ro 𖤐

❝ xo till we overdose ❞ sideblog for jirai things

[rocorpse]

𖤐ㅤronin/ro. 23. he/it. intp. pan. taken. mdni.

𖤐ㅤthere will be mentions of/posts about: self-harm, eds, depression, suicidal ideation, and mental illness posting. i spam a lot when i'm going through episodes, so keep that in mind.

𖤐ㅤdni/dnf if: you're a minor, a "darling", a zionist/racist in any form, lgbtqia+phobic, an ableist, and/or an unlabeled paraphile (zoos and preds can/should kill themselves :D). especially don't follow if you're not okay with mental illness lmao. i don't condone anything i post about, so don't do what i do, or whatever.

𖤐ㅤcreds: dmmd, slow damage

[rocorpse]

my biggest fear is that you tolerate talking to me some days because you know it'll be enough to satiate my neediness for when you disappear again. the amount of times we've talked for hours just for you to hardly speak to me the following day.. it scares me that i'm too much. that you don't actually love me, but keeo me around as a shitty form of entertainment. then i feel bad for thinking you'd be that cruel, but i can't help the thoughts that run through my head.

[rocorpse]

it's just me alone with my thoughts, forever and always.

[rocorpse]

god, i hate being left alone. my brain always acts up.

[rocorpse]

love wanting to kill myself over small things. it's not exhausting at all. actually so blehhh. feeling so miserable

[rocorpse]

so tired. i should just call it a day and kms.

[rocorpse]

but what if i'm just a stepping stone? what if i help you get into a better place, just for you to leave me?

[rocorpse]

how do normal people not want to kill themselves for no reason?

[rocorpse]

i hate mental bullshit so much. feeling like shit for no fucking reason is stupid

[rocorpse]

doing things with people, yet actively want to die. was fine before, too. laughing and shit. i don't know what the fuck is wrong with me

[rocorpse]

not eating much is taking its toll on me. i can't even drink a couple sips of vodka without my head feeling stupid

[rocorpse]

you don't secretly hate me, right?

you don't find me annoying or hard to be around?

you actually like me? like talking to me?

i'm not some stupid parasite you keep around for entertainment? something you know will give you love and attention when you desire it?

[rocorpse]

beginning to realise i feel suicidal at the same time every night. will that make me sleep sooner? prob not

[rocorpse]

i'm a ctually so stable, thank you. like, so incredibly fucking stable. totally not one actiona away from turning an intrusive thought into something uimpulsive

[rocorpse]

like i dont want to actually slit my arms open over and over and over and over and over and over again. but i do. i do but i dont. i dont byt i do. it would be so relieving but i dont actuallh want to do that

[rocorpse]

i'm a ctually so stable, thank you. like, so incredibly fucking stable. totally not one actiona away from turning an intrusive thought into something uimpulsive

[rocorpse]

think i need to do something extreme to get out of this fucking spiral

[rocorpse]

want to drink so bad and just go out alone. empty places. nobody. just me.