❝ I don’t kiss and tell. ❞
❝ Why is your penis on a dead girl’s phone?❞
❝ We are so, so screwed. ❞
❝ Smile or go to jail. ❞
❝ And you call me immature? I’m the most grown up grown up ever compared to your dumbass.❞
❝ See, sexting pays off. ❞
❝ Someone woke up in a mood to fight this morning.❞
❝ Whatever it takes, isn’t that what you said? ❞
❝ Wow, someone has daddy issues? ❞
❝ You should have worn a condom. ❞
❝ Bitches be crazy. ❞
❝ You call it crazy, I call it winning. ❞
❝ I can’t sleep without having nightmares. I’m scared I might be going crazy. ❞
❝ Thank god I don’t have a gun or I’d shoot her myself. ❞
❝ Let the slut shaming begin. ❞
❝ Get me some chocolate chip cookies. I hate all this healthy food! ❞
❝ Shouldn’t I be getting some credit for trying to be a good person? ❞
❝ You said you wanted to know me. Even the bad things. ❞
❝ We’re bad people. That’s the only thing we have in common. ❞
❝ You taste like my sauce. ❞
❝ Men lie, that’s all they’re good at. ❞
❝ Honestly? I’ve got like six guys on my jock right now. I need to focus. ❞
❝ Seriously, just because my facial hair isn’t as luscious as yours, doesn’t mean I still can’t kick your ass. ❞
❝ I don’t do boyfriends. ❞
❝ You’re a misogynistic ass. ❞
❝ I think about you all the time. It’s freakin’ annoying. ❞
❝ Keep lying that good and you might actually get away with this. ❞
❝ Afraid we’ll kiss again if we’re too close? ❞
❝ Like I’d ever want to screw you. ❞
❝ What’s next? We change our relationship status on Facebook? ❞
❝ No woman wants to be on the receiving side of that. ❞
❝ I’m so freakin’ mad I wasn’t born gay! ❞
❝ But here’s the thing: I love me. ❞
❝ This could take a while, wanna sneak upstairs? ❞
❝ I look nice, I know, but that’s just my face. ❞
❝ This works on women as well as men. ❞