is that what demons do?

Text: Rory

Mason: okay. I love you Rory. I’ll try and talk something out with Bailey. But can you keep loving me knowing that I love both of you? Can you do that?

Rory: it's not like I can just stop loving you Mason. It doesn't work like that. Of course I'm going to love you. It just hurts. I finally let myself feel something and it's the most complicated thing ever.

Text: Rory

Rory: I just wish I could have helped. Been there to do whatever you needed and stopped you. The idea that I could have lost you that day terrifies me. I thought you weren’t going to wake up. And now I can’t help but think maybe bailey was what you needed all along and I know you say you love me and I believe you but Rory: I don’t want you feeling guilty for being depressed or loving somebody else but at the end of the day, the only person im thinking about is you. And I don’t know what to do with that at this point.

Mason: in a way, you aren’t wrong about Bailey being what I needed. But ive known him a long time and I could never hide something like depression or a suicidal inclination from him like I could with you. And that’s not your fault, it’s just something that comes with knowing someone so many years. I’m so sorry that I have put you in this situation Rory. I do, truly, love you both so much baby. So much that I can’t fully be with either of you because I’m to selfish to let one of you go. But if you feel like you can’t be with me like this I understand, and it would break my heart but I would never blame you. I just need to know where we’re standing now.

Rory: that's the problem Mason. I don't know where we stand and I don't know where we need to stand because I don't know where Bailey is standing. If you were to ask me what I want? It's you. Us. But I know it's not that easy and that just leaves me as lost as you are.

Text: Rory

Rory: I just wish I could have helped. Been there to do whatever you needed and stopped you. The idea that I could have lost you that day terrifies me. I thought you weren't going to wake up. And now I can't help but think maybe bailey was what you needed all along and I know you say you love me and I believe you but Rory: I don't want you feeling guilty for being depressed or loving somebody else but at the end of the day, the only person im thinking about is you. And I don't know what to do with that at this point.

Text: Rory

Mason: okay. Why are you having such a hard time touching me Ro? I mean I’m trying really hard not to be that asshole that doubts you or your feelings but I’m starting to take it personally.

Rory: I’m going to explain this the best I can and I need you to promise you aren’t going to take things offensively or get angry and upset with me. Or do something stupid afterwards.

Mason: that’s ominous and it makes it hard to promise but I’ll do my very best.

#tw: sucide mention #tw: self harm

Rory: Mason, when you got into your wreck, I was the first one at the hospital, so even though I didn't get the full "emergency contact" treatment, I was there, from start to finish, talking to doctors and nurses the entire time, and they basically asked me a series of questions that indicated you tried to do this on purpose. I'm not angry at you for that, please understand that. But I haven't been handling it well for a lot of reasons, and Bailey indirectly confirmed it the other day which only made things worse. Rory: I have NEVER been in a real relationship, mace. You know that. But if there's one person in this world I could see myself changing that for, it's you. And to know that you have been so depressed or lonely or broken that you would try to kill yourself, and I didn't even notice... It breaks my heart. It makes me feel like the shittiest person ever and it makes me wonder if I was just that oblivious or if you didn't want me to know. Rory: and it sparked a lot of issues I've dealt with over the years. Some you know about, some you don't. I started cutting again and I know you don't want to hear that but I didn't know how else to handle it and after the other stuff started happening too I knew I couldn't stop. And I feel like if I fall back into you, something like this could happen again, and if it did or something happened to you, I honestly think it'd be the end for me. I love you so much, and I'm terrified of that. I'm terrified because I know I can't compare to Bailey, and I'm terrified because im not girlfriend material, and I'm terrified because there's this thought in the back of my head that I'm going to fall too deep and wake up one day and be alone, either because you settled on somebody better or because you're not around at all and I don't know how to handle either of those and I know the minute I kiss you or touch you, it's game over. I won't have a say anymore and I know I should have told you all of this instead of bottling it up but I didn't know how and I'm so so sorry because I really do love you.

Text: Rory

Mason: okay. Why are you having such a hard time touching me Ro? I mean I’m trying really hard not to be that asshole that doubts you or your feelings but I’m starting to take it personally.

Rory: I'm going to explain this the best I can and I need you to promise you aren't going to take things offensively or get angry and upset with me. Or do something stupid afterwards.

Text: Rory

Mason: so now that I’m almost totally recovered, are we going to talk about the fact the fact that you’ll barely kiss me or?

Mason: just wondering

@rojomitchell

Rory: don’t do this. It’s not like that.

Mason: I’m not doing anything, I’m not fighting with you or anything I just wondered if we were going to talk about it

Rory: I guess we could talk about it.

Text: Rory

Mason: so now that I’m almost totally recovered, are we going to talk about the fact the fact that you’ll barely kiss me or?

Mason: just wondering

@rojomitchell

Rory: don't do this. It's not like that.

Text: Roar-y 🦁

Kaelyn: Thank you for everything yesterday…

@rojomitchell

Rory: No problem. Are you feeling any better today?

Kaelyn: not really if we’re being honest….I just want to know… Kaelyn: and I haven’t talked to Eugene since he left my place the other day either because I’m afraid to.

Rory: don't say anything until we go to the clinic. It's better to have an answer than scare him too, don't you think?

