THE UNEXPECTED LIFE

INDONESIAN.ACCOUNTING EXEC.SINGAPORE.

[romadesiani]

2018: humbly before Him (New Beginning)

Gw buka dengan ayat tahunan gw dulu aja kali yah.

“GOD guards you from every evil, he guards your very life. He guards you when you leave and when you return, he guards you now, he guards you always.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭121:7-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬

BAMB! Gila ga tuh! Guards you from every evil. Guards your very life. Guards you now and always! Mantep ga tuh?

Setelah tahun lalu di bilangnya ga bakal di serahin ke kematian, sekarang di janjiin protection, man!

Menurut gw ini salah satu sign buat gw sih, sign kalo 2018 tuh gw ga bakal ngelangkah sendiri. Di tahun 2017 aja gw bisa survive! Yang jelas2 ayat tahunannya lumayan yg menyayat hati banget, APALAGI INI! Yang udah di janjiin protection!

Jadi buat tahun ini, I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back...

Hahah! Serius nih gw. After almost 11 years staying in SG, tahun 2018, I have decided to go back to Indonesia FOR GOOD!

HAHAHAHA! Ini serius yah kawan2. Udah ga becanda. Udah ga galau. Udah ga mikir mikir lagi.

Kalo ada yang nanya, “kok bisa? Kenapa balik? Apa yang buat lo balik? Gila, singapore kurang apalagi?” Nanti yah, next blog gw bakal jelasin.

Sekarang balik ke resolusi gw.

Jadi, resolusi gw tahun 2018 kayak ga banyak deh, cuman:

a. Mau jalan sama Tuhan, ga jauh jauh dari Tuhan karna yang protect gw tuh Tuhan. Ga ada yang lain, bro.

b. Tempat buat melayani dan bertumbuh sama Tuhan. Gw mau pake semua yang udah Tuhan kasih ke gw.

c. Liat setiap janji Tuhan tergenapi buat TLG, TheRoyals, ANU, Togatorops, & Romadesiani.

Buat gw, 2018 tuh lebih keliatan arahnya kemana, ke arah PENYERAHAN DIRI & IMAN seutuhnya sama Tuhan. HAHAHAHA.

Trus kenapa gw bilang humbly before Him, karna Tuhan mau lepasin segala pride, fear, tengsin yang gw punya sampe gw ga punya apa apa lagi selain Tuhan. Yang gw ga bisa bergantung ke siapapun selain Tuhan.

Rada takut but excited sih, mau liat apa lagi yang Tuhan mau kerjain di hidup gw dan lewat gw.

Jadi, YEAH! Aren’t you excited, coz I am SUPER excited.

See you guys!

[romadesiani]

Thank you 2017. Hello 2018

Baru nyadar gw kl tahun 2017 tuh ga buat resolusi. Cuman satu yang gw yakin, 2017 was an amazing year for me.

Tahun yang super nano nano, super CEPET, full of surprises!

Dari yang gw jadi ketua FA, ketua natal anak muda, sampe akhirnya di kenal banyak orang di gereja tuh menurut gw WOW banget.

Di awal tahun tuh gw dpt ayat tahunan yg lumayan menyayat hati.

“I didn’t die. I lived! And now I’m telling the world what GOD did. GOD tested me, he pushed me hard, but he didn’t hand me over to Death. Swing wide the city gates—the righteous gates! I’ll walk right through and thank GOD! This Temple Gate belongs to GOD, so the victors can enter and praise.”

‭‭Psalm‬ ‭118:17-20‬ ‭MSG‬‬

When I got this verse in the beginning of 2017, I knew, 2017 would be my year to get crushed and processed by God but I know He won’t let me die.

He taught me how to trust Him fully and keep obeying to whatever He told me to do.

