You were married to one of the richest men in America. Robert Fischer, he was seen as a gentleman by lots and desired by others. Not you, though. This marriage was one of convenience. Arranged by both your parents, a marriage without any love is not a healthy one. You knew that very well, but of course, like the good obedient daughter you are, you had no say in this arrangement.
You kept a diary since the day you married him. It was a big and glamourous wedding, don't get me wrong—just no passion. Staring into his mesmerising eyes, no spark, no joy, no love. You didn't love him either. You didn't need someone's love to stay alive, right? Of course not.
Sleeping in separate beds, sitting at opposite sides of the dinner table, not talking. Just eating. You couldn't believe this was how you were going to live for the rest of your life. Once in a while, you guys had to make an appearance in front of the public to let people know you guys were "happy" and "perfect for each other", not knowing you'd cry yourself to sleep begging and praying to God for a loving marriage one day. You knew it wasn't going to be this one, maybe the next? Hopefully the next. That is, if you could divorce Robert and set yourself free from this agonising dream you thought would be a fairytale.
Work was, of course, a priority to both of you. You'd usually come home later—not that he cared. It was one of those days, you opened the front door to your shared penthouse, leaving your coat at the coat hanger before walking into the kitchen. Oh, you wish you didn't. There he was, with a woman you never saw before, smiling, laughing, loving her. He didn't even notice you approaching till you cleared your throat to let them know you were, indeed, home.
"Excuse me, what's going on here..?" you spoke with betrayal in your voice, even though you knew he didn't love you, you never thought he was that kind of man. A cheater.
"What are you doing here?" He said, with a stern voice. What am I doing here? You're the one who brought a strange woman into OUR house, Robert. You looked over at the woman, her short blonde hair tied into a small, messy bun. She wasn't wearing anything under, just one of Robert's shirts that he'd be on your ass all day if you dared to touch.
"Care to explain?" You glared at him with hatred in your eyes, even though your voice was betraying the sorrow you felt at that moment. He dared to roll his eyes at this situation, talking as if it was your fault, as if you were the one who cheated. "What did you expect? You know for a fact that I never loved you, Why are you so surprised?" Oh. You could've at least lied, Robert.
"But—" He didn't even let you finish your sentence before he spoke in an annoyed manner. "We should just— you know? Divorce already."
And just like that, you found yourself in the court, standing in front of your soon-to-be ex-husband. He didn't care, at all. All he wanted at this moment was to go back to the woman you caught him with. Why do they always pick the other woman..?
"What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with me? Am I unloveable? Oh, of course, I am. I can't believe I thought someone would love me with the mental state I'm in. I'm my father's daughter. I can't handle rejection. Oh, to be the center of attention. All I crave is someone to care about me once in a while. please. I'm miserable."
Your eyes dazed across the lines you wrote in your diary. No time for me, all the time in life for her.
"You slept peacefully knowing I was crying for you."
You felt your eyes water, what was wrong with you? Thinking loving a dying man would work out. You continued scribbling your thoughts, your heartaches away onto this very piece of paper.
"I always wondered how it felt like to be loved by you, knowing you only loved her and not me, broke me. By the way, I loved you wholeheartedly, I'm being serious. I wish someone loved me the same way I loved him. Oh to be cherished even in your darkest days, to be cared for is to be known. You didn't even know my birthday let alone my middle name. I was a fool to think you'd change, maybe I was the problem all along. I'll never have your love to keep, rot away in the lonely prison I created for myself."
Alone, again.
You threw the diary across the room, plopping your face into the soft pillow. Maybe this will help you with your problems, to cry and sleep. He made you feel like a 14-year-old girl once again, not in a good way though. The days when you used to cry yourself to sleep thinking you didn't deserve to be loved. In time, you learned to love yourself, until he destroyed that too.
It has been a while, hasn't it? Almost 7 months, wow. Only you could wish it had. It wasn't even Friday yet. You wrote in your diary like a crazy ex. You weren't though, right? No. He wasn't worth your time, then why do you keep writing? I don't really know… How am I supposed to know what's going on inside me when I can't feel alive?
"You told her 'I used her to forget you' while saying ' You're the best thing that has happened to me, baby' to me. Why not me, why her?"
Why am I unhappy? You wouldn't understand, you wouldn't understand...You caused great suffering. I wish you to be happy my darling, even if I'm not around, smile, be glad. A pair of crying eyes, you left them behind, to make another pair smile.
Summary: Your annoying boss and his annoying behavior.
Genre: Fluff
Word count: 1.03K
Note: Yall...I'm out of ideas that's why ı havent written anything...IM SORRY.
