allegiant

"with my feelings on fire..." Jake Rosier / 16 / Death Eater "----guess I'm a bad LIAR"

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

Jake smiled down at her before swallowing hard. He always wanted to please her, to make her happy, but this felt different. The urge originated somewhere deeper this time, not in his heart but in the pit of his stomach. “Good. I don’t think it’d be fair to you if we left now.” he said, his voice wavering a little where he’d intended to be confident. Slowly he moved his hands across her back, skimming over her bum before grabbing the undersides of her thighs and hoisting her up, beginning to carry her over to the sofa, his mouth finding her neck. For now, he was in control.

[rosierjacob-blog]

fayetravers:

“And I’m tired of your trollshite, Jacob. Spill.” Once more, Faye drew her leg back only to extend it again hard against his thigh. He could test her, but she was more than willing to keep this going. “You have five seconds before I write a dirty letter to Mariela and say its from you. Five… four…”

Jake flinched, pulling his leg further away from her. “Faye, cut it out. Seriously.” he protested, a slight edge to his voice. He sighed at her threat---he didn’t doubt that she would do it, but he somehow didn’t quite believe that Mariela wouldn’t know it wasn’t really from him. But it wasn’t like Faye wouldn’t come up with a better threat in time. “It’s not...it’s not a big deal. I just can’t tell you.”

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

Looking at her, his stomach flipped in a semi-terrifying way. He liked her. He really, really liked this girl looking up at him with those dark eyes. He kissed the top of her forehead in response, smiling wanly.  “Do you think....” he looked back at the door and then at her again, his grin growing mischievous. “...they would notice if we were gone for a few more minutes?”

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

As soon as she began to smile his own face broke into a huge, goofy grin. He reached out as she kissed him to tuck a piece of hair behind her ear. “Was that okay?” he repeated incredulously, shaking his head and kissing her forehead. “That was...yeah, wow. Brilliant.” He laughed again---it felt good to laugh with her, that they could have both extremes in their relationship. “I mean...it was okay with you, right?”

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

He breathed heavily as he calmed down, releasing his grip on her hair to wipe the sweat off his brow. He had no idea what had just come over him; he’d caught brief flashes of this side of himself, he had never leaned into it like this. Running through what had just happened in his head he found himself feeling a little sheepish. He finally looked down at her and let out a nervous chuckle. “I...um..” He laughed again; his two impulses were to apologize or to thank her, and both seemed awkward. Wordlessly he smoothed out her hair where he’d pulled on it, hoping she’d stand up soon.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

Jake let out a heavy sigh as he realized she was going to have mercy on him. The sound was quickly followed by other little grunts and moans as she increased her pace, still holding onto her hair for support. He closed his eyes as he felt the tension building, and the room was almost spinning. He was holding back, trying to make it last a little longer, but Mariela was good. He tried to say something, warn her somehow, but it just came out as a strangled groan, and before long before he began to come undone with a shudder.

[rosierjacob-blog]

averypucey:

        It didn’t surprise her, that her assumption was the truth. Especially for Jake - his family likely would do anything to ensure he didn’t embarass them. At least her own were more interested in mingling, or whatever it was they were doing. At least Jake had a sense of humour about it all. Avery laughed. ‘ I mean, I definitely already was glad for that, ‘ she teased. ‘ Though I’m not sure it’s Mariela who has the bad luck in this situation. You’re forgetting I was her roommate for five years - I already know how bad she is to live with, and you can’t possibly be worse. ‘ 

Jake’s smile stalled at her jab, and he scratched his head nervously. “Oh, she’s not so bad. This is really hard on her, too.” He wanted to jump to her defense more, but he knew that would give too much away. He had already been too obvious with Faye; it seemed impossible that he could lie about so many things, but on this he struggled. “I mean, you know, besides--- could be worse. She could be...a centaur or something.”

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

rosierjacob:

marielaflint:

Fuck, she was a tease. Jake had never been this frustrated before, this impatient. He had never thought about how vulnerable sex made him; Mariela was the first person to see him like this. He tried in vain to remain patient for a few moments, his desire for her to pick up the pace growing with every second, until he finally pulled on her hair. His touch definitely wasn’t gentle this time. “Mariela...” he practically growled---it was the closest thing to a command that he had ever given her. She had broken him.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

 marielaflint:

Suddenly her mouth was pulled away from his and his eyes snapped open. It only took him half a second to take in the scene before he knew exactly what was happening. It shouldn’t have surprised him, but it did. This had never happened to him before. He looked down at her, wanting to ask if she was sure, if this was okay, but she moved too quickly. 

