[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

I can’t believe he’s a dad. Harry. A dad. This whole thing is a blood mindfuck, oh my god. I feel like I need a two day nap. You can absolutely come to girl talk if you want, but I’m planning on complaining about how sore my tits have been, so.

I don’t want to throw shit on the fire, but you should have seen how careful he’s been since she came along. He steps around everyone about everything - so trust me, this probably meant something to him. Oh wow, I’m so scared of some boob talk. I was in the room when Sunday was born, so it’s gonna take a little bit more than that to freak me out. I got placenta juice shit on my favourite jeans. You don’t scare easily after that.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

You’ve stayed pretty close with him over the years, yeah? Am I just thinking he’s changed because I want him to have changed? He seems better. More mature. I’m sorry - it was actually called Caroline? I’m going to proper murder him, I swear to God. Alright I’m gonna go pick Sammy up and have a big chat and hopefully girl talk helps me sort of my shit out.

I’m the certified best friend, love. And you’re right, he’s not a kid anymore. Not entirely anyway. You should see him with Willow, it’s the biggest mind fuck seeing a kid who used to have one tequila shot and throw up on my couch handling a baby like it’s exactly what he’s supposed to be doing in life. Shut up, I never told you that. I’m not invited to girl talk? Boo.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

It’s just nerve wracking, innit? After all the hell I went through last time I just… Is it worth getting into this with him again? Yeah, I’ve heard the song. Told him to take it off the record only to find out he’s waited so long to tell me that it can’t be taken off, so that’s fun. I don’t know, Grim. It’s Harry. My Harry, you know?

Trust me, I haven’t forgotten. And I haven’t forgotten what it was like to be on the receiving end myself... But Twitter has filters now so you don’t have to see it - and no ones gonna be running around Royal with a knife to slash your tires again. If it helps, I told him to tell you about it months ago. That was when he changed it from Caroline to Carolina... Not to be that guy, but you’re gonna have to actually make a choice and talk to him if you want him to be your Harry, babes.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

I’m not leaving again, I promise, I just don’t know what the hell I’m meant to say or do from here. You’re the only one who knows the hell I went through last time, who really knows, so I just need you to tell me that isn’t going to happen again. Have I heard Carolina, is what you’re really asking, isn’t it? Yeah, I heard it. Sort of how I ended up in his lap to start with. He’s such a prick.

Babes, I don’t wanna sound rude - but I really don’t think people are going to care like they did before. Not that I’m saying you should date him or anything - but honestly, I can’t see history repeating itself. Well I didn’t want to ask if you’d heard the love song he wrote about you if you hadn’t, did I? He is a prick, I know. What do you wanna do about all this? Honestly? Because if I’m gonna be playing middleman, I’d rather know your side before I get his.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

It doesn’t matter how much I grow. He’s my soft spot. You know he’s my soft spot. This is going to be an absolute nightmare, you mean. I can’t keep up with you lot anymore. Better. So much better.

Well I’m just saying this right now, you’re not moving. Not again. No bloody chance in hell. You just have to try harder, love. Come do a pub quiz with us, everyone brings the babies - it’ll be loads of fun. Look I’ve gotta ask... Have you heard his record yet?

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

How do you get someone you were in love with out of your system? Can you tell me how to do that, because if you can - I am all ears. I didn’t ask her to come, but you know what Sam’s like, the absolute angel. I’m more worried she’s going to bring everyone bloody with her. I’m not going to give you details, you perv.

I don’t know... Maybe five years of better judgment and growth would help? Oh hang on, you’ve already had those. She is an absolute angel, and there’s no way she’ll be here without bringing everyone with her... This is gonna be fun. Come on, Flacky... Better or worse? Give me all the details, I’ve been alone for so long now - I’ve gotta live vicariously through someone.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

Alright it’s not exactly my fault though, is it? You know what he’s like. I couldn’t - Fuck. I’m okay, yeah. I’m alright. I called Sam and had a big sook so she’s coming to visit with the baby but I’m so - Tell me what to do.

You really can’t get away with that excuse anymore, love. It’s been years, isn’t this supposed to be out of your system by now? You’ve got Teasdale coming to town? Wow, it must be bad. I don’t know what you’re meant to do - do I? How was it? Give me the gossip while I try and figure your life out for you.

