Pretty Soldier, Sailor Star Ashley

🖤𝓝𝓮𝓿𝓮𝓻 𝓫𝓮 𝓪 𝓰𝓻𝓸𝓾𝓹𝓲𝓮; 𝓪𝓵𝔀𝓪𝔂𝓼 𝓫𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓡𝓸𝓬𝓴 𝓼𝓽𝓪𝓻 🖤 ★ ═══★ ◕ ‿ ◕★ ═══★ ★Born again Christian ★BS Tourism Graduate ★Artist ★Musician ★Poet&Writer ★Bookworm ★Japanophile ★Melancholic&Choleric #LittleBlackStar Star Ashley Cruz

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https://www.instagram.com/stories/roxstarash/3944544218610076730?utm_source=ig_story_item_share&igsh=MXF6cW0zZnQ2cWI0eg==

#tamagotchi

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#ootd #outfit

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i’m very self aware. which unfortunately hasn’t solved anything

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I’m not as important as I thought myself to be. They only ‘love’ me when they have some use for me. What happens when I’m exhausted and can’t do anything anymore? Will they be by my side when I’m finally at death’s door? – Probably not. Even surrounded by them, I’m still always alone. I wish I am dead, so I can finally be done. I labor at work and at home, I’ve never had rest. I’ve never experienced life’s so called ‘zest.’ – I tried so hard for a future I want, but still out of reach. Dead God, I don’t want to learn whatever shit you’re trying to teach. You reward my hard work with exhaustion and pain. Nothing great or good is what I could only gain. – Life is cruel and all I ever did is devoid of meaning. I don’t understand then what’s the purpose of still existing? Perpetually tired of a non-rewarding life makes me want to give up. I wish there was a way for all of this to simply stop. – Copyright Star Ashley Cruz May 23, 2026

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True love is helping get rid of evidence

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So easy (to fall in love) by Olivia Dean (cover)

View this post on Instagram A post shared by Star Ashley Cruz (@roxstarash)

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On Hold

Brand new year yet it’s the same old unanswered prayer. One step closer to meeting my maker. Yet life’s meaning evades my grasp more so than yesterday. I keep losing the will to live every single day. – God, are you sadistic that you enjoy when I suffer? You know everything about me, I’m so blunt I don’t stutter. How cruel of you to withhold the smallest of my dreams. You bless people who…

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Only you by the Platters (cover)

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Withering

I envy people who are evidently loved and treasured. Whereas I only exist to take care of others while pressured. I pay for everything, do everything without help – I’m basically a slave. They’re full of shit and oh so useless, the family that you gave. – I wonder what it’s like to never work hard and still have everything? These people, I can’t believe they have the audacity to consider…

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I’m the clay who’s starting to doubt her potter. More than half the year’s gone but there’s still problem after another. Suffering is supposed to be temporary but mine’s coming perpetually. Have I been selected to be in hell ever so early? – Why, I thought you genuinely love me? How come you don’t alleviate my constant misery? My prayers, do they fall on deaf ears? My hard work, do they mean nothing all these years? – I’m doing more than I should, but nothing’s rewarding. Everyday death as escape is what I’ve been yearning. Can you please tell me, do you enjoy watching me suffer? Have I no right to a happy ever after? – When you come back, would you still be my master? I can’t thrive in adversity, I’m actually losing faith faster. Alone, always alone, carrying my cross and crushing my back. Hope for tomorrow and my future, it’s now what I lack. – My thoughts, my consciousness are drowning me somewhere too deep. Lord, can you please grant me this: just kill me in my sleep. It should be fine, I’ve been alone all this time so no one would care. I’m living a cliché, my life is so unfair. – Copyright Star Ashley Cruz Aug. 16, 2025

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Washing machine heart by Mitski (cover)

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No guts, no glory (or valor)

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Off in a world of her own

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Venus Man Trap

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The Grime

Life as we know it has drastically changed. How dare you oppose me when I’m righteously enraged. We’re all related by blood yet you’ve thrown us under the bus. I never did anything wrong to any of you even when your only value to me were dust. – If I could legally dispose of you, I don’t mind doing it personally. After all, it’s not like there’s any shortage in our family’s genealogy. The…

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Bloodbath

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