“Fuck...” he murmured in a voice not entirely his own. His thoughts were all senseless, all of his focus on the feeling of her mouth on him. He balled his hands into fists, trying to remain patient. But she was slow, teasing, too slow for the quickly building tension within him. He needed her to go faster, but he couldn’t find the words. His hands tangled themselves in her hair and he pulled her closer, his hips twitching as he moaned.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[marielaflint]

rosierjacob:

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[rosierjacob-blog]

Jake tried to kiss her with more patience than he was feeling, but the feeling of her mouth moving hotly against his had all notions of that out the window. He moaned softly, but before he could pull her closer she was doing it for him. The feeling of her hands below his waist were starting to have an effect that he knew she could see.

He allowed her to slip off his belt, another groan slipping out before he could stop it. There was no denying that Mariela wanted him right now, and the mere idea of that made him feel powerful---and eager to please her. Right now he would let her take the lead, see what she was comfortable with. But he didn’t want that to last all night.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

rosierjacob:

marielaflint:

rosierjacob:

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He held his breath in the moment before she turned around, letting it out a touch too loudly as he saw her like this for the first time. She was beautiful, but it was too simple a word to describe her. She was past that and something else entirely, and he knew this whether she was dressed or not---but right now was a good reminder. He almost felt a little inadequate looking at her. 

“You’re...” he paused, his voice dropping to a quiet whisper. “wow.” He had meant to be more eloquent, but he supposed this wasn’t really the time for talking, anyways. He laughed a little at his mistake, but he was beginning to feel a little nervous. He didn’t know what happened next, how far they were taking this. Slowly he caressed her cheek and kissed her again; it was as good a start as any.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

rosierjacob:

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He wondered if she was feeling the same way he was, if her heart was pounding as quickly. He wanted to reach out and check. Up this close he could smell her hair and her perfume and it was all almost too much; some sort of sensory overload. He had never in a million years thought he would one day be sneaking around with Mariela Flint, kissing and undressing each other secretly while a party went on just below them. He would have laughed at the idea a year ago, but he certainly wasn’t laughing now.

At her nod he swallowed thickly and turned her around---he didn’t exactly trust his dexterity enough at the moment to not look at what he was doing. He could feel himself getting excited as he slowly pulled the zipper down, exposing more of her with every centimeter. Gently he moved his hands underneath the straps, pulling them down her shoulders a little, but leaving her to turn and finish the job.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

When the jacket disappeared, Mariela smiled against his lips. It was stunning to see him make a move and she felt challenged in a way. She reached up for his tie, loosening the knot enough to untie it. Her intention was to go for the buttons on his shirt next but her fingers froze as his mouth moved. She hadn’t been prepared, or maybe simply hadn’t thought him capable of doing something so bold. 

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He sighed heavily as she touched him, her hands feeling cool to the touch but still making him feel warm all over. He barely had time to feel insecure about his own body as she admired him with her eyes and her touch. He allowed this for a few breaths before he pulled his mouth off of her neck and quickly got his tie and shirt off of him; they could be found later.

Mariela was more experienced in this, that was for sure. It was obvious in the deft way she undressed him, her hands making quick work of his buttons. He looked down at her hands and placed his own over them, pressing them into his chest and smiling a little at her. He stepped a little closer, pressing his forehead to hers and moving his hands to the zipper on her dress, a question in his eyes.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

rosierjacob:

marielaflint:

This was what Mariela had needed. With Jake touching her, the rest of the house fell away. All that existed was inside the room with them and she didn’t care to wander outside of that any longer. Instead, she pressed her body against his, arms around his neck, letting herself shut it all out. She threaded her fingers through his hair and idly thought that she would have to have a word with him about cutting it. 

Those thoughts faded quickly when she felt his hands on her hips. She might have been confused and feeling lost in many areas of her life but it seemed they’d found something she was good at to focus their attention on. Her hands moved down to his chest, slipping beneath his jacket, running down his chest over his shirt. If it were up to her, it would all be off, and she could easily see to making it happen.

The feeling of her hands on his chest had him slipping off his suit jacket, tossing it somewhere behind him without breaking the kiss. It was a bold move and he had no idea what it meant, how far this would go. He just knew that he wanted as few obstacles as possible between her hands and his skin. He was remembering how it had been before, in his bedroom the way they had kissed and touched. He wanted that again. He wanted more.

He pulled away from her for a moment, looking into her eyes, his expression uncharacteristically serious. Then he moved down to kiss her neck and collarbone, wanting to taste more of her. He wanted it all.

