she proceeded to drink about half of her coffee as he listed her crimes and poked fun at her. "ok, listen, he can take it. he knows i mean it with love." she choked out a laugh as she tried to get another sip of her coffee, looking at the texts she did not have any memory sending. after a small coughing fit, she rubbed her forehead. "i really need to stop using speech to text, i think it's enabling a part of my brain that just lets me forget what i say to people."
"lord knows that if i did end up cutting my bangs, i would be wearing a hat right now." charlie said, barely being able to keep herself from laughing as she wiped her eyes. "not that i don't look AMAZING with bangs, but you know, cutting bangs sleep-deprived would not have gone well. my darling sister would probably be looking into clip-on bangs or wig options to save me from the embarrassment about now... if she were awake." she gave a knowing smile to manan then quickly looked away to stare at the pastries in her lap, grabbing one and ripping a bite out of it. "anyways, hair decisions aside, i hope you're right about my book." "i really hope it goes well. it is supposed to be the last book in this series, but i'm having a hard time letting it just end." she set down her coffee and subconsciously started tracing the letters on the gravestone beside her. "i guess that's why i came out here. for inspiration and guidance on how to let the great detective ha get her perfect ending." oops, she said something a little too sad. she is now all too aware of what she's doing so she straightens herself out and puts her empty hand in her lap. "i think a red herring might be the way to go. i don't know, not everything has to be solved by the end of a series, i kind of like the idea that maybe they never learn if the ghosts she was seeing were real or not. just leaving it up to the reader's imagination."
TW nongraphic talk of death and grieving
Manan immediately notes how Charlie shrinks in on herself when she says something a little too honest. He knows why, he’s caught himself doing the same thing countless times. When you’ve lived long enough with that kind of pain you learn to make it more palatable for others around you. Death is inevitable, so it would stand to reason that everyone would have dealt with losing somebody they love at some point and it would be this bittersweet bonding experience for anyone unfortunate enough to be involved. But no, as anyone that has dealt with a tragic loss will tell you, it is completely alienating. He and Charlie had commiserated on it plenty of times before. People want to be supportive and comfort you but when the mask slips a little too much and the true depth of the hurt left behind is shown they suddenly don’t know what to do for you and are tripping over themselves to get away. But he wouldn’t run away. Well… not this time. Carefully he scooched himself back on the grass until his back hit Ellis’ headstone; the sun warmed granite a soothing pressure behind him. The thoughtful silence stretched between them a few moments longer as they sipped their coffees before Manan spoke again, “I mean, I think there’s something kind of realistic in that. Not many things get to be tied up perfectly in life. Most times when something ends it leaves you feeling ten kinds of knotted up and confused, and you’re left to find your way through it on your own.” He pauses to nibble on his slice of chocolate zucchini bread and decide if he should even share his next thought. He was quickly approaching the point when he’d usually switch topics or make a joke to lighten the tension instead of following the melancholy path his brain usually leads him down.
Fuck it. If there was anyone that could handle his somewhat morbid thought process without judgment it was Charlie. He lets out a soft sigh as he pulls his knees up to his chest and rests his chin on his knees. “I think I’ve said it before, but that’s how I feel about Ellis most days. I see things that remind me of him or I feel like I can hear exactly what he would have said in response to something and I could swear he was right next to me still. It used to really hurt and just make me feel sad all of the time because of course he’s not really there. But now… I don’t know, even when it stings it’s kind of nice. It doesn’t feel like he’s completely gone; I get to keep little pieces of him with me. Makes me feel less alone while I figure it all out.” “So maybe it doesn’t matter if the ghosts were real or not, they helped her most when she needed it and were a source of comfort when she was feeling lost in the investigation.” He’d been staring ahead at the tree branches swaying in the wind across from them and finally turns his face back over to Charlotte. “What matters most for the story is how you feel about how things end, how our good detective feels. No one else knows more about the story than you do Charlie. If you weren’t worried about wrapping it up nicely for anyone but yourself, what kind of ending would you give Yerim?”
