog]

Alright alright alright, hold up bro. I have to? If that’s the way it is then I’m not sure how I’m digging this mini-Finn deal. Not gonna lie though, that made me think of a kick ass bro costume for Halloween this year. Asking people to hand them stuff and bumping into the back of our knees. That’s how they live. It makes me super sad too, man.

That is the nicest think anyone’s done for robo-me, man. Hypothetically speaking of course. I don’t know how I feel about the robot girlfriend though, sounds like a drag. Forever is a long time.

[once-upon-a-lyric-blog]

There’s a river named after Finn? Man… maybe he is a king… o.o

I might have to get back to work on my time machine this summer.

[rocknryder-blog]

Yes, Britt. There is in fact a river named after Finn. Just don’t tell him about it ‘cause we don’t want it to go to his head.

If you need any help with that, I’m your guy. I love building stuff. Especially if we can use that stuff to save the human race from doom.

[madisonmanhattan]

Whaaaaat? Educate yourself immediately!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D-UmfqFjpl0

If a ball is too big for your mouth… it’s not yours.

[rocknryder-blog]

That was so... out of this world. I’m in awe.

[finnbreezy]

Why do you have to be a grandma to adore me, Ryder? You don’t adore me now? I’m hurt. We’re definitely not cutting my legs off. I need those. I could never be a short person. Not being able to reach stuff would annoy me.

I guess, if you were like the bicentennial man then I wouldn’t deprogram you. Maybe. I’d have to make sure you were one of the good robots.

[rocknryder-blog]

Of course I adore you now, Finny. But if I were a gradma I’d, like, pinch your cheeks and give you more candy than the rest of the kids and stuff like that. Ya feel? Dude I feel the same way, whenever I see vertically challenged people my heart breaks a little.

I’m just saying, I’d be a pretty loyal robot. Like C-3PO except I’d have awesome artificial hair and wouldn’t understand as many languages.

[jakepthemegastud-blog]

Dude, that means you’re gonna be there, right?

[rocknryder-blog]

Wouldn’t miss it for the world, man. We gotta celebrate the end of the babybot era.

[blainesdescent-deactivated20171]

Not gonna lie, his new album is straight fire. Still, can’t help but doubt that rockin’ out to “Love Yourself” would earn me the props of the dudes in there with tatt sleeves.

[rocknryder-blog]

One thing I’ve learned is that you should never judge a book by its cover. What if one of those tatted bros is a hardcore Bieber fan. Of course there’s also a big chance that they’ll beat the crap out of you but, you’ll never know unless you try.

[blainesdescent-deactivated20171]

Don’t appreciate the sideways glances in the men’s locker room at the gym. If you’ve got a problem with me singing in the showers, man, I dunno what to tell you. Same goes for my moisturizing routine. Nobody digs sandpaper hands. Let me live.

[rocknryder-blog]

Belt out some of the new Biebs’ music and they’ll totally respect you, man.

[jakepthemegastud-blog]

As awesome as this whole robo-baby project has been, I’m gonna be real happy when it’s over. I haven’t even been to a real party all month and I am not okay with that. Which means that the first weekend in March- party in the Heights!

[rocknryder-blog]

That’s why you and I get along so well, my man. You’re living in the right state of mind.

[constantlykitty]

Oh, no. You don’t get to use that phrase. It’s overused enough as it is, and this is a damn fact so none of that.

Geez Louise, I was just kidding. The Lord knows how Al Gore got my motor running with his inconvenient truth. I’m all about the ice caps, or whatever.

[rocknryder-blog]

I’m resisting the urge to use it again.

Al Gore and his pro-green movie scared the living crap out of me, dude. 

[madisonmanhattan]

It is a gift, isn’t it? Maybe I should write a book of wisdoms. Like the wisdom dog. It was a good wisdom. 

[rocknryder-blog]

Sure. But what the heck is the wisdom dog?

[finnbreezy]

She sounds adorable. Grandmas love me. Plus, meatloaf is freaking delicious, dude. I gotta save her for the meatloaf. You’re right. I don’t want somebody getting their brains eaten over me. A zombie love triangle is a big no.

The Bi-centennial man? But like there’s only one of those and it was Robin Williams. The rest of the robots are probably like the ones from iRobot. The ones Will Smith had to save the world from.

[rocknryder-blog]

She is adorable. And I’m sure they do bro, if I were a grandma I’d totally adore you. That was my point from the very start, so we gotta work on your camouflage and shit so you can sneak around and not get eaten by those monsters without having to cut off your legs and make you look shorter.

Good point. But what if I was like the bicentennial man? You’d be deprogramming an innocent bot.

[kurtsnyc-blog]

No, everyone’s tastes are just different.

Not everyone drops what they’re doing for the entire day for some silly game. Plenty of people hate the football aspect of the day and just watch for the commercials. Or the half-time show. Or just watch to get to spent time with their families. Also, Beyonce performs in front of all kinds of crowds all the time– the interests of which vary. But do you really think most of her fans don’t care about things like that?

[rocknryder-blog]

Right. Some people have awesome tastes and other people don’t.

What about all the people that do care about football, though? I’d say it’s a pretty big number. And yeah sure, Beyonce doesn’t discriminate when it comes to performing in front of different audiences but my point is, who cares about gladiator sandals?