Seriously, I have nothing, like no plan at all. Kayak berasa jalan ga ada arah yang keliatan gitu, cuman terang. Trus ga sendirian

Gila yah, struggle gw buat jadi FA Leader tuh cuman gw sama Tuhan deh yg ngerti, dr yang gw takut di compare, ga ngerti gimana bisa terbuka sama anak2, ga tau gimana ngertiin anak2 di FA. Itu tuh kayak “Tuhan, lo mau gw ngapain sih?” question kept running around in my mind.

Pertanyaan yang “are you sure, God?” Tuh nongol berkali2, but He is FAITHFUL!

He NEVER leave me nor forsake me. Pas lutut gw mulai goyah, tangan Tuhan tuh megang gw kenceng banget sampe ga sempet jatoh udah diri lagi gitu.

Gila deh, 2017 tuh bener2 tahun tergokil yang pernah gw laluin sih. Super gila banget cara Tuhan tuh kasih liat kebaikan, kemuliaan, kesetiaan, keagungan Dia dan siapa dia ke gw.

Tuhan tuh terus terus an ingetin gw satu hal. “Don’t be afraid for I am with you”

Sentence itu terus nongol setiap kali gw tanya “Where should I go, God?”

dan di awal tahun ini gw yakin kalo keputusan gw itu bener selama ada DAMAI SEJAHTERA dan janji Tuhan beserta gw, dan gw tau gw sanggup ngejalaninnya.

Jadi, yes! Thank you 2017!

I am ready to say hello to my 2018

romatogatorop

[romadesiani]

Wanita wanita tangguh yang mengisi hidupku selama 12 tahun belakangan ini dan akan selalu mengisi hidupku selamanya. I thank God for this friendship. I thank God for you guys! Another year to go together, another story will be shared together! See you soon ANU sayang ♥️

[romadesiani]

“But those who trust in the Lord will become STRONG again. They will be like eagles that grow new feathers. They will RUN and not get weak. They will WALK and not get tired.” ‭‭•‬‬ • • I've learned lots of thing about FAITH for the past few weeks. I couldn't imagine that I'll have the STRENGTH to take care of a BIG event like Family Retreat. I've cried and prayed a lot about it. I had tons of worries that made me thinking that I'm NOT CAPABLE. Nonetheless,He told me to put my "little faith" into His hands and let it grow day by day. He has given me things BEYOND my expectation. He answered all my PRAYERS, He took care of those things that are beyond my control and understanding. He's my provider and my shelter. 💕 #onebcs2017 #bethanychurchsg #TheRoyals #RoyalsgoestoJB (at Singapore)

[romadesiani]

Ku ucapkan berkat untukmu Ku ucapkan damai bagimu Ku doakan hal yang terbaik terjadi padamu. Merdeka negaraku. Dirgahayu Indonesiaku Dariku, Yang bangga menjadi rakyat Indonesia 🇮🇩 (at Indonesia)

[romadesiani]

Thank you sumba. Hope to see you again ❤️ #sumbaindonesia #tierasumba 12.08.17 (at Purukambera beach, East Sumba, NTT)

[romadesiani]

JUNE 2017

Hello guys!

Akhirnya gw balik lagi yah. Hahaha, sorry geng, I was quite busy with some stuff. Cuman tenang aja “that stuff” nya itu yang positive kok.

Anyway, how’s your 2017 so far? It’s been a very busy and wonderful year for me so far. Gw ga nyangka gw udah sampe di pertengahan tahun and I am so glad that I took all the opportunity to go closer and closer with Him, with my Daddy God!

Mulai dr mimpin FA, Tuhan gives me another opportunity to lead the Family Retreat for BCS Camp 2017. Yah emang bukan main lead sih, but I’m in charge for NGS (New Generation Session). Gw ga pernah mimpin cuy. Yah kl di suruh ngejagain, ngerangkul, ayolah sini, cuman kl mimpin kayak beginian, event gede kayak gini. WOW! Ga pernah! Cuman Ko Rai dan ce Keke selalu bilang OBEY and keep saying YES. Yodah deh, gw nurut. So far, Puji Tuhan, He helps me with everything. He gave me the boldness to talk to people from different homogeneous group without thinking about “bakal awkward ga yah? nanti ngmgin apa yah? how to start this conversation, etc” Ga ada, bener bener ngalir aja and I know that’s His part. Gw cuman nurut. Hahaha.

