my brain cooked another super dumb headcanon instead of studying pls don't call me crazy I know it sounds weird but hear me out:
imagine Percy getting kitnapped (again) waking up in a room next to Ares being chained to a desk and both of them are forced to - quoting Zeus - "sit it out until their annoying childish behaviour stops getting on my fucking nerves"
and bruh the room turns out to be a studio builed by Hephaestus so that - quoting Zeus (again) - "everyone on Olympus can witness how I really would love to burn these two into crispy thanksgiving turkeys but galactic embarrassment should do it."
AND NOW IMAGINE that Percy and Ares are starting a freaking podcast about the most random stuff (probably just screaming at each other) and everyone, even the monsters in Tartarus listen to that shit these two crackheads come up with:
Percy: Welcome back to "cousins-in-crime now is your time" podcast. In todays episode it's my time to demonstrate you the screams of a demigod cutting his own leg off instead of loosing his mind. Stay tuned.
Ares: That's the step in the right direction. .... did you get the joke? I donβt wanna get into it, itβs very thigh-sensitive. Damn. My leg puns are quite the feet
Percy: You should tell Achilles. This shit would keep him on his toes.
Ares: Nah I don't think he could stand any more leg jokes
Percy afterwards getting recognized in battle not as the son of Poseidon but as "that funny grumpy dude from that super aggressive 'cousins-in-crime' podcast! You both were awesome! Hey, could you sign my fangs?? Down in Tartarus, I would be THE SHIT if I tell everyone that I met you. "
Ares and Percy Podcast.
change my mind this would be so funny
(Bonus: they have guests.)
