mo-ri never knew Kanon, but she knows everything about Her.
she knows how Kanon looked, what She was fond of, what She dreamed of, how She spoke and how She laughed. the old pet parrot pi-chan, who'd been in the house long before mo-ri was born, sometimes speaks in the voice of a six-year-old Kanon, and mo-ri freezes. out of reverence. its the only way to witness and confirm the existence of the Goddess she serves.
a modest shrine, built as the tobari estate. the altar is a mirror, only there can mo-ri see a face that isnt hers. mo-ri is its sole priestess. and her only duty is to make sure everything stays in its place.
mo-ri has rituals. every october 27th, she sits by pi-chan's cage and "mourns" the sister she never knew. why? mother no longer cries behind a locked bedroom door, and father no longer stays at work until late. grandmother no longer throws pitying glances at her granddaughter while whispering something to her husband. the "extra" things were cleared from the room long ago. and still, mori "mourns." because it must be done. because no one else will. because Kanon deserves to be remembered.
and mo-ri has her prayers, though shed never call them that. but when she stands before the mirror and checks that her image sits just right, she thinks, "do i look like Her today? will they notice the difference?" and if her parents smile when they look at her, it means the goddess has accepted the offering. today mo-ri was a good girl. today mo-ri did just enough.
all she has are borrowed things. Kanon in every object in the house after all...in the spacious room that wasn't meant for mo-ri. in the synthesizer in the living room that mo-ri never touches. in the family portrait in the hallway where mo-ri doesn't appear. in the name "Tobari Kanon," which mo-ri never claims as her own. that name is like a heirloom, you can't take it for yourself - only guard it.
the name Kanon is a piece of clothing that the younger sister wears after the older one. so mo-ri treats the persona "Kanon" like a precious thing entrusted to her. you don't ruin borrowed things right? you take care of them, handle them with respect, especially when they mean so much to others, and especially when they're all you have.
a priestess doesn't argue with her deity. she doesn't ask for anything for herself. her love for Kanon isn't ~love~ in the ordinary sense. it's an endless attention to making sure the goddess's expression sits perfectly, that her hair shines just right, that her tone of voice is exactly the one that's needed, that her parents keep believing their daughter is still here.
for mo-ri, the fact of her own nonexistence isn't a tragedy. mo-ri has only one task, and that task is to keep serving. because if she stops, the shrine will empty and then her parents will see that the Goddess died long ago nd that all this time there was nothing but emptiness on the altar. but as long as mo-ri keeps serving, the Goddess lives in her familys eyes. thats enough.
guys i am so scared ill reblog your posts to my secret sideblog one day. if some weird no one you don't know reblogs your posts then their reblogs disappear in two seconds and i just so happen to reblog right after them. this. this is not me guys. its all in yall heads
amandla
discoholicmusic
dailybridgerton