He also gave me an opportunity to attend Empowered 21. Wait, wait! Gw attend Holy Spirit NIght dulu deh, Gila, gw ngerasa “basah kuyup” selama minggu itu. Gw cuman dateng ke HSN 2 hari, but with that 2 days, Tuhan ngmng banyak banget ke gw. Di malem pertama I felt nothing, but I talk to myself “It’s okay. Expect more for the next day. Ask Him to give you more of Him and less of you”  and I did it. Di hari terakhir, He gave me another opportunity to share my experience “terima bahasa roh untuk pertama kali”. Itu yah, gw udah bilang ENGGA ke ce keke, Gw ga mau maju, cuman yah emang dia jago ngerayu yah. Akhirnya gw bilang iya. Di situ tujuan gw cuman satu, buta encourage orang-orang yg punya background yang sama kayak gw untuk terus minta bahasa roh WITHOUT ANY DOUBT ABOUT SPEAKING IN TONGUE. Di situ tuh, gw ngerasa banyak point yang ilang, but I know, He’s going to make everything perfect for His daughter. Di hari terakhir pas sesi doa, He asked to pray for one of our FA member. He asked me to approach her and pray about her family. I was like “are you serious? Am I listening to the right voice atau cuman feeling gw doang? Dia duduknya jauh Tuhan” Hahaha, kesel ga sih lo ngeliat gw? dan apa yang terjadi sodara2? SAYA TIDAK BERGERAK. Gw ragu. Jadi gw terus berdoa dong. Trus Tuhan bilang gw 

“RohKu di dalammu lebih besar dari apapun yang akan kamu hadapin di depan nanti” 

Gila, di situ gw yakin itu bukan feeling gw yang ngomong! Karna my biggest fear is MYSELF. Gw takut gw ga bisa ini, itu. Gw ngerasa I’m not capable enough untuk ambil responsibility yang ada di depan gw and when He said that I know that I will get more and more things from Him and IT’S NOT GOING TO BE EASY. Tapi gw yakin Dia jalan bareng gw. I am not alone. Di tambah lagi, malemnya, si bapak wa gw, dia cerita ttg apa yang Tuhan kasih ke dia. He got the same thing man! Dia bilang gw kayak bulldozer yang bakal bukain jalan di depan, tapi gw ga sendiri, ada banyak temen2 yang nopang doa buat gw, KURANG MEWEK APALAGI GW KAK! Hands up! Tuhan baik. Teramat baik.

Di Empowered 21, gw juga di ingetin tentang itu lagi. OBEY and DON’T BE AFRAID. Slap slap! Hahaha! Cara Dia buat ngmg sama domba yang rada bebel gini kali yah. BERKALI KALI! HAHAHA. Banyak banget sih yang gw dapetin tuh. Sampe bingung gimana cara mulainya. Cuman gw inget, Sara Castelanos bilang “It’s not me, It’s YOU” Dia ingetin gw buat punya the same vision as He has for me. 

Don’t settle for earthly vision but settle for HEAVENLY VISION. 

Wow! Dia seumuran gw, btw guys. Gw cuman bisa bilang “wow, yes God. Okay. Right!” Setelah itu gw mikir dan mikir. 

Gila ini panjang banget sih yah, cuman masih banyak banget, gimana dong? Lanjut ga yah?

