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That face when someone says that ‘arts is the new meta’.

Whatever that means.

And then suddenly you’re grailed to 120 outta nowhere. Randy Orton would be proud.

#[Servant: Skadi]#quality shitposting

tsukeyakiba:

[Yuu raises his eyebrows. Well, there are some glasses-wearing Servants, so it shouldn’t be a huge surprise.]

Lookin’ for a town, it is! There’s gotta be a village or maybe a cottage around here somewhere.

[Emboldened by Xiang Yu’s initiative, Yuu heads west and comes across a lake.]

Hmm. Hey, do you think Graham can swim? Maybe there’s somebody on the other side of this.

“If swimming is the only method of traversal available, then it can be attempted at least.”

He awaits the results.

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Actually, there is! Hold on one sec.

[Yuu reaches back into the trash can, disrespects time and space, and pulls out the player’s manual for King’s Quest I. He holds it out for Xiang Yu to take.]

It doesn’t give you straight-up answers or anything, but it provides us with the basics. There’s also some really neat illustrations in there!

A lot of the fun in these games is getting creative with it, too. We might not be able to break the rock, but I bet there’s lots of stuff we can do later on.

He dons his reading glasses(??) and peruses the manual.

“It would seem that more materials are necessary. If there is a town nearby perhaps it can be acquired there.”

“A myriad of options may be condensed down into a select few once the parameters are more well known.”

“Such is the way of things.”

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Break the rock it is! Okay, then…

[Yuu types in break rock. The game tells him that he ”can’t do that–at least not yet!”]

Shoot. I guess we’d need a weapon or something to break it. We are just one guy, after all…

How about pushing? Graham’s got two hands and a strong back, he could probably do that much.

“It is difficult to ascertain what is possible. Is there no hammer to help break the rock? No lever or pry with which to help move it? Is the rock too large to feasibly navigate around? Or climb over?”

He fires questions off like a 3 year old being told ‘no’, although at least he hasn’t just started asking ‘why’ yet.

“Surely there are conditions written in for such considerations....?”

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Ohhh, good point! I guess it does make sense, when you think about it like that. And heck, it gives us a goal to strive for, right?

[Yuu plays through for a bit, showing off the graphical prowess of the 1980s.]

So see, for text-based adventures, you gotta type in commands. You can only do so much, but it’s still pretty innovative. They expand on it a little more in the next few games, too.

[In the game, he comes upon a rock. Yuu looks back and up at Xiang Yu.]

Whatcha wanna do with this rock? Think we’re strong enough to bust it up or knock it around?

“Current baseline parameters are unknown. Attempting to break the rock may give information as to what the capabilities of the avatar entail.”

He watches the screen. Seemingly trying to anticipate what will happen upon the attempt.

It’s hard to tell, but his brow seems furrowed.

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Okay, good! There’s no problem there, then.

[Now all he needs is to reach into the garbage and rifle around through dimensions until he pulls out his laptop. Yuu flips it open and goes about pulling up the first game.]

That’s pretty close! The first in the series is about this knight named Graham, who serves the kingdom of Daventry. The king, King Edward, tasks him–which would be us, since Graham’s the player character–to find three treasures that are hidden all over the land. If we can find them all, the kingdom will prosper again and we’ll be crowned king!

I mean, I don’t think that’s how it works, but…

“Rulers, to clarify the ruling class rather than the Ruler class of servant, often have strange proclivities. Perhaps such things simply are part-and-parcel with leadership.”

Unh ... you counting yourself in that there, Little Conqueror of Western Chu?

He watches you play this for a while.

It becomes apparent that he’s utterly baffled by the ‘logic’ of the game world.

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

O-Oh, yeah, that’s right. Sorry, I just… I dunno… if you were curious about… a-anyway!

[He clears his throat to try and calm himself down. It’s fine, Yuu, he’s not going to judge you for being silly.]

How about King’s Quest, then? It’s a little more involved than Mario or Donkey Kong, but it might be a more interesting opener for you! I’ve been getting pretty into it lately, so–

Oh, uh, can you read English?