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Every girl in this city would sacrifice their lives to be in your place as Thomas Shelby's Personal Secretary, mostly because they think being his secretary means they get to have "fun" with him while in reality that's NOT the case AT ALL. He's always moody, mean, and rude to YOU. Not anyone else, YOU.
Always seeing him laugh -well, not really "laugh" but you know what I mean- with other women working alongside you. Was it something you did? Was it your attitude? well, you didn't really have an attitude. Always known as the shy and calm girl before he ruined it and made you like him. Moody, mean, and rude.
But right now you had a job, more like a chore. And It's to bring him his whiskey and documents as if he didn't have a whole ass collection of whiskey in his office.
You walked into your boss's office, holding a glass of whiskey as he requested for you to bring him. His feet crossed and thrown onto the desk, he looked at the simple document in his left hand while holding his cigarette with the other. Business was the priority and you were well aware of that.
He didn't even waste any energy acknowledging you came into his office. Typical Shelby. Thinking he is always seated on a pedistool, higher up from us "peasants".
You put his requested glass of whiskey on his desk, not yet noticing that he started looking at you with annoyance portrayed all over his face. "You're late," he spoke with his husky voice.
"I- I'm not-?" You muttered surprised as you looked down at him in the eyes you so adored from a distance. "You were supposed to be here with my whiskey AND documents at 4. It's 4:03." You rolled your eyes internally at his words, are you fucking kidding me? That's all you could think of. Is this guy messing with me?
You let out a soft sigh, putting on a fake frowny face as you widen your eyes at him. "Oh, please excuse me, sir. I didn't intend on being late." pulling out the documents out of the little bag you were carrying, just before you lowered them onto the desk in front of him he took them aggressively out of your grasp, leaving you in shock and making you think why he was aggressive today.
"Are you okay, sir?" Really? You knew it wasn't your place to comfort him but how could you control yourself when he was acting this way towards YOU?
"I need you to arrange a meeting with Mr. Solomons for me." He took a sip from his glass as he skimmed through the documents you brought for him.
He noticed you were still standing next to him, waiting for him to speak. "Go on. Go do your job." He dismissed you, shooing you away with a small motion of his hand as if you were a dog to him. Did that make you furious? yes. Could you do anything about it? No, not really, so you left rolling your eyes when you reached the door and shutting it behind you.
You were too furious to feel his eyes gaze at you as you walked away, smiling to himself as he muttered under his breath while shaking his head.
"What a darling thing, hm?"
You walked back into your chair and plopped onto it before sighing loud enough for Thomas to hear but you were glad he didn't. You were close to the line of getting fired from all your attitude towards your dear boss.
You looked up and saw your co-worker and best friend, Rosemary. The worry in her eyes was real, unlike other people who have been in your life before.
"Sweetie, are you okay? She asked with her unmistakable accent, she wasn't from around here so it was quite hard to get used to her accent but you managed.
"I don't know what I'm doing wrong, Rosie. Is there a proper reason for why he's acting this way towards me?" She fake-cleared her throat. "And you." You rolled your eyes, smiling. It was true, He didn't like both of you, but he despised you more. It was clear that he wanted you out of this company.
"Well darling, I think you should talk to him about it. How are we supposed to know why he acts this way towards you without talking?"
Oh if only it was that easy Rosie. Of course, It was easy for her to say, she lacked shyness. Probably because she didn't know how things worked around here but we won't be talking about that right now.
"Come on, go and talk to him." now she was dragging you to his office?! Oh, she was bold. You tried pulling away but her grip was strong, too strong almost.
It wasn't long before she opened his door without knocking and threw you inside, closing the door behind you. Shit. There was no going back now.
"Is there something you need?" He was, of course, annoyed at you. Not Rosie, you.
You walked closer to his desk with shaky hands and took a deep breath before speaking. "I uh…I just don't understand why you're acting…this way towards me. Was it something I did or…?"
"Sit down."
Shit. Did you say something you weren't supposed to or something? You sat down at one of the chairs in front of his desk, putting your hands on your knees. Was it that obvious that you were nervous? Why was he looking at you like that? oh god-
"I must say I find you fascinating. And I would like to ask if you'd like to have dinner with me. Business related, of course."
What? What kind of joke was this? You let out a breath you didn't even know you were holding before responding.
"I uh…sure, I guess."
"Well then, you may leave now." He gestured towards the door, still holding that cold expression on his face as if he didn't just ask you out.
You stood up, leaving as quickly as possible, running towards Rosemary's chair. She just HAD to know what happened.
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