the girl who made it on her own

RONA KELLER I am an autumn child, a lover of the seasons, honest feelings, solitude and good company. But most of all, I am a collector of memories. website / instagram / flickr / film diary / shop / facebook

[akindplace]

Crazyheadcomics

[ronakeller]

I went to find the first spring blossoms yesterday

[ronakeller]

“I used to be scared that if I gave up my sadness, I wouldn't be me anymore. But growing into a peaceful state of mind does not mean happy ever after.

It means that you can now feel the sadness, but not let it consume you. Watch it, feel it, learn from it, create from it, but don't let it consume you.”

– Charlotte Eriksson, Everything changed when I forgave myself

[ronakeller]

Hi tumblr, I miss you. So here are some photos and words I put together yesterday, some of which are memories that I once shared in this corner of the internet.

finding quiet in forests full of memories 

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At the end of December, I visited one of the forests I sometimes came to during the early days of my photography journey. In search for a place I once took photos at, I walked along forest roads covered in deciduous trees still carrying their autumn foliage, until I found myself standing in a place that felt very familiar. In the autumn of 2011, I spent a few hours here, making and creating memories. It was a golden autumn and I couldn’t grasp just how quickly it went by, and wrote into my diary the same day — ”Every leaf falling off breaks my heart a little more.“  To capture this feeling, I took a self portrait here, placing my camera on a high seat, looking down on me. 

Eleven years later, the high seat was deteriorated and its ladder was missing, so I wasn’t able to climb up there this time around. I climbed as high as I could (which wasn’t very high) and dove deep into this heartfelt moment, letting the memories of my early self portraits rush through me. I set up my camera, this time on a tripod on the ground, and put my feelings into a new self portrait in the same space. On this day in late December, I didn’t only find a place changed by the influence of the many seasons that had passed since, but also a little bit of myself.

These are a mixture of photos from October 2011 and December 2022, as well as film memories from my first year of shooting film. 

[pigmenting]

august rolls over and yawns. wakes slow and heavy, stretching like a cat. outside, the sound of birds, the smell of grass. august turns over in an empty bed. his eyes feel swollen and tired. on the nightstand, a note from july - no one carries light like you do.

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Swedish summer memories film, late August 2015

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"no matter how well we get along with someone, if we stick too close without building in some personal space, we soon feel trapped and burned out; it is easy to take the relationship for granted and feel resentful about not having enough privacy and independence. On the other hand, if we put in too little effort to stay in touch with friends and family, we can’t feel the warmth of their love." 

— Haemin Sunim, The Things You Can See Only When You Slow Down

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the slowness of travelling home

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a slow morning sharing (not pictured) cake and some last conversations before saying goodbye

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last views of Sheffield before returning home

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collecting pieces of autumn wherever I go

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autumn views in the Botanical Gardens of Sheffield

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this tree was the epitome of October

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when the colours of my tea accidentally matched the polaroids we took earlier :)

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the perfect lunch colour combination

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found and kept

the days I spent in Sheffield were the first time it really felt like autumn 

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Naomi holding an autumn leaf we found on one of our walks

04/10/2018 Polaroid X-70