A wanderer who's constantly lost. @rofflow - Tumblr Blog

You still have me fucked up

My feelings for you are a maze without a logical end, only beginnings around each corner. The hedges weave themselves into my body, running laps around each cell, altering their chemistry until they are only reflections of you. My longing for us aches in a waiting room of fleeting moments, enabling reality to take a backseat to fantasy.

Each reunion emphasizes your lingering absence. As I wander down each corridor of our labyrinth, I imagine who we could be to one another. What you would feel, how you would respond, what turn we would take next, never arriving at an exit.

I’d ruin my life to occupy a corner of your mind.

#personal

I’m engaged!!!!! Isn’t that absolutely wild? 10 years ago, I really thought I’d probably die alone and I was fine with it. I love spending time alone, and I generally don’t like others enough to want to share a life with them. Then David came along and it felt like hanging out together was the most natural activity. It’s as if I’ll be marrying a childhood playmate with all the adventure, wonder, and joy of innocence. I’m so excited to say “I do” to my forever friend.

In other news, I decided to leave the mushroom business due to burnout, and our friend circles have changed drastically.

I’m excited to have a new group of close friends and just generally I’m pretty content with my life.

#personal

nobrashfestivity

Džemail Silajdžić

4yuel

Green tiles

teathattast

elodieunderglass

Inheritance

I’m incredibly frustrated with the fact that a friend won’t participate in my life or allow me to be a part of there’s because their partner hates me. I hate that it bothers me. I hate that I feel hurt. I’m so angry that they have this much of a hold on my emotional state of being. But I can’t help it, I wish he cared about me more. Enough to keep me in his day to day. It goes back to what Ben used to say… he’s had every day to choose you and he hasn’t. Time to move on.

#personal

stars-bean

Groundhog Day (1993) dir. Harold Ramis

This is by far the saddest new year of my life. Sitting in a dark hotel room, hungry as a result of selfish friends, in a foreign country during a worldwide pandemic with a partner who feels sick. I think next year I should book myself my own cottage retreat and just spend it by myself. At least if I’m alone, there is no one to disappoint me.

#personal

Today is the last day of 2021, and what a year it’s been. I can’t believe this year even happened as it finished in a flash. So much happened and it’s incredible to think it’s only been 12 months - feels more like 3. David and I bought our first home together and an engagement is inching closer! I left GI and started a mushroom business with Erin and it’s going incredibly well. My mom joined a cult and it feels like I’m losing her right in front of my eyes. Niel’s business is on pause until open banking enters Canada and he’s looking towards creating a new company or rather, taking over an existing one. Also, I feel the urge to give an update on Peter but he’s also not really relevant to my story anymore so I won’t. I’m currently sitting in a laundromat, overseeing the washing of clothes for ZErin and David and I.

#personal