Okay, bokap gw akhirnya angkat tangan dan siap buat terima BAHASA ROH! Wow!! GILA! Di situ gw cuman bisa bantu doa sambil berbahasa roh dan nangis sejadi jadi nya. Buat kalian yang ga tau. Gw bukan berasal dr gereja yang berbahasa roh. Gw selalu debat sama bokap buat hal ini. Seriusan. Sampe di satu titik kemarin gw bilang ke Tuhan, “Tuhan, aku iri sama orang orang yang bisa bertumbuh di gereja yang sama dengan orang tua nya, Yang bisa cerita  pertumbuhan imannya dengan orang tuanya. Aku ga bisa. Aku pengen papa bilang papa bangga sama pertumbuhan iman aku. Aku rindu itu Tuhan.” Gw doain ini tuh pas sore. Tauga, pas malem2 kita lagi ngobrol tiba2 bokap bilang “Papa bangga kamu bisa pelayanan. Papa bangga kamu di kasih Tuhan tanggung jawab di gereja, tapi tetep jaga kesehatan.” Gimana gw ga mewek sih? Baik banget yah Tuhan! Gila! T__T

Besoknya tuh di gereja Om Djo share ttg bahasa Roh dan di ajak buat altar call untuk siapapun yang mau terima bahasa roh, and you know what? BOKAP GW ANGKAT TANGAN! Itu yah, gw antara seneng dan takut. Seneng karna dia mau terima. Takut kl dia ga dapet pasti bakal debat lagi nih kita. Gw cuman bisa doa sama Tuhan, mewek, bahasaroh, dan terus terusan kayak gitu. Sampe gw blg “It’s okay God. If he cannot get it now. It’s well with my soul. It is well with my soul. It’s okay Lord.” 

Trus pas lunch dia bilang, 

“Papa udah di doain 3 orang, ttp ga dapet. papa udah serahin semuanya. papa bilang Tuhan ini aku hambaMu, pakai aku sesuai rencanaMu. aku mau terima bahasa roh Mu. lepaskan aku dr segala roh2 jahat yg mungkin masih ada di dalamku. Aku berserah.” 

tapi papa denger Tuhan bilang 

“Ladang kamu bukan di sini. Kamu ga butuh senjata itu buat melayani Aku. Bernubuatlah.”

Itu jawaban dari doa gw selama ini tauga sih! Gw cuman bisa bilang Thank you Tuhan. Engkau baik, sangat baik. Dia jawab doa gw dan dia jawab doa bokap gw yang mnrt gw tuh super humble banget, Itu tuh yah, gw bisa ngerasa pas dia doa, dia tuh kayak tanggalin semua pernak pernik dan jabatan dia yang ada di bumi and humbly come to God and ask for that, and He gave him that answer! 

Yah, gitu deh. Gila yah. Baik banget. Ga ngeri gw. Siapa gw bisa experience this kind of goodness dari Dia coba. Thank you Jesus!

Jadi, yah. Gw siap buat jalan terus, maju terus sama Tuhan. Mau apapun yg gw hadepin nanti, gw yakin, RohNya di dalamku, lebih BESAR dari apapun yang ada di depanku!

Sign out!

with love,

romatogatorop 

[romadesiani]

Happy Blessed New Year, everyone! May God's wisdoms and blessings be with us. •Togatorops•

[romadesiani]

Entering 2017

Hello there,

Udah 2017 aja yah, padahal kmrn baru aja gw nulis resolution gw buat 2016 and here I am, thinking about my resolution for this year 2017.

Seriously, I have no clue at all about this year. Last year was too fast for me to digest things that I’ve been through. Mulai dr lulus, dapet kerja, opung meninggal, dan jadi ketua FA. Yes, I am the FA Leader now. Romadesiani, you’re an FA Leader now, so BEHAVE! Hahahaha! Iya, kayaknya there will be lots lots of things yang bakal Tuhan kerjain di hidup gw. Seriously, that was BIG. I never imagine myself to be the FA Leader. 

