Mew.

Autistic bisexual furry autigender with chronic pain. They/them

[ruthniss]

So. Fucking. Exhausted. I want to cry, sob, but can't even summon up the energy to do that.

Cleaned out the car yesterday (seated of course) and then fainted twice. Missed my son doing marching band which I already missed Monday b/c I couldn't get out of the house.

Fainted again today because I walked like 15 steps to check the mail (hanging outside the front door).

Then my mom asks Everytime if I'm feeling better. And why haven't they fixed this yet. And like...

Not getting that it might be improved upon but not fixed.

Then I know the cardiologist will say have I been exercising and like. What am I gonna say? Yes, and it makes me faint?

Propped up on my nest of pillows trying to enjoy YT and just... Wxost.

[ruthniss]

Started a new job after being laid off in February. Work at home, call center.

However, I am having a really hard time sitting up for 8 hours! My brain goes fuzzy a few hours in.

Luckily it is a very very easy job but like ugh...

Also I didn't notice how many times I used the restroom now until I had to do it on a schedule again, lmao.

[ruthniss]

Holter monitors are a sensory hell.

But ripping it off will feel worse.

This better have done SOMEthing.

[ruthniss]

Yup I was right, tearing it off sucked and now my skin is raw in places and hurts, not to mention the residue.

But the barnacle is off!

[ruthniss]

Holter monitors are a sensory hell.

But ripping it off will feel worse.

This better have done SOMEthing.

[ruthniss]

Tried to take my pants off and instead my body thought it'd be best to faceplant into the bed.

I mean this is why when I do stand it is somewhere I can fall softly or catch myself, or wifey and catch me but cmon...

[ruthniss]

Wait that's not normal?

In trying to figure out if I have POTs (all signs point to yes, but getting to a cardio is being impossible) it kept mentioning EDS as a co-morbidity. But I was like I am not hypermoile...

Both my knees can 'go backwards', so can my elbows

I am flat-footed (who knew this was tied to that?)

My thumbs can touch my wrists (TIL< why would I have done this otherwise?)

My ankles are very subject to rolling/ spraining and bend outside the normal range

I bruise like a banana (esp. my legs)

Snap, crackle and pop! (knees mostly but others can too)

And now this? Can I PLEASEEEEEEEE have a break?

[ruthniss]

Part Deux

My shoulders both popped pulling up my pants

My vision blacked out when I bent over (in my wheelchair) to feed my cat

I feel sick every morning

Going to the bathroom now exhausts me

I'm always running into things

[ruthniss]

Sitting Laying on the couch is all I can do now. I only get up to use the bathroom or go to bed. Everything is spinning.

Yet I better still be trying to get a job...

[marrsrover]

"We all have the same 24 hours!"

Bitch, the fuck we do. It takes me half an hour of laying in bed to recover from waking up. You know, the thing that you find refreshing and energizing? And no, I can't drink coffee. Why, you ask? Because it gives me heart palpitations and has a 50/50 chance of doing nothing or making me more tired. Be so for real.

[ruthniss]

Snails!

I was able to get my butt outside for a few minutes and found a couple snails! I love snails and feeling them nibble on me. Gained spoons!

After I put them down (separately) the little one followed the big one's big one's slime and climbed back on them and took a ride back to the leaf litter I found them under!

[corpse-toy]

Hello This Is The Office Of The Specialist You Were Referred To. We Have Decided To Never Call You To Schedule An Appointment Because You Are Evil And We Do Not Accept Evil Patients

[ruthniss]

Went to the ER yesterday because my symptoms are so bad I can't even reliably lift my head.

They did a bunch of tests and discharged me. I'm not dying so they don't care.

I won't be able to feed myself or use the restroom while my spouse is at work but... Not dying?

They also heavily implied that it's in my head, so fun.

Meeting with GP on Tuesday. God knows what she will be able to do but ok ig

[ruthniss]

Wait that's not normal?

In trying to figure out if I have POTs (all signs point to yes, but getting to a cardio is being impossible) it kept mentioning EDS as a co-morbidity. But I was like I am not hypermoile...

Both my knees can 'go backwards', so can my elbows

I am flat-footed (who knew this was tied to that?)

My thumbs can touch my wrists (TIL< why would I have done this otherwise?)

My ankles are very subject to rolling/ spraining and bend outside the normal range

I bruise like a banana (esp. my legs)

Snap, crackle and pop! (knees mostly but others can too)

And now this? Can I PLEASEEEEEEEE have a break?

[draconym]

do you think two pennies is still enough for the ferryman or has inflation driven up the fare

[draconym]

if he makes me use an app I am simply not crossing the river Styx.

[110789angle]

[ruthniss]

Now you're stealing my super hot showers from me? Hr was 126 sitting in the shower, went down to 90 when I cooled down the water.

[ruthniss]

I KNOW needing to use my wheelchair, not because of pain (usual use) but because if I stand up my heart rate goes through the roof, I get shaky, my head fogs and I feel ready to fall over is bad. Also I used to like never drink cuz ... School trauma of being unable to go to the restroom whenever mixed with an Autistic's blithe disregard of my body until it screams and noooow I am drinking all the things. Giant cup is my friend.

I also know I am currently uninsured and unemployed and I would likely need several visits to a specialist.

Just taking electrolyte pills, all the water I can get (God am I thorsty) and staying seated/reclined as much as humanly possible. And I am just so so tired.

[ruthniss]

Wdym I am still dizzy after an hour and a half of slowly walking around dollar tree? 😭