“I can understand English, yes. I have memorized a great deal of different languages since arriving, in an effort to ensure that I can understand various other peoples if the need arises.”

“Given the nature of the title, please elaborate. Is this a quest upon which royalty has embarked, or a quest to become said regent?”

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Yeah, that makes sense. Honestly, it’s a pleasant surprise whenever I hear about Servants or displaced historical figures enjoying a good video game…

But we could totally do that! If you’ve never played one before, I could pull up a classic game for us to play? There’s all sorts of different types, even in older games. Even if it’s just a one-player game, it’s fun just watching along, too.

Since you know about them, is there a particular type of game that might appeal to you? There’s stuff like King’s Quest, or some classic Bintendo titles like Mario and Donkey Kong…

[… why is it just the company name that’s different? Yuu’s timeline is weird.]

“I have no personal preference. I am not averse to any genre or type, as I have no experience in any.”

“If you wish to begin with something that you enjoy, then that would be acceptable.”

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Cool, cool.

……………..

[Yuu stares right back at him. Oh, shit, should he suggest an activity? He’s been getting better at the whole social thing, but he’s still pretty awkward, himself. What activity would be enjoyable for all ages and types…?]

You, uh…

Do you like video games?

“Although I am familiar with computerized entertainment software, I have not actively engaged in such. Or rather, I have not hitherto-fore played a video game.”

“Is such an activity that which you wish to partake in?”

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Ah, right… I hope she’s doing all right. When she gets back, I should bring her a fruit basket or something… or maybe a bunch of chips and booze. Depending on how it goes.

[Yuu blinks, absorbing Xiang Yu’s wordy question. Lucky for him, Yuu is a wordy little man by trade, so he gets the gist.]

Hmm. That’s the ultimate question, isn’t it… I came over here not really thinking about what I wanted. Let’s see…

…

Do you wanna hang out? I know you don’t have much of a concept of pleasure visits, but there’s no harm in indulging a little, right?

“A gift of good tidings upon return is often seen as a mark of camaraderie, yes.”

“If that is the course of action you wish to take, such a thing is not objectionable insofar as there is no current state of emergency or necessity to take up arms.”

Upon saying that he just kind of, looks at you blankly?

Very much akin to a computer awaiting input.

... Is that what he is? This raises far more questions than answers, but it looks like this means he’s ‘down for whatever’.

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

Wow… man, Memeko’s timeline has all the surprises.

[Pretty sure that has nothing to do with it, Yuu.]

–Whoa, really? You knew?! I was just swinging by because things on my end are quiet and I was kinda bored… Memeko’s still on her mission, I figured, but I thought I’d check…

That interdimensional wifi is pretty chunky, after all.

“She is indeed still afield.”

“With that understanding you are nonetheless still welcomed in these premises. I will personally admit that I do not have much understanding of the concept of a ‘pleasure visit’, but that is simply how I am.”

“To ascertain the desirability of an extensive array of outcomes, please endeavour to make clear what it is that should be done.”

Uh...

You think he’s asking what you want to do.

Probably.

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

[Oh god that’s right, does Memeko even know she has this guy in her house??? He should text her right away and go uh, hey man, there’s a big centaur man and he’s very big and scary, are you aware of this? Should I call somebody?]

[But wait–registered? Database?]

Hoo, okay… that’s a big relief. Saves us a lot of time!

It’s nice to meet you, Xiang–

…

Did you just say Xiang Yu?

“Affirmative. History notes me as the ‘Hegemon-King of Western Chu’, though I have no use for such a title at this point in time.”

“My foresight predicted your arrival here, but not its purpose. Hence, I waited.”

Apparently he’s also? Psychic? Okay???

#tsukeyakiba #[Servant: Xiang Yu]

tsukeyakiba:

[Why yes, he’s scrambling to desperately clean up so he doesn’t end up trampled to death by this very large, very equine fellow. He’s sweating. Oh god he doesn’t recognize this guy. Is he another Servant? Oh god he should’ve called before he dropped in.]

[Come on now, Yuu. You gotta turn around and face the horse man.]