Claire Keane
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@rules-subject-to-change
hiiiii. /disdain
i am the satire, and i like, only speak in sarcasmmm.... you don't haaave to speak back in sarcasm. just putting it out there so you dont get confusedddd
we're unclaimed sooooo. baseline rules apply, i guess.
Tags:
#taunting- starting a rp chain
#sassback- rp
#scornful answers- asks
my offer still stands!!
does anyone want to go on an eternal road trip where we have to watch our words and be prepared for suffer for broken rules and questions are dangerous and to never speak ill of Them and speak in third persons.
and pay for our gas with trinkets and buy soda with pints of blood and baby carrots with our fingers.
MMEMEMEMMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
suuuuuuuuure, that sounds like sssooooooooooooo much fun!
oh it’s you.
hello there friend.
hhiiiiiiiiiiiii. I can tell you're just ssooooooooooo excited to see me.
my offer still stands!!
does anyone want to go on an eternal road trip where we have to watch our words and be prepared for suffer for broken rules and questions are dangerous and to never speak ill of Them and speak in third persons.
and pay for our gas with trinkets and buy soda with pints of blood and baby carrots with our fingers.
MMEMEMEMMEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
suuuuuuuuure, that sounds like sssooooooooooooo much fun!
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
*They stay in their 'hiding position.' trembling, trying not to make it that obvious they're crying. Genius Goose. Obviously.*
*They veeeeery slowly, crouch down again, and hold out their hand to Orion. Not saying a word, because no matter what they do, it always comes out wrong.*
*They lean into the Satires touch, looking up at the with big round teary eyes.*
*The Satire pets the goose, looking at them with big, mismatched eyes*
*they gently try to nip at The Satire, still looking mildly scared*
*Trying not to flinch, the leaves half of The Satire's face rustles a bit in response. The bite doesn't doesn't really affect them though, their hands are covered by oversized sleeves.*
*They go still, just observing*
*Before tiredly honking. They've deemed The Satire...less of a threat*
*The Satire relaxes and sits down on their butt. too much social situation. :/*
*They tiredly crawl into the Satires arms, turning around until they find a comfortable position and falling asleep. Oh dear. The tragedy of sleepy goose child.*
*The Satire is stuck. Oh dear. Oh well.*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
*They stay in their 'hiding position.' trembling, trying not to make it that obvious they're crying. Genius Goose. Obviously.*
*They veeeeery slowly, crouch down again, and hold out their hand to Orion. Not saying a word, because no matter what they do, it always comes out wrong.*
*They lean into the Satires touch, looking up at the with big round teary eyes.*
*The Satire pets the goose, looking at them with big, mismatched eyes*
*they gently try to nip at The Satire, still looking mildly scared*
*Trying not to flinch, the leaves half of The Satire's face rustles a bit in response. The bite doesn't doesn't really affect them though, their hands are covered by oversized sleeves.*
*They go still, just observing*
*Before tiredly honking. They've deemed The Satire...less of a threat*
*The Satire relaxes and sits down on their butt. too much social situation. :/*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
*They stay in their 'hiding position.' trembling, trying not to make it that obvious they're crying. Genius Goose. Obviously.*
*They veeeeery slowly, crouch down again, and hold out their hand to Orion. Not saying a word, because no matter what they do, it always comes out wrong.*
*They lean into the Satires touch, looking up at the with big round teary eyes.*
*The Satire pets the goose, looking at them with big, mismatched eyes*
*they gently try to nip at The Satire, still looking mildly scared*
*Trying not to flinch, the leaves half of The Satire's face rustles a bit in response. The bite doesn't doesn't really affect them though, their hands are covered by oversized sleeves.*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
*They stay in their 'hiding position.' trembling, trying not to make it that obvious they're crying. Genius Goose. Obviously.*
*They veeeeery slowly, crouch down again, and hold out their hand to Orion. Not saying a word, because no matter what they do, it always comes out wrong.*
*They lean into the Satires touch, looking up at the with big round teary eyes.*
*The Satire pets the goose, looking at them with big, mismatched eyes*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
*They stay in their 'hiding position.' trembling, trying not to make it that obvious they're crying. Genius Goose. Obviously.*
*They veeeeery slowly, crouch down again, and hold out their hand to Orion. Not saying a word, because no matter what they do, it always comes out wrong.*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
*They start crying. They're not very well versed I'm sarcasm at the best of times. They're quite a useless goose in terms of going to find someone when scared, considering they just run off to hide behind The Satires legs in their attempt to hide from...The Satire.*
*The Satire freezes up immediately. They don't move at all, not wanting to scare the goose.*
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*they honk scared, sounding about to cry. You're scaring them:( how could you?"
*The Satire immediately stands and backs up a few steps, not wanting to scare/hurt the goose*
im soooooooo soorry about that, didn't mean to scare you.
heelllo there. you are just. deeeelightful.
@rules-subject-to-change
*They tilt their head confused, honking nervously. New friend..?*
*The Satire crouches to be eye level with the goose*
and who might you be? a handsoooome litlle goose?
*theres rustling in the bushes outside of the spludge's house cabin and out emerges a strange figure. with legs of some deer/goat/horse creature and a torso of what seems to be a normal human, The Satire looks dazed with confusion clear on their face. which is halfway made of leaves. they also have a strange effect to them, which it seems like their ears and hair cut are constantly changing- each time you look at them, its different*
*The Spludge is inside the Spludge Hudge, fidgeting with some trinkets. But the instant the rustling starts, The Spludge is outside.*
*Their face is plastered with a stern look. Other Folk on their property is often not a good thing, in their experience.*
Stranger! This is The Spludge's property!
mm, The Satire is sooooo sorry- where is The Spludge's property, exactly?