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

His words were soft, not at all how she would have delivered the question in a reversal of roles, and yet Mariela still found herself flinching. She watched his face, trying to read between the frown lines, to understand him a bit better. The problem with that was that she understood Jake all too well already. She knew he didn’t want this but she also recognized that he would be okay with it, in the end. He could come to accept it, just as he’d accepted every part of Mariela – even the ones he hadn’t always liked. She found herself wishing she was more like him in that moment. It certainly would have made them both happier. 

She folded into his embrace, thinking about their day in his bedroom. Despite the physical aspect, something had happened that day. Mariela had comforted him and he’d allowed her to. It was different for them. On a regular basis, this was their routine - Mariela worked herself up, Jake tried his hardest to help, and she blocked him at every turn. Would it have been so bad to let him in a little? To let him be a comfort, rather than another person to push away. “I wish it was easier, Jake. I’m…” She shook her head. She was tired of running over the same lines. She already knew this script. Instead, she leaned back, grateful for the heels that brought her closer to his height so all she had to do was lean in to kiss him. 

It was amazing that, somehow, all it took was the feeling of her lips on his to make him feel that this was right. When they spoke about the future it was easy for fear and doubt to creep in. There was something about her in his arms---not lust, but this feeling of completeness. The obstacles didn’t disappear, but he knew that there had to be life beyond them. It was a reminder of what was at stake if they didn’t find a way to work through this. It was crystal clear to him: they had to find a way to get through this.

He kissed her back, slowly at first before really sinking into it. Sometimes he felt like a different person when he touched her---this desire to be in control, to take charge, so unlike he normally was. His hands moved down to her hips, pulling her even closer to him as he dug his fingers into the soft fabric of her dress.

[rosierjacob-blog]

carnifexmuggletum:

Blandon had been watching Jake for a while now, understanding why he looked so awkward. Part of him wished that he could save him from this nightmare but the other part just wanted to run and leave him alone. Unfortunately, this event was for Jake and to not speak to him, no matter how brief, would be rude. “Hi, Jake,” he smiled gently, “feeling hungry?”

He smiled wanly at Blandon. “Not anymore.” he said with a bit of a chuckle. Truthfully he was beginning to feel just the slightest bit sick, though it wasn’t just from the food. “Purebloods know how to eat, though, huh?”

[marielaflint]

this is not about us | jariela

[rosierjacob-blog]

marielaflint:

Underestimating. The word itself felt like an understatement. Mariela had done everything asked of her, followed every order, even went above and beyond the law to learn and grow and make herself a better Death Eater. It all seemed to be for nothing, standing there with Jake in formal wear, not a soldier but a bride. It wasn’t fair. “Life isn’t fair, mija.” She hated her father’s voice in her head, always there to remind her that what she wanted didn’t matter, not really. 

And then there was Jake, giving her exactly what she wanted. It didn’t change anything but she couldn’t help the way it uncurled something inside her chest to hear him say it. Watching him, she wondered for the first time if he still hated this as much as he used to. Judging by his lack of irritation, she was starting to have her doubts. It made something ache behind her ribs, made her want to comfort him in a way she didn’t need herself. She wasn’t hurt, she was angry. Jake looked… sad. She took a step closer to him, holding out her hand. It was a small gesture after the last time they’d seen one another but it was most comfortable to her. “Jake, you know this is… I mean, we shouldn’t…” She stopped, sighing heavily. “We shouldn’t have to do this. I still don’t want this. Not… this way.” Maybe not ever. No matter how they felt. 

He took her hand and looked down at their intertwined fingers. He felt just...rotten. The only thing that would really make her feel better would be to stop the engagement, and he had no control over that. “Do you think I don’t know that?” he asked, not defensively, but in a sad, defeated voice. “I don’t want it to be this way either.” It was the truth, but it was a complicated truth. He had felt betrayed by his parents for thrusting this upon him, he still didn’t feel ready to get married any time soon. He didn’t like his autonomy being taken away like this. But, really, what were his other options? He wasn’t a fighter, he wasn’t a rebel. He didn’t want to hurt and kill people, but he wasn’t brave enough to be a blood traitor. The most he could hope for was to marry some pureblood girl and hopefully be left alone. It was impossible to admit that he, selfishly, saw the appeal in that life. It seemed like the only compromise, the only way for things to quiet down---he had pretty much accepted this fate in the last few months. Resigned himself to it even if it wasn’t perfect. Caring for Mariela had complicated the matter. Most his hatred towards the arrangement was because she despised it. He didn’t want to be a part of a life she found miserable. They should have picked somebody else.

There was nothing he could say, so he wordlessly bent down and embraced her, hugging her firmly to him. Trying to say more with his actions than he could say in life. He took a few deep breaths, his thoughts swirling. “This is a mess. I wish it weren’t.” There was no way she could see this from his point of view. They were different people. He just didn’t want that to tear them apart.