But I thank God to have those brother sister in Christ who keep supporting me. One of my fa member bilang hari ini “kamu cuman perlu bilang iya. Tuhan yang bakal kerjain semuanya. Kadang Tuhan emang minta kita untuk lakuin hal hal yang kita anggep kita ga pernah bisa, tapi di situlah percepatan terjadi rom” and I was like, yeah, right. Maybe the only thing that I need to do is just to say YES and follow His plans for this year.

Menurut gw hari pertama di tahun 2017 itu hari Minggu bukan sesuatu kebetulan. Gw baru aja di kuatin sama lagunya I believe in You nya Symphony Worship

I believe in You, I will walk with You. I surrender to Your plans. You were there in ALL MY STRUGGLES. Lord I trust in You.

Yes, I have a lot of struggles and chains yang belum gw selesain sama Tuhan dan bakal banyak banget yg bakal gw hadepin in tahun ini, cuman satu yg mau gw declare that I will TRUST in Him, in Jesus. 

There will be a PROCESS YEAR for me bahkan ayat tahunan gw aja udah ngingetin kl The Lord has disciplined me severely, but He has not given me over to death (Psalm 118:18) 

Gw bisa ngerasa banget kl Tuhan minta gw buat PATUH.TAAT.NURUT sama Dia and give thanks for every struggles that I am facing or going to face.

Yah, pokoknya, I am ready lah yah. Siap. HARUS SIAP. Sisanya mah biar Tuhan aja yang ngurus.

Okay, sign out.

romadesiani

01.01.17

[romadesiani]

Are you there?

Pernah ga sih kalian ngerasa kangen banget sama temen kalian? Temen yang udah deket banget sama kalian, yang bisa di bilang you’ve tell everything about yourself to them. I feel that now. I miss Mr.O. I miss him. 

He was my secondary school friend and he is my senior. Bisa di bilang, dia satu-satunya cowo yang bisa gw ngertiin gw. Walaupun kita sering debat, sering beda pendapat, tapi hal itu yang buat kita untuk bisa nyaman satu sama lain. Gw nyaman sama sikap dia yang nyebelin tapi ngangenin.

Gw inget banget tuh, ritual gw kalo udah nyampe rumah pas masih di secondary school life. Once I reach home, I will never change my clothes first. I would open my laptop and sign in to my msn or yahoo messenger. For what? I’m waiting for Mr O to be online and talk to me. Dia cowo bisa buat gw mikir. Kita bakal bertukar pikiran tentang pelajaran, music, temen, family, bahkan kehidupan pribadi kita. We have a different taste of music genre. Gw sering banget nyuruh dia untuk dengerin lagu yang gw suka, dia juga gitu sih. Kalo dia kasih link lagu ke gw, I’ll just open it, listen to it, and judge it dan di situ deh perdebatan di mulai. Gw ga tau sih, kalo misalnya gw kasih link lagu ke dia, dia buka atau engga. Semoga di buka yah. 

Hal yang gw inget banget itu di saat gw nyuruh dia buat berenti minum green tea. He likes to drink green tea so much. Gw nyuruh dia untuk minum itu karna kata nyokap itu ga bagus. Sebagai temen yang baik, yah, gw nyuruh dia untuk berenti. Awalnya sih dia ga mau, kita debat biar dia berenti untuk minum green tea. However, at the end gw menang dan dia janji untuk ga minum green tea lagi. Yah, emang di buktiin sih sama dia karna keesokan harinya pas gw ngeliat dia beli minum, he bought mineral water instead of green tea. 

Kita belajar di sekolah yang sama, tapi ga tau kenapa, kita ga pernah ngmng kalo di sekolah. Padahal gw lumayan deket sama temen-temennya dia. Gw ga tau siapa yang salah, tapi yang pasti sampe sekarang gw bingung kenapa persahabatan gw sama dia bisa berenti begini aja.