*The Spludge looks, really out of their element*
The uh... The Spludge doesn't understand if The Satire is being serious...
The Satire ooonly speaks sarcasmmm... The Spludge isn't expected to respond in kiiiind...
Ohhh... The Spludge is NOT good with sarcasm, they're glad they don't have to be sarcastic, too
yyyeah.... The Satire thought sooo.... mm. The Satire, is like. kiiind of confused right nowww. if, like, you could exxplain some thingsss?
*The Spludge looks like a middle schooler who isn't sure if they're getting made fun of or not. They drag out their response as if they're not sure if being sincere is the right response*
Yyyeeeees... This is The Spludge, hi, and then this is where The Spludge lives, they own the Spludge Hudge, their lawn, and every trinket that's here. They also own a tree, but that's not here. Does The Satire need anything else explained?
*They point as they talk, speaking in their usual happy tone until the very end. They think The Satire deserves sincere responses but they're very unsure what The Satire wants*
oookay. Your "Spludge Hudge" actually looks...pretty coooool. ...soooooo What about the treee? what's the deal with thaaat.
*The Satire is being so sincere, but the only way they can communicate that is through body language and expressions, their tone forever stuck as disinterested and sarcastic*
*The Spludge is trying their best to ignore The Satire's tone, but their best is not good enough right now. They keep on wesring their brave face and respond as sincerely as they can.*
Thaaanks- uh, one of The Spludge's friends has a very pretty field, and their friend was kind enough to give The Spludge a tree there! The Spludge has a very important job there as goose guardian!
a frieeend? is it the goose? i might go say hello... you see, im new 'round these parts and i soooo do not want someone to show me aroundd.
hheellooooo. heard you like saarcasm...good for youuuu!
@rules-subject-to-change
Oh.
Um. I’d like to know who you are.
mmm... you can call me, The Satire. And Who might you be?
I’m not going to give you my name if that’s what you’re asking. But, you can call me Amber.
Lovely. you're not even gonna introduce yourself properly? Whatever, I don't that care that much. What I do care about is if you can actually sing?
I- yeah. I can. I’d like to know why you care.
cause that makes you interesting! everyone's just dyyyyying to hear you sing! you know how many Humans say that as some sort of threat, just to get caught in a completely different trap? it's sooooooo fun. not.
*theres rustling in the bushes outside of the spludge's house cabin and out emerges a strange figure. with legs of some deer/goat/horse creature and a torso of what seems to be a normal human, The Satire looks dazed with confusion clear on their face. which is halfway made of leaves. they also have a strange effect to them, which it seems like their ears and hair cut are constantly changing- each time you look at them, its different*
*The Spludge is inside the Spludge Hudge, fidgeting with some trinkets. But the instant the rustling starts, The Spludge is outside.*
*Their face is plastered with a stern look. Other Folk on their property is often not a good thing, in their experience.*
Stranger! This is The Spludge's property!
mm, The Satire is sooooo sorry- where is The Spludge's property, exactly?
*The Spludge looks, really out of their element*
The uh... The Spludge doesn't understand if The Satire is being serious...
The Satire ooonly speaks sarcasmmm... The Spludge isn't expected to respond in kiiiind...
Ohhh... The Spludge is NOT good with sarcasm, they're glad they don't have to be sarcastic, too
yyyeah.... The Satire thought sooo.... mm. The Satire, is like. kiiind of confused right nowww. if, like, you could exxplain some thingsss?
*The Spludge looks like a middle schooler who isn't sure if they're getting made fun of or not. They drag out their response as if they're not sure if being sincere is the right response*
Yyyeeeees... This is The Spludge, hi, and then this is where The Spludge lives, they own the Spludge Hudge, their lawn, and every trinket that's here. They also own a tree, but that's not here. Does The Satire need anything else explained?
*They point as they talk, speaking in their usual happy tone until the very end. They think The Satire deserves sincere responses but they're very unsure what The Satire wants*
oookay. Your "Spludge Hudge" actually looks...pretty coooool. ...soooooo What about the treee? what's the deal with thaaat.
*The Satire is being so sincere, but the only way they can communicate that is through body language and expressions, their tone forever stuck as disinterested and sarcastic*
hheellooooo. heard you like saarcasm...good for youuuu!
@rules-subject-to-change
Oh.
Um. I’d like to know who you are.
mmm... you can call me, The Satire. And Who might you be?
I’m not going to give you my name if that’s what you’re asking. But, you can call me Amber.
Lovely. you're not even gonna introduce yourself properly? Whatever, I don't that care that much. What I do care about is if you can actually sing?
hheellooooo. heard you like saarcasm...good for youuuu!
@rules-subject-to-change
Oh.
Um. I’d like to know who you are.
mmm... you can call me, The Satire. And Who might you be?
hhhelloo.
@rules-subject-to-change
uhm....hi??
ddo you...mmh. it's awfully nice to meet you...could i get your name?
eeaahhhhhh uhhmmm ----
wwwow. rude. i respect it tho- its whatevers. soooo...why are you hereee...?
oh, ah, i'm not--like, trying to be rude or anything, but i dont think i should, you know....answer your questions.....
oh... im not like, in a house or whatever. i dont really..have rules. so you wouldn't like, need to about that or whatever.
oh!! ok!!! good!!!
i mean...uh......whateverrrr its not like i careee......ehhhhh......🙄🙄🙄🙄
*The Satire laughs condescendingly at your attempt of sarcasm*
Is that reaaallly the best you can dooo? doesn't matter anyways, you're not expected to match my... manner of speaking.