Text: Roar-y 🦁

Kaelyn: Thank you for everything yesterday…

@rojomitchell

Rory: No problem. Are you feeling any better today?

“I’d tell him either way. So he can be more careful too and know that you went through this whole ordeal because neither of you could grab a condom first.” She hated playing Mom, she knew she wasn’t any good at it. “We’ll know for sure Monday.” She promised. “I can stay here until then if you want, or you can stay with me.”

“How am I supposed to tell him when i can’t even say the words myself.” She murmured, looking down at her hands. “How could I be so stupid.” She felt her eyes welling up with the tears that up until this point she’d kept at bay. “I can’t stay over there with you….Eugene will know something’s up…or Mason..both of them might get suspicious.” She sniffled a little

"I'll stay here then." She decided, resting her hand on Kaelyn's shoulder. "Hey," she said softly, trying to calm her down. "You're not stupid. This kind of thing happens all the time. It's nobody's fault." She sighed. "I know this is huge, but.. It's not the end of the world. you're going to be okay. You and Gene both."

Rory sucked in a breath as she looked over the tests. “It’s not that bad,” she pointed out. “That’s better than two positives.” She knew joking wasn’t helping but maybe it would lighten to mood. “Doctors at closed until Monday, but we’ll go early in the morning and have you take a real test. Those are always accurate.” She decided, trying to calm her down.

Kaelyn shot a look at Rory when she tried to joke about it not being two positives. “What am I supposed to say to Eugene though? If it’s positive obviously I have to tell him but if it’s not…..can I just pretend it never happened” She ran her hands over her face.

"I'd tell him either way. So he can be more careful too and know that you went through this whole ordeal because neither of you could grab a condom first." She hated playing Mom, she knew she wasn't any good at it. "We'll know for sure Monday." She promised. "I can stay here until then if you want, or you can stay with me."

karazrel

Rory waited outside the door, giving her friend the time she needed to review the tests. This way, Kaelyn had time to process whatever answer she received. “Kae?” She called in, peeking past the door. “What’s it say?”

“You tell me” She shook her head, holding both tests out for Rory to see for herself. “I must’ve done something pretty fucked up that all the deities have it out for me right now” She looked up at the ceiling and closed her eyes for a minute.

Rory sucked in a breath as she looked over the tests. "It's not that bad," she pointed out. "That's better than two positives." She knew joking wasn't helping but maybe it would lighten to mood. "Doctors at closed until Monday, but we'll go early in the morning and have you take a real test. Those are always accurate." She decided, trying to calm her down.

“This isn’t about you and Eugene, Kaelyn.” Rory reminded her. “This is about you. You can’t be scared because of how he might take it. You can’t control that. What you can control is how you handle this though. If you’re pregnant, we’ll figure it out. I’ll help you. And if Eugene is half the guy I know he is, I know he will too. You’ll figure it out.” She promised. “And if you’re not, you just be more careful from now on.” She sighed.

Kaelyn crossed her arms over her chest and continued to pace back and forth as she waited for the timer to go off. When it did she paused in her pacing, looking over at Rory and taking a shaky breath before ducking back into the bathroom, picking up the first test and sitting on the edge of the bathtub before looking down at it. Positive. A little pink cross displaying. “Shit.” She mumbled before reaching for the second one, needing to know for sure. With shaky hands she lifted it and looked at it. Negative. “Fucking hell” She let out a humorless bark of a laugh

Rory waited outside the door, giving her friend the time she needed to review the tests. This way, Kaelyn had time to process whatever answer she received. "Kae?" She called in, peeking past the door. "What's it say?"

“It only takes one time, Kae.” Rory reminded her, though her voice was soft and careful, not wanting to upset her further. “We don’t know anything until you take the tests, anyways.” She encouraged. Leaning against the wall as her best friend disappeared behind the bathroom door, she set a three minute timer on her phone once she returned. “Just breathe, okay?” She asked softly.

“What if I am….things were just getting back to normal with Eugene.” She ran her hands through her hair and looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t know how to take care of a baby. My sister and I were raised by nannies for christs sake.” She walked back and forth in the living room. “He’s not even sure if he’s ready to move in with me and now this?” She threw her hands up in exasperation.

"This isn't about you and Eugene, Kaelyn." Rory reminded her. "This is about you. You can't be scared because of how he might take it. You can't control that. What you can control is how you handle this though. If you're pregnant, we'll figure it out. I'll help you. And if Eugene is half the guy I know he is, I know he will too. You'll figure it out." She promised. "And if you're not, you just be more careful from now on." She sighed.

Rory shook her head, almost violently, before heading to the kitchen in search of some kind of cup they could throw away after wards. “No, I was in and out. Besides, if anybody saw me, they’d think they’re for me. And that’s about fucking impossible.” She sighed. Truth be told, she hadn’t exactly slept with anybody since before Mason’s wreck. Finding a red solo cup under the counter, Rory brought it back for Kaelyn. “It’s gonna be fine, no matter what, okay?” She reminded her. “We’ll figure it out.”

“How could I let this happen? I’m normally so careful” She shook her head, letting out a shaky sigh as she took the cup from Rory. “It was only a few times that we didn’t use anything….” She chewed her lip and shut the door behind her so she could use the bathroom and set the tests up. “Okay…three minutes” She said softly as she walked out of the bathroom, both tests set up on the counter of the sink.