[rileyhqs-blog]

I fucked up. Oh my god, I fucked up. I fucked up so bad. Oh god. I slept with Harry. I slept with him. Like yesterday. Help me.

@royallygrimmers

[royallygrimmers-blog]

Oh babes. Oh babes you fucked up. Why? Why do you not have common sense Caroline Flack? I can’t listen to the two of you go through this again. Not happening.

Honestly though - are you okay?

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

Absolutely could have used a heads up because now the little heartbreaker is forcing himself and his kid into my flat. Listen once we get Jack and Sam here, this town isn’t gonna know whats hit it. Don’t you miss everyone? I miss them already.

Well you didn’t tell me you were just going to up and move, did you? The baby’s sweet, I can promise that much at least. Yeah - I saw your little trip to the zoo with everyone the other week, very, very cute. I miss you all. You’re gonna make me all nostalgic, Flacky.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

jerleerenner

Of course you can, it’s for everybody, not just kids - also, chocolate. They have more then enough anyway, we can sneak a few. I have three dogs who’d probably be able to sniff all eggs out in five minutes flat. Come on, join us, let’s see who gets the most eggs!

I do always just feel a bit weird being the adult at things where kids are gonna be having the most fun. It’s alright when I’m at home and can nick my god-son for a trip to the zoo or something, but harder now that I’ve moved. Alright, for fairness sake we should probably leave all the dogs at home - gotta give the kids a fighting chance. But I’m absolutely in.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

ryl-flacky

Are you saying you’re upset to see me? Because I’ve already started work on getting Jack and Co. to move here too. I got un-lost alright. Kind of wish I’d stayed lost though. Henry is coming over, so, thanks for that heads up.

Darling, I’m never upset to see you... Just figured I should have warned you about the Henry thing. Pesky little bugger - just doesn’t seem to move away. Lou’s been here a load lately for work, so it might be alright trying to get Jack to move... Although they won’t be able to call Royal quiet ever again.

[rileyhqs-blog]

It took me my whole life to figure the layout of London out, so why I thought it’d be an alright idea to go for a walk in a town I’ve just moved to was going to end well - I have no idea. I got lost twice and ended up using Google bloody maps to get me back to my flat. Hiiiiya, I’m Caroline - Carrie, Caz, Flacky; whatever works for you - and I’ve yet to meet a person who’s got a worse sense of direction than myself. Please tell me someone else has gotten themselves proper lost in a new place.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

Love, when you asked me where I was living... I wasn’t exactly expecting you to show up. I would have warned you, if I had of known. Did you get un-lost alright?

[jerleerenner]

I’m going to take my daughter egg-hunting in town tomorrow and Monday, does anyone want to accompany us? I can promise lots of chocolate coming your way.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

Can I come even though I don’t have a kid? I’ve got dogs if they help sell anything - and I’ve got a good nose for all types of chocolate and candy...

[royallygrimmers-blog]

royallypez

I’m not jealous, Jesus. I just know that male artists are always going to get a preference in the industry and it would be nice for my mates to not completely overshadow what I might make with what he already has. Anyway. Doesn’t matter. Are you just going to… Bring me down to a relationship? Seriously?

So you're angry that he's getting a lot of attention over something you might make...? Right. Alright. Well I'm really fucking happy for him and the success he's having considering how hard he's worked and how much he's fought for this, so. You be bitter, that's fine, but keep that shitty energy away from him, yeah? He gets enough of this shit from people who aren't his mates.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

royallypez

You sound a bit obsessed there, love. I’ve met him more times than I could count and as much as he’s a sweetheart, he probably needs to get off his high horse and learn to share the love.

You're jealous of Harry? Bloody hell, Pez. What happened to being proud and happy of our mates achievements? This got anything to do with a certain Healy vanishing, or?

[royallygrimmers-blog]

royallypez

I just feel like that’s not a fair assumption to make. Why does he deserve so much? Is it because women are worth less, Nick? 

Because he's Harry Styles? How have you not figured that out yet? We all pale in comparison. What? It couldn't have less to do with whats between your legs. He's just... Harry.

[royallygrimmers-blog]

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NicholasGrimshaw: Dad life.