Mr O, are you there? I’ve been waiting for you to appear online in my yahoo messenger. I miss our conversation. Gw kangen dimana gw bisa debat dan marah sama lw. Gw kangen sama nasehat-nasehat lw yang tajem tapi bijak.

I miss you, Mr O. 

[romadesiani]

Do you still remember about this? About this guy? He’s back.

Back into my life

[romadesiani]

2016 : PROCESS

Hi tumbs!

I am sorry for not visiting this place like ages (lebay yak). There are a lot of things going on in my life this year, but, seriously, this year was too AMAZING for me.

Gw udah (bisa di bilang) lulus dari degree dan, currently I am working. Yes, working! Gila ini sih mantep loh process pencarian kerjanya. I can really feel that God is working in my life. He wants me to wait and see. Gw bisa bilang kl “it’s not me. It’s Him”. Bener bener di kikis segala kesombongan dan di kasih liat kl gw ga ada apa apanya tanpa Tuhan. HAHAHA.

Trus di tahun ini I can really feel that God is processing my life secara keseluruhan. Semuanya, including my family, my close ones, bahkan orang yg gw kira I can relay on, ternyata… haha.

Keluarga gw lagi di process abis abisan sama Tuhan. Bisa di bilang kl we’re at our lowest point yg sampe ga ngerti harus gimana, dan sampe detik ini gw juga masih bingung kapan selesainya. Cuman Tuhan ingetin gw untuk terus BELIEVE, OBEY, ENDURE. I can hear it clearly that He wants to bring us HIGHER & CLOSER to Him from this process.

Intinya tahun 2016 tuh tahun process lah buat gw. Dan ini tuh masih permulaan. Masih banyak hal yg mau Tuhan kasih liat ke gw.

Di sini gw mau bilang that I want to be faithful to HIS PLANS, I know its going to be tougher and tougher. I might feel like I wanna give up some day, but I won’t! I might feel, I must mistaken His word/plan, but I know He will remind me again that “IT’S NOT ME. IT’S HIM” Cuman satu sih permintaan gw, I want Him to give me STRENGTH &WISDOM, that’s all. Itu bisa di bilang lebih dari cukup buat hadepin segala hal di hidup gw nanti.

So, yeah! Let’s see guys!

[romadesiani]

Rest well opung. Banyak yang nanya "km deket ga sama opung km?" I don't know how close i am to him, cuman satu hal yg aku tau, he's one of the amazing person in my life. Thank you opung buat jadi panutan papa untuk jadi papa yg baik dan bener buat kita. Thank you buat tetep kuat di masa tua opung sampai di waktu Tuhan panggil opung. Aku yakin opung udah ktm opung boru di sana dan udh ada di tempat yg lebih indah. Aku percaya janji Tuhan indah buat keluarga kita. See you again, opung 💋

[romadesiani]

Menulis di ketinggian 3600ft

Hi guys!

Balik lagi nih gw!! First of all I would like to announce that I’M NO LONGER A STUDENT 🎉🎉🎉 Yes, I’m done with my final exam! Well, yeah, I’m still waiting for the result, but I believe I could pass all those papers (AMEN!)

Second thing is, I’m super blessed as I got a privilege to be a PIC for TLG MISSION TRIP to BATAM! Lots of things happening during the preparation. Lots of tears and pressure during that period but, once you were there and see those kids smiling and enjoying the event, everything is just gone. I don’t even think about am I doing a great job etc but I do really surrender that event to my Jesus! Banyak bgt yang gw pelajarin di sini and I do really feel that Jesus is doing something great in my life dengan cara jadiin gw PIC di acara ini. I can feel that He wants to shape me to be a better person. He taught me to learn how to handle people’s mood even when you are in the bad mood. HAHAHAHA!

The last one is currently I’M LOOKING FOR A JOB! Yes, a full-time job, like real job! Omg! Time flies! Jumat kmrn ade gw ocha, just get her first interview and they offer her the job straight away! How cool our God is! I’m so happy for you, ocha dedeng! 😘 Tapi jujur di lubuk hati gw yg paling dalam mikir, bisa ga yah gw kayak gt? Will I get a job as fast as Ocha? Then l heard a sound said this to me “Jalan hidup orang beda beda Rom. Tuhan mau pake orang jg dengan cara yg beda beda. Percaya aja kalo He’s the same God who is going to bless you as much as ocha, bahkan bisa lebih. His grace is sufficient for His people.” Di situ gw langsung kayak okay Tuhan! I’ll put my trust in You. Tuhan ga pernah kecewain gw kok dan gw bener bener berserah gt wherever HE WANTS ME TO GO, I’ll go. Dan gw percaya Dia ga akan pernah mempermalukan anak-anak-Nya. So, yeah! I’ll update again and please pray for me guys so I can get a job and walk with FAITH and according to HIS will, not my will.

With love, Romatogatorop (23.05.16)

[spiritualinspiration2]

[spiritualinspiration2]

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13, NKJV.

Today, I want to remind you of what God says about you. No matter what’s happening in your life today, remember: you are not limited by your resources, your family or your background. Almighty God has equipped and empowered you. He has given you creativity, ideas, inventions, skills and talents. Don’t you dare settle for a mediocre life! Today, I call forth the seeds of greatness inside of you.

Today, I declare that your best days are ahead. That you are going to go further than anyone in your family ever did; that you are going to dream bigger and live higher. I declare that you are a leader, an influencer, a minister of reconciliation. You are the fragrance of God to the nations.

Before anyone put a curse on you, God Almighty put a blessing on you. Walk and live in that blessing by following His commands and staying fully committed to Him in everything you do!

[romadesiani]

Blessed

Hi! I want to share something to you guys. No, actually I want to share this to my future-self. I feel blessed, like really blessed this morning. I'm in the exam prep week where all seats in my school will be chop by all the kiasu students. Actually, I do not want to go to school as in order for you to get a good bench (seat) I need to reach school at least 7-7.30am. (FYI, I'm not a MORNING person.) I tried to study at home but it turned out to be a "me" time and I kept telling myself "okay, TOMORROW I'll do 3 chapters." And, it didn't happen to be like that. Okay, cut of the story, I planned to meet my friend at 7.30am at the bus stop and we'll reach school around 8am, but because of one and other reason we are late. No, I am late. I keep praying ask God to reserve ONE bench (a good bench) for me to study. We reach around 8.15am. My expectation is not as high as before. So, I quickly went to level 4, and guess what! The hall is EMPTY! I'm not late! I even have a chance to choose! And, I get the best bench in that level!! Omg, I was surprise! HAHAHAHAHA! God is good. No. God is AWESOME! Omg!! Dia bahkan denger doa gw yang cuman masalah bangku buat belajar! Gila yah!! Baik banget Tuhan! Okay then. That's all. I need to go back to my books. Bye!!! 12.04.16

[romadesiani]

February 2016

Yeay! We are in the 1st day of February 2016 🎉🎉🎉 It means that we’ve been spending 31 days from this year. So, what have you done during your 31 days in this year?

For me, I’ve been praying hard for my future. For those of you who knows me, you know that I’m struggling to choose where should I continue my life after my uni life ended. I’ve been praying and fasting to get the answers and…. Yes! He answered my prayer. But, I have a doubt on it. I keep asking Him, are you sure, God? Do I really have to do that? Until….. Now

I thought He’s going to get annoyed and leave me alone and let me choose myself. But, wait. He’s talking to me through my Youth Pastor, Ko Ray. On the first or (maybe) second week of January, he was preaching about how are we going to trust Him, to surrender everything to Him for our 2016. He took the verse from Luke 5:5. He ask me to surrender and follow His words. Cuman susah! Gw masih ga yakin gitu. I was thinking, mungkin ini bukan jawabannya karna gw ada bolong bolong nya pas fasting. I was thinking to tell about this to my Fa Leader (ce Keke) or to Ce Gill (ko Ray’s wife) , but, I decided to pray again and ask for another sign.

Sampe akhirnya…… Yesterday….. God talked to me THROUGH Ko Ray again!! Omg, can you imagine?! I was like, seriously God, again? He is talking about “Making Decision in Life” in 180 teens service. Damn. Not another one God. No. Gw di situ udah mulai ga enak body sama udh mulai keringet dingin. During the service I kept saying yes. Amin. Yeah. But, again I was thinking, can I do that? Can I get out from my comfort zone? Can I not to worry about my future? Can I bear the consequences of my decisions? Can I not to be selfish but ask for His will in my life so that I can glorify His name? Can i stop asking what if and start to surrender everything to Him? Can I? (Masih belum yakin gw sama diri sendiri)

Dan.... akhirnya, gw beraniin diri buat cerita ke ko Ray, since he’s been slapping me for twice through his preaches kan, so he has to be responsible for this. Hahaha. I thought he’s going to say “Yes rom, that’s the answer, you have to obey that.” Tapi tau ga apa yang terjadi?? Gw makin galau! Hahahha. Ko Ray suggest I should not ask for a sign dengan hati dan tujuan yg salah. Jangan dengan hati yang masih kacau. Hati yang you, yourself still don’t know whether that answer is going to be the best one or not or giving Him options that limit His plan in life. Intinya, don’t ask a sign and His answer with a selfish heart. Degh. Mati dong gw. Iya emang, I have a selfish heart. I kept thinking the pros and cons if I live in this country or that country. I didn’t really ask where should I go according to His plan. I already have my own plan for me to live for the next (at least) 2 years. I do even have a deadline for Him to answer my prayer, nyebelin ga? Hahaha. I love you, God! Aduh, pokoknya, intinya adalah GW GALAU. But, I feel relieved sih, as I know what should I do next.

So, what should I do now? I need to pray and fast with the RIGHT heart. Not asking anything except His plan to happen in my life. Susah ga? Pastilah! Wong gw orangnya ga suka di gantungin, ga suka sama yang namanya nunggu. But, I do believe, kalo gw di gantunginnya sama Tuhan at least I have the ease feeling that whatever I am doing right now until I get His answer ( as long as it’s according to His words lah yah) itu akan di protect sama Tuhan and He will never dissapoint me. So, yeah. Please pray for me so I can pray and fast with the RIGHT HEART and MIND.

See you next time!

[romadesiani]

2016?

Am I too late to make my resolution?

Alright, here are my 2016 resolutions. 1. Getting all Bs for all my last year subjects. AMEN! 2. Get a job (permanent job) before September 2016. ↪ I’m in the stage of “galau akut” as I don’t know where am I going to continue. Yes, I know. No one knows about the future, but at least when you’re going to graduate you have an imagination about where are you going to work, while, mine, currently, is just a blank space. ↪ Singapore or Indonesia? I don’t know… 3. Concentrate on my ministry ↪ like seriously, I really need to learn a lot of things. Eg. Know how to be a good WL in my cell group, do harmonization ( I have to MASTER it this year), and be real in front of Him and people surround me. 4. Lose Weight! ↪ I super really need an extra work to lose 10kg from my current weight 😡 5. Get a husband. HAH! ↪ I’m serious. I don’t need a boyfriend. I’m not looking for a boyfriend. I’m looking for a husband. ↪ my dad said I have to worry less bout this and worry more about my studies as he is very sure I’ll find my prince charming once I’m done with my studies. YES DAD! I’LL DO IT!😘

So, yeah! That’s all for now. 2016 is a year where I’m going to get something new. Like really new, where I’m going to start my new life in the workplace. I am kind of having a blurry sight of my life for this year. But I do believe He’s gonna answer (all) my prayer.

See you!!